Cheers and Jeers: Far West Edition

Ingredients:

• 15 ml Brandy
• 15 ml Advocaat
• 15 ml Dry Vermouth
• 1 dash Angostura bitters

At an objective level the West is deeper and better balanced than ever. A flurry of trades pushed the gap between the haves in the West and all the rest even wider. Currently Golden State would be the third seed in the East but in the West misses the playoffs. A mere five game separates the first place Hornets from the Warriors fueled by George Karl alcohol riddled mind. Each of the teams tinkered with their lineups somehow. Golden State adding some 80 year old guy that played for Michigan while the Lakers got the big prize of all-star Gasol. Its not often I openly advocate for people to watch something (ok maybe the midget tossing Olympics held in Bangkok) but if you ever enjoyed basketball now is the time to stay up late and watch away....

And now for some cheering and jeering....

Cheers to Chris Paul absolutely destroying human flotsam and Captain Selfish Jason Kidd. Kidd was mauled by Paul. I'm no entirely sure when Kidd became a second tier point guard but it sure was on display last night.

Jeers: To wave of franchise tags being applied to various NFL players. When it happens to a few players its one thing but something rubs me the wrong way about this new trend.

Cheers: To soon to be ex-IU coach Sampson getting suspended. I look forward to him serving me a Chipotle Burrito in the spring.

Jeers: To the escalating war of words between Scott Boras and Gary Sheffield. I don't understand why they can't solve their disagreement with knives. Why words? That doesn't help anybody

Cheers: To the Oscars. I'm voting for No Country for Old Men as best picture of the year with Daniel Day Lewis getting Best actor.

And your Cheers and Jeers gal of the week.....Monica Bellucci who helped teach me Italian while I taught her how to kickbox.

Cheers and Jeers: Roadkill Edition

Ingredients:

• 1 shot Tequila (Cuervo)
• 1 shot Hot Damn
• 1 shot Canadian whisky (Crown Royal)

Yes Gutsy is right it is Festivus. A magical time of year when I can rant and rave at the world and not feel guilty. Frankly once again I have a lot of problems with you people. You would think a new year would bring kindness and gentleness. But you’d be wrong. And probably a douchebag. So who’s on my list this week?

Conan O’Brien: Didn’t see that one coming did you? It’s a festivus miracle. Conan O’Brien bet Joe “I put the smarm in smarmy” Buck a thousand bucks (which I think is worth about 12 euros these days) that he couldn’t drop the phrase “jub jub”. Yes jub jub. So instead of ignoring the World Series like I had hoped I watched through 3 awfully painful innings before Buck, pulled back and dropped the jub jub title on Chris Meyers. Thanks a lot asshole

Rudy Giuliani: The Small Man searching for a balcony decided to drop his native Yankees and root for the Red Sox. I’m still not entirely sure how this is politically helpful but then again I live in the world of sane (a world that Rudy has waved to but never actually inhabited), Maybe its to show that he hates gays, maybe he thinks it’s a warning to Iran, who knows. But switching your allegiance to the arch rivals, you sir, deserve to be drop kicked in the nuts.

Manny Ramirez: Now for awhile I didn’t hold it against Manny that he’s the functional equivalent of the Black Rain Man. An idiot savant that could hit and field but probably couldn’t operate complex things like currency. I have no doubt that Manny doesn’t cut his hair simply because he couldn’t figure out that balls of lint and pieces of string don’t count as actual money. Nonetheless he shouldn’t be on tv. He very well may encourage other people to try to live in the Green Monster or befriend David Ortiz. And that is simply a threat to our national security.

American Football in London: Its not going to work, it hurts the teams that have to travel there (well the professional team going there, the Dolphins, well who knows).

Greg Easterbrook: I agree with everything said in the blogosphere. Umm when did this guy completely and totally lose it? Look MJ hates Boston more than anyone else I know and can no longer legally return there given that incident with the jello, 40 deer and Mit Romney’s hat but Easterbook has gone off to la-la land. The money quote from his recent column (so you don’t have to read it)

Argument for the Indianapolis Colts as paladins who carry the banner of that which is beneficent: Sportsmanship, honesty, modesty, devotion to community, embrace of traditional small-town life, belief in higher power, even love of laughter.

There are so many things wrong with that that my brain literally might shoot out my ears if I try (I can only assume by devotion to community Easterbook is not referring to the gay community as I’m guessing world class humanitarian Tony Dungy might object)

And now for Cheering and Jeering....

Cheers: Games of the week. All College Football. There are a ton of great games. Pick up a beer, flip on the tv. I’d recommend OSU at PSU at night in Happy Valley, also might want to check out Oregon v. USC or Florida v. Georgia at the World’s Largest Orgy Cocktail Polite Gathering. Hey even go for the noon sampler of West Virginia at Rutgers.

Jeers: To Southern Cal fires. That much is self-explanatory

Jeers: To further tensions in the Middle East. Umm aren’t there enough problems there as is?

Cheers: To Bob Woodruff working full time.

And now our Cheers and Jeers gal of the week….Elisabetta Gregoraci