Gutsy - (Hulk Hogan, Jake "The Snake" Roberts, Goldberg, Hacksaw Jim Duggan)
Publius - (Stone Cold Steve Austin, The Undertaker, Jesse "The Body" Ventura, Trish Stratus)
Laz - (Ulimate Warrior, Bret "The Hitman" Hart, Koko B. Ware, Tito Santana)
Colonel Sanders - (Roddy Piper, Hillbilly Jim, Ric Flair, King Kong Bundy)
MJ - (Andre the Giant, Macho Man Randy Savage, Sgt. Slaughter, Million Dollar Man Ted Dibiase)
Mighty - (The Rock, Mankind, Sting, Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat)
The question now becomes: who would win in a Survivor Series tournament between the 6 teams? Many possible outcomes exist, but I decided I’d take a stab at it. I did way too much research on Wikipedia to figure out what rivalries and friendships had occurred in the past. Feel free to contribute your own thoughts and disagree on what may happen:
Opening Round
MJ vs. Colonel Sanders
As the match begins, Roddy Piper immediately renews his rivalry with Andre the Giant. Meanwhile, Ric Flair and Mach Man Randy Savage start trading blows outside of the ring. It’s pandemonium! Million Dollar Man Ted Dibiase eventually gets in the ring at the same time as King Kong Bundy, who Million Dollar Man had once purchased the services of. Million Dollar Man hands King Kong Bundy a pile of cash, and the fans start to boo. King Kong Bundy accepts the money – then starts pummeling Ted Dibiase! The fans are getting excited as Ted Dibiase appears to have little or no energy left and MJ’s team is now in serious danger. Suddenly, Hillbilly Jim, who is on Team Colonel Sanders, enters the ring. Hillbilly Jim then approaches Ted Dibiase… but instead at the last moment he goes after his TEAMMATE, King Kong Bundy, and gives Bundy a leg drop that knocks him out. The fans are stunned and outraged! Ted Dibiase crawls on top of Bundy to secure the victory for MJ. In a post-match interview, Hillbilly Jim explains how his old rivalry with King Kong Bundy was so strong that he just could not stop his hatred of Bundy from boiling over and affecting the outcome of the match.
Winner: MJ
Gutsy vs. Publius
The fans in the arena are screaming loudly at the colossal matchup between Gutsy’s and Publius’s teams. Hulk Hogan and Jesse “The Body” Ventura begin things in this match, as the two begin to battle each other for the first time. Goldberg and Steve Austin are the next competitors to engage each other, which is an interesting matchup because many fans have believed that Goldberg was only created as a “copy” of Steve Austin. After Goldberg and Austin exchange special moves and spit in each other’s faces, Jake “The Snake” Roberts enters the ring to square off against his old friend, The Undertaker. Soon, the fans begin to suspect that Publius’ team is not going to even let the only female in the Survivor Series, Trish Stratus, participate in any of the action. The fans start chanting for her… “Trish! Trish! Trish!...” Until finally, the Undertaker tags Trish. She immediately knocks Jake Roberts down! The fans are going crazy, as she uses many of her signature moves (Chick Kick, Stratusfaction, the MaTrish reloaded… http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trish_Stratus ) to continually beat down Jake Roberts. Goldberg starts to argue with the referee about the legality of some of these moves, but while Goldberg is arguing with the ref, Hacksaw Jim Duggan uses his 2 x 4 on Stratus and knocks her out cold, allowing Jake Roberts to pin her! The arena is eerily silent and in a state of shock, as Hacksaw has never used his 2 x 4 as a weapon before, not even on a male!
Winner: Gutsy
Semifinal #1
MJ vs. Laz
The match starts out with all of the fans doing the funky bird dance that Koko B. Ware does… Sgt. Slaughter then immediately goes after the Ultimate Warrior. Meanwhile, the Million Dollar Man meets up with his former rival, Koko B. Ware outside of the ring. Million Dollar Man appears to just try to talk out their differences… until the Million Dollar Man’s bodyguard, Virgil, runs up and knocks Koko B. Ware down from behind! Macho Man and Tito Santana also are able to renew a rivalry in the ring... until Bret “the Hitman” Hart comes over to help double team Macho Man. While the 7 other wrestlers are mixing it up, Andre the Giant appears to just be sitting in his corner, as it appears that everyone is scared to face him, but Andre is content as he is exhausted from the first match, which ended only 40 minutes ago. Sgt. Slaughter soon realizes that Million Dollar Man is in trouble and comes over to Koko B. Ware and puts Koko’s face in his armpit. The horror! The ref tries to break up the smelly armpit exercise, but as the ref is distracted, Macho King grabs his scepter… and smashes it over the head of the Ultimate Warrior – just like he did back in the ‘90s. Game, set, match.
Winner: MJ
Semifinal #2
Gutsy vs. Mighty
Hogan and the Rock stare each other down and start to wrestle each other, which gets the fans going wild because they remember how great their first fight was. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6woTyOqGMyY Another dream matchup occurs in that Sting gets to defend the honor of the WCW against Goldberg in an old vs. new school match. Jake the Snake Roberts also is able to renew his rivalry with Ricky the Steamboat Dragon… While Jake is busy, Mankind crawls UNDERNEATH THE RING, gets to Jake’s corner and takes Jake’s snake which is still in its bag. Mankind then starts choking the snake with his own sock puppet! As the fans go wild, Jake notices this as does the ref, and everyone is distracted. Suddenly, out of nowhere, Hacksaw once again uses the diversion to use his 2 x 4 – this time on Ricky the Steamboat Dragon!
Winner: Gutsy
Championship Match
Gutsy vs. MJ
Amazing – but the two teams that had to fight off fatigue in the semifinals ended up making it to the championship match. All of MJ’s team has one thing in common in this championship match – they all have had feuds with Hulk Hogan! This time, Andre Giant starts out in the ring. Hogan tries to go at him, but it's just like that Wrestlemania match - he's an unmovable object at this point! Soon, all of MJ's team jumps in the ring and start pummeling Hogan. He's bleeding everywhere!... Goldberg then comes in and tackles all of the wrestlers on MJ’s team!... Jake Roberts then takes his snake out of the bag and lets it slither all over the fallen Macho Man! Miss Elizabeth shows up to stop Jake Roberts and Jake once again slaps her across the face, just like he did in the ‘90s!!! The crowd is booing loudly at this point! The ref starts to clean up the mess of a bloody Hogan and multiple members of MJ’s team being in the ring. Meanwhile, Andre the Giant is beating up on Hogan; but the ref is distracted by dealing with Jake Roberts… and once again Hacksaw Jim Duggan uses this diversion to use his 2 x 4… this time on Andre the Giant! Hogan then does his patented Atomic Leg Drop, with blood dripping down his face, and then Hacksaw, in another unprovoked fit of violence, impales Sgt. Slaughter with an American flag! The bell rings and the match is over and Team Gutsy has not only survived, they have become the CHAMPIONS OF THE MOCK DRAFT!
Opening Round
MJ vs. Colonel Sanders
As the match begins, Roddy Piper immediately renews his rivalry with Andre the Giant. Meanwhile, Ric Flair and Mach Man Randy Savage start trading blows outside of the ring. It’s pandemonium! Million Dollar Man Ted Dibiase eventually gets in the ring at the same time as King Kong Bundy, who Million Dollar Man had once purchased the services of. Million Dollar Man hands King Kong Bundy a pile of cash, and the fans start to boo. King Kong Bundy accepts the money – then starts pummeling Ted Dibiase! The fans are getting excited as Ted Dibiase appears to have little or no energy left and MJ’s team is now in serious danger. Suddenly, Hillbilly Jim, who is on Team Colonel Sanders, enters the ring. Hillbilly Jim then approaches Ted Dibiase… but instead at the last moment he goes after his TEAMMATE, King Kong Bundy, and gives Bundy a leg drop that knocks him out. The fans are stunned and outraged! Ted Dibiase crawls on top of Bundy to secure the victory for MJ. In a post-match interview, Hillbilly Jim explains how his old rivalry with King Kong Bundy was so strong that he just could not stop his hatred of Bundy from boiling over and affecting the outcome of the match.
Winner: MJ
Gutsy vs. Publius
The fans in the arena are screaming loudly at the colossal matchup between Gutsy’s and Publius’s teams. Hulk Hogan and Jesse “The Body” Ventura begin things in this match, as the two begin to battle each other for the first time. Goldberg and Steve Austin are the next competitors to engage each other, which is an interesting matchup because many fans have believed that Goldberg was only created as a “copy” of Steve Austin. After Goldberg and Austin exchange special moves and spit in each other’s faces, Jake “The Snake” Roberts enters the ring to square off against his old friend, The Undertaker. Soon, the fans begin to suspect that Publius’ team is not going to even let the only female in the Survivor Series, Trish Stratus, participate in any of the action. The fans start chanting for her… “Trish! Trish! Trish!...” Until finally, the Undertaker tags Trish. She immediately knocks Jake Roberts down! The fans are going crazy, as she uses many of her signature moves (Chick Kick, Stratusfaction, the MaTrish reloaded… http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trish_Stratus ) to continually beat down Jake Roberts. Goldberg starts to argue with the referee about the legality of some of these moves, but while Goldberg is arguing with the ref, Hacksaw Jim Duggan uses his 2 x 4 on Stratus and knocks her out cold, allowing Jake Roberts to pin her! The arena is eerily silent and in a state of shock, as Hacksaw has never used his 2 x 4 as a weapon before, not even on a male!
Winner: Gutsy
Semifinal #1
MJ vs. Laz
The match starts out with all of the fans doing the funky bird dance that Koko B. Ware does… Sgt. Slaughter then immediately goes after the Ultimate Warrior. Meanwhile, the Million Dollar Man meets up with his former rival, Koko B. Ware outside of the ring. Million Dollar Man appears to just try to talk out their differences… until the Million Dollar Man’s bodyguard, Virgil, runs up and knocks Koko B. Ware down from behind! Macho Man and Tito Santana also are able to renew a rivalry in the ring... until Bret “the Hitman” Hart comes over to help double team Macho Man. While the 7 other wrestlers are mixing it up, Andre the Giant appears to just be sitting in his corner, as it appears that everyone is scared to face him, but Andre is content as he is exhausted from the first match, which ended only 40 minutes ago. Sgt. Slaughter soon realizes that Million Dollar Man is in trouble and comes over to Koko B. Ware and puts Koko’s face in his armpit. The horror! The ref tries to break up the smelly armpit exercise, but as the ref is distracted, Macho King grabs his scepter… and smashes it over the head of the Ultimate Warrior – just like he did back in the ‘90s. Game, set, match.
Winner: MJ
Semifinal #2
Gutsy vs. Mighty
Hogan and the Rock stare each other down and start to wrestle each other, which gets the fans going wild because they remember how great their first fight was. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6woTyOqGMyY Another dream matchup occurs in that Sting gets to defend the honor of the WCW against Goldberg in an old vs. new school match. Jake the Snake Roberts also is able to renew his rivalry with Ricky the Steamboat Dragon… While Jake is busy, Mankind crawls UNDERNEATH THE RING, gets to Jake’s corner and takes Jake’s snake which is still in its bag. Mankind then starts choking the snake with his own sock puppet! As the fans go wild, Jake notices this as does the ref, and everyone is distracted. Suddenly, out of nowhere, Hacksaw once again uses the diversion to use his 2 x 4 – this time on Ricky the Steamboat Dragon!
Winner: Gutsy
Championship Match
Gutsy vs. MJ
Amazing – but the two teams that had to fight off fatigue in the semifinals ended up making it to the championship match. All of MJ’s team has one thing in common in this championship match – they all have had feuds with Hulk Hogan! This time, Andre Giant starts out in the ring. Hogan tries to go at him, but it's just like that Wrestlemania match - he's an unmovable object at this point! Soon, all of MJ's team jumps in the ring and start pummeling Hogan. He's bleeding everywhere!... Goldberg then comes in and tackles all of the wrestlers on MJ’s team!... Jake Roberts then takes his snake out of the bag and lets it slither all over the fallen Macho Man! Miss Elizabeth shows up to stop Jake Roberts and Jake once again slaps her across the face, just like he did in the ‘90s!!! The crowd is booing loudly at this point! The ref starts to clean up the mess of a bloody Hogan and multiple members of MJ’s team being in the ring. Meanwhile, Andre the Giant is beating up on Hogan; but the ref is distracted by dealing with Jake Roberts… and once again Hacksaw Jim Duggan uses this diversion to use his 2 x 4… this time on Andre the Giant! Hogan then does his patented Atomic Leg Drop, with blood dripping down his face, and then Hacksaw, in another unprovoked fit of violence, impales Sgt. Slaughter with an American flag! The bell rings and the match is over and Team Gutsy has not only survived, they have become the CHAMPIONS OF THE MOCK DRAFT!
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