FYI – Edgar Styles is this large, chubby, Info Technology guy on “24”. All last season, any time someone called CTU (it's like the FBI & CIA combined), the call ALWAYS went to Edgar’s desk. I think it went there for comedy purposes. And every time, Edgar would say “Edgar Styles, CTU” in a voice similar to the “Have you seen my baseball?” from Something About Mary. Only thing is, Edgar Styles is supposed to be a brilliant computer nerd, not mentally retarded. This season on 24, Edgar Styles tried to sound more normal, and said “Styles, CTU”. Regardless, here’s to you Edgar Styles, for inspiring my NBA Midseason Report!
Gutsy: "Gutsy Goldberg, Back Seat Drivers?”
Caller: "This is Mike D. in Golden State. Who do you think is the most surprising team of the first half of the NBA Season?"
Obviously, the top choice is the LA Clippers. Not since the days of Danny Manning, Ron Harper, and Mark Jackson have things been this exciting for LA’s OTHER team. Elton Brand and Sam Cassell have the Clippers playing amazingly. In fact, they’ve never even been 11 games over .500 until just now! It’s a real pathetic club history they have. Everything they do this season works out. They told Chris Kaman, who looks like an axe murderer, to wear his hair as ugly as possible (see picture below).
Even that has been working, as it obviously scares the opponents. My only word of warning, is that they will have to hope that Shaun Livingston, their young PG, is ready to be healthy and play more often next season. Sam Cassell, the starting PG, has been on 5 other teams already, and he usually wears out his welcome at some point. Hell, the Timberwolves situation deterioated rapidly just last year! But for now, I only hope these guys kick some butt in the playoffs.Gutsy: "Gutsy Goldberg, Back Seat Drivers?”
Caller: "This is David W. in New Orleans. Which team do you think has been most disappointing this season? Go Hornets."
There are a lot of contenders for this spot, the Knicks, Sonics, Kings, and Celtics have all arguably been much worse than envisioned. The Houston Rockets get the nod though for the dubious honor. Through a combination of injuries to Yao and T-Mac, plus a bench full of past-their-prime players (Juwan Howard, Derek Anderson, David Wesley, Dikembe Mutumbo), the Rockets are scoring the 2nd-least amount of points in the league (89 ppg). If it was only 1996, not 2006, that might prove to be more successful. If they get healthy, there’d be a chance they can make some noise, but I think the hole they dug in the 1st half is too big to get out of.
Gutsy: "Gutsy Goldberg, Back Seat Drivers?”
Caller: "Antonio M. here in Detroit, home of the Super Bowl XL. What has proven to be the best/worst acquisition from the offseason? And remember, Dick Cheney's decision to bring a buddy on his hunting trip doesn't count as an acquisition."
Well, at this point, the best/worst acquisition is actually in the same trade. The Timberwolves gave up Sam Cassell and a protected 1st-round pick for Marko Jaric. Who is Marko Jaric you say? He’s a guy who many teams coveted this off-season (including the Cavs) and was supposed to be the T-wolves answer at PG. Unfortunately for the T-wolves, they’ve already realized that Jaric is worthless, and he has hardly even gotten off the bench since the T-wolves acquired a PG from Boston (Banks). Meanwhile, the Clippers have definitely been enjoying Sam Cassell’s play!
Gutsy: "Gutsy Goldberg, Back Seat Drivers?”
Caller: "Charles B. from here in Atlanta. Who are some breakout players thus far in the season? And if you say Darko, I will kill you."
The most shocking thing is the Dallas Mavericks starting center, former Cavalier DeSagna Diop. Because the Mavs get enough offense from Dirk, Jason Terry, Stackhouse, and Josh Howard, the Mavs have the luxury of using Diop merely for his defensive presence. He doesn’t play many minutes (18 per game) but its been working for the Mavs.
Other breakout players include… every acquisition by the Phoenix Suns! Boris Diaw, a “throw-in” as part of the Joe Johnson trade to the Hawks, is actually incredible! The Suns management not only knows how to out-coach other teams, they do serious scouting. James Jones (acquired in exchange for a 2nd-round pick) and Raja Bell (a free agent) are also experiencing career seasons after never making even a blip on the radar. The coaches at Phoenix are amazing, they have a great offensive system, and the team hasn’t even gotten Amare Stoudemire back yet! Okay, no more exclamation marks the rest of the article.
Gutsy: "Gutsy Goldberg, Back Seat Drivers?”
Caller: "This is Mark P. calling from Cleveland. What’s your outlook for the Finals at this point? I can't think of any original questions to ask."
Well, it’s always tough to make original questions. Of course, my pre-season pick of Spurs over Pacers is very unlikely, because the Pacers are just a mess at this point. If I had to revise, it’s impossible to pick against the Spurs over the Pistons. Of course, the Spurs-Mavs unavoidable 2nd-round matchup should determine the NBA Champion. Just to rant yet again about this, thanks to the stupid seeding system of the NBA, division winners are guaranteed the top 3, so the 2nd best team of either the Spurs/Mavs will have to play the #1 seed, which will be the better of the Spurs/Mavs. I hate you David Stern. Anyway, that Spurs-Mavs matchup should be incredible.
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