Cheers and Jeers: Random College Predictions

Pre-Pre season college football ranking (e.g., ESPN , CNNSI ) are becoming old hat at this point. As we all know where you're ranked going into the season does matter a great deal for jockeying and positioning and thats based on Spring practice rankings which is based on recruiting deadline ranking which is based on horrible gross projections. And why should idiots (see above) have all the fun? So here's my ranking of teams based on the probability I think of them getting to the Mythical Championship game (not necessarily how good or bad they are)

1. Florida
Plus: Defending Champs, Entire Defense Back, Tebow's ballsweat cures Lepropsy
Minus: No Percy Harvin. Possibility of Tebow transmuting into pure energy given his awesomeness (can anyone explain why someone who spends time converting "the heathens" in the Phillipines is considered a hero as we don't live in the 19th century anymore?)

2. Texas
Plus: Returning Heisman contending QB. Big BCS bowl win. Mack Brown is willing to do things for votes that a porn star would balk at.
Minus: Loss of key d-linemen. Would you trust something led by a guy named Colt?

3. USC
Plus: Possible Big 12 backlash. Pete Carroll uses his extra 5 star recruits to re-enact various Civil War battles without missing them on the field. Most of the offense is back
Minus: Losing nearly entire defense, starting QB , both coordinators, and neighborhood joke shop.

4. Oklahoma
Plus: Returning Heisman, returning defense, experiments of turning velociraptors into tight ends coming along
Minus: Lose o-line, at some point Stoops face plant in BCS games (5 straight losses) has to catch up

In all likelihood we'll be looking down at OU next year

5. LSU
Plus: Early season non-conference game of year v. V-Tech will give it momentum, best recruiting class in country, finally figured out QB in Jordan Jefferson.
Minus: I totally lied about figuring out QB. He played well v. G-Tech. That's it.

Others: Ole Miss, Oregon, V-Tech, Alabama, tOSU

For those wondering about the Big 10 I'll discuss its issues on Monday.


Cheers: Laz. I have been remiss in congratulating one of our own, Laz, who earlier this month got engaged to wonderful woman who is clearly superior to him in well every way. Congrats Laz

Cheers/Jeers: West Coast Trips. The Cavs starting to look like the NBA favorites have a perilous West Coast trip including playing the Lakers. If they can somehow navigate the pitfalls then I think going into the all-star break the Cavs will be considered top dog.

I don't see any downside to unicycles and meathooks together at last

Cheers: To coaching NFL changes winding down. The interesting angle I think will be the KC -Denver -Cleveland -New England connections. Josh Mcdaniel (now Denver ex-Pats) almost was coach in Cleveland/KC. KC gets Pioli (ex NE) who almost went to Cleveland. Mangini (scourge of NE) gets Belicheks old job over Pioli and Mcdaniels and brings in all ex-New England assistants.Which brings us back to Belichek who now has to figure out NE without any of those previous cogs. Umm, got it?

That in no way shape or form was simple

Jeers: Cold Weather. Obviously this cold weather is simply a ploy by the squirrel army to begin its invasion under orders from the Clown - Saucer People -RAND Corporation alliance.

And your C&J gal of the week....Kate Hudson - who likes long hikes, staying clean, and my free style beat boxing.

MMBSD: Now that's football weather

Play your Super Bowls in the shiny domes or utopian weather. Blow. Discuss the majesty of the SEC . Suck it. Unless football is being played in weather that requires shirpas, Saint Bernards and igloos its not real football. This Sunday I finally got my wish. Like a kid that discovered scrambled Playboy I called everyone I know in Cleveland (well Gutsy is now dead to me given my FF team's collapse) to confirm what I heard on the radio...Lake Effect Snow. And not just your run of the mill "Oh its Snowing" but your "Oh crap, grab your neighbor's wife and head to the heated room Snow". 50 MPH swirling gusts of wind. Packable Snow. A haze of fog and sleet. Ref's not being able to find yard markers. Outstanding. The fans got into the game by building snowmen and throwing snowballs at the Bills. Sure the score ( 8-0) resembled more of a Cleveland Spider's game then a Cleveland Browns game (in fact John Clayton informs us the last 8-0 game was 1929) but man was it fun. Outside of the joy of watching the weather the game also had important playoff implications as the Browns moved to within one game of clinching the playoffs. The AFC race is all but set barring a huge collapse and save the outside chance that Cleveland can win the North and send the Yinzers to the 6th playoff spot.

Derek Anderson celebrated the big win by eating snow(AP Photo/Tony Dejak)

Other Things We Learned: Jacksonville is probably the team nobody wants to play. A mean defense and punishing running game. Fred Taylor gained more yards than any other back ever in Heinz Field. San Diego is creeping up with their beatdown of Detroit but its still Norv Turner we're talking about here (right? said the writer who's still figuring out how the Chargers have piled up rushing yards like Brady has paternity suits). They don't make mistakes, they run and can get pressure with their front 4. Yes seems like we might have finally found our #3 team in the AFC.

Things to Keep an Eye On: Anyone else notice that in the last two weeks Dallas needed a last second win over Detroit and lost to the Iggles. Anyone else remember Romo's disappearing act at the end of last year? I'm just saying for all the Pete King's Romo has a great smile (he's getting laid by Jessica Simpson of course he's smiling) that Romo and the Cowboys haven't proven he/they can handle the pressure yet. Green Bay is eying homefield advantage suddenly.

Yes you are distracting Jessica...wait where was I with this article?

Things that Deserve a Recount: A few of us, and I won't name names, poo-pooed the hiring of Marv Levy as GM of the Bills. Well the Bills despite the loss seem to be moving in the right direction. Despite leading the league in injuries Levy has stocked them team with good depth, rebuilt an O-Line, drafted young stars like Whitner and Lynch and maybe found a QB of the future in Edwards. Not too shabby and certainly not a mistake hiring.

Things that Make You Go Hmm: RoRod aka Rich Rodriguez is off to Wolvereeenes land. Its a surprising hire as the Atheletic Department is shelling out 3 million just to pay off the buy out. Its surprising that the spread option is coming to QB factory USA. All those great recruits like Ryan Mallet can begin this transfer search...NOW. I suppose its not that surprising as the pressure to land a big name and a different direction were huge for the AD. There's no reason to think RiRod (RoRod sounds better despite that it doesn't make sense) won't succeed although it might take a few years to get the right players. HOWEVER, a coach that has interviewed twice in two years after receiving an extension and has left his alma mater, might have his eyes on other places (like a 4 million a year gig in the SEC). It will be also interesting to see how the Meechigan's AD handles Rodriguez propensity for recruiting questionable characters and keeping them around.