Are you Saner than an SEC Coach?

If that coach is Derek Dooley...the answer is yes. And I don't care who you are. The answer is always yes. I've watched the video of Tennessee's head coach Derek Dooley's press conference a few times and the number of questions I have about comparing your team to Nazis is really limitless. I'm still not sure what he said or why he said it or what drugs he's on or what drugs he should be on. Watch the video and see if you can make heads or tails of it.

"Right now we're like the Germans in World War II. Here comes the boats, they're coming. You have the binoculars, and it's like, 'Oh, my God, the invasion is coming.' That's what they did, they were in the bunkers. It's coming, they call Rommel -- they can't find Rommel. (Pretending to speak into a radio.) 'What do we do? I'm not doing anything until I get orders.' (Pretends to look through binoculars.) 'Have you gotten Rommel yet?'

"All right, and the Americans were the exact opposite. We hit the beach, and we were on the wrong spot. 'What do we do?' 'I don't know, but these guys are firing and we better hide over there and blow some stuff up to get up there.' They weren't looking for (help). That's where we've got to make that transition.

"I don't want the German people to get upset at me. I'm not attacking them, but that's what happened. You had one group, they weren't worried about what the plan was and orders and all that. When the war hits, things change. You've got to go. You had the other group, and they go, 'Wait a minute. They told us the invasion was way further north' where we had the empty tanks and we were hiding Patton out. 'We weren't ready for this, now what do we do?' 'We better wait until Rommel tells us what to do.'

"I hope I got my names right."

Cheers and Jeers: Raging Bull Edition

Ingredients:

• 2 1/2 cl Kahlua
• 2 1/2 cl Sambuca
• 1 cl Tequila

And so we have reached the nadir of college football. 3 straight years of SEC dominance. 2 out 3 years of Mullet country being champion. The only hope on the horizon of dethroning them lies in the University of Spoiled Children. The Big 10 reduced to Big Least status . Heck even here in Columbus fans steeled themselves on with a "moral victory" in the Fiesta Bowl. "Moral Victory"? Really? Perhaps my structural explanations are over done. Perhaps decades of population and wealth loss don't have any effect on a process thats based on population and wealth. Perhaps simply the Big 10 and Big 12 being ruled by the coaching equivalents of Marty Schottheimers (Tressel and Stoops) is the bigger difference as the votes and wins accrue to the college overlords of Meyers, Saban and Carroll. But until perceptions are changed on the field (somehow) prepare for a long and cold dark winter of discontent to those in the non-South.

Uncertain Jeers: To the Browns hiring Mangini. C&J was initially unambiguously undecided in our stance on the hire. Mangini's tenure with the Jets was mixed, Mangini's qualifications relative to other possible candidates available was mixed and the local fan reception was mixed. However at the end of the day unhappiness over process won the day. Why the rush? Why not hire a President/GM first? The Lerners have a record of failure only surpassed by the Fords in pro football since returning 1999. If the Browns said it was raining my initial reaction would be to assume that we were in the middle of drought (when he talks generally the Cheney effect of assuming whatever he says is full of shit is called into play). So now the Browns by hiring the coach first have basically tied their hands as to who the GM will be and consequently right drafting, right free agency and more generally an organization will probably be short changed. Perhaps its doom and gloom but the evidence so far is that if the decision is made by the Browns owner is the wrong one.

Hire the GM first? Uhh no Dude, that had no occurred to us

Cheers: To Big Games. Celtics v. Cavs tonight for an early season giant showdown. Our man on the scene Gutsy will be attending the game and will provide feedback. While sometimes playoff seeding is over-rated matchups are not. At some point I think the basketball world will realize that Orlando is no mirage. Dwight Howard is a beast and the team has surrounded him with an array of quality outside shooters (its like a modern version of the Olajuawan's Rockets). The Cavs in particular do not matchup well with Orlando (given their collapse D mentality). In any event of 3 big Eastern Conference teams only one will avoid a tough second round matchup.

Cheers: Great Cartoon Intros of the 1990s

Jeers: C&J does not approve of smash and grab doll orgies

And your C&J gal of the week......Abigail Clancy

College Football: A New Season and New Questions

Well its a new college football season and while its nearly impossible to follow everything here's a few storylines I came up with to follow


1) Top Team v. Schedule From Hell - Georgia has possibly the hardest schedule I've seen for a top ranked team, can they survive the gauntlet? The world's biggest Cocktail Party between Florida and Georgia could decide a trip to the BCS Championship Game

2) New Faces in New Places - The odd couple of sleezy Neuheisel and standup Chow in UCLA, RichRod in West Fucking Virginia North, Houston Nutt at U of Missippi,

3) Building on Success - Arizona State, Pitt, Clemson, Missouri, Illinois, Kansas all made huge strides last season. Can they break into the big boy land?

4) Year 2 - Year 2s have been good for coaches this decade...will it be good for king of douchebags Nick Saban

5) Last Stands - Its odd that in different ways Ty Willingham and Charlie Weis in many ways have their backs to the walls. Repeats of last year and well at least one won't survive.

6) Terrell Pryor and Tim Tebow- Come on. You know you're curious if they can live up to the hype

7) Hegemon in Decline? USC lost a number of games it shouldn't have (umm Stanford anyone) and were beginning to exhibit classic symptoms of hegemon in decline. However USC continues to win the big games by big margins against any and all not named Vince Young. So what about this year? Is this the year like the U at the start of the decade that the program crashes or will its unparalleled recruiting success let it continue on...

8) The Great Conference Debate- The SEC is ascendant and the Big 10 is despondent. Conventional wisdom in the land of subjective polling is king. Will anything change the meme?

What else do we have out there?

You Stay Classy Contest

Lloyd Carr v. Urban Meyer


Its too close to call. Thanking seniors and reminding them to get degrees or taking dumps on players. I dunno. This is a toughie....

Although this would confirm reports Meyer had already sold his soul....