Hey Now! week 2 of the NFL and week 2 of 5th street. its a good day. before starting out on a sports rant I wanted to go with a quick emmy's update. Arrested Development (best new show on tv) got I think the only network emmy. (and thats including the fact that deadwood didnt get one (best show on tv). Shape up networks . your getting beaten like the proverbial rented mule.
The Flop
1. Kellen Winslow hurt on special teams? I've been trying to come up with a good reason why Butch had K2 on the field. He might block a punt you say. I dont see Michael Vick returning punts, I don't see Tony Gonzalez playing safety, and Eli Manning doesn't work as a car valet. They would all be good at those jobs but guess what the value added to them doing those jobs doesn't overcome the risk of them getting hurt(especially Eli with a car in nyc). There's only solution to this problem and it involves firing Butch Davis and shipping him off to a third world country like Texas.
2. Pundit watch..well as a respected Pundit you immediately need to rank teams and pick the winner for the next 14 games. So who do i got? Well my superbowl pick (KC) is going South faster than a retired Superman off to Florida. KC got beat by Carolina who got beat by Green Bay who lost to Chicago who got beat by Brown University's Choral Society who lost to....Detroit? Ahhh No. Look I remember a simpler time when you got to knock the king off the Mountain in order to be king. New England is the king, they havent lost, they get the nod. Out of the NFC its looking like the winner of Philly and Minnesota will be the annointed one (at least till week 3)
3. Is it just me or have turnovers been ridiculously high this year. There are a few basic laws in the world, gravity pulls things down, beer can solve all the world's problems (or possibly start them), and if you turnover the ball you'll lose. Giants beat Washington, turnovers. Bears beat Green Bay, turnovers. Bush beat Gore , turnovers again, albeit declared by the Supreme Court (I knew I hated instant replay for a reason).
4. The Turn
How do you win at baseball, simple spend money. Basically every team who spent money is/was in the chase for the playoffs. I know the Mets and Baltimore. But the Mets are run by a guy in a monkey suit or a monkey in a human suit and Baltimore spends half its money building moats to protect DC from Montreal. Oh Oakland and Minnesota have won, you say? well thats cause they knew something other teams didnt . They knew about the magic stats like On-Base percentage and slugging percentage. But the cats out of the bag, baby. Boston, LA, etc know the secret formula. So Oakland and Minnesota and all the low spenders need knew secret stats (check out recent peter gammons on this one)...like fielding and base running. but guess what this moving target will be caught and then we'll see really really bad inequality.
5. The River (or random thoughts)
Jacksonville defense is for real. They shut down Denver. And they do it via their line. They will stick around. Seattle has won 2 on the row on the road (as opposed to last year when they won like 1.4 on the road). They will stick around. Tampa Bay players are en masse going to retire and start playing on the football senior circuit halfway through the season. The Indians need to stop playing in the month of September. If football has a network (I'm not sure what theyre covering in June although I would love to see Michael Strahan and Warren Sapp debate salary cap implications) they definitly need a poker network. Next week I'll report live from Columbus on the secret of Mike Nugent...
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For Archival purposes, here is Week 2's edition of Goldberg's Gutsy Picks
Okay, here's the breakdown. Let's start with the
Manwich-sized Matchup of the Week (Note: this is about the game that Goldberg has the most trouble predicting, not necessarily the best game on tap):
Vikings @ Eagles... It's unbelievable the amount of offensive talent in this game, McNabb, TO, & Westbrook, vs. Culpepper, Moss, & whatever Minnesota RB is healthy and not on drugs. Obviously, this matchup comes down to the defenses. The Vikings picked up Winfield in the offseason, and I think he will be able to slow down TO a little bit. Meanwhile, the Eagles secondary is a bunch of inexperienced 2nd & 3rd year players (Troy Vincent & Taylor left after last season). The eagles got off easy last week facing the giants passing attack, and I think they will be scrambling against the Vikings this week. Pick: Vikings.
Upset Special:
Denver @ Jacksonville. I can't even believe I'm picking this, after the way Jacksonville barely survived last weekend against Buffalo, but I think Denver is in store for a letdown after their convincing win against KC. Plus, Jacksonville's run defense is about 100 times better than KC's. Matisoff could gain 130 yards against KC. Pick: Jacksonville
Indy @ Tennessee:
Indy has to rebound from their bi-annual disaster against the Pats? Right? Pick: Indy
Houston @ Detroit
As you may know, Houston is my "surprise playoff team" for this year. So... losing to San Diego certainly wasn't part of the plan. I'm expecting them to be really pissed off and actually get their first road win in 2 seasons. If they don't find a way to win, this could be my worst "surprise" team pick ever. By ever, I mean in comparison to the 4 years I have been picking suprise teams. Pick: Houston
Pittsburgh @ Baltimore
2 hated teams. But what a QB matchup, Maddox vs. Boller. Even with the liability of Past-his-Prime Deion, Ravens should win. Pick: Baltimore
Washington @ NY Giants
Another week for Warner to get pulled, Manning to enter in mop-up duty, and Manning to get hit hard by the other team's 3rd string D-linemen. Pick: Washington
Chicago @ GB
GB's offensive line was unreal on Monday night. I have a feeling that the Bears aren't scaring them too much. Pick: GB
St. Louis @ Atl
Each team scraped out crappy wins last week. I see Atlanta scraping one out this week. When all else fails, use video-game analysis of QBs, and Vick is better than Bulger. Pick: Atl
SF @ NO
NO's goal each year is to get to 8 wins. They are a strange team to predict, but out-thinking Dennis Erickson might even be achieved with a Wade Phillips at the helm. If there was a team that is marching to infamy (and 2-14), it's the 49ers. Pick: NO
Carolina @ KC
Wow! This usually would take center stage in any normal week. The Panthers still have to be having nightmares of how GB ran all over them... it's too bad they get Priest Holmes this week. John Fox had better do a seance before this team turns into the 1999 Falcons when everyone got injured after their Super Bowl loss. Pick: KC
Cleveland @ Dallas
Everyone is forgetting about the ultimate storyline- Testaverde's return to Cleveland! I'm sure many Clevelanders will be wearing their old Testaverde jerseys in support of their old hero who won them one playoff game in the 1990s. Pick: Dallas
Buffalo @ Oakland
I really couldn't figure these teams out from last week's games. I have to think that Buffalo gets more credit, since they played Jac, while Oakland let Maddox beat them. Pick: Buffalo
NYJ @ SD
If you think I'm jumping on the Chargers bandwagon, you are gravely mistaken. Pick: NYJ
NE @ Arizona
Yes, I am tempted to pick against the Pats yet again (as I have been doing since November 2003). The only way that is happening is if the Cards have a '93 Emmitt available. Pick: NE
Seattle @ TB
Wow! What a week. Too bad the Bucs are forced to start an over-the-hill Tim Brown at WR thanks to Galloway losing his groin last week. I mean pulling it. Same thing. Pick: Seattle
Miami @ Cinci
This is a night game in Cinci. I have a feeling that there will be lots of drinking going on. Feeley/Fiedler could use a few shots before-hand to alleviate the pain they are going to feel. Pick: Cinci
Last week: 12-4 (no joke)
Manwich Matchup: 0-1 (had Indy over NE)
Upset Special: 1-0 (if you count Det over Chicago)
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