Blockbusters

In anticipation of the huge amounts of cool movies that are coming out this summer (Terminator 4, Wolverine, GI Joe, Transformers 2), I thought it would be cool if current movies were re-made with sports stars instead of the original cast. Here are some of my suggestions:
Judge Dredd: A futuristic movie in which the main character is betrayed by his evil brother, and the evil brother tries to clone himself to take over the world. This movie originally starred Sylvester Stallone and Armand Assante, but can be re-made to star Jeff and Stan Van Gundy. Although, I debtated which one would be evil. Jeff Van Gundy looks more devious and schemey, but Stan Van Gundy looks like Ron Jeremy, so who knows.
Hancock: A movie about a larger than life superhero whose ego and desire to be an asshole overshadows all the good he does. This movie has Terrell Owens as the star, all the way. However, I’ve decided to write in a sidekick, played by Chad Johnson (ocho cinco).
Anchorman: Four newscasters, all with amazingly 70s style hair, who report on mundane and ridiculous stories that are believed to be newsworthy. There are four stars to this movie. I think Barry Melrose and Mel Kiper should play Paul Rudd and Ferrell’s respective characters, simply because of the hair. Marv Albert should be Champ Kind, the sports crazed reporter who has some personal and emotional issues. And instead of Steve Carrell’s semi-retarded character Brick Tamlin, he should be replaced by Peter Gammons, who will say nothing except "I love Boston" and "Tom Brady is god" throughout the whole movie. Also, I think Rachel Nichols should play Veronica Corningstone, just cause shes hot. Oh, there also needs to be a character for Luke Wilson who gets both his arms ripped off, and when I think of someone who should have their arms ripped off (especially by a bear), all I can think of is Rick Reilly.
Fast and the Furious: starring Donte Stallworth (too soon for that joke?)
Superman II: The Man of Steel is faced with his greatest challenge, three villians who are equally as strong as him, but he overcomes them and banishes them from Earth. Superman is clearly LeBron James, with General Zod played by Kobe, and the other two by Dwight Howard and Dwayne Wade. This is a metaphor for the cavs winning the championship.....and Lebron hooking up with Margot Kidder.
Star Wars trilogy: The Empire would have to be played by various sports figures I hate. Belichek would be a perfect Emporer, he already has the wardrobe, that damn hoodie makes him look just like the guy. Darth Vader can be played by Jerry Jones. And the yankees could be a bunch of overpaid storm troopers. (This entire entry is meant to spur anger and outrage from MJ). And then my heroes can play the rebel alliance. Travis Hafner as Chewbacca. Bernie Kosar as Han Solo, Mark Price as Luke Skywalker (they look a little alike, don’t they), and Mo Williams as R2D2.
The Hunt for Red October: With a name like that, you need to have a movie starring baseball players, either the Cardinals or the Cincinnati Reds. Theres not more of an analogy there, but I guess you could have Joey Votto as the unproven young Alec Baldwin who defies all odds and outsmarts everyone. And Tony Larussa as Captain Ramias (Connery). Plus, Pujols can play James Earl Jones’ character.
Well, thats a good start, let’s try to come up with some more.