Well its officially the end of the football season. New England is once again champs and starting today all the football pundits go back doing whatever it is that they do in the off-season (Peter King hangs with his family, Norman Chad gambles and Sean Salisbury is put into a cryogenic freezer). Its been a lot of fun writing about football and in honor of the man that inspired me (read Norman Chad) I've decided to write in his style for my Super Bowl Coverage
6:20 PM So I've seen 2 Presidents, an ex-Beatle and John Travolta..wait John Travolta..how the hell did he get on TV as a famous celebrity? Is it just me or did it feel like the pre-game show started like Friday.
6:25 Bill Belichek walks on to the field and heads to the Eagles sideline accidently. How embaressing! Why does Belichek always look like he just stole the clothes off of a hobo? The sad part is that his outfit is that took 5 Laos girls working double shifts to make it and it probably costs like 200 dollars.
6:28 T.O. enters the playing field. Sure he's hopped on Jesus and can't feel pain but I believe the real reason for his recovery is the hyperbolic chamber he used. That thing is incrediable. I'm not sure what exactly it does but damn I bet if I used one I could do lots of amazing things (which at the moment tend to involve making a tasty sandwhich)
6:30 Game Starts
6:31 First Commercial. This year the commercials were so-so. I liked the budweiser ones, and anything that involves monkeys but was fairly perplexed why this was the year of MC Hammer. Explain how he got two seperate commercial spots?
7:00 Brady fumbles the ball and in the ensuing riot Philly recovers. Not only did the Philly players punch Brady in the kidney's during the pile-up by Philly D Coordinator ran into the stands to sucker punch Brady's family. Now thats a tough D
7:40 By in large Brady has been untouched by the Eagles Blitzing. Their O-Line never gets any credit but thats the strength of team. In both the Pittsburgh and Eagles game Brady was by in large untouched and unhurried.
7:45 Mike Martz order Marshall Faulk into the flats and out for some wings. Now that is a genius move.
Sometime before I fall asleep: New England once again wins by 3. Terrible onside kick by David Akers gave the Eagles no real chance to come back. And the collective media continues its brown nosing of Boston and the Patriots. The Patroits are coronated as the greatest team since Julius Caesar's army sacked Gaul.
And thats the season. Its been a wacky season from Rams come behind victory to Butch Davis having a mental breakdown to Randy Moss' ass being newsworthy.
Luckily my hypocrisy knows no bounds so I'll be back to give coverage on the NBA, NCAA basketball and even (gasp) a Spring Training guide to baseball. I, unlike the NFL network, will not be covering the OWNER's meeting. If you want to learn more about rich, white guys making decisions that affect America I suggest you watch C-SPAN.
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I had no idea that Norman Chad also inspired you. He should open his own university.
I think every year, the Super Bowl should add a word to the common-man's vocab. This year, that word was "hyperbolic chamber". Last year, the word was "wardrobe malfunction."
I can't believe how much the media praises this team. 3 super bowls in 4 years is good and all, but seriously, I'd take the '60s Packers, '70s Steelers, '80s 49ers, '80-'91 Redskins, or the '90s Cowboys before this team.
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