Week 8 - Monkeys Flipping Coins

That's right, a monkey flipping a coin could have fared better than my 7-7 week last week. The NFL is a completely unpredictable game, but that's why we watch the games. Let's give some shoutouts to last weeks performers:
Browns- hanging w/ the Eagles. If they would have beaten them, they may have lost out the season due to the hangover from the post-party.
Bengals- I still don't understand why Denver didn't even exert the effort of their pinky fingers. Look at how soft the Bengals secondary is!

Ok, game-time.

Manwich Matchup of the Week-
Indy @ KC-
What a difference a week makes. KC scored 56 points on a top defense (or at least they WERE a top defense) and Indy lost to Jacksonville. This is also a rematch of last year's playoff game, when the Chiefs defense had no idea how to stop the Colts. Plenty of emotion, but I've got to apply the rule that "IF you win by too much, THEN you are doomed in the next couple of weeks." The Chiefs will just get too comfortable, thinking they are back in it. Not yet.
Pick: Indy

Upset of the Week-
Jacksonville @ Houston-
Classic trap game for Jacksonville, perfect scheduling for Houston. Jacksonville just beat the Colts, the kind of victory that is top-billing on ESPN.com. Meanwhile, in the polluted city of Houston, Houston has had the bye week to completely dissect the Jaguars. I think people's heads will spin if Houston can pull this off. We could have an insane 3-way battle in the AFC South!
Pick: Houston

Arizona @ Buffalo-
The only sure thing is that Arizona has a good defense and that they play well at home. Their defense should have a field day on a Buffalo offense that just has no idea how to operate.
Pick: Arizona

Baltimore @ Philly-
Ok, ok, ok. So, Prime-time actually helped the Ravens win a game last week. That was the Bills though, and this is the Eagles. The "Jamal Lewis is missing theory" better pick me up a game this week. In addition, now that the Eagles actually had a close game, they will restart their usual smackdowns on opponents.
Pick: Philly

Cincinnati @ Tennesee-
I only have 1 theory for how the Bengals turned things around last week:
After the Browns thoroughly embarrassed the Bengals and Chad Johnson dropped 18 balls in Week 6, the locker room was just depressed. And then, Rudi Johnson got up, and sang to Chad Johnson, "You Gotta Have Heart... You Gotta have heart...[From "Damn Yankees"]
Then the march to mediocrity continued.
Pick: Cincinnati

Detroit @ Dallas-
The Lions are road warriors. I swear. Also, I sure am glad that Vinny Testaverde has returned to earth. It's probably due to the fact that everyone realized the Cowboys have zero running game.
Pick: Detroit

Green Bay @ Washington-
This may be the most important game on the schedule. If statistics never lie, then get this (as said by Cohen)- If Washington wins, the incumbent (Bush) wins. If Washington loses, the challenger (Kerry) wins. This is historically proven, amazingly.
Ahman Green, please hold on to that ball!
Pick: Kerry

NY Giants @ Minnesota-
This game concerns me, but I'm still going with the Vikings. Do you think the Vikings grow RBs in a petri dish? Whoever starts is a guaranteed fantasy stud.
Pick: Minnesota

Atlanta @ Denver-
Wow. Last week, these 2 division winners were playing losing teams with no heart. And both of these teams failed me by losing. Now, they get to see who can rebound fastest. Unfortunately, the Falcons don't have a passing game to take advantage of the suddenly ineffective Champ Bailey.
Pick: Denver

Carolina @ Seattle-
I seriously couldn't tell you the last time either of these teams met my expectations.
Pick: Seattle

New England @ Pittsburgh-
I met a girl last weekend who showed me a picture on her cell phone of her and Roethlisberger, taken 4 minutes earlier in the same hotel hallway that I was in. Yes, I was just a few minutes away from meeting the Rookie Redhawk Sensation.
Pick: New England

Oakland @ San Diego-
I'm starting to get the feeling that Coach Schottenheimer has abandoned his "conservative" play calling that he used on the '90s Chiefs and he has returned to his '80s Browns playbook. I'm also guessing, he no longer had a copy of it, but was thankful that the 1986 Browns (and their playbook) were available on Madden '05 this year.
Pick: San Diego

San Francisco @ Chicago-
Craig Krenzel finally got some playing time! Let's give him a standing ovation!
Too bad Ken Dorsey isn't playing. We could have had a rematch of the College Championship.
Pick: San Fran

Miami @ NY Jets-
The moustache vs. the gunslinger (Pennington). Gunslinger sounds more dangerous.
Pick: NY Jets

Last Week: 7-7
Season: 65-37
Manwich Matchup: 3-4 (I know, rooting for the Patriots is like rooting for the Yankees)
Upset Special: 4-3 (I told someone that if the Ravens D scored any touchdowns I was in big trouble. I hate you Deion. I hope they promote you to full time CB so Owens can burn you for 4 Touchdowns)