Friday, June 29, 2007

Cheers and Jeers: Wild Fire edition



Cheers and Jeers: Wild Fire edition
Ingredients
-teXqXuXilla
-tabasco
- black pepper
-pain
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Note: this is Mighty's C+J posted by Publius due to the MAN keeping Mighty down by bugging his email, probing his anus, and basically making him goto work 5 days a week!!!


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Well as you can notice the man had me down this week as the reason for the delay in cheering and jeering. The man should not be taken lightly. As the urban documentary Don't Be a Menace to South Central…. clearly notes the man has a checklist and he's checking it twice for who has been thuggish and who has nice. As a member of the Alles Clan 4 life I'm obviously on the list of who gets it. So without further ado…Cheers and Jeers

Cheers: To the NBA Draft. Certainly one of the most over hyped drafts in years. Two drafts in one said Jay Bilas. Win win for all said the smarmy guy (Andy Katz). How am I still on tv said Stephen A. That said I'm pretty intrigued by the fact that Durant and Oden will be in the Pacific Northwest together for awhile. Given the distances involved (among other things) the Carmelo v. Lebron rivalry never really took off but the constant playing of the Sonics and Trail Blazers will definitely be worthy of notice.

Jeers – To steroids. I'm not a doctor, I don't even play one on tv but the recent bizarre tragedy involving professional wrestler Chris Benoit and possible linkages to steroids makes the case of why testing for these drugs is probably important for reasons other than records.

Cheers – Football training camp and the start of rookie hold out season is about 2-3 weeks away.

Jeers – To DC heat. Its really the humidity. I don't remember signing up to fight in the jungles of ' Nam but that's how I feel when I exit the metro in the afternoon.

Jeers- To scary animals. A random conversation this week between MJ and I prompted me to post the animals I am most scared of. I probably shouldn't make this public but all of these animals are on notice.

5. Portuguese Man o'War- They're like jelly fish but basically the size of a house. Technically they're actually a colony of animals living in symbiotic co-existence. As a true American ( i.e. someone not born on a coast) I just don't trust working together for common goals. Smacks of communism to me.

4. Pigs – No one animal should produce that variation of foods. Plus they're all foods that are bad for you. And smell funny. And can be used to ward off Jewish Vampires. While I've gotten over my fear of ham sandwiches I remain fairly peeved at prosciutto.
3. Bees - I dislike bees. They're basically flying kamikaze needles. I mean what kind of animal kills itself in order to inflict a little bit of pain. Crazy ones, that's who, and therefore can you trust suicidal animals? Outside of lemmings the resounding answer from the scientific community is no.

2. Chimpanzees – At the moment I'm not petrified of them. Sure they're smart, better as sign language, use a variety of complex tools and can finger paint better than I but that's not enough to scary me. What does scare me is their potential. According to experts, assuming chimps make it through the next century, there's a 60% chance they will take over the world. And possibly destroy the Statue of Liberty. And fight Mark Wahlberg. So they may look innocent now, blowing their bubbles and wearing their diapers, but secretly they are getting ready for the end of the time of Man.

1. Clowns –Contrary to the urban myth, clowns aren't people. They're actually the descendents of crocodiles. They have never evolved a frontal cortex. These creatures of the deep run solely off their reptilian mind with the simple pattern of find animal and drag it down to their layer. It's also why clowns are more common in the summer as their cold blood doesn't function well in frigid climates. When confronted by clowns one should remember this fact as they are only quick over short distances. This crucial detail has saved my life more than once.

So with that what is everyone else cheering and jeering about?


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