Hall of Fame Thursday

MEMORANDUM

To: Messrs. Mark Messier, Craig Biggio, and Frank Thomas

From: MJ

Re: Hall of Fame
_____________________________________________________________
Congratulations to all three of you.

Messier’s getting his picture on the wall in Toronto this year. Craig and Frank will have to wait until five years after they’re retired before partying in Cooperstown. But all three of them got their ticket punched and will be joining the list of legends. Awesome!

Cheers and Jeers: Wild Fire edition

Cheers and Jeers: Wild Fire edition
Ingredients
-teXqXuXilla
-tabasco
- black pepper
-pain
--------------------

Note: this is Mighty's C+J posted by Publius due to the MAN keeping Mighty down by bugging his email, probing his anus, and basically making him goto work 5 days a week!!!

---------------------

Well as you can notice the man had me down this week as the reason for the delay in cheering and jeering. The man should not be taken lightly. As the urban documentary Don't Be a Menace to South Central…. clearly notes the man has a checklist and he's checking it twice for who has been thuggish and who has nice. As a member of the Alles Clan 4 life I'm obviously on the list of who gets it. So without further ado…Cheers and Jeers

Cheers: To the NBA Draft. Certainly one of the most over hyped drafts in years. Two drafts in one said Jay Bilas. Win win for all said the smarmy guy (Andy Katz). How am I still on tv said Stephen A. That said I'm pretty intrigued by the fact that Durant and Oden will be in the Pacific Northwest together for awhile. Given the distances involved (among other things) the Carmelo v. Lebron rivalry never really took off but the constant playing of the Sonics and Trail Blazers will definitely be worthy of notice.

Jeers – To steroids. I'm not a doctor, I don't even play one on tv but the recent bizarre tragedy involving professional wrestler Chris Benoit and possible linkages to steroids makes the case of why testing for these drugs is probably important for reasons other than records.

Cheers – Football training camp and the start of rookie hold out season is about 2-3 weeks away.

Jeers – To DC heat. Its really the humidity. I don't remember signing up to fight in the jungles of ' Nam but that's how I feel when I exit the metro in the afternoon.

Jeers- To scary animals. A random conversation this week between MJ and I prompted me to post the animals I am most scared of. I probably shouldn't make this public but all of these animals are on notice.

5. Portuguese Man o'War- They're like jelly fish but basically the size of a house. Technically they're actually a colony of animals living in symbiotic co-existence. As a true American ( i.e. someone not born on a coast) I just don't trust working together for common goals. Smacks of communism to me.

4. Pigs – No one animal should produce that variation of foods. Plus they're all foods that are bad for you. And smell funny. And can be used to ward off Jewish Vampires. While I've gotten over my fear of ham sandwiches I remain fairly peeved at prosciutto.
3. Bees - I dislike bees. They're basically flying kamikaze needles. I mean what kind of animal kills itself in order to inflict a little bit of pain. Crazy ones, that's who, and therefore can you trust suicidal animals? Outside of lemmings the resounding answer from the scientific community is no.

2. Chimpanzees – At the moment I'm not petrified of them. Sure they're smart, better as sign language, use a variety of complex tools and can finger paint better than I but that's not enough to scary me. What does scare me is their potential. According to experts, assuming chimps make it through the next century, there's a 60% chance they will take over the world. And possibly destroy the Statue of Liberty. And fight Mark Wahlberg. So they may look innocent now, blowing their bubbles and wearing their diapers, but secretly they are getting ready for the end of the time of Man.

1. Clowns –Contrary to the urban myth, clowns aren't people. They're actually the descendents of crocodiles. They have never evolved a frontal cortex. These creatures of the deep run solely off their reptilian mind with the simple pattern of find animal and drag it down to their layer. It's also why clowns are more common in the summer as their cold blood doesn't function well in frigid climates. When confronted by clowns one should remember this fact as they are only quick over short distances. This crucial detail has saved my life more than once.

So with that what is everyone else cheering and jeering about?

3rd Annual NBA Draft Recap

Trade-Mania! -- Both of the big trades of the night surround the teams with the top 2 picks (Portland, Seattle) and their efforts to clean house and free up cap space for a couple of years down the road, as both franchises start over fresh.

Portland Odens
Knicks get:Zach Randolph (4 yrs, 60 mill !), Dan Dickau (1 yr, 2.8 mill), Fred Jones (1 yr, 3.3 mill)
Portland gets:Channing Frye (1 yr, 2.5 mill and player option), Steve Francis (2 yr, 33 mill)
The Knicks continue to take on more payroll in exchange for questionable players. Randolph has been through a lot, including punching a teammate, legal problems, microfracture knee surgery, and arguing with the coach. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zach_Randolph Randolph is talented, and if Randolph actually plays consistently well, it’s a monster front line in combination with Eddy Curry. I really like the trade from the Portland perspective – 2 years of Steve Francis is going to be sad, but at least they got Zach Randolph off their hands. I’m not sure what else they could have gotten for Zach Randolph, since everyone knew they were trying to unload him. It’s tough in today’s internet age to keep stuff like that under wraps I suppose. Anyway, Channing Frye is a really good prospect who I assume can just start immediately at SF. Now the Blazers are set with an excellent but young starting 5, because they just plug LaMarcus Aldridge into Randolph’s starting spot. Look at this sweet lineup:
PF Aldridge
SF Frye
C Oden
SG B. Roy
PG J. Jack…plus they now can focus on team chemistry, by shipping Randolph out! They don’t have any bench as of this moment, but there’s no reason the Trailblazers can’t at least fight and contend for a playoff spot this season. Plus, as awful as it is going to be to pay Steve Francis, it’s only 2 seasons, as opposed to any of the other possible awful contracts that Portland could have gotten in return. Of course, they could have traded for someone who may actually play, but I think Portland was more focused on the quickest way to get a $15 million cap number off their books.

Seattle Super-Durants
Seattle gets: Delonte West (2 yrs remaining, $4.5 mill total), Wally-World (2 yrs, $25 mill total), and the #5 pick (Jeff Green)
Boston gets: Ray Allen (3 yrs remaining, $51 mill total)
In a lot of ways, this is good for both teams though much better for Seattle from a long-term perspective. GM Danny Ainge is under pressure to start delivering some wins, so he decided to roll the dice and deal West and the #5 pick. Granted, I’m not sure that Ray Allen is the answer for their team because this means they have a starting lineup of:
PF Jefferson
SF P. Pierce
C ???? Ratliff
SG R. Allen
PG Rondo
6th man – G. Green ?
Maybe they are going small though they still have Theo Ratliff, but Ratliff hasn’t been healthy in years. I’m just really biased against Rondo, who I don’t think is the answer at PG. Regardless of my hatred for Rondo, Boston did get a lot more interesting for next season at least! As for Seattle, I really do like the trade. They end up creating even more cap space this year (saving $2 million) so they should have like $17 million this summer to go after Rashard Lewis and whomever else they want. Plus, I’m assuming that this allows Seattle to still trade Luke Ridnour or Earl Watson. AND, this frees them one year earlier from a cap perspective (by not having Ray Allen)!

Early Draft Winner: Detroit Pistons
Drafted two sweet guards (Stuckey from E. Washington – a pure scorer ; and Afflalo from UCLA) which were much needed to add some depth since the Pistons didn’t really have much after Billups and Rip Hamilton (they already unloaded Delfino, and only had L. Hunter back there). I’ve always liked Afflalo a lot better than Jordan Farmar (who came out last year from UCLA). Granted, Afflalo is a SG, but coming off the bench he can knock down some open jumpers.

The Bad
Jay Bilas, on 7-foot center Spencer Hawes – “He’s not athletic and he doesn’t rebound well or block shots and this tends to raise some red flags.”

The Ugly
-Joakim Noah’s bowtie and 1970s sports jacket… maybe there’s an unwritten rule to wear the ugliest outfits possible. I don’t get it. Joakim Noah is a goofy guy, who just sat with Stuart Scott and waved to all of his buddies in the crowd the whole time.
-Houston’s pick of PG Aaron Brooks from Oregon – the quest continues to restore the faith of the nation in the name “Aaron Brooks.” The good news: you have T-Mac and Yao to pass to! The bad news: don’t know where the minutes are coming from, because the Rockets seem to be stockpiling PGs (Mike James, Rafer Alston, V-Span (Greek World Championship Hero), Luther Head? ).

Rod Beck, 1968-2007

In memory of a regular guy who loved baseball, and happened to be very good at it - and who knew how to live life (perhaps too much, I'm afraid). It's a sadder world without the Shooter around.

Congratulations USA

A young Team USA took a big step forward in international play when it rallied past Mexico to gain a 2-1 win and capture the CONCAAF Gold Cup (best team in North/Central America/Caribbean). It also meant that new coach, Bob Bradley, remained independent. Starting next week the super young squad will travel south to face off against Argentina (the winner of the South American Championship) and later against COBRA (which won the Pacific Island Cup).

Anyway Go USA!

Cheers and Jeers: Flaming Dr. Pepper Edition

Flaming Dr. Pepper
Ingredients
- 1/2 Pint Beer- preferably a lager
- 1 shot amaretto
- Bacardi 151 (or any substitutable liquor with high enough proof)
- fire
- love (the secret ingredient is always love)

Well folks I'm back baby. After time in Italy and other parts unmentionable I have returned to reclaim cheers and jeers and participate in our wonderful online community. While I was gone I introduced our Atlantic cousins to the concept of the flaming dr. pepper. Now while Bacardi 151 isn't really available in Europe, we did find wonderful substitutes like: ouzo, kerosene, nothing, etc. Great times. Anyway here's a little cheering and jeerings

Cheers
To all-star fever. Of all sports selection for the baseball all-star team seems to be the most important. This year the Tribe have two great starting pitching nominees who I as a cheerer whole hardly support (Carmona and Sabathia)

Jeers:
To the basketball trade fever. Nothing is getting done. Nobody will be traded. I haven't seen this much huffing and puffing signifying nothing since Publius threatened me with a ham sandwich. I've been in Italy (read where deli's go to die). After seeing prosciutto, ham holds no fear.

Jeers:
Sosa hitting 600 home runs. Yawn.

Cheers:
To golf testing for steriods. Its about time. All that 'roid rage was taking away from the finer points of golf.

Cheers:
GQ + Jessica Biel = reason to go to the beach. Also to carry duct tape.

Cheers and Jeers: Limoncello Edition

Cheers and Jeers: Limoncello Edition
Ingredients:

• Zest of 15 fresh Lemon
• 2 fifth 100 proof Vodka
• 4 cups Sugar
• 5 cups Water

Mixing instructions:

Wash the lemons with a vegetable brush and hot water to remove any reside of pesticides or wax. Carefully zest the lemons with a zester or vegetable peeler so there is no white pith on the peel. -- In a 1-gallon glass jar, add one fifth vodka and the lemon zest. Cover the jar and let sit at room temperature for at least 10 days, and up to 40 days in a cool dark place. -- In a large saucepan, combine the sugar and water and cook until thickened, appx. 5 to 7 minutes. Let the syrup cool before adding it to the limoncello mixture. Add the additional fifth of vodka. Allow to rest for another 10 to 40 days. -- After the rest period, strain and bottle, discarding the lemon zest. Keep in the freezer until ready to serve.

---

Editors Note: Yes, I have been negligent in my Cheering and Jeering duties for the past two weeks. I will be traveling next week and so must pass the torch back to Mighty Mike beginning next week. Mighty is spending his last day in Italy and returns to a Cleveland. The city is missing an eye (the Spurs gouged it out and skull f#@ked the Cavs Private Pyle style). Welcome home, Mighty.

The most serious risk associated with Cheers and Jeers (CJ) is respiratory depression. Common CJ side effects are constipation, nausea, sedation, dizziness, vomiting, headache, dry mouth, sweating, and weakness. Taking a large single dose of CJ could cause severe respiratory depression that can lead to death. Chronic use of CJ can result in tolerance for the drugs, which means that users must take higher doses to achieve the same initial effects. Long-term use also can lead to physical dependence and addiction -- the body adapts to the presence of the drug, and withdrawal symptoms occur if use is reduced or stopped.

---

I suppose Cheers is warranted to the Spurs. Four championships in nine years is a solid achievement. I profess Spurs fatigue but hey, they won.

Jeers: To the suspension of PHX Suns players during the series with the Spurs. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-UUUUURRRRNNNNNNNNSSSSSS

Cheers: To Eva Longoria. She is hot.

Cheers: To the boys of summer. It’s baseball time until the BSD returns focus to the NFL and seeing Troy Smith serve the Cobra empire.

Speaking of baseball, I don’t follow day to day scores. I examine trends. The Mets and 1-9 in the last 10 games, the Yankees are 9-1 and the Red Sox are 4-6. It’s a long season and anytime a team can stay within ten games of the leader nothing is out of the realm of possibilities.

Jeers: to the final episode of the Sopranos. Screw you guys, I’m going home.

Top Links of the Week:

1) Guess The Celebrity Thong 2

2) Simpson’s Quiz

3) Top 10 King James Dunks

Happy Weekend to all BSD. Please accept a random hot female.

Baseball Talk

1. There’s talk that Commissioner Selig will suspend Jason Giambi if he fails to fully cooperate with Sen. Mitchell investigation into the use of steroids in the game of baseball. I would have expected nothing less of Selig and Mitchell. They seem like just the types of weaklings that would use coercion to extract information. “Rat out or we’ll crush you like a worm” they’re saying.

I am certain that the player’s union is watching this closely and will file a grievance on Giambi’s behalf. They’d be right to since, after all, Giambi would be facing suspension for doing something that wasn’t against the rules of the game at the time.

The Mitchell Commission was a bad idea from the very beginning and now the MLBPA will humiliate them in arbitration, making them look tyrannical (on top of incompetent and deeply conflicted). I’m eating this all up. Anything that further tarnishes Selig’s legacy is fine in my book.

2. Is there a dumber manager in the game of baseball than John Gibbons? OK, maybe the Dodgers’ Grady Little is dumber. So I guess that makes Gibbons is the dumbest manager in the American League. Has Gibbons ever heard of Mark Prior or Kerry Wood? Has he ever heard of Rich Harden, Carl Pavano, or Ben Sheets? Is he familiar with the ace of his own staff, AJ Burnett? What do these guys all have in common? They’re all talented pitchers who have suffered injuries due to overuse early in their careers.

This isn’t the 1940’s where pitchers could throw complete games every start. For better or worse, the game has evolved to the point where pitch counts are a crucial statistic for managers and their pitching coaches to keep track of. It should alarm all Blue Jays fans (and their management) when AJ Burnett, a pitcher with a history of fragility, was kept in for an average of 125 pitches per start over his past three starts. It should alarm Blue Jays fans (and their management) further to know that Burnett has averaged 110 pitches since May 1st (nine starts) including five starts over 115 pitches. Was it a surprise that Burnett left his last start with pain in his pitching shoulder?

Toronto GM JP Ricciardi signed Burnett to a five year, $55M contract before the 2006 season. With roughly 70% of the contract remaining, I find it incredible that Gibbons would be so cavalier with the health of his most fragile pitcher. Ricciardi – if he’s even alive and aware – should be incensed.

3. The Mets have a $115M payroll, a five-game losing streak, and a 2-10 record in the month of June. In two of their last three series, they’ve been swept by the Phillies and Dodgers, and outscored 32-12 in those games. Overall, the Mets have given up 65 runs and scored 38 during this 12-game stretch. Where’s ESPN? Where are the yellow dogs of New York’s newspapers? Where are the cries that Jose Reyes, Carlos Beltran, and Carlos Delgado should be traded because they can’t handle the so-called pressure of New York?

Look, I’m a Yankee fan. I know the playoffs likely aren’t in my future this October. But I still have to ask that the same vicious bloodlust be meted out to the expansion team that plays its games in Queens County. They’re the Mets people; the fucking Mets. They’re the same team of mercenaries that the Yanks are. Quit pretending they’re a cuddly and charming bunch of young upstarts

Hello? Hello? Anybody home? Huh? Think, McFly. Think!

I hate Coach Mike Brown of the Cleveland Cavaliers so much. I keep thinking the Cavs could have won game 1 of this series with an average NBA coach… or even an average college coach!

Here are some great quotes from Mike Brown after last night’s game, courtesy of WKYC in Cleveland, to prove his ineptitude:

“There’s no magic play, no magic defense… this is a good team and we have to bring the juice” [by “juice” he means aggressiveness].

Actually, Coach Brown is wrong. His job is to devise plays and to devise defenses to provide an organized attack and strategy for success! That’s how you coach!

“We have a lack of focus, a lack of effort, and a lack of aggression.”

“We have got to be aggressive. Drive and kick the b-ball. Move it. Set screens. Attack the rim. If you are wide-open you have to step in and hit the shot.”

And my absolute favorite…

Question: “Changing the aggression, changing the focus… emotionally, how do you affect that change with the team?
Mike Brown: “We have to dig within. I don’t have anything that magical. I’m not that smart. I wish I was. I wish I had something to give them. We’ve been down 0-2 before… we got thumped last year against Detroit to go down 0-2.”
http://www.cleveland.com/wkyc/video/index.ssf?/wkyc/video/wkycclip.ssf?aid=36804&bw=

So, in conclusion, what Mike Brown is saying is that he has nothing to offer, there are no plays that he’s going to call, but at least they’ve been down 0-2 before, so hopefully they’ll be fine.

As my Canadian friend said, "if this isn’t the greatest case of a coach performing “NONFEASANCE” (“failure to perform an act that is either an official duty or a legal requirement”), I’m not sure what is." If there was ever a case where you could fire a coach DURING the NBA finals, this would be it!

I’m not trying to take anything away from the Spurs. But the fact is, the Cavs are so damn talented that they made the NBA Finals with a guy coaching the team who at least offensively, doesn’t help them in any way, shape, or form! If they had a slight bit of organization, they may be able to win a game against the Spurs! There would be more organization on this team if they had a high school coach! Please realize, that I don't get paid to coach the Cavs and I only have a limited knowledge of basketball in comparison to Coach Brown who watches videotapes of basketball for hours per week but I’m actually convinced now that the following options would have resulted in a Game 1 victory. :

1) Tecmo Bowl for Basketball - Running the same 4 plays all night long.

2) Running the Stack – Can you imagine if the Cavs ran the “stack” all night long? For those unfamiliar with the “stack” it’s the inbounds play where all of the team’s players are clumped or stacked together and then different players move at different times creating a confusing situation of picks and defensive mismatches. Lebron would certainly be open at some point if they ran the stack.

3) Devise Picks for Lebron when Lebron doesn’t have the ball – Yes, the most revolutionary concept for Mike Brown – letting Lebron run around screens and picks so this way he actually doesn’t get the ball until he already is OPEN and in the PAINT (or at least doesn’t have a double team on him).

4) Not Playing Hughes who has a torn foot muscle-
I’m so convinced at this point that a hobbled Larry Hughes isn’t even worth playing, that I thought it’d be illustrative to look at the plus/minus for Larry Hughes last night (I looked at the play-by-play on ESPN): minus 14. Taking a cue from 82games.com, it’s then illustrative to look at the Cavs plus/minus when Hughes is on the bench: plus 3 ! Holy jalopeno Batman!

I then decided to do the same exercise for Game 1 (just to prove that Game 2’s numbers weren’t due to the fact that the Spurs let the Cavs come back into the game):
Cavs plus/minus when Hughes was in the game: minus 18
Plus/minus when Hughes is on the bench: plus 9 !
If that isn’t proof that Hughes’s torn plantar fascia is negatively impacting the Cavs, I’m not sure what is!

I hate John Hollinger

So on espn.com today they have an article by John Hollinger, who might be the biggest moron in sports. He rated all the teams to make it to the NBA finals over the last thirty years and ranked them from 1 to 60. Sounds good and fun, right? Well, he messed it up big time! First of all, you can only view 1-10 unless you have sold your soul to pay for espn.com's "insider". So, within these top 10 of all time, Hollinger has 8 of the top 10 teams from 1985-1997. So, that means that in a 13 year span, 8 of the top ten teams of all time played. And within these eight teams are ALL 6 chicago bulls championship teams. this is preposterous! I understand that the late 80s and early 90s was a good time for the NBA but to say that all 6 Jordan teams were better than any team from the 70s or early 80s just doesnt make sense. So, let's look at Hollinger's analysis; he uses average scoring margin and average playoff scoring margin as two of the main factors in deciding who was teh best team. Yeah, great idea jerkoff. That makes no sense. That's like saying Roger Clemens is the best pitcher of all time because when he pitches his offense gives him the best run support of any pitcher. Or Viniterai is the best kicker of all time because his team scores the most touchdowns. Scoring margin has nothing with being great. This guy sucks.
Laz

Briefly...

1. Now that the Miami Dolphins have completed a trade for Trent Green, they’ve announced that Daunte Culpepper is on the trading block. Personally, I think Daunte Culpepper is washed-up as a starting QB in the NFL. In his only season in Minnesota without Randy Moss, he was nothing short of horrible before getting hurt. Now that he’s coming off his second knee surgery, I have to assume that he’s got even less left in the tank.

And yet, here I am, advocating that the Giants make a trade for him. As long as it doesn’t cost them more than, say, sixth-round picks in the next couple of drafts, the Giants could use Culpepper on the team in the hopes that he can somehow rebound. Eli Manning has no future in the NFL as a starting QB. Current backups Anthony Wright and Jared Lorenzen represent a has-been and a never-will-be. The Giants should use this trade to motivate Manning and to scare him into giving more consistent performances. And if – and it’s a big if – Culpepper is healthy and can show up to camp in shape, he might even be a mediocre option to use instead of Manning.

There’s no downside for the Giants here. I hope they pull their head out of their ass with Eli and realize that, with Daunte, they won’t be getting any worse at this point.

2. Now that Billy Donovan has shown about as much decisiveness as a high school girl picking her outfit for the high school dance, the Orland Magic seem prepared to move on with Stan Van Gundy as their next coach. The only catch is that the Miami Heat are talking about asking for compensation in order to let SVG out from under his Heat contract.

I have to say, given how shabbily SVG was treated by the Heat, I’m surprised that they wouldn’t have the decency to let him pursue a head coaching opportunity. After all, he’s only a “consultant” to the team, presumably a position that could be filled by any number of other candidates. What’s the upside for the Heat? Cash? Draft picks? Can a team consultant really be worth draft picks? If the Magic decide that they don’t want to compensate Miami and move in another direction, it will be one more stab-wound in SVG’s back. Pat Riley ought to be ashamed.

3. ESPN is now running a feature that ranks all the NBA Finalists over the past 30 years or so. Directly below that is a feature that tries to make the case that the 2006-07 Cavs are the NBA’s worst-ever finalist based on a bucket of stats. To that I say, WHO CARES? Were the 2006 Chicago Bears the worst-ever team to play in the Super Bowl? Probably so. But should the Bears be apologizing for that fact? Of course not! Similarly, do the Pistons (probably a better team than the Cavs) have a right to be in the Finals just because they pass this statistical smell-test with higher grades? King James answered that question already.

I will probably make this a separate column in the coming weeks but I dislike how ESPN has reduced sports to arguments of instant history. They constantly seem to want to make everything into a best-ever/worst-ever type of argument which is neither informative nor particularly interesting. But if they persist, then I nominate ESPN for worst-ever sports media conglomerate. We are ever-stupider for continuing to have them yell into our ears.

3rd Annual NBA Finals Preview

My level of excitement for this year’s NBA Finals is beyond measurement. Despite my team of choice, the Cleveland Cavaliers, being in the NBA Finals, I will do my best to remain objective. In 2005, I used Star Wars quotes (http://thedawggs.blogspot.com/2005_06_01_thedawggs_archive.html), and in 2006, I used Indiana Jones quotes (http://thedawggs.blogspot.com/2006_06_01_archive.html). To continue the tradition, I will use another great trilogy this year – Back to the Future!

1. “Like I've always told you, you put your mind to it, you can accomplish ANYTHING.”

This one goes out to Larry Hughes for multiple reasons. While I feel like most of the Cavs fans (and probably most of the nation) feel like Hughes has become completely worthless to the Cavs it’s not true. He’s only worthless on the offensive end because he has completely lost his shot. I still believe if Larry puts his mind to it, he can regain his inconsistent shot. I just hope he figures this out in practice, not during the game. Defensively, Larry Hughes is extremely valuable to the team as he still is most likely the Cavs best one-on-one defender, so his skills will be needed to keep Manu Ginobili and/or Tony Parker in check. Also, Larry has somehow been playing without a torn plantar fascia in his left (a torn muscle in his foot), so if anyone is worthy of putting his mind to it and accomplishing something – it’s Larry Hughes.
Advantage: None - (the man has a serious injury, and can’t play more than 30 minutes; if Hughes is healthy and abstains from shooting, that would make it a huge advantage for the Cavs just because of his defense)

2. “Hey, you! Get your damn hands off her!”

Tony Parker has a hot wife, Eva Longoria, in case you happened to be sleeping under a rock.
Advantage: San Antonio

3. “You're not thinking fourth dimensionally!”

To Michael Finley, for still being very productive even at the age of 34, AND for still being paid $17 million per year by Dallas for: 2005-2006, 2006-2007, AND 2007-2008. http://www.hoopshype.com/salaries/dallas.htm Time-traveling is not what enables this, but it actually is a classic example of the “Allan Houston rule” – Dallas still pays his salary but Dallas “waived” him and does not have to pay any luxury tax for Finely’s salary. San Antonio is not a bunch of freeloaders though, as they pay Finley a reasonable $3 million per year for his services.
Advantage: San Antonio

4. “Unless you want everyone in the division to think your... Chicken...”

To Anderson Varejao, who will certainly get scrappy with all of the Spurs especially Tim Duncan. I can only hope and pray that Varejao actually gets inside Duncan’s head and frustrates Duncan. And if anyone is going to just lose their cool from being called “chicken” or “Sideshow Bob”, it’s Anderson Varejao
Advantage: San Antonio (I still don’t think it’s possible to get in Duncan’s head)

5. “Oh, my God, they found me, I don't know how, but they found me. Run for it!”

To Daniel Gibson on the Cavaliers. Now that he had his absurd 31-point outing to oust the Pistons, he certainly will not be forgotten by the Spurs or the Spurs coaching staff.
Advantage: San Antonio

6. “I thought I told you never to come in here.”

To Robert Horry, who probably will continue to act like an enforcer and take out multiple Cavs players who try to drive to the hoop. Horry has suddenly become “Biff” after inciting some extracurriculars against Phoenix. It really is amazing how many times he’s been to the NBA Finals (twice with Houston, three times with the Lakers, now his second time with the Spurs) but there will be no one else that I boo quite as often.
Advantage: San Antonio (they have an expendable guy (Horry) who is willing to take out the opposing team’s players)

7. “A bolt of lighting. Unfortunately, you never know when or where it's ever gonna strike.”

To Lebron James, who at any moment can impact a game and just flat out dominate.
Advantage: Cleveland

8. “Hello? Hello? Anybody home? Huh? Think, McFly. Think!”

Ultimately, no matter how good Lebron is, the fact of the matter is that behind Coach Popovich, the Spurs are a well-oiled machine and the Cavs coach is completely out-classed. I can’t believe I’m comparing Cavs’ coach to Marty McFly but it basically comes down to this – I have never seen an NBA coach who chooses to NOT call any plays in the waning minutes of a basketball game. Essentially, as great as Mike Brown has been in teaching the Cavs to play defense, offensively, he is a moron. He only calls plays after timeouts in the first 40 minutes of the game, and each time, the play is for Z (the local announcers in Cleveland have pointed this out since December). If it’s the last 8 minutes of the game, Mike Brown simply calls the play of “trust Lebron, and everyone else getting out of the way.” While this has worked to this point, it seems completely irrational to believe that this can continue to produce results. Granted, Lebron is amazing, and if there’s any player who can overcome a mediocre coach, its Lebron. But can you imagine if Mike Brown actually had plays (more than just accidents) where Lebron gets free off of a screen when he doesn’t have the ball? The other sad thing I just found out, is that the few plays that Mike Brown does have are just copied from San Antonio, and even have the same names. Even sadder, is that Mike Brown has been getting advice from Coach Popovich throughout the entire 2007 playoffs, including this past week against the Pistons! http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/playoffs2007/columns/story?id=2891759 Clearly, Coach Brown will ultimately prove to be the biggest liability in these NBA Finals because he certainly does not get the most out of the players and he appears to have been using the RIVAL COACH as his crutch the last few weeks!
Advantage: San Antonio

With that said, I still believe the NBA Finals are going to be much more competitive than people will expect because pf 1) Lebron and 2) the Cavs match up well with the Spurs (the Cavs even swept the Spurs this season). Obviously, no one can stop Duncan. But, the biggest plus for the Cavs is that this is another defensive-oriented team which is great because the Cavs go through long droughts of not being able to score. If Larry Hughes is healthy, he can handle Ginobili, and most importantly, Daniel Gibson is quick enough to defend Tony Parker. The Gibson-factor is the biggest difference between this series and the Pistons series. As great as Gibson was offensively for the Cavs against the Pistons, the scary truth was that defensively, he was a liability due to his small stature against both Billups and Hamilton. The Pistons basically attacked wherever Gibson was and in Game 5 of the series, when Gibson wasn’t on fire, this became a major problem (resulting in Eric Snow substitutions before Gibson even fouled out). Against the Spurs, I don’t see Gibson as being a defensive liability because Tony Parker and Gibson are similar in size and speed, meaning that Gibson can play even more minutes while producing offensively, and hopefully, not being taken advantage of defensively.
Prediction: Spurs in 6.

Cleveland Advances

Thats not an optical illusion folks, the Cavs are the Eastern Conference Champions. After Jim Chones foot, after the Shot over Craig Ehlo, after Brad Daughterty's back, after trading Ron Harper, after time and time again the Cavs would end the season without a celebration, they finally did it last night and in emphatic way put away the Boring Boys of Motown. Mind you there's another series and there's only a slim chance the Cavs can take the Spurs but for today and until Thursday this Championship starved Cleveland fan will enjoy life thanks to The King and Prince Boobie......

Nooooooooooooooooo

okay, so i wont talk about how last night's cavs victory was one of the most exciting basketball games ive seen in years, or about lebron's performance was one of the most dominating playoff performances by an individual since Jordan on the Bulls, or how the city of cleveland collectively poohed themselves at the end of the game, i will talk about the idiots on sportscenter. Today on ESPN and on mike and Mike, there was great talk about the cavs performance but on three seperate occasions some dumbass opined that the series was over and the cavs will play the spurs. Bullcrap! First of all, i dont blame Greeny or Golic because they werent in, instead it was some douchepump and their Eric "i love nascar and will always talk about how great it is" Kasilic (that may not be spelled right at all). But they went on and on how the Spurs are gonna play the cavs. Hold on Jack, the series aint over. Need i remind you that we were up 3-2 last year against the pistons and coming home and we blew it. Yeah, garbage! second, here are a few names who managed to stop the cleveland "sure thing": Ernest Byner, John Elway, Jose Mesa, Edgar Renteria, Michael Jordan, they all that in Cleveland the only sure thing is that I'm gonna be spending friday night alone.
Laz

Two Parts NBA & One Part A-Rod

NBA:

The Orlando Magic plucked Billy Donovan from the University of Florida and installed him as their new head coach. I have to say, I don’t really get this move. First, the list of college coaches who have succeeded in the pros isn’t a particularly long list. Besides Larry Brown, I don’t think I can name another NCAA coach that has made the transition to the pros and managed to stick around (although if I’m missing someone, by all means tell me).

Second, the Orlando Magic aren’t exactly teeming with talent. Dwight Howard is young, raw, and still developing. There’s no question that he’s a very good prospect but he’s not quite at the point where you can build a team around him. He still struggles on offense and relies too much on pure athletic ability without having a fallback of solid low-post moves to use when needing to score a basket. I’m not convinced that Darko will ever be anything more than a role player. The rest of the roster has its ups (Jameer Nelson) and downs (JJ Redick). And, unlike the masses, I don’t believe that they’re one free agent (Vince Carter) away from being anything more than first-round fodder in the playoffs.

Third, if Donovan wanted a change of scenery and a new challenge after winning back-to-back titles at UF, I think the Kentucky job was a better career move than jumping to the NBA. In light of how Tubby Smith was forced out of Lexington despite having done an admirable job, I can see why the UK job would be a daunting one. After all, managing the unrealistic expectations of a rabid fan base can be far more difficult than building a program from scratch (as Donovan did in Gainesville). But, given Donovan’s ability to recruit – something Tubby Smith was criticized for – and with the tremendous resources and national cachet that the Wildcats have at their disposal, I thought Donovan could’ve easily taken over for Smith and achieved tremendous success.

Finally, I’m just not sure that the Pitino/Donovan style can work in the NBA over the long-haul. Pitino’s lone success in the NBA was, quite honestly, the 1988-89 Knicks team that won 52 games with a full-court pressure defense. While I’m certainly no expert, I tend to believe that the NBA (like all sports leagues) is a copycat league. And since there aren’t any other teams that employ the press for 48 minutes or rely nearly exclusively on 3-point scoring for the majority of their points outside of the paint, I’m not seeing a real precedent for Donovan’s prolonged success.

I simply look at it this way: since we now know that the choice was between UK and the Magic, I’m having a hard time figuring out why Donovan would rather take over a mediocre team in the NBA, where a coaching lifespan is often less than five years, instead of getting a decade (or more) in the best conference and at one of the NCAA’s historic and elite programs.

A-Rod:

In light of the continued backlash against Alex Rodriguez, I have to ask a question that another blogger posed yesterday:

“Would you rather win shamelessly or lose with dignity? Consider the long and storied – and memorable – history of champs who are shameless, then rack your brain trying to remember the dignified losers.”

Personally, I’d quarrel with the notion that the Yanks won shamelessly or that what A-Rod did was shameless. I’d simply chalk it up to one player using the “black arts” that are often employed by athletes in all sports: stealing signs, talking trash, doing those annoying things that get an opposing player off his game. Nevertheless, the question remains. Do fans truly care about sports etiquette? Does etiquette even matter? Is there any pride in losing “the right way?”

Friday Culture: On Language

With Publius traveling and myself tied up in Italy it looks like we'll be missing out on cheers and jeers. Plus I have no more cheers left to give after Lebron's performance. As such I thought an off-beat link would suffice.

Occasionally we here at the BSD get e-mails to improve the culture and provide high brow intellectual debates. As such I bring you this think piece on the definition of douchebag. Its actually some combination of witty, funny and thought provoking.

Was I dreaming?

I realize that its a bit earlier here than in the Eastern Time Zone, but I can't shake the feeling that I'm still dreaming. Did I see that right? Lebron scored 25 straight points? He scored 29 out of the final 30 points of the Cavs? Including all the points in overtime and double overtime? A grand total of 48 points, 8 rebounds and 6 assists? A performance so impressive that even ESPN compared it to MJesque performances against the Celtics or Jazz or Magics 1980 finals performance? All of this in a crucial game 5 against the supposed playoff savvy and battle scarred Detroit Pistons? Really? Was I dreaming?

For his next trick Lebron will lead the Cavs over the Alps

No matter who wins the NBA Eastern Conference (and before anyone says its over the Cavs were in the exact same spot in that they had won 3 straight before going home in Game 6 before blowing it last year) they almost certainly going to be chum for the Spurs. Spurs are playing well, Greg Popovitch obviously has pictures of David Stern in a dress, and Bowen is ready and able to shiv any opponent that get out of line. I believe this article summarizes my feelings about another Spurs Championship.