- 2 oz Tequila
- 1/2 oz Campari
- 4 oz Ginger ale
This week MJ and I have been having a friendly back and forth on the merits of blocking bad choices in the world of politics. However in the world of sports there is no debate. Second only to the joys of having your team win is seeing teams you hate go down in a Hindenburgesque fashion. Fans in Washington exploded in an orgy of fireworks and hanging Joe Buck (possibly in effigy) after the Cowboys went down in defeat. Every North Carolina fan prays every night for Andre the Giant to return to life and hit Coach K with a steel chair. Every week Yankees fans debate the effectiveness of bear traps on Big Pappi. Chicago Fans try set to fire to Wisconsin Cheese every year (silly Chicagoans you need Magic Greek pixie dust to set fire to cheese). And so friends I bring you a guide to which to team you should want Massacred.
Reason's to Hate New England
Bill Belichek:Used cameras, mics, and tapped phone lines to cheat. Had an affair with a married woman. Steals clothes from Hobos
Tom Brady: Left pregnant girlfriend, hangs with George Bush Jr. Had an affair with a married man (Peter King)
Rodney Harrison: Uses Steriods, Dirtiest player since Bill Romanowski , stole souls belonging to a Pawnee Tribe
Other Reasons: Bill Simmons is a douche and likes the Pats
Reason's to Hate Chargers
Norv Turner: History of Sucking, Hideous Visage, Smells of Ben-Gay
Phillip Rivers: Reminds everyone of Greg Marmalard. Beat up several kids involved in the Punt, Pass, Kick competition. Forced Tomlinson into the Witness Protection Program.
Shawn Merriman: Uses Steriods. Stupid Lights-Out dance is offensive to those with terets. Shawn Merriman Foundation lobbies to stop porn on the internet
Other Reasons to Hate: San Diego is based on the illegal whale vagina trade
Reasons to Hate the Packers
Mike McCarthy:I don't know a thing about Mike McCarthy but I do know he stands for everything you hate
Brett Favre: Caused prices in pain killers to sky rocket in late 1990s. Dick-Tease (maybe I'll retire, maybe I won't, maybe I'll fly away to Cabo with Peter King, maybe I won't) . Beard won't grow past grizzled phase.
Charles Woodson: Won't wear dreadlocks like the rest of the Packers secondary.
Al Harris: Refused to honor contract and kill Danny Glover in Predator II (Glover had a contract put on his life for his failure to kill Mel Gibson when he had the chance).
Reasons to Hate the Giants
Tom Coughlin: Hates Earth's greatest natural resource: sun glasses. Dislikes clocks. Kills Hobos
Elisha Manning: Foundation trying to steer youths to squash. Inconsistent. Won't let me play with his Transformer toys
Brandon Jacobs: Can't catch. Makes MJ's hero, Ron Dayne, look like a bust. Won't speak his native language of Yiddish in public.
Other Reasons: Win by Giants might bring back Gozer the Gozerian.
So there's your guide. Now go forth and bring hate into the sports world on Sunday...
........and now some cheering and jeering
Jeers: To the Writer's Strike. Ughh there's nothing on tv. What am I supposed to do, read? Not to say I don't support the writers. As the BSD's resident workman's circle stock owner (that's code for socialist) I always support striking workers. I'm also the sites resident science expert, toy appraiser, stunt cock, and caterer.
Cheers: To Mit Romney's Michigan win. Not that I support Mit Romney. I disagree vehemently with his Pro-Clown platform. However a win by Mit should keep the Presidential primary going longer which means I have something to watch while TV is on strike.
Cheers: To Tracy Morgan. Who's spending time during the strike doing karate and trying to get females pregnant
Jeers: 2007 turns out was only the 5th warmest year on record. Come on guys we need to kick this global warming thing into high gear in 2008 and kick 2005s ass (the current record holder). And no - 2007 being the warmest on record on Earth's land areas does not count. That's only 1/4 of the area on Earth. Thats barely 25%. (note C&J is not responsible for division errors)
Your Sean Taylor Memorial Beatdown of the Week: Goes to the Packers win over the Seahawks. After spotting team Holmgren 14 points the Packers marched on the Seahawks at will racking up like 40 million yards and 20,000 points (note C&J is also not responsible for adding or reading mistakes). Frankly I'm not sure if the Pack even have a Punter. Congrats Packers on your beatdown.
And the C&J Gal of the Week ....the return of Gemma Atkinson. Cuz she's that damn good
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