Showing posts with label FTB. Show all posts
Showing posts with label FTB. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 09, 2011
Tiki
On the one hand there's a certain sadness that somebody could self-destruct to the point of trying or purporting to try to get back into football. On the other hand, the key word is self-destruct as in he caused his own problems.....
Monday, February 04, 2008
One Last Time: FTB
On August 22nd, 2007, I said this:“The Giants will stink this year because, between injuries, holdouts, and an inept front office, they lack the talent it takes to win football games. But my negativity, hatred, shame, and disgust for my hometown team are gone. No more Giant self-loathing. I am dedicating myself to rooting for this team and I hope the G-Men use Tiki’s words as motivation.”
Too bad I wasn’t able to stay true to my word. The Giants surprised the hell out of me, the way I’m sure they surprised most people, including the New England Patriots. Not for a minute do I believe that my analysis of the team was wrong. They never should’ve beaten Dallas. They never should’ve beaten Green Bay. They certainly never should’ve beaten New England. But that’s all behind us now. They won the Super Bowl and I couldn’t be happier.
But you know what I’m happiest about? That I don’t have to think about the acronym “FTB” any longer. He wants to tell us that he’s happy in retirement and doesn’t have any regrets about not being on the team this year? Sure, I’ll buy that. The feeling is mutual...totally and completely mutual.
Have fun running around in women’s underwear, you worthless loser. FTB over and out.
Friday, January 18, 2008
Team Rankings
Before last week’s Divisional Playoff games, ESPN ran a Scouts Inc. feature that ranked the remaining eight playoff teams across nine categories.
For some reason, they haven’t updated it to reflect the NFL’s final four teams so I’ve gone through and done it myself:
Categories: QB-RB-REC-OL-DL-LB-DB-ST-Coach=Total
1. Patriots: 1-3-1-1-2-3-2-1-1=15
T2. Packers: 2-4-2-4-4-2-1-3-2=24
T2. Chargers: 4-1-4-2-3-1-3-2-4=24
4. Giants: 3-2-3-3-1-4-4-4-3=27
I more or less agree with the rankings here although I’d argue that the Giants have better special teams than Green Bay (Jeff Feagles is a better punter than Jon Ryan and the Giants kick and punt coverage is certainly solid). I’d also question why Mike McCarthy is being given the benefit of the doubt as a better coach, given the fact that this is only his second career playoff game.
Even still, swapping those points between New York and Green Bay only puts New York at 25 and Green Bay at 26. That doesn’t change anything in my view since the gulf between Favre (#2) and Manning (#3) is a mile wide. For that reason, I won’t quarrel with the original rankings since it’s the divide between the rankings that matters, not the rankings themselves.
For some reason, they haven’t updated it to reflect the NFL’s final four teams so I’ve gone through and done it myself:
Categories: QB-RB-REC-OL-DL-LB-DB-ST-Coach=Total
1. Patriots: 1-3-1-1-2-3-2-1-1=15
T2. Packers: 2-4-2-4-4-2-1-3-2=24
T2. Chargers: 4-1-4-2-3-1-3-2-4=24
4. Giants: 3-2-3-3-1-4-4-4-3=27
I more or less agree with the rankings here although I’d argue that the Giants have better special teams than Green Bay (Jeff Feagles is a better punter than Jon Ryan and the Giants kick and punt coverage is certainly solid). I’d also question why Mike McCarthy is being given the benefit of the doubt as a better coach, given the fact that this is only his second career playoff game.
Even still, swapping those points between New York and Green Bay only puts New York at 25 and Green Bay at 26. That doesn’t change anything in my view since the gulf between Favre (#2) and Manning (#3) is a mile wide. For that reason, I won’t quarrel with the original rankings since it’s the divide between the rankings that matters, not the rankings themselves.
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Collectivism & The NFL: Kiss My Ass
The theory of collectivism has many important lessons for the establishment of, and peaceful existence of, civil society. The idea that many groups join forces for the greater good is an ideal and that ideal can be seen in many facets of our daily lives.
In sports, however, I want collectivism as far away from me as possible. I find the timing of these two bits of information suspicious. It seems awfully odd to me that the Giants, who were leaning towards resting their starters, would do an about-face on the same day that the NFL announces that it will permit network television to simulcast the Giants-Patriots game on national television.
At this point, everyone knows that the NFL Network has been waging (and losing) a fierce battle against cable operators who refuse to add the NFL’s channel to basic cable packages. And it just so happens that the NFL Network has only had one compelling matchup all season, when it broadcast the Packers-Cowboys game late last month. Besides that game, fan demand for the NFL Network has been incredibly low – because the matchups have been so unappealing – and thus no grassroots pressure has been applied to the cable operators to budge from their position.
The Giants represent a small blip on the Patriots march to history. The Giants have nothing to play for, having claimed a playoff berth and a first round matchup against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. The Patriots are playing only for the chance to set some team and personal milestones, having locked up the #1 seed several weeks ago.
Why should the Giants risk their health and play their starters against New England? The Giants have nothing to gain and everything to lose. Beating the Patriots won’t improve their playoff standing. Preventing the Patriots from finishing an unbeaten regular season won’t receive more than a historical footnote.
How dare the NFL dictate to its teams how to best prepare for the playoffs? As it is, a Giants-Bucs playoff game will be among the most boring playoff games in NFL history. Imagine if the Giants have to play it without some of their star players? As usual, the monolithic beast that is NFL management takes no note of what is in fans’ best interest (in this case, Giants fans) and decides to co-opt fair play to earn another buck. Fuck you, NFL. If a single member of the Giants gets hurt (or if Belichick runs up the score, as he’s wont to do), it’s on your fucking heads.
FTB. FNFL.
In sports, however, I want collectivism as far away from me as possible. I find the timing of these two bits of information suspicious. It seems awfully odd to me that the Giants, who were leaning towards resting their starters, would do an about-face on the same day that the NFL announces that it will permit network television to simulcast the Giants-Patriots game on national television.
At this point, everyone knows that the NFL Network has been waging (and losing) a fierce battle against cable operators who refuse to add the NFL’s channel to basic cable packages. And it just so happens that the NFL Network has only had one compelling matchup all season, when it broadcast the Packers-Cowboys game late last month. Besides that game, fan demand for the NFL Network has been incredibly low – because the matchups have been so unappealing – and thus no grassroots pressure has been applied to the cable operators to budge from their position.
The Giants represent a small blip on the Patriots march to history. The Giants have nothing to play for, having claimed a playoff berth and a first round matchup against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. The Patriots are playing only for the chance to set some team and personal milestones, having locked up the #1 seed several weeks ago.
Why should the Giants risk their health and play their starters against New England? The Giants have nothing to gain and everything to lose. Beating the Patriots won’t improve their playoff standing. Preventing the Patriots from finishing an unbeaten regular season won’t receive more than a historical footnote.
How dare the NFL dictate to its teams how to best prepare for the playoffs? As it is, a Giants-Bucs playoff game will be among the most boring playoff games in NFL history. Imagine if the Giants have to play it without some of their star players? As usual, the monolithic beast that is NFL management takes no note of what is in fans’ best interest (in this case, Giants fans) and decides to co-opt fair play to earn another buck. Fuck you, NFL. If a single member of the Giants gets hurt (or if Belichick runs up the score, as he’s wont to do), it’s on your fucking heads.
FTB. FNFL.
Thursday, November 08, 2007
Cuz I’m In The Mood To Rant, OK?!
As if I need an excuse to invoke my inner Swearengen*; the following are things I need explained to me:
1. Dynasty? Where? If I hear one more time about how the Red Sox have a budding dynasty, I’ll declare World War III. The reflexive nature of mainstream sports media makes it such that a winner is crowned to repeat in perpetuity. The Spurs won in 2003? Then they’ll win in 2004. The Heat won in 2006? Then they’ll win in 2007. The Red Sox won in 2007? Surely nothing could ever happen that would prevent them from winning in 2008 and beyond. Right?
The Boston Red Sox won the World Series because they were the best team in baseball from start to finish in 2007. But, in case no one’s been paying attention, the last time a team repeated as World Series champions was the 2000 New York Yankees. Teams just don’t repeat in baseball anymore. Part of the reason is that the short Divisional Series makes it much harder for teams to make it through the playoffs unscathed. Part of the reason is that luxury tax and revenue sharing are providing some industrious teams the opportunity to develop and control cheap young talent for long enough to contend in short bursts (see Oakland, Cleveland, Minnesota, and Florida as examples). In short, the playoffs are a crapshoot.
So, why would they be considered a potential dynasty? Because they won a World Series a few years ago? So did the Chicago White Sox. Is it because Jon Lester was able to bounce back from cancer and pitch into the 6th inning of Game 4 of the World Series? Or is it because the team has incredible team chemistry? The Red Sox were one Cleveland Indians gut-check away (sorry Mighty & Gutsy) from going home without having their asses kissed. They’re not a perfect team in any way. After all, as everyone loves to point out about the Yankees, the Red Sox had the highest payroll of World Series winner in baseball history. And for all that money, they still only won their division by two games and needed to win three elimination games to beat the Indians.
The point is this: no one should hand the Red Sox the 2008 trophy. If they don’t repeat, they can’t even be considered a dynasty. Why are we even using the “D” word with a team that finished in third place two years after winning their first World Series in 86 years?
2. Sports Illustrated and ESPN are both spending ungodly amounts of time breaking down this weekend’s Giants-Cowbitches game. A part of the analysis was about how Eli Manning looks like he’s taken the “next step” (whatever the hell that means). Why would anyone think such a thing? Does anything in his statistical record indicate that 2007 is going better for him than 2004-2006? Let’s investigate:
First, his stats to date:
2007 – 8 Games
145-249 (Comp-Att)/ 58.2% Comp%/ 1,584 Yds/ 13 TD/ 9 INT/ 4 Fum (3 lost)/ 79.5 Passer Rating
Now his career stats prior to this season:
2004-2006 – 41 Games
690-1,276 (Comp-Att)/ 54.0% Comp%/ 8,049 Yds/ 54 TD/ 44 INT/ 21 Fum (5 lost)/ 73.2 Passer Rating
His 2007 stats look awfully close to his career numbers if you draw the 2007 numbers out over 16 games. So, where’s the maturation? Where’s this next step? How does Eli Manning look better to people in 2007? Keep in mind, this is a guy that was absolutely and totally trashed by every single person that talks about the NFL. The entire off-season was an all-Eli, all-the-time analysis of why the Giants were going to be so putrid in 2007. Well, he has been putrid. And the team’s been feasting on lousy opponents.
To put Eli’s 2007 season into context, he is the 19th ranked QB based on Passer Rating. He is a scant 1.3 points ahead of 21st-ranked Joey Harrington. So don’t tell me that Eli’s “making strides” or “taking the next step” or “almost there” because he’s not. He’s the same QB he’s always been in his career. He’s just slightly below average in a league where average QB’s only last as long as their contract enables them to play. The day Eli’s rookie contract expires is the day he ceases to be starter-worthy in the NFL.
The Giants suck for a number of reasons. Eli Manning is one of them. I can’t wait for the Giants to do their usual 2-6 routine in the second half. Then we can have another predictable ride on the merry-go-round where everyone will say that Eli sucks. And then – of course – everyone will change their minds again.
ELI SUCKS. GIANTS SUCK. Nothing more to say.
FTB.
*If anyone wants to buy me this t-shirt, I won’t say no. Damn HBO for pulling the plug on the show that taught me how to use the word “cocksucker” as a noun, a verb, an adjective, an adverb, and as part of a prepositional phrase.
The Boston Red Sox won the World Series because they were the best team in baseball from start to finish in 2007. But, in case no one’s been paying attention, the last time a team repeated as World Series champions was the 2000 New York Yankees. Teams just don’t repeat in baseball anymore. Part of the reason is that the short Divisional Series makes it much harder for teams to make it through the playoffs unscathed. Part of the reason is that luxury tax and revenue sharing are providing some industrious teams the opportunity to develop and control cheap young talent for long enough to contend in short bursts (see Oakland, Cleveland, Minnesota, and Florida as examples). In short, the playoffs are a crapshoot.
So, why would they be considered a potential dynasty? Because they won a World Series a few years ago? So did the Chicago White Sox. Is it because Jon Lester was able to bounce back from cancer and pitch into the 6th inning of Game 4 of the World Series? Or is it because the team has incredible team chemistry? The Red Sox were one Cleveland Indians gut-check away (sorry Mighty & Gutsy) from going home without having their asses kissed. They’re not a perfect team in any way. After all, as everyone loves to point out about the Yankees, the Red Sox had the highest payroll of World Series winner in baseball history. And for all that money, they still only won their division by two games and needed to win three elimination games to beat the Indians.
The point is this: no one should hand the Red Sox the 2008 trophy. If they don’t repeat, they can’t even be considered a dynasty. Why are we even using the “D” word with a team that finished in third place two years after winning their first World Series in 86 years?
2. Sports Illustrated and ESPN are both spending ungodly amounts of time breaking down this weekend’s Giants-Cowbitches game. A part of the analysis was about how Eli Manning looks like he’s taken the “next step” (whatever the hell that means). Why would anyone think such a thing? Does anything in his statistical record indicate that 2007 is going better for him than 2004-2006? Let’s investigate:
First, his stats to date:
2007 – 8 Games
145-249 (Comp-Att)/ 58.2% Comp%/ 1,584 Yds/ 13 TD/ 9 INT/ 4 Fum (3 lost)/ 79.5 Passer Rating
Now his career stats prior to this season:
2004-2006 – 41 Games
690-1,276 (Comp-Att)/ 54.0% Comp%/ 8,049 Yds/ 54 TD/ 44 INT/ 21 Fum (5 lost)/ 73.2 Passer Rating
His 2007 stats look awfully close to his career numbers if you draw the 2007 numbers out over 16 games. So, where’s the maturation? Where’s this next step? How does Eli Manning look better to people in 2007? Keep in mind, this is a guy that was absolutely and totally trashed by every single person that talks about the NFL. The entire off-season was an all-Eli, all-the-time analysis of why the Giants were going to be so putrid in 2007. Well, he has been putrid. And the team’s been feasting on lousy opponents.
To put Eli’s 2007 season into context, he is the 19th ranked QB based on Passer Rating. He is a scant 1.3 points ahead of 21st-ranked Joey Harrington. So don’t tell me that Eli’s “making strides” or “taking the next step” or “almost there” because he’s not. He’s the same QB he’s always been in his career. He’s just slightly below average in a league where average QB’s only last as long as their contract enables them to play. The day Eli’s rookie contract expires is the day he ceases to be starter-worthy in the NFL.
The Giants suck for a number of reasons. Eli Manning is one of them. I can’t wait for the Giants to do their usual 2-6 routine in the second half. Then we can have another predictable ride on the merry-go-round where everyone will say that Eli sucks. And then – of course – everyone will change their minds again.
ELI SUCKS. GIANTS SUCK. Nothing more to say.
FTB.
*If anyone wants to buy me this t-shirt, I won’t say no. Damn HBO for pulling the plug on the show that taught me how to use the word “cocksucker” as a noun, a verb, an adjective, an adverb, and as part of a prepositional phrase.
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
Football Begins...Baseball Ends
1. Football begins anew on Thursday night when the Colts host the Saints. I’m looking forward to watching Reggie Bush and Deuce McAllister run all over what might be one of the worst defenses in the NFL and I’m hoping the Saints win big in Indy. Nothing says Super Bowl hangover like getting your fannies kicked on national TV after a seriously lousy off-season. With the long list of defections from Indy’s “championship” defense, one would think the Colts are being run by Walt Jocketty of the St. Louis Cardinals.
2. Michael Strahan ended his retirement talk/contract holdout by reporting to Giants camp yesterday. In any other year I’d have been ecstatic to have the future Hall of Fame defensive end back in the fold. But after too many years of disrespectful, Tiki-like coach-killing bullshit, I can’t support Strahan’s return. Holding out because you’re supposedly on the fence about playing another season is just rubbish in my book. When you have all winter to ponder your future, you don’t suddenly decide that retirement is a real consideration on the night before training camp begins. Strahan was lazy, he didn’t want to go through the rigors of camp, and he simply decided to skip the humidity of upstate New York. What kind of leader bails on his teammates like that? I know Strahan isn’t the only one to flake out – Seattle’s Walter Jones has famously skipped camp in two of the last three years – but it irks me that in a year when so much is at stake, Strahan would decide this is the year to be sitting poolside in August.
The Giants deserve better from their marquee players. Unlike other ruthless teams like the Eagles or Patriots, the Giants take care of their veterans (probably too much). The least guys like Strahan – and Tiki before him – could do is give the same respect back.
FTB.
3. The Yanks swept Boston last week and followed it up by losing a three game series to the Tampa Bay Devil Rays. To add insult to injury, Roger Clemens left yesterday’s loss to the Mariners with an elbow strain that, at this age, could mean the end of his illustrious career. The Yanks still have the inside track on the Wild Card but they’ll have to play a lot better than they’ve played since Friday. Not that it matters anyway: any way you cut it, the Yanks would face Anaheim in the ALDS and the Angels have owned the Yankees since 2002.
4. Cubs pitcher Carlos Zambrano had harsh words for the fans at Wrigley field yesterday after yet another stinker of a performance. A quick bit of advice for Zambrano: fat assholes with bad tempers might want to keep their mouths shut after they sign huge deals and then go out and stink away what should’ve been a healthy lead in the divisional race. Don’t whine about fans booing you, not when you haven’t earned a win or pitched a quality start since July 29th.
5. Today is the 14th anniversary of a really memorable period of time in my life. After enduring some wretched Yankee seasons while in high school, I got to St. Louis as a freshman as the Yanks were in the middle of a tight race for the AL East crown. Entering play on Saturday, September 4th, 1993, the Yankees were two games behind the Toronto Blue Jays. Although it’s hard to imagine now, this was a time before the internet. That made following the Yanks’ run for their first post-season berth since 1981 a near-impossibility. I relied on my dad to read the sports section to me every morning and on my weekly subscription to The Sporting News.
On that Saturday afternoon, just 10 days into my first time away from home, 25 year-old Jim Abbott pitched a no-hitter against the Cleveland Indians. I remember feeling homesick for the first time that day, upset that I couldn’t see the no-hitter. It didn’t seem fair that all my high school friends were either in upstate New York or in Philadelphia while I was 1,000 miles away, sequestered from what was to be the first real pennant race of my life as a Yankee fan. Obviously I had no idea that a few years later the Yanks would finally win a title. At the time, it seemed like a championship was so far away and I was missing out on something special.
I bring this up because I had the pleasure of watching a replay of that game this morning while getting ready for work. It was amusing to see a young Kenny Lofton patrolling CF, a spry and agile Jim Thome playing 3B, and a much skinnier and baby-faced Manny Ramirez as the Tribe’s DH. Similarly, I liked seeing the still-in-his-prime Don Mattingly and the up-and-coming core of the dynasty with Bernie Williams in CF and Paul O’Neill in RF. It was a real joy watching that game and thinking back to my first disappointment of freshman year with greater perspective.
That’s why I love baseball so much. No matter what, a game or a season can bring you back to times in your life that you might’ve forgotten. Baseball is life.
2. Michael Strahan ended his retirement talk/contract holdout by reporting to Giants camp yesterday. In any other year I’d have been ecstatic to have the future Hall of Fame defensive end back in the fold. But after too many years of disrespectful, Tiki-like coach-killing bullshit, I can’t support Strahan’s return. Holding out because you’re supposedly on the fence about playing another season is just rubbish in my book. When you have all winter to ponder your future, you don’t suddenly decide that retirement is a real consideration on the night before training camp begins. Strahan was lazy, he didn’t want to go through the rigors of camp, and he simply decided to skip the humidity of upstate New York. What kind of leader bails on his teammates like that? I know Strahan isn’t the only one to flake out – Seattle’s Walter Jones has famously skipped camp in two of the last three years – but it irks me that in a year when so much is at stake, Strahan would decide this is the year to be sitting poolside in August.
The Giants deserve better from their marquee players. Unlike other ruthless teams like the Eagles or Patriots, the Giants take care of their veterans (probably too much). The least guys like Strahan – and Tiki before him – could do is give the same respect back.
FTB.
3. The Yanks swept Boston last week and followed it up by losing a three game series to the Tampa Bay Devil Rays. To add insult to injury, Roger Clemens left yesterday’s loss to the Mariners with an elbow strain that, at this age, could mean the end of his illustrious career. The Yanks still have the inside track on the Wild Card but they’ll have to play a lot better than they’ve played since Friday. Not that it matters anyway: any way you cut it, the Yanks would face Anaheim in the ALDS and the Angels have owned the Yankees since 2002.
4. Cubs pitcher Carlos Zambrano had harsh words for the fans at Wrigley field yesterday after yet another stinker of a performance. A quick bit of advice for Zambrano: fat assholes with bad tempers might want to keep their mouths shut after they sign huge deals and then go out and stink away what should’ve been a healthy lead in the divisional race. Don’t whine about fans booing you, not when you haven’t earned a win or pitched a quality start since July 29th.
5. Today is the 14th anniversary of a really memorable period of time in my life. After enduring some wretched Yankee seasons while in high school, I got to St. Louis as a freshman as the Yanks were in the middle of a tight race for the AL East crown. Entering play on Saturday, September 4th, 1993, the Yankees were two games behind the Toronto Blue Jays. Although it’s hard to imagine now, this was a time before the internet. That made following the Yanks’ run for their first post-season berth since 1981 a near-impossibility. I relied on my dad to read the sports section to me every morning and on my weekly subscription to The Sporting News.
On that Saturday afternoon, just 10 days into my first time away from home, 25 year-old Jim Abbott pitched a no-hitter against the Cleveland Indians. I remember feeling homesick for the first time that day, upset that I couldn’t see the no-hitter. It didn’t seem fair that all my high school friends were either in upstate New York or in Philadelphia while I was 1,000 miles away, sequestered from what was to be the first real pennant race of my life as a Yankee fan. Obviously I had no idea that a few years later the Yanks would finally win a title. At the time, it seemed like a championship was so far away and I was missing out on something special.
I bring this up because I had the pleasure of watching a replay of that game this morning while getting ready for work. It was amusing to see a young Kenny Lofton patrolling CF, a spry and agile Jim Thome playing 3B, and a much skinnier and baby-faced Manny Ramirez as the Tribe’s DH. Similarly, I liked seeing the still-in-his-prime Don Mattingly and the up-and-coming core of the dynasty with Bernie Williams in CF and Paul O’Neill in RF. It was a real joy watching that game and thinking back to my first disappointment of freshman year with greater perspective.
That’s why I love baseball so much. No matter what, a game or a season can bring you back to times in your life that you might’ve forgotten. Baseball is life.
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
FTB
When it comes to football, nothing gets me more steamed than when a coach-killing quitter talks shit from the safety of a television studio.
Just as Michael Irvin shouldn’t preach morals, just as Keyshawn Johnson shouldn’t preach selflessness, Tiki Barber shouldn’t be preaching leadership. What kind of leader – one who was the absolutely undisputed best player on his team – rips his own coach after tough losses? What kind of leader trash-talks former teammates? Tiki Barber, that’s who.
The Giants will stink this year because, between injuries, holdouts, and an inept front office, they lack the talent it takes to win football games. But my negativity, hatred, shame, and disgust for my hometown team are gone. No more Giant self-loathing. I am dedicating myself to rooting for this team and I hope the G-Men use Tiki’s words as motivation.
This is my message to the team, its coaches, and Giants fans alike: Let’s turn our backs on Tiki. He’s dead to us now. We never knew him and we’ll never speak of him again. Eli’s our guy and let’s make sure he makes Tiki look like the selfish prick he’s always been.
I’m ending this and all other NFL-related communications during the 2007 season with the acronym “FTB!” Guess what that stands for.
Just as Michael Irvin shouldn’t preach morals, just as Keyshawn Johnson shouldn’t preach selflessness, Tiki Barber shouldn’t be preaching leadership. What kind of leader – one who was the absolutely undisputed best player on his team – rips his own coach after tough losses? What kind of leader trash-talks former teammates? Tiki Barber, that’s who.
The Giants will stink this year because, between injuries, holdouts, and an inept front office, they lack the talent it takes to win football games. But my negativity, hatred, shame, and disgust for my hometown team are gone. No more Giant self-loathing. I am dedicating myself to rooting for this team and I hope the G-Men use Tiki’s words as motivation.
This is my message to the team, its coaches, and Giants fans alike: Let’s turn our backs on Tiki. He’s dead to us now. We never knew him and we’ll never speak of him again. Eli’s our guy and let’s make sure he makes Tiki look like the selfish prick he’s always been.
I’m ending this and all other NFL-related communications during the 2007 season with the acronym “FTB!” Guess what that stands for.
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