Mock Draft 2011: It's mocktastic

1. CAR - DT Marcell Dareus - Alabama - I'm going with an upset here... because I don't believe in Cam Newton. #1 pick money should be on more of a sure thing. I'm still in shock and awe over Newton's meteoric rise to the top. Honestly, I feel like he's more unpolished and represents more risk than a lot of other players. He only played one year and his mechanics are just strange. I think the Panthers aren't giving up yet on Clausen. Also, Dareus seems less risky just because of his size and speed, and since he's not a QB, it's not like he has to learn how to read a defense and how to throw different types of balls (like Newton does).

2. Denver - LB Von Miller, Texas A&M - Isn't this guy a professional skier? Oh wait, that's Lindsey Vonn. But seriously, I guess Denver just takes the best available pick. They will be very upset if Dareus is taken #1, since they have a need for Defensive linemen.

3. Buffalo - QB Cam Newton - The Bill suddenly find themselves being able to take Cam Newton, and gladly take the high-risk high-reward gamble, but at #3, not at #1.

4. Cincy - WR AJ Green, Georgia - The Bungles get a WR, as TO is leaving and Ocho Cinco is old. Seems pretty easy. Granted, the Bengals usually find a way to get the most messed up person in the draft and shocking everyone. So, if they shock everyone, I think it would be to grab the next QB, Blaine Gabbert out of Missouri.

5. Arizona - CB Patrick Peterson, LSU - This guy is supposed to be a stud, an immediate starter. The Cardinals just do it.

6. Tennessee (trade with Cleveland) - QB Blaine Gabbert, Missouri - The Titans outbid Washington, San Fran, and Minnesota to get Blaine Gabbert...

7. San Fran -CB Prince Amukamara, Nebraska - He actually is a Prince. Or at least that's what this article claims - that he is the "first son of a chief."

8. Cleveland - DE Robert Quinn, UNC - The Browns have a much bigger need in the front 7 than they do at WR. Oh wait, they are all needs in Cleveland! However, I think finding some big bodies up front will be more important to them at this point and they will find offensive weapons later on (I hope?).

9. Dallas - T Tyron Smith, USC -The Cowboys continually work on their offense.

10. Washington - DT Nick Fairley, Auburn - Of course the guy with more character issues goes to Washington, because that's where questionable people would get picked!

11. Houston - DE Da'quan Bowers, Clemson - There are questions about his knee, which have made his draft status fall, but I think Houston will realize that this is a great value at this pick and gladly take him (and they wait until later to grab a QB).

12. Minnesota -QB Jake Locker, Washington - Sometimes... need trumps everything else. The Vikings QB situation has been volatile, because they had the man-who-should-not-be-named-who-"allegedly"-sends-pictures-of-his-genatalia-via-his-cell-phone, so the Vikings reach way down, and grab Locker.

13. Detroit -WR Julio Jones, Alabama - To honor the long-standing tradition, Detroit decides to kick it old school and draft another WR in the 1st round! No, I'm just kidding. The Lions take Anthony Coastonzo, OT Boston College. That way we can make Costanzo! jokes all season long when he screws up or pretends to sleep underneath his desk during a film session.

14. St. Louis - WR Julio Jones, Alabama - The Rams made do last year on 4th and 5th string WRs, but I'm sure they'd rather prefer to get some more talent around Sam Bradford. Interestingly, NFL.com says the Rams are interested in trading up for Julio Jones, but draftcountdown.com says that the Rams hate Julio Jones, his workout, and his entire family. I have no idea what the truth is. As the X-files says, "trust no one."

15. Miami - DE Aldon Smith, Missouri - This guy is supposedly shooting up the board!

16. Jacksonville -DE Cameron Jordan, California - I don't know why, but it sounds like this guy belongs in some kind of boy band.

17. New England - DE JJ Watt, Wisconsin - The Patriots just beef up the line... or they trade the pick away as they typically do to gather more 3rd rounders.

Other interesting picks...

28. New England - RB Mark Ingram, Alabama - The Pats stop the free-fall, and grab the Heisman winner.
2nd round, Carolina- QB Dalton, TCU - He has red hair. I can't think of any other red-headed QBs.
2nd round, Cincy - QB Ryan Mallett, Arkansas - He is immobile. I think it's really difficult to succeed in the NFL as a QB without some marginal amount of mobility.
2nd round, Washington - QB Colin Kaepernick, Nevada - I don't know who he is, but the Redskins need a QB, and this guy is 6'5", and rated right behind Dalton, so I guess it's this guy!
2nd round, San Francisco - QB Christian Ponder, Florida St - I guess it's the best available QB????