Wrestler DRAFT Rounds 3, 4

With the 12th pick in the draft, Gutsy Goldberg selects... Jake "The Snake" Roberts

Sending a box of snakes to your archrival (Macho Man Randy Savage) on his wedding day is just classic. Plus, he had one of the most memorable finishing moves, that thousand of fans would just chant for: "DDT, DDT!, DDT!..." Wikipedia describes it best ("driving an opponent's head into the mat"), and even has the origins for the DDT, which I had never heard of:

"Once during a match in his NWA days, Roberts had his opponent, the Grappler, in a front facelock, but was tripped. Roberts' opponent fell on his head, legitimately knocking him out. From that match, Roberts incorporated the move as his finisher, naming it the DDT, though instead of falling back, he stepped back before falling (which, as he explained on his DVD Pick Your Poison, was the quickest way to drive his opponent's head into the mat, and also gave the move a "snap" effect)."

I also learned the following:

"In early to mid-1991, Roberts engaged in a bitter feud with Earthquake after his 450-pound body "squashed" Damien (in actuality, it was hamburger stuffed in pantyhose with a small motor to make it look like a live snake was in the bag), and then used Damien's "carcass" to make "Quakeburgers", which he fed to on-air commentator Lord Alfred Hayes."

Ultimately, Jake "The Snake" Roberts was a bad-ass who carried around a snake to every match. Even though we all knew that wrestling was fake, Jake still would allow the snake to slither all over the opponent, which was definitely a real experience that each wrestler had to go through.
With the 13th pick in the draft, Gutsy Goldberg selects... Bill Goldberg

How could I not choose a wrestler who shares my name? In addition, he truly may be the most successful Jewish wrestler (or at least the only Jewish wrestler that we know of.) Plus, Bill Goldberg had an incredible 173 match undefeated streak to start his career!

Amazingly, Goldberg actually teamed with Bret Hart to win the Tag Team Championship (for one week)! Goldberg had some sweet "football" type moves including the "spearing" and the "jackhammer". This guy was an absolute beast who was strong as hell, take a look at this video, including catching a guy jumping at him from the top rope and just choosing to body slam him:

As for the next pick, all I have to say is... "Who's Next?!?!?"

With the next selection of the BSD Mock Wrestler Draft... Publius selections.

The Body, The Mind, and the Governing Body of Minnesota... Jesse Ventura

My first two draft picks were clear bad @asses. Stone Cold and The Undertaker flank the Governor as body guards. In the middle of the entourage, is the BODY!!

Navy Vet? Check. He served on the underwater demolition team. I have no idea what that means but it sounds bad@ss and must get you pussy. Movie star? Check. Predator!! With ARNOLD!! What??? Are all Predator stars required to serve as Governor? Wrestler? Check. Body breaker is the finishing move.

GOVERNOR!?!?! Of Minnesota? Check.

With the next selection, the Colonel chooses Nature Boy Ric Flair. Woooooo!!!!

Nature Boy has been wrestling since the dawn on the century and continues to wrestle to this day. Not any other wrestlers have that kind of longevity. He started out as one of the Four Horsemen with Arn Anderson and company and has gone up in the realms of the wrestling. Nobody could get out of his figure four leg lock (I know it really hurts from my brother trying it out on me) and nobody had man boobs than him. His entrance music of 2001 was classic and his fake blond hair was even classier.

Plus he got arrested for assaulting another person in North Carolina, so his gut slaps go outside the ring of wrestling entertainment. Mug shot attached. Here is a little montage of Slick Rick, the Living Legend, Nature Boy Ric Flair. Woooooo!!!!
With the next pick, MJ selects a real american hero, Sgt. Slaughter.

Not only was this the man that defended America's honor against the Iron Sheik, not only was he a member of the great fighting force of GI Joe (fighting Cobra/Baltimore Raves) at every turn, but he even found time to coach the Pittsburgh Steelers!

A true patriot, I salute my Sarge!

Peeps, Laz's next pick is gonna be Koko B. Ware.

Not only did he have a parrot, but he had the ghost buster, the most devastating move in all of wrestling (the razor's edge is 2nd). its a move where you pick the guy up in a suplex,
but instead of dropping back, you bring the guys head straight down into the mat. AMAZING. i remember that in wrestlemania VI he beat rick the model martel, which was awesome. but he did get his butt kicked by the big bossman, that was bad.

Mighty......Sting

So I have a confession to make. Growing up I wasn't really a fan of the WWF (now the WWE). Sure I watched it Sunday mornings but my true wrestling love was staying up Saturday Nights and watching NWA (National Wrestling Alliance). Sure it was a little Southern but the promos were a little more emotional, the characters more charismatic and the wrestling a little crisper. Later the NWA became WCW and it still was more enjoyable to me. I suppose we all have our naughty pleasures and outside of the heroine and hooveryacht flying enjoyment of NWA/WCW wrestling is it. Unfortunately all good things come to an end when Vince McMahon bought WCW. There were two wrestlers that stood out as legends of WCW: 1) Ric Flair and 2) Sting. Which is how WCW ended Flair v. Sting.

Sting started as kind of a knock off the Ultimate Warrior but the key difference was The Stinger could actually wrestle. Which allowed him from becoming a cheap icon and instead a legend. The Stinger Splash, The Stinger Death Drop and of course number two on the submission moves list...The Stinger Deathlock. Later Sting would evolve into more of a Crow/Phantom of the Opera type character which elevated Sting to one of the best wrestlers ever for his opposition to the then most popular wrestling alliance ever...The NWO. As such my next selection if for my youth and for the NWA/WCW....Sting


Mighty... Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat.

Probably not the best well known wrestler but one of best technical wrestlers of all time. He was involved in of the top two best matches/feuds of all time: Flair v. Steamboat and Macho Man v. Steamboat.

Honestly if you like wrestling at all the Macho Man v. Steamboat is considered the best WWF wrestling match ever. Steamboat was the Face's Face. In other words he is probably the only famous wrestler ever to only be a good guy. He was just too likeable. Anyway as someone that enjoys wrestling at its finest and with a head nod to history I'm going with Ricky The Dragon Steamboat
So, with MJ's 4th selection, I'm going for the blinding glare of the bling - the Million Dollar Man Ted DiBiase.

The Million Dollar Man taught guys like Barry Bonds, Donald Trump, and Mark Cuban everything they know about how to behave like a multi-millionaire douchebag and it was his nasty and arrogant streak that made him one of the greatest characters in wrestling history. Don't believe me? Read this:

"DiBiase would invite fans into the ring or to the interview platform to perform humiliating acts (such as kissing his feet) for money. One of the more infamous of these skits was when he invited a young boy onto a stage and told him if he bounced a ball 15 times in succession,
DiBiase would pay him $500. After the 14th bounce, DiBiase kicked the ball away, sending the boy home without pay."

The Million Dollar Man, together with his bodyguard Zeus, were the best bad-guy duo in wrestling and they give my four-man team the nasty edge it needs.

With my next selection, The Colonel is going to have to go with the wrestler that most looks like Bald Bull, King Kong Bundy. Not only is King Kong named after a great video game but he has got his name from a serial killer too, or as his promotion people say after Al Bundy from Married With Children. Many people feared this 6'4 444 lbs beast and only the Immortal Hulk Hogan survived his Bundy Splash, which involved running real fast into the turnbuckle and sitting on people.

This is a great video of Bundy teamed up with Big John Studd taking on then good guy, Andre the Giant and the Immortal Hulk Hogan.

Laz's last pick is Tito Santana, the "matador" of WWF.

he had the flying forearm, known as either the flying burrito, or the flying jalepeno. also, he most resembles the futurama cartoon when bender was a wrestler "a.k.a. bender the offender a.k.a. the gender bender" and in that episode, bender fought "the foreigner" who was a robot dressed as a matador and looked exactly like tito santana. Then to taunt the crowd, the robot said "i'm not from here, i have strange customs" which just pissed off the audience.

Publius... Trish Stratus
* World Wrestling Federation / Entertainment

* WWE Women's Championship (7 times)
* WWE Hardcore Championship (1 time )
* WWE Babe of the Year (2001, 2002, 2003)

Professional Wrestler and fitness model!!! Damn. That's how you round out a posse (Stone Cold, The Governing Body, and the Undertaker). dont mess with my posse.

And with the last pick in the draft... Gutsy Goldberg selects...

Hacksaw Jim Duggan - Hoooo!!!! A true patriot who often carries an American flag and has 2 X 4 with him just to prove that he can throw it high up in the air and catch it. Now, my team is complete with 2 amazing champions (Hulk Hogan and Goldberg) and I have 2 weapons to fend off competitors (Jake "The Snake" Roberts and his snake and a piece of lumber from Hacksaw Jim Huggan.)

Wrestler Draft... Rounds 1 + 2

With the 1st pick in the 2nd BSD Mock Draft Gutsy Goldberg selects...

Hulk Hogan

As if there was any doubt as to who I was selecting with the first pick, I have to take the one, the only, Hulk Hogan. Before you even read anymore, if you can quietly watch this at work, you need to watch and listen to Hulk Hogan, jamming to his theme song! If it wasn't for Hulk Hogan, no one would eat their vitamins. No one! Not only has he continually been a champion, but he has been a champion in the '80s, the '90s, and in the 21st century. He is world renowned for his stellar acting abilities, shown in Rocky III, when he picked up the dimunitive Sylvester Stallone, and he is also know for his other masterpeices such as Mr. Nanny. Hulk Hogan is probably best known for his "big boot" move, the insane ripping his shirt apart, putting his hands to his ears, pointing to the left, pointing to the right, flexing, and calling upon all the Hulkamaniacs. All you have to know, is that Hulkamania is going to last forever!
Publius: It had to be the Hulk.
The Colonel: When it comes crashing down and it hurts inside. Gotta be a man can't let it slide. I am a real American.

With the 2nd overall selection... Publius selects...
Stone Cold Steve Austin

With the Hulk a clear icon at #1, Stone Cold is exactly what I expect from a wrestler. A beer chugging, middle finger waging, foul mouthed mean SOB. Who can argue with the set on the guy who gives the entire McMahon family stunners? DAMN Austin 3:16 says "I just whooped your @ss!"

If you have any questions about this selection, shut your mouth. And that's the bottom line, 'cause Stone Cold said so!
(Odd- Jesse Ventura is the ref in the background... this is called foreshadowing)

Mighty: you forgot to mention The Beer of Choice for Stone Cold..Steveweiser. Also his finishing move the Stone Cold Stunner.....

Laz: my pick is gonna be the lean, the mean, the obscene Ultimate Warrior.

There is no wrestler who was reverred more, confused by more, or more scary than him. First, he did hold both the WWF championship and the Intercontinental title when he beat hulk hogan. also, in his first title defense, he beat Mr. Perfect and was the only person ever to escape from the perfect plex. the dude had so many screws loose it was great. then, with the rumors of his
death and all the roid rumors. so much mystery, but so awesome. just think about all the times that the warrior was getting beaten and he all of a sudden started huffing and puffing and then turned the tables on the opponent, then he punched the guy to stun them, then started bouncing off the ropes like a pissed off bull and just kept knocking the guy down. I mean, that is the epitome of a true wrestling hero. Bobby the Brain Heenan once said on the Ultimate Warrior: "This guy makes coffee nervous." and then there is the classic warrior quote "I was sent in a capsule from a place far from here , and I came here for one reason. To attack and keep coming. Not to ask , but just to give. Not to want , but just to send. Send the power of the Warrior down everyone throat in the WWF till they get sick of it. And your gonna get sick , because this freak of nature is just beginning to swell. And when I get big enough , brother , they're ain't gonna room for anybody else but me and all the Warriors , floating through the veins , and the power of the Warrior!"
check it out:

With the 4th pick the Colonel chooses Roddy Piper.

Pipers Pit was one of the best shows within a show of the WWF. Roddy Piper broke a coconut over the head of Jimmy Snuka and was always just crazy. Nobody embodied the wearing of a kilt onto the stage. Roddy Piper made me look into Scottish heritage and I can say that I participated in my first Caber Toss, ate my first haggish, watched braveheart and participated in hooliganism because of Roddy. He had a great finishing move of the sleeper hold, which could knock out any opponent so he could do whatever he wanted to them.

So, gentlemen raise your kilts and feel honored to be in the presence of Rowdy Roddy Piper.
I dunno what number pick this is because I can't count this high. What I do know is that MJ is picking Andre Roussimoff, otherwise known as Andre the Giant.

Andre was a man's man. He could pick up four chicks while wearing a speedo and still flash a toothy grin and show off his great afro. He was an absolute beast in the ring and was the consummate "immovable object." Besides the Hulkster, there might not have been a bigger wrestling celebrity in those early days. And, best of all, Andre unclogged the toilet after I dropped the biggest bomb ever. This last part might seem far-fetched but the Colonel can vouch for the accuracy of this story.












Publius: The 8th wonder of the world!! thought the giant may slip but no such luck. Great movie role (Princess Bride)- is that why you took him?? your love of princess birde??

MJ: I've never seen The Princess Bride. I simply admire a man who can pull of speedo underwear and a big 'fro and still get pussy.

The Colonel: I knew you would take him since you have personal experience with him after a dramatic episode involving the toilet in Damascus.

Publius: STORY!! Did Andre leave a floater?

MJ: Quite the contrary. I was the one who took the massive shit. He's
the one who had to go in there after me. And for the record, it was not a floater. It was 6 separate logs, all of which had the consistency of cement blocks

The Colonel: MJ and I went to a Syrian restaurant here in Denver and after having hommos and swarma, he needed to take a massive poop. Well there was only one facility in the restaurant so after he got back he had to tell the waiter that he had clogged it with all of his food from the previous two nights. The waiter could have been Andre the Giant's twin, about 7 feet tall and very large around. Andre gave him a look saying that it had to be plunged a few times and did not look too happy about it. Also there was a kid who was about 8 years old waiting outside the bathroom to use it, and i belive that the bathroom had to be cordoned off because of MJ.

Well I have returned and like the Rock I'm Just Bringing it. I have indeed gone with THE MOST ELECTRIFYING MAN IN SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT: Mighty Mike selects

The Rock AKA Dwayne Johnson
Check out videos!
More Videos!
Nobody droped promos like Rock. While he started as a heel the share charisma that radiated by the People's Champion quickly turned him into a face. What the People's Eyebrow and the People's Elbow couldn't finish the Brahma Bull would use the Rock Bottom to finish off. The Rock was involved with many great wrestling matches (including with Austin and Hulk Hogan see above). Later on the Rock would go on to star in Saturday Live as Nicotrel and an action super hero in various films. That said Can you smell what the Rock is cooking?
Publius: Not only can he "rock bottom " you, he can also help you quit smoking as Nicotrel.

Gutsy: Great picks - it was clear when we started that the 1st round would be stellar.

Anyway, I was M.I.A. as usual on a monday... so here are a couple of comments:

Andre the Giant is going to forever make me think of pooping 6 logs. Thanks MJ for the memories.

Ultimate Warrior - Laz has already seen this, but the rest of you guys have to check out this youtube clip which basically shows how INSANE he is. I love the Ultimate Warrior, if anyone knows where you can get his theme music, I would be grateful.

Round 2: Mighty Mike
I will begin with the other half of the Rock and Sock Connection: Mick Foley

Alternatively known throughout his career as Cactus Jack, Man Kind, Dude Love and Mick Foley Foley has wrestled against the best and really been the only person to have wrestled with The Rock (as the Tag Team known as the Rock and Sock Connection). He is known for two things: hilarious promos and crazy/insane/murderous falls. Probably the most famous fall in wrestling was when the Undertaker threw Foley off the top of a steel cage onto a table (see above video). But despite the hardcore matches that were his signature ( i.e.falls from the tops of the ring or onto tacks or with barbed wire bats or flaming bats) Foley became beloved for his quirky and funny promos. I mean his finishing move involved Mr.Socko (a sock that he would pull out of his pants, put on his hand, and then use as the Mandible Claw). Foley in real life is also an accomplished writer (his autobiographies remain the most popular and funniest wrestling books ever) and even has guest hosted on Air America (yes he's a Democrat). So despite the fact that its 9 AM here, I raise a toast to Mick Foley, the Hardcore Legend. And as he would say.....

Have a Nice Day!

With my next pick, MJ grabs another original star...Randy "Macho Man" Savage.

Macho Man has been a World Heavyweight Champ, an Interncontinental Champ, a member of the Mega Powers (with Hulk Hogan) and managed by two of the biggest badass ladies in wrestling history (Miss Elizabeth and Sensational Sherri Martel). He'd crush you with an elbow drop from the top rope and then stand over you with a sneer and an ""Ohhhhh yeahhhh!"

"Macho Madness is coming at ya!"
Gutsy:

Macho Man Randy Savage was the man. He specialized in high-flying aerials off the top rope and he even went on Arsenio Hall!

Plus, I actually had the pleasure of meeting Macho Man in person. It was actually really sad, because he could hardly speak. Maybe he was inebriated, or maybe he had taken too many 'roids. I even have proof of my meeting with him.

MJ: That's fantastic! I'm sad to hear that he has too much brain-fog to even speak but at least he still looks like he could crush anyone that dares step to his Machoness. Did you ask him for a Slim Jim?

Gutsy: I didn't ask him for a slim jim, I mean, he's a lot bigger than me. Here was the extent of the conversation:

Gutsy: "Macho man!"

Macho Man: "grumble grumble"

Gutsy: "Can I take a picture with you?"

Macho Man: "sdfwejguosd.. yeeeee"

******picture taken***********

Gutsy: "Thanks for the picture"

Macho man: "eeeejsf sdf j grumble grumble"

MJ: I don't care how big he is, you have to ask him for a Slim Jim. At this point, he's no longer capable of spontaneous conversation so maybe hearing the words "Slim Jim" would've kick-started a chain-reaction in his brain that would've gotten him out of his punch-drunk state.

Random factoid about Macho Man: he was a catcher in the St. Louis Cardinals and Chicago White Sox minor league systems and was a teammate of Keith Hernandez in the minors in 1971.

With my next pick, The Colonel will choose someone that means alot to me, Hillbilly Jim.

From Mudlick, Kentucky, Hillbilly Jim was a loveable character that would come into the ring with the fiddle music of "Dont go messing with a Country Boy" playing and have a little ho down in the ring. However, when the bell rang, Hillbilly became an unstoppable force that would squeeze you to death with his bear hug. Also, one of the best matches of all time was in Wrestlemania III when Hillbilly went up against King Kong Bundy with two midgets on both sides. Who doesn't like friends of the little people.

And what more can you ask for from a wrestler that comes into the ring with just overalls on and a piece of wheat in his mouth.

Mighty: Hilly Billy Jim frankly is no Hacksaw Jim Duggan.

MJ: Hacksaw was a drunkard with phony Appalachian roots. Hillbilly Jim is
the real deal and has the sister/bride to prove it.

Mighty: He actually was born in Glenn Hills, New York and won the new york state wrestling championship. Hacksaw was a true American and a great New Yorker. How dare you besmirch his proud name.....

MJ: blech - glens falls is upstate and we new yorkers don't consider anything upstate as being part of the real new york.

Publius: I once met a guy from upstate who introduced himself as "I'm Mike and I'm from updtate NY and for you NYC people that does not mean Westchester"

Macho Man and Hill Billy Jim are both totally gay. Check out this link: really, how can a man wear overalls and nothing underneath? That is close to Deliverance Style man on man action and making him squeal like a pig. Enjoy.

MJ: come on, let's be serious for a moment here. randy savage is not gay for the simple reason that he endorsed slim jim and no gay man would ever endorse such a product. hillbilly jim might be gay, but only insofar as all of those appalachian types have a general proclivity towards sodomy and incest.

Publius: he only endorses slim jims because:
a) needs $ for his dildo habit
b) they are slim (see Simpsons Gay steel workers episode)
c) he takes roids.

MJ: damn that simpsons episode, that's an air-tight argument.

but i still maintain that he doesn't have a dildo habit. gutsy said the man could barely talk so how could have enough brain function to stick something in his poop-chute?

Gutsy:

but macho man went out with and even married elizabeth! he can't be gay, because clearly married men have never become gay. boy, that really sucks when you find snakes in a box on your wedding day though. seriously.

Laz:

My next pick is Bret the Hitman Hart. First, it made me sad when I learned today that the Hitman will 50 years old in a couple months. Now, I wont hold it too much against him that he’s Canadian, but the sharpshooter move he does is the coolest. Now, the hitman had a great singles career, but he was also part of a great tag team, the Hart Foundation. His partner was his brother in law, jim the anvil neidhart. Also, his other brother in law is davey boy smith, the british bulldog. After reading up on his career, I remembered that the hitman left tag teaming after he lost to the nasty boys, remember those guys, they used to put their opponents’ noses in their armpits, it was like the bushwackers to the next power. Then the hitman went to a stellar singles career, most notably being in the first “ladder match” which is just awesome. He won the intercontinental twice and the championship. He beat yokozuna, which is not an easy task.

And in my research I just found out that he had a stroke in 2002 after a bicycle accident. So, he can beat a 500 pound sumo wrestler, but schwinns are his downfall, weird.

Publius selects: THE UNDERTAKER

In the spirit of bad @ss wrestlers (Like Stone Cold), the undertaker will give you the tombstone piledriver and you will love it. He would scare Hades himself, piledrive Charon, and f#ck Nyx.

The Undertaker's winning streak at Wrestlemania (15-0) is unparalleled in World Wrestling Federation/Entertainment history, standing currently at fifteen victories, no losses, and no draws (15-0-0). He has defeated fifteen different opponents.

With the 12th pick in the draft, Gutsy Goldberg selects...

Jake "The Snake" Roberts

Sending a box of snakes to your archrival (Macho Man Randy Savage) on his wedding day is just classic. Plus, he had one of the most memorable finishing moves, that thousand of fans would just chant for: "DDT, DDT!, DDT!..." Wikipedia describes it best ("driving an opponent's head into the mat"), and even has the origins for the DDT, which I had never heard of: "Once during a match in his NWA days, Roberts had his opponent, the Grappler, in a front facelock, but was tripped. Roberts' opponent fell on his head, legitimately knocking him out. From that match, Roberts incorporated the move as his finisher, naming it the DDT, though instead of falling back, he stepped back before falling (which, as he explained on his DVD Pick Your Poison, was the quickest way to drive his opponent's head into the mat, and also gave the move a "snap" effect)."

I also learned the following:

"In early to mid-1991, Roberts engaged in a bitter feud with Earthquake after his 450-pound body "squashed" Damien (in actuality, it was hamburger stuffed in pantyhose with a small motor to make it look like a live snake was in the bag), and then used Damien's "carcass" to make "Quakeburgers", which he fed to on-air commentator Lord Alfred Hayes." Ultimately, Jake "The Snake" Roberts was a bad-ass who carried around a snake to every match. Even though we all knew that wrestling was fake, Jake still would allow the snake to slither all over the opponent, which was definitely a real experience that each wrestler had to go through.

Is Monday Night Still Raw?

Well Gentleman... it's on. Monday begins the next draft. Raw is still war and the next draft is professional wrestlers.

The Draft order (reverse of the last time): Gutsy, Publius, Laz, The Colonel, MJ, and Mighty.

Cheers to the Colonel for the idea.

Mock Drafts are supposed to be fun. The balance between the group waiting on individual selections and the individual's schedule is difficult but Gutsy's suggestion about 3-4 hour window draft time slots works for the draft Commissioner. If work places demands on a drafter, email your selection quickly and write the funny paragraph/post picture later in the day. The Commissioner collects draft picks and posts approximately 24 hours after the round concludes.

Let's get ready to rumble!!!

Beer Draft

I'd like to thank all those who participated in the Beer Draft. The thought of stealing a great idea from KSK couldn't be passed up. The category was broad but encouraged reaching down into great micros and personally I'm going to try a few of the picks upon my next jaunt to the booze store.

Ways to narrow down the draft: fictional beers (Schmidt's Gay, Duff, etc) but that might tiresome, macro/domestic only but then we'd be fighting over Panther Piss aka Rolling Rock.

BSD:
1) Enjoys Micros: If I had another round, I'd select Alagash (maine).
2) Enjoys Belgians... not so much Germans. Imagine that, a blog mainly populated by non-Gentiles does not care for German beers??!?! Watch out, if you do not play nice those Germans will take you on vacation. We were invited... punch was served, ASK POLAND.
3) Major preference for dark beers minus MJ's insistence on drinking urine colored beer. Red Stripe was a steal in Round 5. Good call.
4) Major preference for beer with heavy alcohol content. OLE... oddly related, Gutsy has an odd fetish for 90210 girls (This may be related to drinking beer with heavy alcohol content).
5) I almost selected Dueff- from Sweden. Wait, no... Red Tick Beer. It's bold, refreshing and needs more dog.
Next Mock Draft will include 2 hour time clock so the draft does not take all week. Topics for the next draft? Thoughts? Other contributors who wish to be a part of the next draft haloscan comments and Mighty will send me your email.

The Beer Draft... Round 4 and 5

4th round

With the 19th overall selection, Gutsy Goldberg selects:

Yuengling - this beer was started in 1829 in Pennsylvania, and claims to be the oldest brewery in American, and the beer is mysteriously delicious. Granted, finding Yuengling is difficult if you're not in their "10-state service area" and Ohio is not one of the areas. Yuengling brings back fond memories of a great road trip I once took to Penn St. We went to the bar that day to watch the Ohio State game, and we ordered countless $3 PITCHERS of the sweet beer. Only on a college campus could a great beer cost so little. The beer went down easy, and even while drinking too many, it doesn't appear to cause hangover problems. This is great news for Team Gutsy Goldberg, as this selection will help penetrate the college-market, where having a lack of a hangover is a distinct advantage so that customers can rejuvenate and continue drinking more beer the moment they wake up.
MJ: yuengling is an inspired choice. i love that stuff. your 3rd and 4th rounders far upstage your first 2!

With the 20th Overall Pick:

Budweiser/Bud Light: The King of Beers.

What do you drink at the titty bar when the top shelf beer is Heineken and it costs $10? You drink Bud Light of course. Not only is Bud Light the substitute on a budget night (or when your $ bills are making it rain) it's the natural late inning set-up man. You're at home… you're with a lady, and you need to seal the deal but do not forget to tend your buzz!! A lost buzz can be the difference between getting into her pants and failing. You reach for a Bud Light because a) you can't taste anything after a night of drinking; b) its late; c) only chicks keep Amstel Light around the house. Bud Light takes to you the closer (TROJAN) with the efficiency and smile of a veteran reliever.

Billions of dollars have been spent selling the Anheuser-Busch taste. Please enjoy these blasts from the past.










Gutsy: I feel honored that MJ is not using his super-rage powers on me, and I appreciate his support of my last two selections.

on the 20th pick - I can't believe Budweiser just got taken. Makes me even more proud that I snatched up Sam Adams when I could.

suggestion for next time we have a "Mock Draft" - we could have someone pretend to be Mel Kiper Jr and have a "Big Board" . they can also pretend to interview people/beers/things that are still waiting to be selected.

Publius: Sam Adams lubes Bill Simmons butt sex.

With the 22nd pick of this draft Colonel Sanders' Jungle Rots selects Paulaner Oktoberfest.

When you think of drunken debauchery you think of Oktoberfest. And Paulaner Oktoberfest is the best selling beer at the Munchen festival. For his wedding in 1810, Ludwig I, the Crown Prince of Bavaria, commissioned all of the Munich breweries to develop a new style of beer to commemorate the occasion. The beer was so good that the party lasted for days and Oktoberfest beer was born. Only the real beer drinkers drink their beer out of a liter jug (aka a stein) instead of a pint glass. Who can't go wrong with 6 million people consuming 6 million liters of beer and driving 6 millions cars backwards on the Autobahn? So grab your leiderhosen, accordian and stein and clash them together in honor of one of the greatest beers in the land.

Also, monks are the ones who discovered it and I guess monks really know how to party it up. I guess celibacy, living in some place miles away from civilization and praying all the time causes people to drink. Who knew?
With the 23rd pick in the draft, MJ's Rage-a-Holics select Brooklyn Brown Ale.

All this back-and-forth sniping about Chicago made me realize that my hometown has something to offer in the beer department. Brooklyn's Brown Ale is a rich beer, perfect for burgers and nachos at your local sports bar. Brooklyn is a hipper, cooler, bigger, and nicer city than most in America so it stands to reason that it should have a beer that's blue-collar enough to enjoy anywhere at any time, but from a microbrew company that's eco-friendly as well. That's why I'm proud to support the beers of a company which became the first in NYC to
switch to 100% wind-generated electricity. Step 1. Drink their beer. Step 2. Fart a ton. Step 3. Farts cause more power. Step 4. More beer is produced. Step 5. Follow Step 1.

With the 24th Pick Mighty's Semi-Sobers will show some Cleveland pride and Go with the best Microbrew the Fighting Northeast Section of Ohio has to offer...The Great Lakes Brewing Company Eliot Ness Amber Lager. According to the caption this beer has crisp noble hops. I'm not sure what makes hops noble let alone crisp but I bet having Mr. Eliot Ness on the label helps a great deal. For the record there is indeed a reason why Ness is on the label as he was a safety inspector in my fair city and according to legend shot the bar where this particular micro-brew is made. How many beers can say that their name is a result of a shot up bar. Not too many I say not too many....

5th Round:

And with the 25th Pick and Mighty's last I'm going with......

Bell's Oberon Ale. Bell's located in the heart of the fightingest part of the fightingest town in the central part of michigan (Kalamazoo). Bell's has a wonderful sampler of beers. I'd recommend getting the sampler platter if you ever go to that town up North. Nonetheless the best of the best is Oberon. Only made during the summer Oberon is an American Wheat Beer (fuck the belgiums what have they done for us lately. besides they all have these huge ego issues. you really think im going to give them something else to crow about) with Saaz hops. I'm not sure what Saaz hopes are but I assume its German or Flemish or Swahali for "pure joy". So lay around on a hot summer day with Oberon. Its hard to find but if you do its definitely worth it.....

Publius: I cant believe he picked a beer from up north!!

Mighty: Its a good beer. i suppose constant losing makes one bitter and extreme....

Since it seems like this is the last round, MJ's Rage-A-Holics are picking Red Stripe.

Best beer commercials of 2005 and the great slogan "Hooray Beer" sums it all up. A tasty lager in a cool bottle that subs as a fantastic foreign object to throw at people. It's an island drink so it evokes both beach-lounging and scantily clad women. Total package and a great value for this late in the draft. Hooray beer!

Gusty: Don't forget about "Holy Moses White Ale", another great name, and great beer, at the Great Lakes Brewing Co. I will just pretend I didn't hear you rip on the whole state of Ohio. Hooray MJ for picking Red Stripe. Also cracked up when I thought someone was actually picking Schmitt's Gay. Chris Farley is hilarious.

With the 27th pick of the draft, Colonel Sanders' Jungle Rots are picking Boddington Pub Ale.

A stalwart in the British community. Not a soccer riot has begun without someone chugging down a Boddington's. Another of the widget beers, this one only pales in comparision to Guinness. For those that can't stand the taste or texture of the motor oil beers (pussies), Boddington's might be your way to go. I tend to keep a large stash of it in my refrigerator in case I feel like walking Manchester football or singing "God Save the Queen".

With the 28th Pick: Publius and his all-stars picks
Schmitts gay "If you've got a tall thirst and you're gay, reach for a cold bottle of
Schmitts gay."

J/k.

Double Bag Ale-- Long Trail Brewing Company Vermont. Vermont has many fine micros (magic hat, rock art, otter creek) but Double Bag and the Winter Ale Hibernator win my vote. Dark Amber, 7.2 %, and cows on the label.

Pick #30

Gutsy Goldberg selects...

Lindemans Framboise

Lindemans is a Belgian brewery, that makes one beer in particular called Lindemans Framboise that is a Raspberry Lambic that goes great with appetizers and desserts. The Lindemans Framboise also is a Gold Medal winner at the World Beer Championships. Most women enjoy Lambic beers because they are especially fruity, which is why this is my final selection. As Al Pacino (Tony Montana) once said in Scarface, "In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women." It is this advice that I used as the strategy for guiding my beer selections. By starting out with Sam Adams and Corona, these selections are sure to make a lot of money as they are quality beers that are widely distributed. I then was able to gain influence and power through my selections of Sam Smith and Yuengling which are beers renowned for their taste and have championship pedigree. Finally, by choosing Lindemans Framboise, I have the power to attract a multitude of women to my selection of beers. I'm also proud that I successfully utilized Tony Montana's strategy without even peddling drugs or killing anyone.

Publius: perhaps you should have selected Schmidt's Gay.

Beer Draft... Round 3

Mighty: Pick 13 (3rd Round)

First of all I object to picking twice in a row. I dont remember that in the brochure. Nonetheless I will pick the actual best beer from Belgium...Delirium Tremens. First of all its beer that has the courage to mock recovering alcoholics. Secondly I think its the beer with the highest level of alchohol. ( 8.5 to 10%) Im pretty sure its banned in like 10 states and Nova Scotia.Thirdly it comes in a huge bottle. Which is important if you want to drink a lot and not be a dripping umm vagina like lets say people that criticize the High Life. According to the Pink Elephant that inhabits its label it was named the best beer in the world in 1998. Which is in fact the hottest year in record (although 2007 is looking to break that). Finally it comes in 4 seasonal flavors. Im not sure why thats a good thing but once again Pinky the Elephant tells me to shut up and drink. Thanks Pinky.....

Editors Note: Great pick and love the pink elephant

MJ: What's with people picking stuff like Chimay and Delirium Tremens...foul-tasting scum which is meant to be served warm? Beer is supposed to be frosty and refreshing, not room-temperature with the taste of liquid fat.

Old Style is not for public consumption except for in the greater Chicagoland area. If there was an ecosystem of beers, Old Style is like the cockroach that survives nuclear winter -- NO ONE likes Old Style (except, obviously, Chicagoans).

Hitman: Spoken like a true cretin. If you can't appreciate the finest of Belgian beers - perhaps you shouldn't even be eligible for this draft!

As for the flagship label of the G. Heilemann Brewing Company: a few years ago, they ran a commercial featuring Dennis Farina, native and wonderful Chicagoan that he is, referencing Old Style as "our great beer". Indeed, it is. If you don't like it, we don't care.

Publius: If you like Old Style so much, draft it!!

With the 14th overall selection, MJ's Rage-a-Holics select Sapporo Premium Lager.

It's the best damn lager from that side of the world and the best thing about it is that every Japanese restaurant worth its fish serves it in 23 oz bottles. That's a lot of refreshment right there. For all you uncouth people who don't know of great beer, here's a picture of Japan's finest export besides sushi, the Playstation 2 and geisha girls.
Publius: More asian lager but I have to admit this is the best sushi beer. I have eaten raw fish and consumed this beer. It's a winning combination.

With the 15th overall selection, Colonel Sander's Jungle Rots select Breckenridge Brewery's Christmas Ale.

Since it is snowing outside today, I figured I would remember the winter. After skiing the slopes in a beautiful environment, Christmas Ale gives you the lack of feeling to those rubbery legs. Its 7.4% alcohol content makes any snow bunny look like Scarlett Johannsen. The happiness of the Christmas season embodies this ale. If you haven't had the opportunity to have Breckenridge Christmas Ale, I would suggest coming out, doing a few runs on the slopes and then heading to the brewery or your local establishment to get this great ale.
With the 16th overall pick in the 2007 Beer Mock Draft, Hitman's Hangovers select:

Summit Hefeweizen.

With summer and the baseball season upon us, you need a great summer beer. There is no summer beer quite like a Weiss, and nobody makes a Weiss like Summit. Served in a tall Weiss glass, with a lemon wedge (you CAN put fruit in certain beers!), a Summit Hefeweizen is the epitome of refreshment. It's your classic lead-off hitter, the beer you want to start your night right. One sip and you say "Yeah, now that's why I drink beer!" It sets the table for your clean-up hitters - oh, the delicious contrasts between your Summit, and your Bass and Chimay! A lineup for the ages, indeed...

MJ: we waited 3 hours and endured another round of soul-crushing chicago tourism blather for ANOTHER fruity beer? what's with fruiting the beer? we've been through this.

Publius: Point of clarification-- does fruiting beer include asian strippers near my Sapporo?

MJ: my man, strippers and beer were meant to go together. that is the fundamental tenet of man law. we're talking about lemon, lime, or anything else that grows on trees, shrubs, groves, or has agricultural or nutritional value.

Publius: Very well. Asian flowers are allowed in so much as they are naked. fruit garnishes are not allowed. Where is Judge Eddie Griffith?

With the 17th Overall selection, Publius and his all-stars selects:

Alaska Amber

Alaskan Amber is based on a recipe from a turn-of-the-century brewery in the Juneau area. It was voted "Best Beer in the Nation" in the 1988 Great American Beer Festival. Water, malt, hops and yeast with no adjuncts, no preservatives and no pasteurization. Our glacier-fed water originates in the 1,500 square-mile Juneau Ice Field. The malt is a rich blend of premium two-row Pale and Crystal malts. Cascade hops from the Yakima Valley and imported Czechoslovakian Saaz hops impart bittering flavors and aromas.

The good news is that global warming will increase glacier water flows and increase Alaskan Amber production. Take that Al Gore. I trust any culture that puts up with minimal/zero sunlight during the doldrums of winter. If anyone knows booze, these cultures do. For
example, Russians know Vodka, Scandinavians know Akevitt, and Alaskans know beer.

Put that in your pipeline and smoke it.

With the 18th overall selection, Gutsy Goldberg selects:

Sam Smith, particularly Sam Smith's Oatmeal Stout - It sounds like a breakfast in itself, but Oatmeal stout is where its at. Sam Smith brewery also happens to be Yorkshire's oldest brewery, founded in 1758, and uses a fermentation system involving stone squares. Plus, Sam Smith's beers are vegan products meaning that this acquisition of this beer will soon see increased sales, due to flocks of people becoming vegan to avoid the risk of cancer. Granted, I didn't realize that the other beers of the world were non-vegan products, but when there is even a possibility for a competitive advantage, you have to take it when you are in a Mock Beer Draft. Perhaps even more importantly, Sam Smith's beers have won multiple world championships. Sam Smith is providing a healthy choice, great taste, and a championship legacy that even John Wooden would be jealous of.

Beer Draft... Rounds 1 and 2

Order: Mighty, MJ, Colonel, Hitman, Publius, and Ivan... remember, once a brand name is selected you cannot select any other brews made by that label. I could not take Schlafy's Wheat since Mighty picked that label.

Mighty:
Schlafly's Pale Ale. A microbrew of Saint Louis it has the come hither taste that says I haven't sold out to South Africa like Miller as well as the label that says I piss off batshit crazy right wing basically same as Lynne Cheney but with less eye makeup Phyllis Schlafly. The beer maker Schlafly is the gay relative (son? brother? gardener?) to Phyllis and I always like giving money to something that would piss her off. Factor in the versatility of Schafly (you can relax to while grilling. You can have it with a nice classy meal. You can impress non-native Louisians with tales of how Schlafly's Pale Ale once saved a small Aborigine tribe in Papa New Guineau). Its basically the swiss army knifes of Beers.

Solid pick. I would not have used the first overall selection on it but it wouldn't have lasted as I had plans to nick during the wraparound 2nd round.

MJ: Stella Artois. American light beer sensibility with a refined Euro taste. Served in a pretentious glass that doesn't fit on a table that is already crowded with regular pint glasses. Basically it says "I'm the asshole who stands out, but in a good way." Bonus is that you get to call out a woman's name ("Gimme a Stella!") instead of sounding like a midwestern homo ("Bud please."). Only St. Pauli Girl can match Stella on this level, but that bimbo from St. Pauli tastes like crap.


Publius: Schlafy: Clearly an attempt to steal my love.

Stella!?!?! Euro Miller Lite combined with bad techno signals euro
trash to the bartender.

MJ: I don't hear no techno playing when I order my Stella, mate. Maybe that sweater is rolled too tightly around your neck?

A Young Stella drinker.

With the 3rd pick of the 2007 Beer Draft, the team of Colonel Sander's Jungle Rots picks Guinness Stout.

Since 1759, the world has been graced with this fine beer. When one thinks of Ireland, you think Guinness, potatoes, U2 and maybe fighting. No other beer represents an entire country. If there was a country of Guinness, I would definately move there. Guinness can also be used as an ingredient in one of the finest tasting stews on earth. If you walk into McGurks and order a Guinness Stew with a side of Guinness you will be delighted. Also, Guinness is the only beer that I know of that if you walk into a pub in Ireland and ask for "a pint", they will just hand you over a Guinness. The shear black motor oil look of the beer screams out, "I am a man, I will beat the shit out of anyone who fucks with me". Downing four pints of some girly beer (ie Stella and Schafly) at last call is easy. Only real alcoholics or beer minded people can down four pints of Guinness in 10 minutes. The settling of the beer, the frothy top, the nitrogen canister in the cans, these are all unique to Guinness.

Plus, I hear that Sir Alec Guinness endorses Guinness, so anyone want to say that Obi Wan is wrong?

Hitman: Auuuuggghhhh you took my pick!

Can we penalize Colonel for using the comments thread to make his official selection? I suggest he defaults the rights to Guinness and has to drink a six-pack of Natty Light before his next pick.

Colonel: I blame the craziness of Gmail. It isn't my fault you are picked a team from Texas to be in the Final Four. I think that any person picking Texas for anything should be relegated to drinking a six pack of Lone Star.

Hitman: Having selected a Texo-Canadian as my bride-to-be, I gladly accept a six-pack of Lone Star. It sure beats that Coors horse urine that you drink out in Colorado.

With the fourth pick in the 2007 Beer Mock Draft, Hitman's Hangovers select...

Bass Ale.


In a beverage world increasingly dominated by good-glove, no-hit shortstops (Heineken has a light beer?!?!) or pinch-hitting specialists (shit-eating microbrews), Bass is the clean-up hitter around which a beer lineup is formed. It's your first beer, it's the beer you drink with your meal, it's the beer you drink when you get home after a long day of work and the only sound you can hear is your pint glass crying through your cupboards: "I need a real beer, please!" Bass comes from England, a country where pubs with real pub names like "The Wolf and the Shoe" or "The Dirty Jester" fill up at 10 a.m. with people who know their brews and don't worry about minor
annoyances like slurring their words from drinking too many pints of Bass because they're already unintelligible. When you sidle up to your neighborhood bar, just say that one special word "Bass", and your barkeep will smile and nod in appreciation and recognition that you have just selected one of the most durable, respected, and feared ales in all the land.

Publius: selects...

New Belgium Abbey

Abbey, the biggest medal collector in the New Belgium portfolio, is categorized as a Belgian style "dubbel" or "Double Ale." This complex ale, along with Trippel, is very true to style of the beers brewed in Belgium where the monks produce beers to support their abbey. Dubbels tend to be darker, with a heavier malt profile. Bottle conditioning produces esters that manifest as earthy or floral tones.

It also means double the alcohol content (7.5%... you gotta love those monks),

"It's Colorado holy water. This righteous Belgian-style ale is enough to make you don a monk's habit and consider celibacy."

I'm not sold on the celibacy but I'll take beer for $200 Alex...
with the 6th pick, Gutsy Goldberg selects...

Sam Adams - makers of multiple delicious beers that also happen to be available in high volume. We're talking quality taste, as well as big money marketing power so that I can create commercials on whatever topic I desire. Plus, an added bonus is that a big defensive lineman is named after the beer, and he will be joining my front office. What other beer comes with a throw-in 380 pound defensive lineman?

with the 7th pick, Gutsy Goldberg selects...

Corona - Nothing says "summertime relaxing" like Corona. Plus, it always seems like people who drink Corona have ladies hanging all over them. Corona also creates lots of fun as there's always "that guy" who tries to get his lime in his beer, only to have the beer shoot all over himself due to "that guy" failing to fully cover the opening of the beer. With a Sam Adams and Corona combination, I've got high quality beer, the power to make silly commercials, and female groupies.

Publius: We waited this LONG FOR SAM ADAMS AND CORONA?!?!!?

It's mexican piss.

MJ: sam adams: for the wannabe pretentious boston red sox fan in all of us...except for those with balls and an ability to pronounce our "r's" and "h's" corona: no beer that requires lime is acceptable. fruit in beer violates man law. we all know this already.

Colonel: Might as well have picked Zima Light and Bill Simmons Ale.


8th Pick: Murphy's Irish Stout

Brewed in Cork since 1856, Murphy's offers the discerning stout consumer a smooth, creamy, easy-to drink alternative to other stouts. Murphy's is made with all natural ingredients, and is subject to rigorous quality controls to ensure that each pint is perfect. Murphy's claimed the Gold Medal for stout at the 2002 International Brewing awards, a true testimony of the superior taste and commitment to quality. Murphy's Irish Stout is a product obtained from wort, made from malted barley, roasted material (barley and malt), drinking water and hops, alcoholically fermented with pure culture yeast of the type Saccharomyces cerevisiae.

Guinness is a safe pick but stout drinkers know this one... and they know it well.MJ: To all you drinkers of beer that is darker than a muddy pot of sewage-- what's the appeal? Why pay for pints of black piss when you can drink the meltings of black snow on street corners?

Publius: The appeal is a little like the first time one goes to investigate the vertical smile... it's unusual, but it's part of being a man. Drinking beer with the same color as urine doesn't work for me.

With the 9th pick in the 2007 Beer Mock Draft, Hitman's Hangovers select:

Chimay Blue Ale.

If Belgian were a language, Chimay would mean "Great Fuckin' Beer" - and we all know how good Belgian beer is, so that should tell you something. Chimay simply rocks. It's delicious and it's smooth. It's the piece de resistance. A man who can appreciate a Chimay is a man indeed. Chimay isn't for your casual beer swiller: it's not for frat parties, it's not for the corner pub, and the monks who brew it are far too classy and sensible to ship their nectar to somewhere uncouth like Missouri. No, Chimay comes from beer heaven. When you're ready to respect the glory that is beer, don your Sunday best, stroll to the nearest Church of Beer, and show the world that
you belong to that elite crowd that simply knows a top-quality beer when you see it.

MJ: Hitman knocking the state of Missouri. No, we never saw that one coming. I've been to both Missouri and Illinois...honestly? Besides Chicago, Illinois looks an awful lot like Missouri, right?

Hitman: Chicago is to Missouri as Hilary Swank is to MJ. Sure, they're in the same general part of the country, but even blind men can tell them apart - and most certainly appreciate the difference.

MJ: Hillary Swank and I are both mannish. But only one of us is supposed to be. So, no, I don't think it's that easy to tell us apart. Ugliest "hot" celeb out there, that Swank.

Colonel: It is a toss up between man faces between Swank and fellow 90210 alum, Tori Spelling. I would have to give it to Swank since she played a boxer. I bet both of them drink Guinness like it is water.

MJ: Swank may drink beer but Tori looks like a wine-cooler and fruity martini sort of twat.

With the 10th pick, Colonel Sander's Jungle Rot picks Singha Lager.

While based in Thailand during the great "conflict", one of my fellow brethren had me try Singha Lager. I was delighted by its smoothness and never realized that they could make this type of beer in this area of the world. After this encounter, I raised a glass of Singhato Charlie every time I cut his ear off for my collection. Now after coming back from the "conflict" I always order a Singha with my favorite Thai dishes. Drunken Noodles was not called drunken noodles without the person cooking it drinking Singha. In order to wipe away the spiciness of the food, I just keep drinking Singha. Another positive thing about it is that it is a Malt Liquor so it has an added umpf in the way of the alcohol content. Colt 45, Nighttrain, Hurricane all taste like crap, but Singha is the way to go.

Publius: Asian Beer?!?!? Really!?!?!

With the 11th pick, the MJ Rage-a-Holics select Smithwicks Ale.

I had never had Smithwicks until last night when I had two. This is tastier than Bass, less pretentious than Sam Adams, and Ireland's best selling ale since the 1920's. The Irish know what they're doing and I trust them with my life when I'm ordering pints at a bar.

Alright with 12th pick (6th pick in round 2)

I will go with Miller High Life.

I know its not that fancy beer with foreign sounding names but it still a quality beer. First let me set the record straight when your drinking the high life your living the high life. No beer matches its brat soaking abilities. No beer is as good around the grill. No beer says smelly fraternity like the high life. What other beer is the champagne (pronounced cham pag na) of beers? Thats right, none. So put on your stained wife beater, fire up the grill, and pop open a nice ice cold brewski, The High Life Way.

Hitman: Miller High Life in the second round is the worst pick in the history of beer drafting. Sure, it was the best beer that any WU fraternity gave out in the late 90s, the same way that a gunshot to the toe beats a bullet in the head: I still wouldn't recommend it.

Mighty: such snobbery from the second city. let me guess, you're making the territorial claim that old style is better?

Colonel: I disagree. In picking the best beers you have to look at the history of drinking the beer. All of the members on this panel have a good experience living the high life. Sure it might look like cat urine, but even now, when I go to the liquor store, sometimes i feel nostalgic and give the 5 bucks for a 12 pack of the champagne of beers.

Analysis of Rounds 1 and 2
Mighty: Schalfy's-- solid pick. Not sure it deserves the first pick but solid pick. I would have nabbed it during the wrap around pick early round 2. Pale Ale-- high quality like Stifler's mom.

The High Life? The champagne of beers?!?!?! Clearly this pick will be questioned. Are you hanging out with Mike Vick??? We have 5 rounds. Spoils from NCAA challenge can be delivered in High Life.

MJ-- Stella Artois, and Smithwicks. Not a bad haul. Stella looks like piss but I'd drink Smithwicks anytime.

The Colonel: Guinness and some Thai beer. Singha I think. Thailand is for sex tourism and I love Guinness. If you have questions, please ask Gary Glitter.

Hart: Bass and Chimay. A good haul.

Publius: Abbey and Murphy's Irish Stout. OLE

Gutsy: Sam Adams and Corona. I cannot believe we waited for these picks. This isn't a Mike Vick selection, but why bother?

ESPN/Chris Berman selection ranks the top few as Hitman, Publius, and a lager split between colonel and MJ. Belgian beer vs thai beer?? I'd take Belgian but prefer the Abbey/Chimay. Needs improvement: Mighty and Gutsy.

Here you go Gutsy.

Shameless Ripping Off: The Mock Draft

Since KSK shamelessly ripped off what we shamelessly ripped off from Dailykos who shamelessly ripped it off TVguide wait where was I going with this? Oh yes. Revenge. So in conclusion it has been decided we will try the BSD first ever interactive Mock Draft and shamelessly rip of KSK. See this for an example of what I'm talking about

Topic:
Which beer would you draft?

Why?
We all like beer. We know it pretty well. Oh and revenge

How will this work?
Basically this a mock draft like any other mock draft (or for that have done fantasy sports). All you have to do is leave in the comments section (or e-mail me since I know at least everyone has my e-mail address) that you want to take part in the BSD Mock draft. Afterwards Publius will shamelessly and arbitriary create a draft order. The person whose turn it is to select will type up his witty comments on which beer he would select before e-mailing it out to the next person in line (actually come to think of it you can e-mail it out to everyone just remember only the next person in line should be sending out the next e-mail. otherwise its not a mock draft its chaos and we have enough that in the Department of Justice at the moment). In the end we will have a running commentary for beer selections. Depending on the number of people that want in I'm guessing in the end we will around 15-24 selections. Publius will judge when we have reached saturation point for comedic and beer related points before posting the entire thing.

So let me know if you would like to participate and if you have better ideas of how to pull this off without being in a chat room at the same time. (since I'm in a slightly different time zone that lets say Colonel. Or I think I am. Not sure what type of mission he's on at the moment)