5th Street: Monkey's Flipping Coins: Part Deux

You may wonder, its Sunday, why is the 5th street being published tonight? Well the answer is that this author is suffering from p.e.s.d. or as psychologists are begining to call it pre-election stress disorder. I can't take it anymore. As such the 5th street is undergoing a mandatory (and needed) media blackout for the next 24-36 hrs. This piece is going to short, quick and bam then itll be done.

The Flop
1. Well as my co-author correctly surmized: monkey's flinging poo would have a better chance at hitting the correct team then anyone I know. The NFL these days clearly standing for No Fucking Logic. Obviously the Giants after getting beaten like a rented mule by Detroit was going to stomp on Minnesota. Obviously Atlanta which lost by like 50 gagillion (which I believe is 46) last week would suddenly discover an offense and beat Denver. Buffalo which so far this year has amassed negative yardage would crush the rising Cardinals. None of this makes any bit of sense. I think the best thing you can do is grab hold of something and not make any predictions on the NFL. Instead we should try something safer like diffusing a bomb or having a long meaningful relationship with Brittney Spears.

2. The one constancy in the NFL left us this week. The Patroits and their 21 game winning streak got snapped by the Pittsburgh Steelers. Why? Well the obviously culprit is that Corey Dillon was missing. The second is Heinz Field's turf (why do I get the feeling that they just paint the dirt green there). New England also I don't think is team exactly built for the long come back. This team hadn't been behind in a game, since their streak started, by more than 7 points. It showed today when they became a one dimensional catch-up squad.

3. Who is the mid-term MVP? I have to give it to Ben Roethlisberger. Pittsburgh was going nowhere with Maddox (well maybe hanging with the Browns and Bengals in missing playoffs again land). All he does is win. For a rookie quarterback to be so accourate and so calm (even against the vaunted Patroits D) is amazing. The fact that Pittsburgh now controls its own playoff destiny is miraculous.

The Turn
4. I could use this place to say "I told you so" about the Boston Red Sox, but I won't. I don't think it was some genius move. In simple SAT analogy New York's payroll is to Boston's payroll as Boston's payroll is to the rest of the league's. The Red Sox and their supposed curse bought their way to a title. You don't add a Curt Schilling and say it was only team spirit that defeated the ghost of the Bambino. Yes hats off to boy genius Theo Epstein for finding the missing pieces to lead Boston to the promised land but let's be real when your payroll is over 100 million you have that kind of maneuvering space. And if anyone cries about Boston being broken up, remember whoever replaces the current squad - that squad will be filled with all-star players that Boston outbid to get.

5. The River (Random Thoughts)
Packers won on Halloween (superstition is running high) Houston had a big win today over Jacksonville but it may be a pyrrhic victory with the loss of David Carr (and yes I did use an SAT word). I think Steve Spurrior will be back at Florida in no time and I'm sure he'll run up the score against Vanderbilt in attempt to prove that he's a good coach (not that good Steve, I think the NFL proved that one). Miami, FSU and Florida all lost this week for the first time since 1978. I think the big man up top is punishing them for something. I think the NBA's division of death (better known as the Southwest) will be tough. But Dallas might keep its playoff hopes alive with the help of Dampier (aka finally a rebounder) , Marquis Daniels and Jason Terry (Steve Nash's replacement). I think this year's NBA final will be Detroit v. Minnesota (unless Sports Illustrated picks that and then I'll have to come up with something else)