5th Street: Politics and Prime Time

1. What is the most important football game of the year? The answer is of course next week's game Washington v. Green Bay. The simple fact is that the last Redskins game before the election determines the who will be the next president. Everytime (and I mean every) Washington has won, the incumbent has won. Every time Washington has lost, the challenger has won. The most famous instance was when Harry S. Truman himself returned a punt 67 yards for a touchdown, sealing Washington's victory over Dewey. This year (as in the regular election) the Supreme Court will be affecting the outcome. Antoine "Slingin" Scalia will be running the option play with Clarence Thomas while Green Bay's secondary will get a boost from Ruth "Iron Maiden" Ginsburg.

2. How are the Packers looking? Well they (along with Kansas City) starred this past weekend in Night of the Living Dead. You know the movie where the dead come back to life to terrorize the living. Yep two teams that looked like they were heading to the big Adios whooped up on their opponents. If Kansas City can score 8 rushing touchdowns (as they did against Atlanta) every game theyll be in good shape. If Green Bay can stop Slingin Scalia next week, they might make the playoffs yet.

3. I confess I suffer from philosophy (literally greek for love of wisdom). Over at ESPN they suffer from philodeon (greek for love of Deon Sanders). Deon's back and yes espn showed like 15 clips of him returning his INT for touchdown. Yes I know Deon's ego is so massive it has its own gravity and yes I know Deon (even at his peak) couldn't tackle an 85 year old woman propped up by her walker. But Deon with his touchdown moved into 2nd on the all-time INT for TD list so in honor of that say it with me "PRIME TIME, PRIME TIME"

4. Also in honor of Deon I will type the next segment Deon style (i.e wearing a purple suit and an over-sized fedora) Also I will only speak in 3rd person. What did Michael predict for MLB? Oh yes Boston over St.Louis. Was Michael worried when Boston was down 3-0. Michael was not. Was Michael worried when St.Louis was down 3-2 . Michael was not. That is because Michael is always right. Michael will guarentee Boston's World Series win. And you can print that

The River (Random Facts)
Self-Promotion of the Week: Oh Jacksonville wins another close game. Haven't I been saying this all season? Its about time the national gurus started paying attention to the HMS Leftwich. This QB and team are playoff bound I tell you.

Suprise of the Week: Arizona over Seattle. I was debating if this should be the choke of the week but I'll give Dennis Green the nod.

NBA prediction of the Week: Al Jefferson (Celtics) or Dwight Howard (Magic) will be rookie of the year. Tim Duncan will be the MVP.

Boring Game of the Week: Penn State losing 6-4. This is supposed to be football not tennis.

Deja Vu of the Week: A mobile quarterback marching his team against the Browns in OT to set up the winning field. I think I've seen this movie before. If history is any guide, McNabb, like Elway, will be crushed in his first Super Bowl appearance.

Question of the Week: Would you rather have Sean Salisbury, Joe Theisman or an Oompa Loompa announcing a game? I would prefer an Oompa Loompa because then you'd at least get a song.