The Unbearable Indifference of the NBA Finals

See if I was to believe the hype you'd think that this was the greatest NBA finals matchup ever. Bird, Magic, Chamberlain and Russell will be playing or their functional equivalent. Its even possible that Bill Simmons life is on the line. Win and he will be carried around Boston in a golden liter, lose and he will be bound, gagged and dropped off in Compton. I should be excited like waking up with Kristen Bell in my bed excited to this series.

Mental Note: Don't throw her out of bed

But I'm not. Unfortunately there's no emoticon to show air masturbation so I'll just have to type more. Yes there's Kobe, the greatest player in the NBA. But outside of jumping over pits of snakes its hard to root for him. And then there's KG. Probably the most over-hyped player of his generation. Outside of his chest bumps, pounding his chest and odd penchant for snarling its hard to see when he made a dramatic difference.

Exhibit A on the type of people that chest bump/pound chest

Yes, yes KG never had help in the past but how many of the greats overcame that to win a series on a semi-regular basis? And now that KG has the help its Paul Pierce carrying the heavy load in the deciding games. And so outside of my respect but general indifference to Kobe and my ESPN/gatorade induced annoyance with KG all thats left is a cast of castoffs. Gasol, apparently spends his time off panning for gold and working on his lost in the wilderness for 2 months look. Rondo and Ray Allan spend time looking for jump shots. Lamar Odom? Really I'm going to tune in for Lamar Fucking Odom.

Nepal's first act as a Republic was to ignore Lamar Odom

Yeah yeah the uniforms say Lakers v. Celtics but this isn't Showtime v. Lunch Palers (did the Celtics of the 1980s have a nickname? What kind of assholes in the media couldn't come up with nicknames? Lazy ones thats who) In the 1980s hall of famers, all-stars, super specialists and even the occasional recovering pot addict (oh Bill Walton) roamed the court. And don't even bring in the earlier clashes. This time there are two good teams but nothing historic. So yeah I'll read the outcomes, watch the highlight reels and take my traditional dump on Bill Simmons lawn but otherwise its the unbearable indifference of the NBA finals.

Notes from The Periphery: Pazzo Calcio e Piu

Soccer-mania
Some thoughts over here in +1 GMT land. Over the weekend I attended an AC Siena game. It was an important game here in sleep Siena. If the home team didn't win they would have been demoted to Series B (read minor leagues). As such to bring out the hometown fans it was 1 euro ticket day, which given exchange rates is about 82 American dollars. They would need it as they faced SS Lazio (no really SS. I'm still not sure what that stands for but they have a really scary eagle on their flag that looks like it was stolen from the Third Reich. Also Lazio fans tend to throw flares around and give fascist salutes to one another.)

The game started under bad conditions as we got a good Midwestern/Baptist thunderstorm with the rain, wind and lightening. Luckily here in Europe soccer games aren't canceled just because people are standing in pools of water on metal stands. Despite blowing numerous good chances, the home team scored with about 5 minutes to go to get the 2-1 win. To celebrate the giocatori (players) ran around hugging, sliding on the rain soaked turf and throwing anything they could get their hands on into the stands (this included soccer balls, their shirts and their shorts. I'm still not sure how it happened but numerous players did end up running around in their underwear). Anyway moral of the story is that best celebrations here in Europe are either winning a Championship Game and not being sent to the minors.

NBA Semi-Finals
While continuing on the Lebron theme from Laz.... I can no longer go with the media as hating Lebron but merely Memento-like treatment. From Kelly Dwyer at CNNSI to Doyel at sportsline to Chris Sheridan at espn everyone was bowing to the king (well so was Rasheed Wallace after Lebron posterized him with an inhuman dunk). However wasn't it a few days ago that Lebron was ripped as being over-rated and never fufilling his hype. Nevermind his actual performance or his teams performance or his overall work but merely the score for THAT game determines how highly rated is Lebron. Its almost if everyone went on a roadtrip with Bill Walton....

Oh wait, isn't there another NBA semi-final game. Something about Utah v. San Antonio. But its so boring. Duncan v. Boozer. Who can get excited about that? Urge to write failing, urge to fall asleep rising. Better think of something else to wake myself up. Ah yes. Miss Johansson....