Super Bowl week is a joyous time of the year for every American. It’s a time to eat heavily, drink heavily, and refuse to go to the bathroom during the commercials. It’s also a time of the year, where recently, I’ve enjoyed comparing head coaches to other fictional characters. It started in 2006, with Sgt. Slaughter (Cowher) vs. Colonel Mustard (Mike Holmgren) and continued in 2007 with McDowell’s, the dad from Coming to America (Lovey Smith). In 2008, I pointed out that Bill Belichick is a Sith Lord. In 2009, I just said that Nobody beat the Whiz (Cardinals coach Ken Whisenhunt) except on Super Bowl Sunday. And in 2010, I realized that Colts- Saints was Good Guy vs. Good guy (at least for me) and was like Hulk Hogan vs. Ultimate Warrior. In 2011, I pointed out the pure evil of James Harrison and how he is Mr. Glass from the Movie Unbreakable, who ***SPOILER ALERT***, harmed other people but had no idea he was an evil villain.
This year? I can't figure out if this "Sequel" is going to be more like Blues Brothers 2000 (where we want to pretend it never happend?) or like Terminator 2: Judgment Day (completely obliterating its quality predecessor).
Fact 1: The 2007 Super Bowl had an unprecedented event - a 16-0 team. The 2011 Super Bowl has a 9-7 Giants team.
The 2007 Super Bowl was incredibly gripping because of the historic nature of the event. The 1972 Dolphins famously went 17-0, by winning 3 playoff games after just a 14-0 season. The 16-0 and 19-0 seasons seemed mythological and almost impossible. Provided great theater... whereas this year's Pats and Giants have nothing historic on the table. Not even Belichick has the power to retroactively declare this season as an undefeated season and say "my undefeated season is inevitable."
Advantage: Blues Brothers 2000
Fact 2: The Pats brought in Chad Ochocinco to play WR... and for comedic relief!
This still is exciting. Just put a mic on him during the game. Please. And don't censor him. Let him take pictures of girls in the stands, say obnoxious things, second-guess the coaches, try to predict plays, put whopee cushions under the O-linemen before they sit down. Let him do all that stuff! You have to think outside the box if you want the sequel to trump the original... and we all know the Pats didn't get Ochocinco for his on-field performance at this point. This is the kind of out-of-the-box thinking that leads to a shape-shifting, gelataneous terminator.
Advantage: Terminator 2: Judgment Day
Fact 3: Randy Moss was in the last Super Bowl for the Patriots with a 1500 yard, 23 TD season... but not this one.
Is this like the Blues Brothers returning without John Belushi? Granted, in terms of getting the band back together, Kevin Faulk is still around. I don't think that's going to push the needle very far though.
Advantage: Blues Brothers 2000
Fact 4: The Pats have added Rob Gronkowski who had a 1300 yard, 17 TD season.
Does this mean he's John Connor from T2? Or is it Victor Cruz from the Giants (1500 yards, 9 TDs)? Both players had very special seasons and were two of the most explosive seasons in real football and in fantasy football. Of course, no one has any idea how healthy Gronkowski is. When healthy, he is absolutely impossible to cover may I just say.
Advantage: Terminator 2: Judgment Day
Fact 5: The Giants have someone on their roster named Bear Pascoe. Yes, they have a Bear as a backup TE!
Talk about trying to do anything they can to entice us to watch the sequel? Adding Bears that play football is gimmicky. This is almost like having Blues Traveler guest star during the Blues Brother 2000 movie thinking it would really entice people to see the movie.
Advantage: Blues Brothers 2000
Thus, as I have shown from these facts, it appears more likely than not that this Super Bowl will not be as exciting as the original and will probably resemble Blues Brothers 2000 more than it resembles Terminator 2: Judgment Day. I sure hope I'm wrong, because nothing puts me in a worse mood than watching a Super Bowl stinker (I'm talking to you Ravens-Giants from the year 2000!)
Game Analysis
This year, as we all know, the Giants surprisingly ended the Patriots undefeated season in the 2007-2008 NFL season. Four years later, we somehow ended up with the same two teams meeting each other, though the teams have changed in some unique ways (Giants offense much better/consistent, Patriots defense much worse) despite the stability at QB and coach.
However, the strangest thing about this rematch... is that it is exactly 4 years ago, which in the NFL, happens to mean that each time the teams faced each other during the regular season. In that 2007 season, the Giants gave the Patriots everything they could handle to try to prevent the Patriots from getting to 16-0... but the Pats prevailed 38-35 (then lost in the Super Bowl). In this 2011 season, the Patriots lost to the Giants in week 9, 24-20, behind New England turning it over 4 times (but forcing 2 TOs), to go -2 on the day.
I think this game reinforces the one thing that has been true all season with this high-scoring Pats team... (and also applied to the high-scoring Packers and Saints teams)... they have to give up some turnovers for the other team to win. The Patriots lost to the Bills in a game where they also turned it over 4 times. In the Pats only other loss this year, to the Steelers, the Pats did finish +1, but the Steelers somehow held New England to 170 passing yards, which of course was a season-low.
The critical fact for me is that the Giants almost single-handedly let 49ers TE Vernon Davis beat them in the NFC Championship game. People don't talk about TE Aaron Hernandez as much as Gronkowski, but he is nearly just as skilled and will create just as many problems. Outside of the Giants finishing +2 or +3 in the turnover department, I only see an inevitable scoreline...
Pick: Patriots 38, Giants 21
Hope it is more exciting than Blues Brothers 2000!
Showing posts with label Super Bowl Preview. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Super Bowl Preview. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Tuesday, February 01, 2011
Super Bowl Preview: Defeating Mr. Glass
Super Bowl week is a joyous time of the year for every American. It’s a time to eat heavily, drink heavily, and refuse to go to the bathroom during the commercials. It’s also a time of the year, where recently, I’ve enjoyed comparing head coaches to other fictional characters. It started in 2006, with Sgt. Slaughter (Cowher) vs. Colonel Mustard (Mike Holmgren) and continued in 2007 with McDowell’s, the dad from Coming to America (Lovey Smith). In 2008, I pointed out that Bill Belichick is a Sith Lord. In 2009, I just said that Nobody beat the Whiz (Cardinals coach Ken Whisenhunt) except on Super Bowl Sunday. And in 2010, I realized that Colts- Saints was Good Guy vs. Good guy (at least for me) and was like Hulk Hogan vs. Ultimate Warrior.
Which leads me to the most important question of this week:
When will LB James Harrison wake up and scream out, "What have I done?" and realize that he is in fact a super-villain?
James Harrison has always been a ferocious tackler. Nothing wrong with being intense and tough. HOWEVER, there is something wrong with head-hunting and being so reckless that you are injuring others all of the time with no regard for human life.
In October, things reached a new low, for Harrison, as he victimized two Cleveland Browns players in a span of 5 minutes. After being fined heavily, Harrison threatened retirement because:
"How can I continue to play this game the way that I’ve been taught to play this game since I was 10 years old?” “And now you’re telling me that everything that they’ve taught me from that time on, for the last 20-plus years, is not the way you’re supposed to play the game anymore. If that’s the case, I can’t play by those rules. You’re handicapping me."
If there was ever a closer moment to some innocent person realizing they are in fact evil, I can't think of it. Actually Harrison you're not the one being "handicapped" here, it's the players you are tackling in a dirty manner who have the most danger of being handicapped.
After wracking my brain, I rea
lized who Harrison has become... it's Mr. Glass from Unbreakable. Mr. Glass, played by Samuel L. Jackson, (***SPOILER ALERT) honestly believed he was doing good, by searching for a superhero. Of course, Mr. Glass ended up causing a number of disasters himself and became so enfatuated with his childhood fantasy of finding a superhero.... he didn't realize that he himself had become the supervillain. And just like the end of Unbreakable:
Elijah: "... And then one day I see a news report on a train accident and its sole survivor who was miraculously unharmed. And just like that, an idea blossoms into the flower of possible reality."
"A person they believed was put here to protect the rest of us. Guard us..."
...Now that we know who you are, I know who I am. I'm not a mistake! It all makes sense! In a comic, you know how you can tell who the arch-villain's going to be? He's the exact opposite of the hero. And most times they're friends, like you and me! I should've known way back when..."
Harrison should know too... in that in his efforts to be a great defensive player he has also become the "exact opposite of a hero."
Game Analysis
Pittsburgh - Offense = 14th in yards per game; Defense =2nd in yards per game
Green Bay - Offense = 9th in yards per game; Defense = 5th in yards per game
Similar games - Pittsburgh played New Orleans back in week 8 and lost 10-20. The Steelers were stopped on a goal-line stand and on a 4th-down play in Saints territory. However, the Steelers also gave up a couple of long plays to Saints receivers, which overcame an early turnover by the Saints. The Steelers also lost to New England 26-39. The score was 29-10 with 8 minutes to play before a flurry of scoring by both sides.
For Green Bay, I'm not sure if they really played a team like Pittsburgh. Granted, it's hard for me to compare teams to Pittsburgh. Perhaps the Atlanta Falcons? They lost 17-20 to the Falcons during the season but slaughtered them 48-21 during the postseason.
I think the games by Pittsburgh illustrate one thing that has been true, and was also true during Pittsburgh's Super Bowl season in 2008 (when Polamalu was healthy)... their defense is susceptible to passing teams with great WRs. Hell, the Steelers barely survived against the underdog Cardinals mainly because of WR Larry Fitzgerald. I don't really believe that the Steelers are going to be able to prepare for the size and speed of Greg Jennings... AND the other WRs which are all top-notch. This is probably the best bunch of WRs the Steelers are facing all season.
All in all though, I'm very excited about this Super Bowl. Green Bay may have been the 6th seed, but this has been a fantastic team the last couple of seasons and they are absolutely stacked on both sides of the ball. Obviously, the Steelers are a well-oiled machine. This game can go either way based on a number of different factors, but I believe that the skill of the Green Bay WRs will result in the Packers' victory. Despite my analysis, the people at EA sports ran their simulation on Madden, and sadly Mr. Glass triumphs there.
Final Prediction
Green Bay 24, Steelers 17; Mr. Glass will hopefully not be celebrating this year. I hope Madden is wrong!
Finally, A Plea for Another Federal Holiday (first posted this in 2006)
Finally, I’m still shocked out how no political party in America has begun a campaign to make the day after the Super Bowl a national holiday. Honestly, this has to be one of the least productive days of the year, as most people on the East Coast are either tired, hungover, or have indigestion and bowel problems. You could even just call this day “American New Year’s,” and then not change the year until after the Super Bowl. This would ensure that when someone says “the 2005 Super Bowl” they were referring to Seattle-Pittsburgh and not New England-Philadelphia. This would also reduce the amount of violence in America, because no longer would disagreements occur about which specific year belongs to which specific NFL season.
Last week: 2-0
Playoffs: 6-4 (that sucks, I hope I can nail this super bowl).
Super Bowl prediction record (since 2005): 4-2 (missed the Saints and the Giants)
Which leads me to the most important question of this week:
When will LB James Harrison wake up and scream out, "What have I done?" and realize that he is in fact a super-villain?
James Harrison has always been a ferocious tackler. Nothing wrong with being intense and tough. HOWEVER, there is something wrong with head-hunting and being so reckless that you are injuring others all of the time with no regard for human life.
In October, things reached a new low, for Harrison, as he victimized two Cleveland Browns players in a span of 5 minutes. After being fined heavily, Harrison threatened retirement because:
"How can I continue to play this game the way that I’ve been taught to play this game since I was 10 years old?” “And now you’re telling me that everything that they’ve taught me from that time on, for the last 20-plus years, is not the way you’re supposed to play the game anymore. If that’s the case, I can’t play by those rules. You’re handicapping me."
If there was ever a closer moment to some innocent person realizing they are in fact evil, I can't think of it. Actually Harrison you're not the one being "handicapped" here, it's the players you are tackling in a dirty manner who have the most danger of being handicapped.
After wracking my brain, I rea
lized who Harrison has become... it's Mr. Glass from Unbreakable. Mr. Glass, played by Samuel L. Jackson, (***SPOILER ALERT) honestly believed he was doing good, by searching for a superhero. Of course, Mr. Glass ended up causing a number of disasters himself and became so enfatuated with his childhood fantasy of finding a superhero.... he didn't realize that he himself had become the supervillain. And just like the end of Unbreakable:Elijah: "... And then one day I see a news report on a train accident and its sole survivor who was miraculously unharmed. And just like that, an idea blossoms into the flower of possible reality."
"A person they believed was put here to protect the rest of us. Guard us..."
...Now that we know who you are, I know who I am. I'm not a mistake! It all makes sense! In a comic, you know how you can tell who the arch-villain's going to be? He's the exact opposite of the hero. And most times they're friends, like you and me! I should've known way back when..."
Harrison should know too... in that in his efforts to be a great defensive player he has also become the "exact opposite of a hero."
Game Analysis
Pittsburgh - Offense = 14th in yards per game; Defense =2nd in yards per game
Green Bay - Offense = 9th in yards per game; Defense = 5th in yards per game
Similar games - Pittsburgh played New Orleans back in week 8 and lost 10-20. The Steelers were stopped on a goal-line stand and on a 4th-down play in Saints territory. However, the Steelers also gave up a couple of long plays to Saints receivers, which overcame an early turnover by the Saints. The Steelers also lost to New England 26-39. The score was 29-10 with 8 minutes to play before a flurry of scoring by both sides.
For Green Bay, I'm not sure if they really played a team like Pittsburgh. Granted, it's hard for me to compare teams to Pittsburgh. Perhaps the Atlanta Falcons? They lost 17-20 to the Falcons during the season but slaughtered them 48-21 during the postseason.
I think the games by Pittsburgh illustrate one thing that has been true, and was also true during Pittsburgh's Super Bowl season in 2008 (when Polamalu was healthy)... their defense is susceptible to passing teams with great WRs. Hell, the Steelers barely survived against the underdog Cardinals mainly because of WR Larry Fitzgerald. I don't really believe that the Steelers are going to be able to prepare for the size and speed of Greg Jennings... AND the other WRs which are all top-notch. This is probably the best bunch of WRs the Steelers are facing all season.
All in all though, I'm very excited about this Super Bowl. Green Bay may have been the 6th seed, but this has been a fantastic team the last couple of seasons and they are absolutely stacked on both sides of the ball. Obviously, the Steelers are a well-oiled machine. This game can go either way based on a number of different factors, but I believe that the skill of the Green Bay WRs will result in the Packers' victory. Despite my analysis, the people at EA sports ran their simulation on Madden, and sadly Mr. Glass triumphs there.
Final Prediction
Green Bay 24, Steelers 17; Mr. Glass will hopefully not be celebrating this year. I hope Madden is wrong!
Finally, A Plea for Another Federal Holiday (first posted this in 2006)
Finally, I’m still shocked out how no political party in America has begun a campaign to make the day after the Super Bowl a national holiday. Honestly, this has to be one of the least productive days of the year, as most people on the East Coast are either tired, hungover, or have indigestion and bowel problems. You could even just call this day “American New Year’s,” and then not change the year until after the Super Bowl. This would ensure that when someone says “the 2005 Super Bowl” they were referring to Seattle-Pittsburgh and not New England-Philadelphia. This would also reduce the amount of violence in America, because no longer would disagreements occur about which specific year belongs to which specific NFL season.
Last week: 2-0
Playoffs: 6-4 (that sucks, I hope I can nail this super bowl).
Super Bowl prediction record (since 2005): 4-2 (missed the Saints and the Giants)
Wednesday, February 03, 2010
Super Bowl Preview: Good Guys vs. Good Guys
I realize there are some people out there who hate and despise the Colts, such as Patriots fans and the AFC South opponents. I also realize there are some people out there who hate the Saints, such as maybe some of the opponents from the NFC South.
However, I believe this Super Bowl is as close to two teams representing "good guys," than any other Super Bowl. There's no polarizing figure on either team to root against. It's also hard to root against a mid-western city and a city that's been pummeled by a natural disaster.
So who are these two "good guys?" Is this a Batman vs. Superman situation? No, the Colts are good, but they aren't as good as Superman. And it's not like they have some gimmicky weakness like kryptonite.
Is this a Transformers vs. Gobots situation? No, the Colts are good, but they won't dominate the way Transformers dominated the market and
the TV ratings in comparison to Gobots.
I alluded during conference championship weekend the following:
"if quarterbacks are WWE wrestlers, Drew Brees basically survived a "retirement match" last week as Kurt Warner lost and is now contemplating it. It would only be fitting for Brees to win 2 consecutive "retirement matches" in the playoffs, force Favre to contemplate retirement, then beat Peyton Manning in a Ladder Match next week, then come back next season wearing Ultimate Warrior facepaint."
So, the analogy for this Super Bowl is simple... it's Hulk Hogan vs. Ultimate Warrior in Wrestlemania VI! Drew Brees is the Ultimate Warrior looking for his first championship. Peyton Manning is the older, established champion, who is also the highest paid athlete in his sport. As stated on the WWE website, the fans in Toronto "couldn't seem to make up their minds on which Superstar to root for." I think the fans in Miami won't be able to make up their minds either. Are they Hulkamaniacs? Are they part of the Warrior Nation? I have no idea. They have no idea. And that's what makes this Super Bowl so fascinating, is that these are two teams I want to root for, and more importantly, two of the best QBs to ever square off in the Super Bowl with two of the highest scoring offenses to ever meet in the Super Bowl.
By my unofficial statistical lookup on pro football reference, the top QB ratings for 2 QBs entering the Super Bowl are:
1984 - Montana (102.9) vs. Marino (108.9) = 105.9 average
2010 - Brees (109.6) vs. Manning (99.9) = 104.8 average
2004 - Brady (92.6) vs. McNabb (104.7) = 98.7 average
(NOTE: The QB Rating doesn't seem to score well on the older QBs, who didn't have nearly the same aount of attempts, as both Bradshaw vs. Staubach matchups only average 84.8 and 83.25, which is below many of the other modern era matchups).
By my unofficial statistical lookup on pro football reference, the top scoring matchups entering the Super Bowl are:
1984 - 49ers (29.7ppg) vs. Dolphins (32.1)= 61.8 total ppg
1991 - Redskins (30.3) vs. Bills (28.6) = 58.9 total ppg
1998 - Broncos (31.3) vs. Falcons (27.6) = 58.9 total ppg
2010 - Saints (31.9) vs. Colts (26.0) = 57.9 total ppg
NOTE: Steelers vs. Cowboys from 1975 only had a total of 51.6 ppg (5th and 8th-ranked offenses), and 1978 Steelers-Cowboys only had 46.3ppg. Again, a different era, but these two were 5th and 1st-ranked scoring offenses)
Interestingly... all of the of the other games on the list above ended up being blowouts by the favored team. In this case? The Colts are 5 point favorites, but as everyone in America knows, Dwight Freeney isn't playing, so all bets are up in the air I suppose? Which means I'm still excited about the possibility of seeing a 42-35 Super Bowl!
Game Analysis
Datapoint #1) Defenses
The Colts have a better defense than the Saints (letting up only 307 points this season compared to the 341 by the Saints). The Colts have a pass defense giving up 213 yards per game. The Saints give up 235 yards per game. Again, nothing substantial by statistics, but another slight edge for the Colts. However, most people in America will point out that the Colts defense is indeed better than the Saints, and that could be instrumental if this game comes down to getting 2 stops instead of just 1 stop.
Advantage: Colts
Datapoint #2) Common Opponents in 2009
Both the Colts and Saints played the AFC East. The Colts went 2-2 (but they didn't try against the Jets and Bills). So really they were 2-0, with a lucky 1-point win against the Patriots.
The Saints also went 2-0 against the Dolphins and Pats, and memorably destroyed the Pats on a Monday Night.
The Colts and Saints also both beat the Rams (though the Saints barely did it).
So, in the end... nothing of note here really on "Common Opponents."
Advantage: Even
Datapoint #3) Computer Simulations
According to a simulation on Madden, the Saints will actually win the Super Bowl 35-31 and the Ultimate Warrior will be victorious yet again.
Advantage: Saints
Datapoint #4) Double Agent
You want some bad blood between these teams?... I got it right here! Two words for Saints fans: Jason David!
Jason David was a cornerback on the Colts 2006 Super Bowl team and then signed for big money to the Saints. He got to the Saints... and all of a sudden the Saints realized they had just been completely burned, and that Jason David was not contributing to the Colts wins at all... as he got burned by multiple big plays and ended up getting waived after just two seasons.
To make things even more insulting to the Saints, the Colts actually worked out Jason David on January 28, 2010, and according to this rumor, Jason David still has "plenty of knowledge" of the Saints defense. If the Colts win, and the win hinges on information given by Jason David, Jason David should go down as one of the greatest Colts ever... for helping winning a championship, then helping another team lose games, and eventually losing a Super Bowl to his "real" team, the Colts. Basically, Jason David is the ultimate double agent as clearly his mission was to collect information for a possible Super Bowl matchup years down the road.
Advantage: Colts
Datapoint #5) The OCNN
The Ocho Cinco News Network, with Ocho Cinco, Chris Cooley, and Ray Rice, is reporting that the Saints may blitz this weekend.
Advantage: Saints
Datapoint #6) The Ladder Match
I think Drew Brees has a low chance of getting a ladder onto the field and being able to jump off the ladder onto Peyton Manning.
Advantage: Colts
Final Prediction
By my count, this game is truly a tossup. Anything can and will happen. I just can't wait to see if Drew Brees can pull off the unthinkable and topple Warner, then Favre, then Manning. In the end though, I think one has to go with the better defense. While my heart will be rooting for Drew Brees and the Saints, my brain keeps saying that the Colts will prove victorious.
Pick: Colts 42, Saints 35
Championship Week: 2-0
Playoffs: 5-5 (terrible, I know)
However, I believe this Super Bowl is as close to two teams representing "good guys," than any other Super Bowl. There's no polarizing figure on either team to root against. It's also hard to root against a mid-western city and a city that's been pummeled by a natural disaster.
So who are these two "good guys?" Is this a Batman vs. Superman situation? No, the Colts are good, but they aren't as good as Superman. And it's not like they have some gimmicky weakness like kryptonite.
Is this a Transformers vs. Gobots situation? No, the Colts are good, but they won't dominate the way Transformers dominated the market and
the TV ratings in comparison to Gobots.I alluded during conference championship weekend the following:
"if quarterbacks are WWE wrestlers, Drew Brees basically survived a "retirement match" last week as Kurt Warner lost and is now contemplating it. It would only be fitting for Brees to win 2 consecutive "retirement matches" in the playoffs, force Favre to contemplate retirement, then beat Peyton Manning in a Ladder Match next week, then come back next season wearing Ultimate Warrior facepaint."
So, the analogy for this Super Bowl is simple... it's Hulk Hogan vs. Ultimate Warrior in Wrestlemania VI! Drew Brees is the Ultimate Warrior looking for his first championship. Peyton Manning is the older, established champion, who is also the highest paid athlete in his sport. As stated on the WWE website, the fans in Toronto "couldn't seem to make up their minds on which Superstar to root for." I think the fans in Miami won't be able to make up their minds either. Are they Hulkamaniacs? Are they part of the Warrior Nation? I have no idea. They have no idea. And that's what makes this Super Bowl so fascinating, is that these are two teams I want to root for, and more importantly, two of the best QBs to ever square off in the Super Bowl with two of the highest scoring offenses to ever meet in the Super Bowl.
By my unofficial statistical lookup on pro football reference, the top QB ratings for 2 QBs entering the Super Bowl are:
1984 - Montana (102.9) vs. Marino (108.9) = 105.9 average
2010 - Brees (109.6) vs. Manning (99.9) = 104.8 average
2004 - Brady (92.6) vs. McNabb (104.7) = 98.7 average
(NOTE: The QB Rating doesn't seem to score well on the older QBs, who didn't have nearly the same aount of attempts, as both Bradshaw vs. Staubach matchups only average 84.8 and 83.25, which is below many of the other modern era matchups).
By my unofficial statistical lookup on pro football reference, the top scoring matchups entering the Super Bowl are:
1984 - 49ers (29.7ppg) vs. Dolphins (32.1)= 61.8 total ppg
1991 - Redskins (30.3) vs. Bills (28.6) = 58.9 total ppg
1998 - Broncos (31.3) vs. Falcons (27.6) = 58.9 total ppg
2010 - Saints (31.9) vs. Colts (26.0) = 57.9 total ppg
NOTE: Steelers vs. Cowboys from 1975 only had a total of 51.6 ppg (5th and 8th-ranked offenses), and 1978 Steelers-Cowboys only had 46.3ppg. Again, a different era, but these two were 5th and 1st-ranked scoring offenses)
Interestingly... all of the of the other games on the list above ended up being blowouts by the favored team. In this case? The Colts are 5 point favorites, but as everyone in America knows, Dwight Freeney isn't playing, so all bets are up in the air I suppose? Which means I'm still excited about the possibility of seeing a 42-35 Super Bowl!
Game Analysis
Datapoint #1) Defenses
The Colts have a better defense than the Saints (letting up only 307 points this season compared to the 341 by the Saints). The Colts have a pass defense giving up 213 yards per game. The Saints give up 235 yards per game. Again, nothing substantial by statistics, but another slight edge for the Colts. However, most people in America will point out that the Colts defense is indeed better than the Saints, and that could be instrumental if this game comes down to getting 2 stops instead of just 1 stop.
Advantage: Colts
Datapoint #2) Common Opponents in 2009
Both the Colts and Saints played the AFC East. The Colts went 2-2 (but they didn't try against the Jets and Bills). So really they were 2-0, with a lucky 1-point win against the Patriots.
The Saints also went 2-0 against the Dolphins and Pats, and memorably destroyed the Pats on a Monday Night.
The Colts and Saints also both beat the Rams (though the Saints barely did it).
So, in the end... nothing of note here really on "Common Opponents."
Advantage: Even
Datapoint #3) Computer Simulations
According to a simulation on Madden, the Saints will actually win the Super Bowl 35-31 and the Ultimate Warrior will be victorious yet again.
Advantage: Saints
Datapoint #4) Double Agent
You want some bad blood between these teams?... I got it right here! Two words for Saints fans: Jason David!
Jason David was a cornerback on the Colts 2006 Super Bowl team and then signed for big money to the Saints. He got to the Saints... and all of a sudden the Saints realized they had just been completely burned, and that Jason David was not contributing to the Colts wins at all... as he got burned by multiple big plays and ended up getting waived after just two seasons.
To make things even more insulting to the Saints, the Colts actually worked out Jason David on January 28, 2010, and according to this rumor, Jason David still has "plenty of knowledge" of the Saints defense. If the Colts win, and the win hinges on information given by Jason David, Jason David should go down as one of the greatest Colts ever... for helping winning a championship, then helping another team lose games, and eventually losing a Super Bowl to his "real" team, the Colts. Basically, Jason David is the ultimate double agent as clearly his mission was to collect information for a possible Super Bowl matchup years down the road.
Advantage: Colts
Datapoint #5) The OCNN
The Ocho Cinco News Network, with Ocho Cinco, Chris Cooley, and Ray Rice, is reporting that the Saints may blitz this weekend.
Advantage: Saints
Datapoint #6) The Ladder Match
I think Drew Brees has a low chance of getting a ladder onto the field and being able to jump off the ladder onto Peyton Manning.
Advantage: Colts
Final Prediction
By my count, this game is truly a tossup. Anything can and will happen. I just can't wait to see if Drew Brees can pull off the unthinkable and topple Warner, then Favre, then Manning. In the end though, I think one has to go with the better defense. While my heart will be rooting for Drew Brees and the Saints, my brain keeps saying that the Colts will prove victorious.
Pick: Colts 42, Saints 35
Championship Week: 2-0
Playoffs: 5-5 (terrible, I know)
Friday, February 01, 2008
Cheers and Jeers: Mister Wu Edition
Ingredients:
- 1 oz Vodka
- 2 oz Bourbon
- 3 oz Lemon-lime soda
- 1 dash Orange juice
9:00 AM Chris Wallace of Fox Sunday's News and Blame Liberals Show is joined by several varieties of conservative pontificators as well Terry Bradshow and Jimmy Johnson. After a half hour of discussions its agreed that a loss by New England will be a sign that the Democrats hate America. Any win by New England will be a sign that John Mccain is Ronald Reagan reincarnated.
11:00 AM Millions of viewers will be driven insane when they mistakenly flip on Ryan Seacrest trying to discuss football. Our nation's healthcare system will be once again be destroyed by Hollywood.
1:00 PM Gutsy will make the fatal mistake of inviting a Duke fan to his Super Bowl party. There are few truisms in the world: 1) never get in a land war in Asia, 2) never get in with Sicilian when death is on the line and 3) Duke fans are the functional equivalent of locusts but with less hygiene.
3:00 PM Hour 345 of pre-game coverage. Bradshaw tries to run for freedom but is shot with a tranquilizer gun before he can escape.
4:30 Mighty begins the official start to the Super Bowl by the lighting of the grill and the 4 shots of Bourbon.
File photo of Mighty in quiet contemplation of how to make fire4:32 Mighty decides that four shots of Bourbon was a big mistake
6:34 Kickoff. Hooray.
6:35 First Super Bowl Commercial. It's not funny. MJ sets fire to Boston in protest
6:43 First New England Touchdown. MJ introduces David Ortiz to his boomstick in protest
Listen up Papi, this is my Boomstick
Title of Simmons and Kings new book
And with that a little cheering and jeering.....
Cheers: To Voting. Well not primary bullshit but for the 100 Sexiest Women at FHM
Cheers: To National Signing Day. For those that aren't aware about the subcultural that is College Football recruiting....lets just say it makes the NFL draft seem rational and sane. Thankfully it'll all be over on Wednesday. Person to watch is Terrel Pryor who tOSU and West Fucking Virginia North have been fighting over.
Jeers: To a nudist flight. Nothing personal against East Germans but I assume that flying is uncomfortable enough as is without having to see some old dudes junk.
Jeers: To NBA trades. Bitch all you want Kidd. You and your 20-30 odd million dollar a year contract are going to have a hard time moving. I swear 40% of all NBA coverage is on rumored trades. (FYI the other 40% is on NBA games and the final 20% is on the lack of quality Nacho Cheese at NBA arenas).
Sean Taylor Memorial Beatdown:
Goes to Kansas State beating in-state rival Kansas 84-75 thus breaking a 24 year old losing streak. Which is a long time according to most polls. Uber phenom Michael Beasley poured in 25 points as he has begun to solidify his case for the number 1 pick in next year's NBA draft.
And Your C&J gal of the week is Alessandra Ambrosio who likes Pink the color (not the singer)
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Super bowl Preview: Is Bill Belichick a Sith Lord?
Super Bowl week is a joyous time of the year for every American. It’s a time to eat heavily, drink heavily, and refuse to go to the bathroom during the commercials. It’s also a time of the year, where recently, I’ve enjoyed comparing head coaches to other fictional characters. It started in 2006, with Sgt. Slaughter (Cowher) vs. Colonel Mustard (Mike Holmgren) and continued in 2007 with McDowell’s, the dad from Coming to America (Lovey Smith).
Which leads me to the most important question of this week: Is New England Patriots Coach Bill Belichick actually a Sith Lord??? I actually pointed this out briefly, in the comments of a post back in March 2007. I probably was not the first to make the analogy, but since then, other stories have actually published, accusing Belichick of being a Sith Lord, including a quote by Frank of “Frank TV” from this past December. Thus, the time has come to analyze, once and for all, whether Belichick is indeed the Sith Lord that Yoda has been fearing. I’ve devised some important questions that will help us in this determination:
1) Does he ever pull a hood over his head when he gets angry?
Yes, see the picture. He apparently wears a hood 95% of the time, in case he ever decides to get angry and kill children.
2) Sith travel in twos – a master and an apprentice. Does Belichick travel in two?
Yes, he used to follow his father around, who was coach of Navy. Then, Belichick’s first true master was Bill Parcells. Belichick has then had a number of apprentices since becoming a master including Charlie Weis, Eric Mangini, and current offensive coordinator Josh McDaniels.
3) Sith Lord, Emperor Palpatine, once said, "The Sith rely on their passion for their strength. They think inwards only about themselves." Does Belichick only think about himself?
Remember when Belichick was coach of the Jets for a day? Check out this quote:
"I knew I did the right thing and I didn't know where my career was going to go. I knew what wasn't going to happen. … All the things I said then, frankly they've all come true. Every aspect of the organization that I commented on, it looks to me like that's the way I saw it then and that's the way it turned out. … I can't really worry about what other people say. I had to do what was right for me, and that's what I did."
Yes, of course Belichick thinks only about himself. Moreover, he has a quest for becoming the greatest coach in the history of the NFL that wears a hooded cloak. Coincidence? I think not. Thus, the conclusion is unavoidable and clearly Bill Belichick is a Sith Lord. Samuel L. Jackson better be on high alert!
Despite this frightening conclusion that Belichick is indeed a Sith Lord, the rest of the galaxy still has some hope this upcoming Sunday. Belichick’s opponent in this Super Bowl is none other than Tom Coughlin. Tom Coughlin may look like Freddy Krueger, as shown last week here on BSD, because his face was exposed to the -20 degree weather in Green Bay. Unfortunately, Coughlin does not appear to have the powers of Freddy Krueger, so it will be very difficult for the Giants to succeed. As far as I can tell, Coach Coughlin does not enter my dreams, and if anyone's aware of him appearing in their dreams, we would all love to hear about it.
Despite Coughlin not being Freddy Krueger, what actually may give some hope is that Coughlin once viewed Bill Parcells as his mentor, and Belichick just happens to be an apprentice of Bill Parcells! Coughlin, who apparently was receivers coach from 1988-1990 on the Giants when Parcells was coach and when Belichick was defensive coordinator , may have also learned some things from Parcells. Hell, Coughlin may even know how to also shoot electricity from his hands, but let’s not count our chickens before they’ve hatched. The fact that gives me hope is that maybe, just maybe, Coughlin was able to learn something about Belichick when they were both coaching on the Giants at the same time. Hopefully for the sake of the galaxy, Coughlin knows some secret thing that Belichick is allergic to and Coughlin will exploit this allergy. Maybe it’s curry? Or mustard? Or cutting off the hood from his sweatshirt during warm-ups? Maybe it’s using the spread option formation which I assume Belichick has never seen?
Ultimately though, short of Coughlin discovering Belichick's weakness, I think the Patriots are going to win easily because the Giants already played a near-perfect game against the Patriots in December… and still lost.
There’s only one thing that can be done now, and that is to cue up the John Williams soundtrack, because Sith Lord Bill Belichick cannot be stopped.
Pick: New England 35, NY Giants 17
Championship week: 1-1
Playoffs: 6-4 (pretty crappy indeed)
Which leads me to the most important question of this week: Is New England Patriots Coach Bill Belichick actually a Sith Lord??? I actually pointed this out briefly, in the comments of a post back in March 2007. I probably was not the first to make the analogy, but since then, other stories have actually published, accusing Belichick of being a Sith Lord, including a quote by Frank of “Frank TV” from this past December. Thus, the time has come to analyze, once and for all, whether Belichick is indeed the Sith Lord that Yoda has been fearing. I’ve devised some important questions that will help us in this determination:
1) Does he ever pull a hood over his head when he gets angry?
Yes, see the picture. He apparently wears a hood 95% of the time, in case he ever decides to get angry and kill children.
2) Sith travel in twos – a master and an apprentice. Does Belichick travel in two?
Yes, he used to follow his father around, who was coach of Navy. Then, Belichick’s first true master was Bill Parcells. Belichick has then had a number of apprentices since becoming a master including Charlie Weis, Eric Mangini, and current offensive coordinator Josh McDaniels.
3) Sith Lord, Emperor Palpatine, once said, "The Sith rely on their passion for their strength. They think inwards only about themselves." Does Belichick only think about himself?
Remember when Belichick was coach of the Jets for a day? Check out this quote:
"I knew I did the right thing and I didn't know where my career was going to go. I knew what wasn't going to happen. … All the things I said then, frankly they've all come true. Every aspect of the organization that I commented on, it looks to me like that's the way I saw it then and that's the way it turned out. … I can't really worry about what other people say. I had to do what was right for me, and that's what I did."
Yes, of course Belichick thinks only about himself. Moreover, he has a quest for becoming the greatest coach in the history of the NFL that wears a hooded cloak. Coincidence? I think not. Thus, the conclusion is unavoidable and clearly Bill Belichick is a Sith Lord. Samuel L. Jackson better be on high alert!
Despite this frightening conclusion that Belichick is indeed a Sith Lord, the rest of the galaxy still has some hope this upcoming Sunday. Belichick’s opponent in this Super Bowl is none other than Tom Coughlin. Tom Coughlin may look like Freddy Krueger, as shown last week here on BSD, because his face was exposed to the -20 degree weather in Green Bay. Unfortunately, Coughlin does not appear to have the powers of Freddy Krueger, so it will be very difficult for the Giants to succeed. As far as I can tell, Coach Coughlin does not enter my dreams, and if anyone's aware of him appearing in their dreams, we would all love to hear about it.
Despite Coughlin not being Freddy Krueger, what actually may give some hope is that Coughlin once viewed Bill Parcells as his mentor, and Belichick just happens to be an apprentice of Bill Parcells! Coughlin, who apparently was receivers coach from 1988-1990 on the Giants when Parcells was coach and when Belichick was defensive coordinator , may have also learned some things from Parcells. Hell, Coughlin may even know how to also shoot electricity from his hands, but let’s not count our chickens before they’ve hatched. The fact that gives me hope is that maybe, just maybe, Coughlin was able to learn something about Belichick when they were both coaching on the Giants at the same time. Hopefully for the sake of the galaxy, Coughlin knows some secret thing that Belichick is allergic to and Coughlin will exploit this allergy. Maybe it’s curry? Or mustard? Or cutting off the hood from his sweatshirt during warm-ups? Maybe it’s using the spread option formation which I assume Belichick has never seen?
Ultimately though, short of Coughlin discovering Belichick's weakness, I think the Patriots are going to win easily because the Giants already played a near-perfect game against the Patriots in December… and still lost.
There’s only one thing that can be done now, and that is to cue up the John Williams soundtrack, because Sith Lord Bill Belichick cannot be stopped.
Pick: New England 35, NY Giants 17
Championship week: 1-1
Playoffs: 6-4 (pretty crappy indeed)
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