5th Annual NBA Finals Preview

Editor's Note: Obviously, I'm upset about the Cavs losing. However, I have to be professional about this which is why I'm still writing a NBA Finals preview, despite the fact that for the second year in a row, I dislike both teams involved.

Just as a recap, in 2005, my NBA Finals Preview used Star Wars quotes. In 2006, I used Indiana Jones quotes. In 2007, I used Back to the Future quotes. In 2008, I used Aliens vs. Predators quotes from both AVP1 and AVP2 (because I hated both teams and because there were hardly enough quotes from any AVP movie worthy of a blog entry.). Without further adieu, it is time to analyze the classic NBA finals matchup that is before us.

For the record, out of ESPN's "experts" - 11 out of 12 have the Lakers winning. However, I have to say that I am positive that the Magic will win, for whatever that is worth. This playoffs reminds me in some ways of the 2004 season, when everyone expected the Lakers to destroy the Pistons. In honor of the year 2004, I will be providing analysis with quotes from: Dodgeball - A True Underdog Story, provided to us by imdb.com !

1. White Goodman: Go ahead, make your jokes, Mr. Jokey... Joke-maker. But let me hit you with some knowledge. Quit now. Save yourself the embarrassment of losing with these losers in Las Vegas, La Fleur.
Peter La Fleur: Alliteration aside, I'll take my chances in the tournament.
White Goodman: Yeah, you will take your chances.
Peter La Fleur: I know. I just said that.
White Goodman: I know you just said that.

I think if Kobe Bryant was going to call Dwight Howard before the NBA Finals, this is how it would go, with Kobe making White Goodman's lines. The Lakers act like and fully believe they are the team to beat. To be honest, I'm not sure why. Let's look back at their matchups during the season:

Orlando actually swept the season series from the Lakers. They played in December in Orlando. Jameer Nelson played in this game and scored 27 points but somehow, Derek Fisher also scored 27. Most interesting was that Bynum collected 5 fouls, played only 11 minutes, and the rebounding was even between the two teams. This game took place before Courtney Lee was in the rotation, and Keith Bogans played a substantial amount of time, probably resulting in Kobe getting 41 points.

In January in LA, Courtney Lee played 25 minutes and Kobe was only 10 of 26 from the field, and this was when Pietrus was out. Orlando destroyed the Lakers on the glass, getting 54 rebounds to the Lakers' 40. Nelson played out of his mind and again was the leading Magic scorer with 28 points including 15 in the 4th.

Of course, there are some major changes in the lineups for Orlando - Alston is playing instead of Nelson (a downgrade) and Lee and Pietrus are combining to put up amazing numbers at SG while playing tremendous defense (an upgrade). The Lakers are missing Radmonovic from the 2nd game but now have Shannon Brown. If anything, this will make the Lakers worse since Radmonovic was tall enough to guard Turkoglu whereas Shannon Brown certainly is not tall enough for that task.

2. "Nobody makes me bleed my own blood - nobody!"

This is what Bynum, Odom, and Gasol are going to be saying after Howard starts working them over. Howard is a dirty player who does moving picks, "accidentally" swings his arms around up high, and walks around with his elbows up high. In the end though, all dirtiness aside, no one on the Lakers can guard Howard. Gasol's too weak, Bynum will foul out, and I don't see how Odom can handle this challenge. Thus, the Lakers will either get destroyed on the inside by Howard, or will be forced to rotate all around after double teams are initiated (as the Cavs did to a relatively poor degree). I don't believe this stategy will work, as it seems like an easier path to victory is having a big man that can keep Howard out of the paint (i.e. Kendrick Perkins). The Lakers don't have that.

3. It's time to separate the wheat from the chaff, the men from the boys, the awkwardly feminine from the possibly Canadian.

As alluded to earlier as an "upgrade", I think Courtney Lee is an amazing defender and a sophisticated, gritty scorer. Pietrus has shown to be a good 3-point shooter and is also a great defender, even if he gets in foul trouble. Lee & Pietrus will enable the Magic to take care of Kobe at a relatively decent level (i.e. hold him below his average). The game then could come down to Lewis guarding Pau Gasol. Gasol did not take many shots in either game during the season, so again, I think the edge goes to the Magic. I believe Odom vs. Turkoglu (or Ariza vs. Turkoglu?) will be rather even. This means that the Magic will have the upper hand at a number of positions. While Rafer Alston is a downgrade from Nelson, I believe the upgrade will make up for Nelson's loss, as it has throughout the postseason. The Magic could have an advantage at 3 or maybe even 4 positions (forward, SF, center, and point guard).

4. Yeah, that's me, taking the bull by the horns. It's how I handle business. It's a metaphor.

Dwight Howard has esentially done this in the Cavs series. He started nailing hook shots and free throws - which is what he failed to do against Boston and throughout most of his career. Howard's dominance will result in the continuation of the Magic's run through the playoffs, which after beating the Lakers will mean that they will end up completing the amazing task of beating the other 3 contenders this postseason (Boston, Cleveland, and the Lakers).

5. "Necessary? Is it necessary for me to drink my own urine?"

The Lakers will have to rotate around very fast if they double on Howard. They will have to do whatever is necessary to limit Howard's effectiveness. I just don't believe it will happen. The Magic should be able to relatively limit Kobe, dominate the boards, dominate at center, and have enough of an advantage with Lewis and Turkoglu to win this.

6. "Here at Globo Gym we're better than you, and we know it. "

Phil Jackson and Kobe saying this repeatedly after losing one game, two games, or three games, won't do anything to change the outcome.

7. Last I heard, my gym makes money. Yours doesn't. My gym's worth over $4 million. Your gym isn't worth four. I have shareholders. You haven't even got cup holders.

It's time for some cosmic payback. Shaq left the Orlando Magic in the '90s after an NBA Finals loss to sign with the Lakers. The Lakers went on to win three championships with Shaq and all Orlando had was what was left of Penny Hardaway's knee. Well, be prepared Lakers, because your gym may be worth more than the Orlando Magic's, but the Magic fans have revenge on their mind!

8. "Prepare to be humiliated on cable television! "

This is what Orlando will be saying to the Lakers after they win one game and realize that their championship is inevitable.
Prediction: Orlando in 6