A Few Thoughts

As I was watching the Rose Bowl, a few thoughts popped into my head (most non-USC/Texas related)...

-It appears that Herm Edwards will be heading to Kansas City to take over for Dick Vermeil. I hate it when a coach says that he wants to remain in a particular city but then leaves anyway. Hey Herm, just a few days ago you told everyone in New York to stop asking you about Kansas City because as you said in your own words, “I'm happy to be the coach here and I’m going to be the coach here, like I said before…” Then why are you going to KC, Coach? In this day and age, fans simply expect players to be disloyal; it comes with the territory. But coaches? Guys who spend countless hours motivating with images of team unity? I hate it when coaches flake out like that.

-Matt Leinert looks terrible tonight. Obviously the Texas D is one of the best in the country but something about him makes me feel like he's been overrated. His throws are soft and wobbly. He's quicker than I remember him being but he's not even making plays with his legs. He and the Saints might be a match made in underachieving heaven.

-Mark Prior opted out of his contract and will now get a big fat raise thanks to arbitration. This is both a blessing and a curse for the Cubs. My personal opinion is that Mark Prior will become overpaid in 2006 but the upside for the Cubs is that Prior will be under intense pressure to justify his raise and will either: a) pitch great for them or b) choke on the pressure and chip away at his value for 2007, making his next contract a bit more reasonable for Chicago. For the record, I hate it when players opt out of their contracts.

-I'm curious what the Bills will do with Marv Levy. I don't want to discriminate based on age here but the man is 80 years old. He knows a lot about football but I'm sure he knows very little about the salary cap. In what capacity will be serve the Buffalo Bills? How useful could be possibly be to that team?

-I think the NFL needs to intervene in Detroit and quietly, politely but firmly force William Clay Ford to fire Matt Millen. This needs to happen behind closed doors, for obvious reasons, but it needs to happen. The Super Bowl will be in Detroit in exactly one month from tomorrow and the host franchise is an utter disgrace to the game. Home games at Ford Field were toxic, what with the "Fire Millen" chants and the hometown fans wearing visiting colors in protest. Considering the NFL threw Ford a major bone by giving Super Bowl XL to the Lions, the NFL has all the leverage they need to force a change. And by the way, if anyone thinks that the NFL doesn't involve itself in team affairs, who do you think fired Mike Tice? Paul Tagliabue pulled the string on that one. Why? Public financing of a football stadium in St. Paul is why. The NFL wants new stadiums built with public dollars and Tice was the sacrificial lamb.

-I wish the World Baseball Classic would go away. It's such a half-baked idea. Honestly, is it a good idea for hamstrings, rotator cuffs and rib cages to be put in harm's way? This is an event that should take place in the offseason, if it should take place at all. Considering Major League Baseball has a lot invested in this, I am surprised that they don't see the potential disasters in having it during Spring Training. What if Pujols, Abreu, Ortiz and Vlad all get hurt? What if the All-Star Game sucks because their subs will be Burnitz, Mientkiewicz, LeCroy and Torrealba? I'll bet my left one that ratings for the "Classic" are mediocre.

Hot Stove Part XXV / Preston, Jeromy & Blockbuster Trade

Let's get the small news out of the way first:

1. Preston Wilson signed a one year deal worth $4M to play CF for the Houston Astros. Given how little money that is these days, the Astros are getting some nice upside if Wilson can stay healthy enough to give them 500 AB's. With Berkman, Ensberg and now Wilson, the 2006 Astros have improved their lineup over the National League Championship version of the team.

2. Jeromy Burnitz spurned the Orioles offer of two years and $12M and instead took the Pirates' one year deal worth $6M (with a mutual option for another year at the same salary). For the Pirates, they add a decent hitter at a decent price. Burnitz should be able to hit 20 or more HR if he can stay healthy although the Pirates still won't be competing for a playoff spot this year, likely extending their streak to a 13th season without October baseball. For the Orioles, their miserable winter continues. They can't convince any free agents to join the team and their lone star player, Miguel Tejada, keeps on rattling the cage, trying to get out...

...which brings us to the discussion of the proposed blockbuster trade between Baltimore, Boston and as many as two other teams. Since there are so many permutations of this trade, it's impossible to know which version is likely to happen. The main pieces are the aforementioned Tejada and Boston's Manny Ramirez where Boston would receive Tejada and Manny would either be sent to Baltimore directly or would be flipped by the Orioles to the Mets for Carlos Beltran. Another version of that deal includes the Mets getting Manny outright and sending a collection of pitchers and prospects to Boston and Baltimore, again with Tejada going up to Fenway. My understanding is that some version of a Tejada/Manny trade will go down in the next week to 10 days and perhaps even sooner.

Quick Thing On FSU...

I don't want to steal anyone's thunder on the bowl postings but I feel this has to be said:

Bobby Bowden, one of his flabby buttcheeks, or at the very least a graduate assistant should probably try and recruit one kicker that can actually make a kick. I don't think Bowden has had a kicker since Janikowski that can consistently make field goals and he certainly waited a good twenty years before Sebastian showed up at Free Shoes University.

Honestly, it's FSU, players from all over the country are dying to play in the most permissive environment in college. Am I to believe that there isn't one part rapist/part kicker out there that can hit a 40-yarder who would refuse a chance to spend four years in pleasant beach weather? Come on, Bowden, you're not working hard enough to remedy this 30 year problem.

Bowl Storylines & 2nd Annual Playoff Predictions

First off, for those who missed the Buckeyes win the Fiesta Bowl over Notre Dame, I need to tell you about what ABC had as the #1 storyline: Apparently, the sister of Notre Dame’s QB Brady Quinn is dating Ohio State LB AJ Hawk. Yes, it had absolutely nothing to do with the game, but they interviewed most of the players about this. Throughout the game, they’d show her in the stands (wearing a jersey that was half-ND, half-OSU), then they’d bring her down on the field to comment on how she felt about different sacks. The weirdest thing is, she got continually uglier as the game wore on. Personally, I believe she isn’t even dating AJ Hawk and this was just a ploy by ABC to capture the attention of the female audience.

As for the Championship game coming up on Wednesday night, I didn’t know who to root for until very recently. Honestly, I hate the Big 12, but now I’ve decided that I hate the “2005 USC” team more than any other team, including Texas, simply because of the asinine ESPN Sportscenter feature matching up the 10 greatest teams of all time against 2005 USC. Mighty Mike pointed this out earlier in the week in a Slate article. The part I like about that USC segment is when they talk about each of the all-time great teams. The part that just confounds all logic is that each time I've seen this segment (3 times maybe?), Herbstreit and Mark May talk about how 2005 USC would destroy (insert team here) by a score of 43-27, and how everyone in America agrees because everyone voted for 2005 USC yet again. The thing is, 2005 USC wouldn't destroy all these other teams. They barely got past Notre Dame. They barely got past an "average" Fresno St. team. They have a very weak defense. I realize they are going for their 3rd straight championship team, but this one is weaker on defense than any of the other ones! I would much rather, as always, let the programmers at EA Sports set up the all-time bracket, and let their simulation tell me who would win. It's objective, and much better than this dumb segment on ESPN. Plus, we'd get ridiculous video game highlights. EA sports would have loved to have done the advertising too, from what they tell me.

Anyways, on towards my 2nd annual playoff forecast:

AFC

5-Jacksonville @ 4-New England – This is what I consider the easiest game on the schedule. I just feel as though Jacksonville has played a creampuff schedule all season, the nerve of them to play the Texans and the Titans twice!
Pick: New England

6-Pittsburgh @ 3-Cincinnati – This should be an interesting game, especially since it’s the only divisional game on tap. Ultimately, the Cincy defense has been pretty non-existent the 2nd half of the season, and I think that will mean a very short trip to the playoffs.
Pick: Pittsburgh

AFC Forecast - Where Rule 1 does NOT work

New England will then be forced to go to Denver. I realize that one of my rules for the playoffs, printed 1 year ago is: "Rule 1: It’s tough to beat a team you already beat. If you played a team once, the losing team OFTEN wins the rematch." However, as you will see shortly, almost every potential playoff game this year is a rematch, and I just don’t think New England has enough to enable a win in Denver. Meanwhile, I also believe Indy will be able to "sweep" Pittsburgh in yet another rematch from earlier in the season. Basically, I'm saying that Rule 1 will not work in the AFC. Finally, Denver will travel to Indy and Indy will have no trouble shredding the “improved defense” of the Broncos.

NFC

5-CAR @ 4-NY Giants – This is, by far, my most anticipated game of the week. I really believe that the winner of this game is capable of reaching the Super Bowl. Then again, any team in the NFC is more than capable of winning the 50-50 matchups that exist, since no one is really that dominating. In the end, I have no idea who will win this game, so I will just go with the team with the better defense, and that is, far and away, the CAR.
Pick: CAR

6-Washington @ 3-Tampa Bay – For this game, I am going to apply “Rule 1”, and because Tampa Bay somehow won the earlier matchup 36-35, I fully expect the Redskins to be enraged enough to win in Tampa.
Pick: Washington

NFC Forecast - where I expect Rule 1 to work every time

Washington travels to Seattle, and I will apply “Rule 1”, so that Seattle wins the matchup. The Seahawks have one of the noisest stadiums, and I just don’t expect the Redskins to survive. Meanwhile, CAR will have no trouble with the Bears, because the Bears are merely following the script from 2001 when they streaked out to a 2nd-round bye with a strong defense, and then got blown out in their first game. In addition, CAR already lost to the Bears so “Rule 1” will work here. Finally, CAR will go to Seattle and win just to complete the Super Bowl matchup I’ve been waiting for all season and because Seattle has not seen a defense this good all season. This is highly unlikely though, since no team has ever won 3 road games to get to the Super Bowl, but if anyone can figure out how to do it, it’s Coach John Fox.

Finally, I expect Indy to win over CAR. Yes, this is the opposite of my pre-season pick (CAR over Indy), but it's what I'm feeling at the moment.

Final Season Stats
Last week: 8-8
Season: 160-96
Manwich Matchup: 10-7 (I’m riding the CAR as far as it can go, and I hope that’s the Super Bowl)
Upset Special: 3-14 (I picked the Bears, even though I hate them. In the words of comic book guy: “worst upset special year ever.” If I hadn't forced myself to pick upsets each week, it would have been an amazing year.)

College Bowl Bits

Some thoughts from my college football watching....

1. Hats off to the Sweatervest. Despite Mark "A public apologyis needed followed by my immediate resignation" May claim that Notre Dame would rip through OSU, the boys in scarlet and grey held Notre Dame to its second lowest scoring output of the year. Yeah, show off those Super Bowl rings a few more times Chuck, maybe somebody will give a damn. Tressel has 50 wins in his first five years including 3 top 5 finishes. Not too shabby.

2. Put Iowa on the list of teams slighted by the zebras. Blown calls on pass interference, interceptions and most importantly off-sides at the end of game killed Iowa. I don't particularly care if some third rate conference or developing country gets slighted cause they don't get to ref a bowl game. Tough tootsies. The players, the coaches and the fans deserve the same high quality umpires they get the rest of the year. (For the record the refs did an outstanding job in most of the bowl games that I have watched).

3. Gutsy call of the bowl season goes to West Virginia whose fake punt with less than two minutes cinched their upset over UGA. The BullDogs hit the snooze button for the first quarter thinking that the Big East really was that bad. The SEC Champ, despite basically playing a home game at Sugar Bowl, sure did lay a big fat round egg.

4. Using the football transitive property since USC barely beat Notre Dame and Texas barely beat OSU the fact that OSU steamrolled Notre Dame would lead one to conclude that Texas will beat USC. I have never proven the football theory of transitivity but if Young can roam free and the Texas front 4 can put pressure on Leinart - Texas will win. Given my propensity for making outrageous comments and not backing them up....I will start the new year off right...Texas beats USC.

Brees=Done For

I just read the report from the medical team in San Diego that Drew Brees dislocated his shoulder and torn his labrum in his throwing shoulder. He will have to have surgery to repair the tear and it will take 4-6 months for him to rehab the injury. I think that the Chargers were smart in keeping Phillip Rivers because the injury that Brees got is the kiss of death for quarterbacks and pitchers. Just ask Rob Nen or Rich Gannon how the injury treated him. I spoke with my physical therapist (who works on Broncos) regarding the injury and he said that offensive or defensive linemen who get the injury bounce back easily because they don't rely solely on their arm capabilities, but quarterbacks who get this injury will have a hard time coming back to their original strength and accuracy. What happens after the surgery is performed is that you lose alot of the mobility of your shoulder, which cuts down on the accuracy and velocity of throws. Pitchers come back from Tommy John surgery but not from labrum repair. The same can be said for quarterbacks. Take Brees out to stud, because after this surgery he is going to throw like a girl. My labrum repair surgery has cut down on my fastball by 30 mph and I can only throw 10 yards instead of the normal 50 yards.

PS Kerry Wood is done for this year as well...I will never in my life draft him on any team in fantasy baseball.

Do Not Rehire

ESPN ran a story on last night's edition of SportsCenter that indicated that Mike Sherman, Mike Martz and Jim Haslett were all likely to be interviewed for head coaching vacancies this offseason.

I am dying to know why Martz and Haslett would be deemed worthy of another opportunity, especially so soon? Mike Martz may be an "offensive genius" but he's lacking in all of the other important qualities that make a coach successful in the NFL. He can't manage a game clock, he's terrible with the use of timeouts, he's clueless on the replay challenges, he favors the pass nearly three times as much as the run and he doesn't have a shred of credibility on the defensive side of the ball.

As for Haslett, he doesn't even have the specialist's "genius" label to fall back on. His teams are routinely underprepared and he and his players are always making excuses for why they don't win games. Jim Haslett is the rare coach in the NFL that, I believe, makes his team worse. I can't think of a single team in the NFL that would be better off for having one of these two losers as their head coach.

It's time the NFL took a good look at their hiring practices. If a guy with a career record below .500 (Haslett) and another who mismanaged the most prolific offense in football history (Martz) can get jobs immediately after being fired, the NFL has a lot to answer for.

Wild Card Edition

Happy New Year to the Back Seat Drivers. It's playoff time (Wild Card Edition)

Washington at Tampa Bay

The Skins travel to Gruden Country for a re-match of a thrilling 36-35 TB regular season victory. Gibbs has the Skins exactly where he wants them (running 2x more than passing) and in the post-season.
Pick- Skins

Jax at NE

The Pats are dangerous. Brady knows how to win post-season football games. Pick- NE.

Carolina at the G-Men

The two teams that I cannot seem to figure out this season are both in action this weekend. Jax? I dont think so. Carolina? No... I like the way Tiki is running the football and Manning will make a statement. Pick = G-Men

Cowher's Jaw vs. the New and Improved Bengals

The Battle for Ohio. This time it's for real. Pick = Steelers

MMBSD: Season's End and Season's Begining

Well this Sunday marked the end of the regular season and the start of the playoffs. This year's playoffs could be one of the better one, at least for those us that like unpredictability. Who's the second best team in the AFC? I would go with the Broncos but arguments can be made for the other 4 as well. Who's the favorite in the NFC? One could legitimately go with the team with the best record (Seahawks), the hottest team (Redskins), best D (Bears) or the team that's done it before (Panthers). It was an odd year to say the least. Parity was more of a punch line than a reality. When the Clowns at 6-10 only had the 14th worse record in the league, you know there was a river of crap out there. The playoffs though didn't have any team sneak in. All the playoff bound teams have double digits in the victory column. Among the playoff elite, though, parity reigns. The difference among the playoff teams is fairly razor thin and in honesty on any given day, any team (within each Conference that is) could beat any other. I'll say this much, the media favorite will be the tragedy struck Dungy led Colts. Will Dungy and Manning finally win the big game? As they say at the NY Stock exchange past performance is no guarantee of future results.

Mighty's Season Ending Awards
BFP (Best Football Player) - Sean Alexander - Sets the season touchdown mark
MVP (Most Valuable Player) Tiki Barber - If you needed a big game, where else would you turn?
MIP (Most Improved Player) - Carson Palmer - Rose from an uncertainty to an elite
BCS (Best Comeback Story) - Steve Smith
Biggest Surprise (In a positive way)- Tie between Tampa and Chicago
Biggest Surprise (In a negative way) - Philly and Green Bay (Philly had a year from hell via injuries and an ancient Hindu curse, Green Bay was thought to be bad, but not that bad.
Dark Horse For Next Year - There is always a team hovering between 7-9 and 9-7 that looks poised to be a threat for next year's playoff. My selection is Miami who finished the season at 9-7 with 6 straight wins. If they get decent QB play all of next season, Saban's Dolphins could be a dark horse threat.


Random Thoughts that I think:
I take no satisfaction in Maurice Clarett hitting rock bottom with the arrest warrant. Its just sad that someone with wonderful athletic talents would go from nearly on top of the football world to facing jail time. It just shows that nothing should ever be taken for granted. I have no idea how Belichek on one hand could allow the drop kick extra point by Doug Flutie and on the other keep a straight face when discussing the play during his press conference. The Cavs gave the Detroit Pistons a whopping on New Years eve but nobody is beating the Pistons in a seven game series if the Pistons stay healthy. Too little credit is given to Joe Dumars for assembling that team. Interesting article in Slate that discusses why USC is over-rated and ESPN is smoking something for seemingly putting it as the best college team ever. Is it really 2006?

Farewells

1. Our fond farewell goes to QB Doug Flutie, who likely played in his last NFL game today. If you didn't see the play, it was so much fun and so funny, it's hard to think of a better send-off: Belichick sent Flutie out on a two-point conversion, but before the snap, Flutie backpedaled ten yards, took the snap and drop-kicked it through the uprights for 1 point. Then, he and the rest of the team went nuts, at a level not seen from Flutie since his Hail Mary pass in 1984 that led Boston College over Miami. One of the good guys of the NFL (and CFL) over the last two decades, a winner of three CFL Grey Cups, a true warrior and competitor. Doug Flutie, you will be missed.

2. Our not-so-fond farewell goes to Mike Tice, former head coach of the Minnesota Vikings. Smart move by team owner Zygi Wilf to remove the guy who (a) never could get a talented team to play to their level, and (b) had zero control over the Sex Boat brigade this season. The team needs a thorough house-cleaning, and Tice had to be the first to go. As much as I don't like seeing those sorry bastards make a smart move - this was a smart move. Good riddance, Mr. Tice.

Happy New Year

From all of us here at the Back Seat Drivers....


Happy New Year!!!



(For the record Gutsy is #11 and I'm #45)

Week 17 – Let’s All Go To The Playoffs

Sorry for the late picks... With a strange set of games this week, the teams that need wins, are all playing teams that are eliminated,, making for the most boring January 1st I can ever remember. As much as I love the NFL, I still wish the college teams were playing on the 1st. Anyway, the strangest twist of all, is that San Diego needs to lose for Kansas City to even have anything to play for…

So the only way to possibly predict the games and understand who’s alive, is to go by the kickoff times…

Saturday-
Denver @ SD – Denver will be resting everyone since they have the 2-seed locked up. San Diego will win just to prove that they are one of the greatest teams to not make the playoffs, and then this win somehow clinches Pittsburgh also and eliminates Kansas City.
Pick: SD

NY Giants @ Oakland- Giants need a win. Oakland needs a new defense.
Pick: Giants

Sunday – 1PM
Arizona @ Indy- Indy won’t blow this one.
Pick: Indy

Baltimore @ Cleveland- I’m really torn in this game. Baltimore is terrible on the road, but I think I should stick with what I said a month ago, when I vowed not to choose Cleveland until the end of last season (except against Pittsburgh?)
Pick: Baltimore

Buffalo @ NY Jets- Jets are vying for the #1 pick, so I’m guessing they try to lose.
Pick: Buffalo

Manwich Matchup of the Week
CAR @ Atlanta- CAR must make a playoff stand, and I think this bitter divisional rivalry is the best game on tap for the week, because Cincy and KC will be meaningless by the time it happens.
Pick: CAR

Cincy @ KC- Cincy will be playing for the 3-seed, KC will just be angry, and my guess is that Cincy WANTS the 4th-seed, so they can play a very beatable Jacksonville team next week, as opposed to playing Pittsburgh.
Pick: KC

Detroit @ Pittsburgh- Pittsburgh will have already clinched, but even a clinched team can beat the hapless Lions (sorry Jon).
Pick: Pittsburgh

Miami @ New England- Unlike the other teams, I expect New England to still continue their winning ways as they continue getting into football form. Don’t worry, Miami will still be a trendy team on the rise for next season.
Pick: New England

NO @ Tampa-Tampa needs a win to get in, and the Saints need a loss to get Reggie Bush. Everybody’s a winner!
Pick: Tampa

Seattle @ Green Bay- This game has absolutely no purpose, other than making Favre realize its time to retire.
Pick: Seattle

Sunday – 4PM
Houston @ San Fran – Ah… the great Reggie Bush Bowl on New Year’s Day. I love anarchy, so I hope Houston wins for that insane 5-way tie for the #1 pick.
Pick: Houston

Tennessee @ Jacksonville- The Jags are locked in at a #5 seed and have nothing to play for. McNair is auditioning for new suitors.
Pick: Jacksonville

Upset of the Week?
Chicago @ Minnesota- Chicago’s locked in, and will be resting their players, which is why Chicago is favored. Normally, I’d be all over the Vikings, but I think Rex Grossman will still be playing as he tries to get in playoff form.
Pick: Chicago

Washington @ Philly – Washington needs a win to get in, and Andy Reid and all the doughnuts will not be able to stop the surging Redskins.
Pick: Washington

Sunday – 8PM
St. Louis @ Dallas – I’m assuming the Cowboys are already eliminated, but they’ll play hard anyways just to prove they’re a good team.
Pick: Dallas

Last week: 7-9 (oops)
Season: 152-88
Manwich Matchup: 9-7 (Picking the Chargers in Kansas City was a big mistake…)
Upset Special: 3-13 (but not as big of a mistake as picking the Browns over the Steelers)

Instant Replay-The Worst Officiating I Have Ever Seen-Why the Sun Belt division should be disbanded

Ok, I just finished watching the UM/Nebraska game and I have to say that something has to be done with instant replay in college football. There were two questionable calls in this game that were not replayed on the outset. Shouldn't every questionable call, if a player perhaps drops the ball then it should be brought up for replay. A coach shouldn't have to call a timeout in order for the replay to be looked at. Michigan wasted 2 timeouts because the stupid fuckers couldn't look at the replay.

Last but not least, in a Music City Miracle attempt, Michigan continued to lateral the ball with no time remaining, Nebraska's players came out onto the field while there was still a play going on and of course the referees didn't call a penalty because they wanted to go home and call the game. Absolutely fucking ridiculous...the referees for this game should all be fired from the Sun Belt division whereever the fuck that is. Where is Troy University...fucking Greece? Perhaps they should use referees that have experience with instant replay.

Hot Stove Part XXIV / Trojan Horse

Troy Glaus has been one of the more underrated run producers of the last few seasons and yet, for some reason, people still fawn all over Eric Chavez and Hank Blalock when in fact Glaus is their statistical superior. Examine the career average AVG/OBP/SLG numbers for each:

Glaus - .253/.358/.501
Chavez - .275/.350/.496

Blalock - .274/.338/.471

These numbers may seem close. In fact, some people might look at Glaus' .253 average and shun him. The more telling numbers are his clear advantages in OBP and SLG over Blalock and his edge in those categories over Chavez as well. He's a run producer who will now become the AL's second-best 3B behind Alex Rodriguez (just for comparison's sake, ARod's career average AVG/OBP/SLG stats are .307/.385/.577).

Glaus now gets to go head to head with these two aforementioned 3B as he has been shipped back to the AL where he will man the hot corner for the totally redesigned Toronto Blue Jays. In exchange, the Blue Jays gave up former closer Miguel Batista, now made redundant by BJ Ryan's presence, and infielder Orlando Hudson. For the D-Backs, they get a solid defensive infielder in Hudson and another arm for a bullpen that always seems to have an injured player. For the Blue Jays, they erase the mistake of Corey Koskie, signed last off-season, and beef up their lineup with another bonafide power hitter. Their lineup now looks something like this:

RF Alex Rios

LF Frank Catalanotto
1B Lyle Overbay

CF Vernon Wells

3B Troy Glaus
DH Shea Hillenbrand
SS Russ Adams

C Gregg Zaun

2B Aaron Hill

While not nearly as good as the Yankees or Red Sox lineups, it's drastically improved now that Eric Hinske and the aforementioned Koskie are not factored into the equation. The Jays can now trade Koskie back to Minnesota, where he belongs.

The Blue Jays 2006 payroll has jumped from $40M to $80M with the additions of Glaus, Overbay, BJ Ryan and AJ Burnett. They might have succeeded in bumping the Red Sox down one spot in the AL East.

Hey, Look! A Starting Pitcher!

Whether Kevin Millwood is worth 4 years, $48 million is something that will be proven over the next, well, four years.

But it's nice to see Texas do something semi-intelligent for a change. At least they went after a solid starter for a change.

A Lump Of Coal In Dan Shanoff's Christmas Stocking

For the shameless huckstering on behalf of his employer, I would like to stick a lump of coal in Dan Shanoff's Christmas stocking. Actually, I would like to stick a lump of coal someplace else but that would be decidedly un-Christmasy so I'll just leave you with a quote from the shill-meister:

“I disagree with the people who see MNF’s move from ABC to ESPN as some “end of an era.” They ignore the ubiquity of cable TV as part of the fans’ experience today…Fans can wave good-bye to “Monday Night Football” on ABC and remember the “good ol’ days,” but it’s not like it’s the end of football memories on Monday night.”

You are absolutely a moron, Dan Shanoff; it is the end of an era. Not because people can't access ESPN with the same convenience with which they flip on ABC, but because of the cultural significance of Monday Night Football on ABC. Football rose to prominence as America's other pastime. Cosell and Meredith's rapport created the script for the play-by-play/color commentary repartee that exists today. ABC went from an afterthought as a nearly-bankrupt network to the top of the ratings for 37 years in that Monday night timeslot. All of this is very significant and only a guy like Dan Shanoff would fail to understand that. Either that or the people at ESPN added 42 cents to his paycheck in exchange for the positive spin-job. It's amazing how a little spare change can get a dancing monkey all worked up...

MMBSD: All I want for the Holidays is a QB

Well with one week to go the AFC is all but sewn up and the NFC is down to a few lucky contestants. It was a year of polarization for the NFL between the haves and have-nots. Some teams have XBOX 360s slinging their passes and some team have a steaming pile of manure (coal is expensive this year unfortunately). While there are a number of culprits (position of Mars and Jupiter, salary cap, Dan Shanoff) I posit that the QB situation is particularly bad this year. Behold a listing of teams that will probably have a new quarterback startng at the begining of next year.

AFC
Miami- I don' particularly care how many games in a row Miami has won. Gus Ferrotte is not a long term solution. For anything. Rumors have been swirling that Miami will trade for a veteran QB.

Jets- The Jets have no answer to their QB problem within 100 miles of their sports facility.

Buffalo - I thought the Republicans passed a law banning a team to be led by someone named Kelly.

Cleveland - This previous draft might go down as the worst draft ever for quarterbacks. Charlie Frye I think is the best of the bunch and I'm starting to think he doesn't have the arm strength to win a stuffed reddy bear at the carnivale let alone an NFL game. (* maybe)

Baltimore - Baltimore is pulling a New Orleans. A late season push of an otherwise dreadful season to finish at .500. If I had writen this post 18 hours earlier I would have for sure put Kyle Boller's name in the maybe pile. Two straight good games may have changed that.

Tennesse- All signs point to the Titans releasing McNair. I think he might be in the Favre category (once great QB with rapidly diminishing skills).

Texas - I think David Carr has been sacked more often than Paris. A new coach usually wants his QB and has Carr really shown any progress in his time with the Texans? (*- maybe)

Oakland - I think instead of cutting Kerry Collins, Al Davis just going to plant drugs on him and send him over the Mexican border.


NFC
Dallas - Drew Bledsoe seems to be reverting to his old ways of imitating a tackling dummy. 50-50 chance but only a 10% chance of that (* maybe)

Detroit- There's a better chance that the Lions will simply forfeit next season than Harrington or Garcia are back.

Minnesota- Very intrigueing question what Minnesota does with their situation. Brad Johnson is currently figuring out which Medicare Part D he should sign up for so I'm guessing Minnesota will need someone on the backburner. At minimum Culpepper will be out until midseason (* maybe).

Chicago - I yield to the Chicagologist of BSDs. If I had a guess Grossman will stay on as starter next year although given his history of injuries is another QB in the running?

Favre Town- The great Favre retirement watch began 2 years ago and will continue until the inevitable occurs. Certainly in the maybe category.

New Orleans - Aaron Brooks will be the last quarterback to play for the New Orleans Saints. His tenure will end in this offseason.

Tampa- What happens in Tampa and Chris Simms when Brian Griese is healthy? I recommend an announce off between their respective fathers. (* maybe)

Arizona- Which seemingly over the hill QB will Dennis Green bring in next year. I'm going with Warren Moon. Take your bets now.

St. Louis - I'm guessing Bulger will be back but who knows for the once Mighty Rams. I suppose I could throw in Philly as a team that will have a team QB from the current moment but thats probably pushing it. (* maybe)

San Fran - Has there ever been so much doubt, so quickly about a number one draft pick? Alex "Small Hands" Smith is lucky he got a lot of money last year because that is the only thing that will save him from a fate worse than death (a commute to LA). (* maybe)


Total Count - Up to 17 teams will change QBs with a certainty around 8 or so. Now thats turnover.


** Thought of the Day: Given that I was raised to revere both refs and the Mafia I can really be proud when they're interests converge. The only explanation for the Dallas v. Carolina reffing buffoonery was a convergence of Mafia and Ref gambling interest. No other explaination for how you can miss a field goal block that obvious suffices. Well maybe temporary river blindness.

In Brief...

Some things that piqued my interest this morning...

1. Wayne Chrebet retired yesterday. That's good news for the seven strands of brain matter he has left and good news for the Jets too. Now the team can end the charade and debunk the myth that Lil' Wayne was anything more than a nice white mascot for the city's racist, blue-collar fans. I hate Keyshawn but damn if he wasn't right - Chrebet was merely a flashlight who milked every ounce of "Great White Hope" attention he could get. Chrebet sucked the day Keyshawn left town.

2. I like the trade rumor of Tejada to Wrigleyville. Apparently the Cubs are offering Prior and the O's are demanding Zambrano instead. If you'd asked me two years ago, I would never have seen a Prior trade coming. Now, after two years of injuries, mediocrity, and bad PR, Prior's on the block. Who would've thunk it?

3. The Troy Glaus-to-Boston trade rumor is heating up. Boston would take Glaus and convert him to 1B while Arizona would take some prospects in return. Glaus is a good hitter and would probably enjoy playing at Fenway so if Boston can pull this off, it's a feather in their cap. I'm sure the prospects the D-Backs get won't be of particularly good quality since Boston will likely pick up the tab on the rest of Glaus' contract. My question to Arizona is why they bothered to sign Glaus last year if they knew they wouldn't compete in 2005 or 2006. What was the point of the signing? What sort of long-term organizational thinking is going on out there?

4. Reggie Sanders and Mark Grudzielanek signed with the Kansas City Royals. Sure, those contracts didn't exactly break the bank but since when have the Royals ever signed anybody? And what are the Cardinals waiting for, exactly? The NL Central is just thin enough that the Cards can still win the division with Carpenter, Mulder, and Pujols but I don't get the sense that the Cards are really trying right now...

5. I know it's not sports but permit me a Peter King moment here. NYC's transit strike is over. Transit Workers Union chief negotiatior Roger Toussaint is now as hated as MLBPA boss Donald Fehr. Amazing. In the span of four days he went from anonymous to utterly detested. No one's Q-rating has plummeted faster.

Barring any major sports developments that require me to adjourn my long weekend and log onto the blog, I'm going into a state of Deep Cover beginning at noon today.

Marketing in the Thin Air

Since baseball has only been the Hot Stove Heater on the blog, I figured I would talk about something that I think is a great marketing deal for my new hometown team, the Colorado Rockies. I am not sure if they are doing this because their ticket sales have fallen off for the year or what, but I think it is a great idea. This year the Colorado Rockies are offering something called the Rockies Pass. It is a card that is 99 dollars that enables people to get tickets for the Pavilion section 48 hours in advance for 32 games. For those of you that haven't been to Coors Field, the Pavilion section is in left field just under the scoreboard, not bad seats, especially for catching those 500 feet drives. The 32 games are basically the interdivision games with most of them primarily whole series in April, May and September. The non division games are against the Reds, Astros, Phillies, Brew Crew, Pirates, Nats and Bravos. This package is basically great for those of us who love baseball and don't mind seeing whole series. I was just wondering if any of you knew of any type of package in the MLB or basketball or any other sports. I think it is a steal, the games basically come out to about 3 dollars a game, which is 12 dollars less than market price of the ticket. I bought 2 seats for myself and my girlfriend. If anyone wants to come out Denver and see a game, let me know.

Cheers and Jeers: Extended Jail Sentence Version

Extend Jail Sentence

• 1/2 oz Jack Daniels
• 1/2 oz Southern Comfort
• 1/2 oz Gold tequila (Jose Cuervo)
• 1 splash Pineapple juice (optional)
• Ice cubes
  
  Well its been a little time since I've done some cheering and jeering since I've been busy with work, plus the flying monkey battles, and the threatening letters to the President of FOX (I'll get you Rupert Murdoch) but the show must go on so without further ado...

Jeers: To Daunte Culpepper. Who would've ever thought that Daunte would go from an MVP candidate last year to a washed up, injury riddled, maybe traded away, gee I hope I don't I have to experience an extended jail sentence type player. I mean Dante should consider trying NASCAR given how fast he managed to wreck his career.

Cheers: To the battle of the MAC quarterbacks. Ben Roethlisberger out of Miami of Ohio facing off against his long time friend and curling partner, Charlie Frye out of Akron. In recent years the mighty mini-conference of the MAC has had an incrediable record with QBs. Alongside Roethlisberger and Frye, Pennington and Leftwhich are both MAC products. Look from Bruce Gradkowski out of Toledo and probably Omar Jacobs out of Bowling Green to be drafted and add to the distinguished list of MAC alumni.

Jeers: To the continuing trends of crappy mustaches. Case in point Adam Morrison. Yes your probably the best player in the NCAA at the moment (averaging over 25 pts a game out in Gonzaga. Does anyone know if Gonzaga has a campus? I feel like there's a basketball court and a Starbucks and thats the school). Anyway if your going to grow a mustache make in regal. Give it handlebars. Or take tips from Cowher as to how to get it to make you look intimidating. I can't decide if Morrison's 'stache reminds me of a middle schooler or a fraternity hazing prank.

Cheers: Speaking of Gonzaga, Ronny Turiaf is back on the basketball court. Six months after open heart surgery Turiaf is playing in the CBA in hopes of getting back into professional basketball shape. I always liked Turiaf hard work. He reminded me of Charles Oakley. Today's funny fact , Turiaf will play for the Yakama Sun Kings which is owned by the Yakama Tribe. I think it would be fun to play for a Native American Tribe.

Jeers: David Brooks. Oh how I loathe David Brooks. His latest article over the spying scandal stated that the President gave the executive order to avoid cumbersome paperwork. I'm not going to give my opinion on the matter but avoiding cumbersome paperwork is not a good reason. I have to suffer with cumbersome paperwork, anyone associated with the government has to suffer from cumbersome paperwork and no one person should be above cumbersome paperwork. I don't like students who whine they have too much work and certainly don't like people who whine about paperwork.

Anyway speaking of the Constitution, to finish up a little Dave Barry Hits Below the Beltway

Amendment XI Citizens talking loudly into cellular phones shall be aware that all the other citizens hate them.