Mighty's Odd Crystal Ball and Other Random Predictions

Well it's an odd time to whip out ye old crystal ball but what the hey....why not. I'm short on ideas, material, and cheetos (the source of inspiration for all bloggers)



1. UF Gators will Return to the Mythical BCS Championship

In a truly WTF moment the fates have seemingly conspired to give the most loaded Champion since USC, the easiest road. Seriously, check out their schedule . Their only semi-tough game is a road trip to Death Valley (LSU). Non-Conference games against Troy? Charleston Southern (not even regular Charleston....Charleston Fucking Southern)? And remember Florida can absorb one loss somewhere along the way and still make it to the SEC Championship game which I believe has officially been designated the Mythical BCS semi-final game. I refuse to use the Crystal Ball to see if the slurping of Tebow reaches such a feverish pitch that it threatens the Space-Time continuum but go ahead and try.....short of Tebow being attacked by Ninja Man-Bats does anyone see UF losing more than 1 game?


2. UT will Not Make the BCS Championship Game

Yes there's hype, pomp, and circumstance behind Colt Mccoy and UT. They'll be home against semi-rival Texas Tech and the Big 12 typically is a two person conference anyways. However call the Crystal Ball crazy or what have you...but how often do the two expected teams at the start of the year end up playing at the end year? Not very often. So if Florida is shoe in...then Texas has to falter. Maybe USC will finally avoid losing to the Stanford Tough Grannies or Ok State and Dez Bryant (possible Heisman candidate they offer before giving it to the best QB in the BCS Championship game) will trip up UT in Stillwater (which is a real place according to Googlemaps) but they're going down.



3. Dwight Howard will Dominate the Finals



I should note at this point Dwight Howard has pushed himself into the category of Mighty's Most Hated NBA Player. He's an idiot, he cheats, and above all he's dirty. Its like watching Karl Malone's Swinging Elbow Show all over again. Personally I hope he has to retire due to case of hemorraghic fever of the anus. Which means he will excel. He'll dominate. He'll foul out Andrew Bynum. He'll bite off Paul Gasol's ear. He'll dunk on Phil Jackson (I'm not sure how but he will). I'll be forced to watch stupid Vitamin Water Commercials with him wrestling a Giant Gila Monster. There will be no end to my suffering. So it'll be me and Rupert trying to cope.

4. Bobby Bowden Will Retire

Its been a long time coming but with the NCAA about to finalize the voiding of several seasons of FSU/Bowden wins, Bowden will be unable to catch JoePa's all time wins record. He might wait out the year to prove that he hasn't been stealing the souls of Mayan Warriors for the sole purpose of staving off death so he could catch JoePa. But once the NCAA makes it final, the sun will finally set on the crazy old man from FSU.