Have you seen the commercials on ESPN? ESPN has a new show premiering in August. The last couple of days, my jaw just hit the floor when I saw the advertisements for this show. I knew this day was coming, but I, like most of America, have feared this day.
Stephen A. Smith has his own show.
[Pause for dramatic effect].
It’s called “Quite Frankly” which makes the show sound really peaceful, when in fact that’s not what it will be like at all. In fact, I don’t think Stephen A. Smith has ever used the phrase “Quite Frankly.” I think his main argument is like a circular madlib:
“C’mon! _____[full name] is clearly the best _____[noun] at _______ [action he does well]. Did you forget about how in _____[year] when he took his team on his _____ [body part]? NOBODY wants to _____[verb: tango or dance or mess] with _____[name] when it comes to ______[what he’s best at, from above] in the ______ [sport, fully prounced i.e. National Basketball Association].”
I’m expecting that the show will consist of Stephen A. Smith yelling at a cardboard picture cutout of Tony Kornheiser, and then Stephen A. Smith proclaiming himself the victor.
I saw the commercial yesterday, too. My only hope is that, via this show, ESPN will corral Stephen A. to this time slot, and we can be a little safer watching SportsCenter.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of SC problems - I was watching last night and particularly enjoyed a NFL Live cut-in in which Trey Wingo and Sean Salisbury discussed Ricky Williams' re-introduction to the Dolphins. I like Salisbury. I think he's a very good analyst; he speaks relatively intelligently and he usually avoids the all-too-common hyperbole we see on TV. I just wish they'd cancel that miserable segment he does with John Clayton (who I also like when he's on his own) in which the two analysts yell at and insult each other for no other reason than they can.
I have to disagree on Salisbury. I think Salisbury has limited insights and in the past few years tends to go for the insults or banal pronouncements. I feel like John Clayton is always worried the others will give him a wedgie which is why he's out in Seattle. I'm a fan of Jaws. He does the best Xs and Os analysis.
ReplyDeleteOh, don't get me wrong: Jaws is best in the business. Hands down.
ReplyDeleteI should add, re Stephen A: I saw the commercial again this morning. I noticed this time that, at the very end, he does a little jiggly dance as they're cutting away. It's absolutely hilarious - he's an even worse dance than he is a commentator.
Will this new show include a dance off between Smith and polka dancer extraordinaire Skip Bayless? Bayless has to have some skill cause apparently sports reporting isn't one of them.
ReplyDeleteI have no comment on Stephen A. Smith getting a show. It only further proves my point that George Bodenheimer (President of ESPN) is the biggest fucking moron in televsion right now. Where have you gone Roone Arledge?
ReplyDelete