NFL Preview: Falling Stars Edition

It is almost training camp time. Time to lace up those shoes, put on the shoulder pads, grit those teeth and turn on the television (note padding might not be necessary for non-Browns fans). The NFL horizontal parity should continue into this year. In English that means every year about 50% of the teams that made the playoffs in the previous year will fail to make it this coming year. Now a lot of the failure to make the playoffs has to do with injuries. I'm willing to bet that the Colts or Seahawks or Patriots will fail to make the playoffs in their starting QB goes down writhing in pain in week 3. Injuries are typically randomly distributed and as such pretty much next to impossible to predict. So injuries aside here is my list of those who made the playoffs last year most likely not to make the playoffs this year (or in the parlance of our time - Fading Stars)

1. Tampa Bay - Tampa Bay seems like the classic one playoff season in and the next out team. Shaky quarterback - check. All new offensive line - check. Much tougher schedule - double check. Tampa will have to face the NFC East and AFC North which adds up to a very small margin for error. Too much for a team that seems to have a razor thin margin to make it back to the playoffs.

2. Jacksonville - Jacksonville doesn't have the burden of a tougher schedule but I think they are at risk. Last year they seemed to win all their games in close fashion - a red flag in my book. Duplicating small margin wins year after year requires a great special teams of which Jacksonville does not have. A possible QB controversy, an injury prone starting QB paints a train wreck possibility waiting to happen. Finally don't underestimate the impact of Jimmy Smith's retirement. Jacksonville really doesn't have a number one receiver anymore.

3. Seattle - There really is nothing wrong with Seattle (maybe the lost of a Pro Bowl guard and Joe Jurvicious who bailed them out more times than I can count). There's also really nothing right with the NFC West. However they are battling history. For the past 5 odd reasons (odd I believe equal to plus or minus 2) no Super Bowl loser has qualified for the playoffs the next year. Seattle's season was a little too perfect - (read no injuries). This year everyone will be gunning for them. Pressure and history makes Seattle's return risky.

4. New England - Lost game's best kicker. Lost a key receiver. Lost key linebacker. Relying on old safety coming back from major new surgery. Relying on rookie (for running back). Any other team and the media would be crying out the sky is falling. New England typically gets a pass because Bill Belicheck can walk on water or turns lead into gold or keeps the moon in his jump suit or whatever is the latest claim. Miami should be better this year and you would be hard pressed to explain why New England will be better next year.

5/6. New York Football Giants and Washington Redskins - Nothing against these two teams personally but the NFC East should be brutal which means any inopportune injury, any slow start, any fluke fumble and their playoff chances will go down faster than Britney Spears career.

7/8 - Pittsburgh/Cinci - Recovering QB Injury Syndrome (RQIS). If Palmer or Rothlisberger play at 80% or less this year those teams chances are way down too. Personally I think Rothlisberger will take a lot longer to recover than is widely being reported. Anyone that has had any sort of oral surgery or tooth ache knows how tender the face is and how susceptible you are to mind numbing headaches. Now imagine you had six hours of oral/facial surgery for multiple breaks. Yeah you might be throwing ball in a few weeks but taking a hit…now that’s a very different story .

Back In Business

Bobby Cremins, one of my all-time favorite college basketball coaches, is coming out of retirement to take over the hoops program at the College of Charleston.

Although it’s been a while since he last worked in collegiate athletics, I like Cremins’ chances of doing a good job on the recruitment front. He was able to turn Georgia Tech into a power for a stretch of nearly 15 years by attracting top point guards to his program (Mark Price, Kenny Anderson, Stephon Marbury, and Travis Best) and he seemed to have cornered the market on blue chippers from the New York market.

If Cremins can work some of that same magic, the College of Charleston will be a regional powerhouse for those second-tier and troubled recruits that don’t make it into the top SEC and ACC schools.

Cheers and Jeers: Gladiator Edition

Ingredients:

• 1/2 oz Amaretto
• 1/2 oz Southern Comfort
• 2 oz Orange juice
• 2 oz 7-Up

Cheers and Jeers is coming a little early so I can comment on the oncoming gladiator battle that is World Cup. Now I thought the best way to express the joys of the elite eight competitions is to compare it what we Americans know a little better College Basketball. Plus it keeps up the college basketball theme of the NBA draft.

World Cup Matchups

Germany (Duke) v. Argentina (Michigan State) - Germany is technically sound, well coached and seems to always make it to this stage in the game. However they rarely break through to actually win anything because of a lack of athleticism. Argentina is one of the deepest and most athletic teams. They have won it but tend to overshadowed by other teams.

Pick: Argentina

Italy - (Georgetown) v Ukraine - (Memphis) - Italy is a historic team that has won the tournament and once they get a lead they are tough to beat. Famous for a lockdown defense (ah the old John Thompson) Italy also has the advantage of knowing what they can away with from the officiating (witness the flop against Australia). Ukraine has great offensive talent but everyone knows they got to where they are by playing soft competition.

Pick: Italy

England - (Indiana) v. Portugal (Kansas or Florida). England is one of the other historically great teams that time has passed it by. While England has gotten to the quarterfinals four out of the past five tournaments they have failed to get out this round in three of those four chances. Portugal is the perennial underachiever. Always has talent but never wins the big game. The question is will they continue the trend of choking (Kansas) or finally break through (Florida). I say Choke

Pick : England

Brazil (UConn) v. France (Illinois) - Brazil has the best talent in the world. In fact they could field a Brazil B composed of their bench and that team would probably make the quarterfinals. However they have not yet shown an ability or willingness to actually play together. That’s a big time red flag. France is composed by former championship caliber players, who trot out really old players whose time has largely passed them by. For the record this is a rematch of the 1998 World Cup Finals.

Pick: Brazil

Some Quick Cheering and Jeering....

Cheers: Adam Morrison's Mustache. According to reliable sources (EA Sports) Adam Morrison's Mustache and possibly Adam Morrison will spend the summer in a van solving mysteries.

Cheers: David Noel getting drafted by the Milwaukee Bucks. The sole regular player that stayed at UNC following the 2005 Championship, Noel led the upstart Tar Heels to a decent showing. Glad to see he'll join the five other Tar Heels that were drafted last year.

Jeers: To corruption. The Italian Soccer League is embroiled in an investigation alleging fixed matches, point fixing, bribery and a host of other charges. On the eve of the start of the trial one of the key figures, Gianluca Pessota, fell off the top of a three story building onto a car. Nothing to see here. Move along you lookie loos.

Jeers: To Global Climate Change. Yes, remember when those crazy scientists, metrologist, climatologist and average eskimo with their "facts" and usage of the "Enlightment" claimed in the late 1990s that Global Warming was happening. Remember they predicted that the Mid-Atlantic region would see a dramatic increase in rain and possible flooding while the Western states would see increased drought and possible fires? Good thing that whole thing turned out to be hoax/false like George Will predicted. In an unrelated story The Back Seat Drivers is now available under-water in the Philadelphia area and at 451 degrees in the Nevada area.

Media Watchdog

If there’s one thing I hate more than biased reporting, it’s factually incorrect, biased reporting. The New York Times, a newspaper that is owned by the same holding company that owns 20% of the Boston Red Sox, makes no secret of its hatred for the New York Yankees. When they write the following (below), it makes you wonder how they can get away with such blatant nonsense in print.

“For the first time in prime time, a Mets game carried by SportsNet New York had a higher rating than a Yankees broadcast on the YES Network. On Tuesday night, the Mets-Red Sox game generated a 4.7 rating, or 350,000 local television households, and the Yankees-Braves game produced a 4.1 rating (305,000 TV homes).”

Here’s the catch – while the Mets DID play in primetime last night, the Yankees played the Braves at 2 p.m. By the time regular watchers of the YES Network got home, they already knew the outcome of the game. So the Mets, who had Pedro pitching at Fenway for the first time since the 2004 ALCS, only managed to generate 45,000 more television viewers for a live game than the Yankees did for a time-condensed and edited-for-television rebroadcast.

Why do I care so much about something like this? Because I hate thinking that someone read this during breakfast and, without realizing it, started spreading lies to his or her co-workers. I guess I operate under the hackneyed pretense that all media outlets should report things as they are and not as they wish them to be.

If you ask me, the Yanks should hire me to be their media watchdog.

2nd Annual NBA Draft Recap

The Good
Memphis trading Shane Battier for Rudy Gay. The Grizzlies actually did something riske. They got great value for Shane Battier, I still can’t believe a team was willing to part with a top-10 pick in exchange for Shane Battier in the year 2006. Now with Rudy Gay, Memphis actually is trying to improve itself, and they get tons of “upside” potential.

Orlando taking JJ Redick. With the power of Darko, Dwight Howard, and my favorite underrated PG, Carlos Arroyo, this is a team destined for the playoffs! There certainly should be enough open looks for JJ on this team. I think JJ didn’t fit very well on most teams, but this is one of those teams where JJ should be able to go in and get some open looks, because I don’t believe he can create his own shot that well.

The Bad –
Seattle choosing the Senegal center, named Sene. Huge upside. Good news: He’s 7 feet tall. Bad news: He only weighs 235 pounds! Just like his fellow Senegalese countryman, DeSagna Diop, this is one of those draft picks where the player is a definite project, and he probably won’t be paying dividends to the Sonics, but to his 2nd team. If I was an NBA GM, I’d only take these insane, long-term projects if I had a playoff team. The Sonics need help now!

I also discovered that this is the 3rd year in a row they have taken a center! In 2004, it was it was Robert Swift, a dorky white 7-footer (averaged 6 and 5.5 in 20mpg). In 2005, it was Johan Petro, a 7-footer from France (average 5 and 4.4 in 19mpg). I believe they are trying to start an international all-star team of skinny 7-footers.

On the subject of skinny 7-footers, I have to bring up one of the first things I learned over the years about drafting players. The 76ers drafted Shawn Bradley back in the early 1990s, who was a skinny 7’6”, but the 76ers management had this great idea to “fix” their draft pick, they would just fatten up Shawn Bradley. The orders came down from the GM and the president, and Bradley was placed on a SIX THOUSAND CALORIE DIET. So I was watching NBA Inside Stuff back in like 1993, hosted by Ahmad Rashad and Willow Bay, and they followed around Shawn Bradley and had dinner with him. Granted, Willow didn’t eat the 7th and 8th courses of the meal, but Shawn Bradley did. Sadly, Shawn Bradley gained only 5 pounds that year. Moral of the story, NBA GMs cannot expect to alter someone’s metabolism. The science just isn’t to that point yet!

Boston – taking on Brian Grant’s salary ($13.3 million) in exchange for rights to Rajon Rondo. Rondo can only score on layups, and has no outside shot. Boston GM Danny Ainge did get Sebastian Telfair earlier in the night while ensuring that Dan Dickau is now moving on to his 6th team in only his 5th year! Congratulation Dan! You are well on your way to catching Jimmy Jackson who has been on 13 teams in 14 years!

The Ugly
Dick Vitale doing NBA draft analysis. Is he up there for comedy purposes??? I really don’t know. All he does is talk about how great the juniors and seniors in college are. This year, he took things to the next level, by stating, “The #1 pick sounds more like an Italian construction company, than [his name] sounds like an NBA player.” And you wonder why the rest of the world doesn’t like Americans.

Names with the Letter “Y”
Throughout their careers at ‘Nova, I could never distinguish Ray from Foye. They played similar positions, and those stupid “y”s confused me. Add in Brandon Roy from Washington, and I just have no idea who is who anymore. I was talking to Mighty and I got very excited that Ray and Foye got drafted back-to-back, then traded for each other. But really, it was Roy and Foye. I hope I can distinguish these guys once they start actually playing.

Cash Considerations
When the Timberwolves traded the #6 pick (Roy) for the #7 pick (Foye), the Timberwolves scored some “cash considerations.” I’d much rather the NBA release what the cash is going to be used for. For example, the trade really could have been “Roy for Foye, a 4-night cruise for the GM, 3 strippers, 2 tickets to the Super Bowl, and $100,000 cold hard cash.”

Isiah is a World Cup Fan
The Knicks always keep it interesting. They drafted Ronaldo! The all-time leading scorer from Brazil! Oh wait, I got it wrong. It was Renaldo (Balkman). From USC. Actually, Univ. of South Carolina. Projected to be a late 2nd-round pick. He’s a 6-8 small forward. At least his favorite food is “peach soda.” No joke, that’s actually listed on NBA.com.

A Yankee Fan Cheers For Buckner (And Gammons)

Here is evidence of why Boston Red Sox fans in general are given far too much credit for being “good” fans (from today’s Daily Quickie):

“Forgiven, if not forgotten: The Red Sox held a tribute for the ‘86 team last night, and the biggest ovation went to Bill Buckner, who wasn’t even in attendance. What a difference a broken curse makes...”

After spending nearly 20 years blaming the 1986 World Series choke on Bill Buckner, to the point that he was verbally and physically threatened if he ever returned to New England, I’d say that a standing ovation for someone in absentia is something like saying “we blamed you and ruined your post-baseball life…oops, sorry!”

Considering the fact that Bill Buckner gave his heart and soul to the Boston franchise for the last few injury-plagued years of his career, considering the fact that Red Sox manager Joe McNamara shouldn’t have even had Buckner out there in the 9th inning since everyone knew that Buckner’s injured knees prevented him from going down on ground balls, and considering the fact that the loss to the Mets wasn’t even Buckner’s fault since the Red Sox blew a three-run lead in the bottom of the 6th inning of Game 7...

…just as in everything else, the Red Sox and their myopic, Neanderthal fans get a free pass. I can’t believe that not one single columnist in the United States picked up on the chance to point out the unfairness of pulling a 180 on Bill Buckner. To his credit, Buckner’s integrity and pride have made him inaccessible to Red Sox ownership. He doesn’t need to get the velvet glove treatment from a bunch of phonies looking to score some PR points. He was too good for that kind of garbage.

PS - A somewhat heartfelt “get well soon” wish to Peter Gammons*. As much as I think he’s a hack writer and a mouthpiece/apologist for the Boston Red Sox, I’d hate to think that my years of constantly knocking him somehow contributed to his sudden illness. The sooner he gets back on his feet spilling his brand of biased garbage, the sooner I can go back to ripping him a new one. In the meantime, I hope he has a speedy recovery.

*What happened to Peter Gammons should be a warning to all alcoholics out there; hard-core boozing rots your brain as well as your liver.

NBA Draft Drinking Game

NBA Draft..... its fantastic.....especially if you have a drinking game to alongside of it. Here's a few rules of the road to add fun and enjoyment to the process.

1. Take a drink whenever you hear "wingspan"
2. Take a drink whenever you hear "potential"
3. Open a porn magazine when you hear the word "long"
4. Take a drink when someone mentions the new mandatory age rule
5. Finish your beer when you see a picture of Greg Ogden - next year's number one draft pick
6. Take a drink and hit the mute button when Jay Bilas insults someone else
7. Take a drink and write a haiku to realign your chi when Andy Katz is condescending
8. Finish your beer when a player is traded
9. Finish your beer and head to the bomb shelter if KG or AI are not traded.
10. Lightly chuckle when Kevin McHale forgets he actually has a draft pick
11. Lightly chuckle when Isiah Thomas forgets he doesn't actually have a draft pick
12. Take a triumphant sip if the Cavs draft either a PG or PF
13. Take a bitter drink and then bash head against wall when Cavs draft a SG or SF.
14. Point and laugh when Adam Morrison cries upon hearing he's drafted (especially if its Portland)
15. Take a drink and check to make sure your wallet is still there after a UConn player is drafted


Add as you see fit.......

Today's World Cup Subplot

Just a little heads up for today's match between Spain and France there is not so subtle subplot. Spain's head coach, Louis Aragones, in 2004 was caught on tape giving motivational instructions on getting French superstar Thierry Henry. His motivational instructions though came in the part of a racist tirade that seemed to come directly out of the 19th century. While Aragones fell behind the classic racist defense (but I have lots of friends of different colors or it means something different in my native tongue) he has otherwise refused to make any apology. Today Aragone's Spainish team meet Henry and France head to head. One can only hope somebody drop kicks the Spainish coach in the jugular.

Random Thoughts On Baseball

1. I’m tired of talking about Ozzie Guillen and how reprehensible a human being he is. But I would like to share a picture of him after the White Sox won the World Series last year.

I don’t know if this is his son or another relative, one of his players, a batboy, or someone he met at a bar but I do know that he might want to reconsider his choice of epithets directed at Jay Mariotti. I’m just saying.

2. Most people see the 162-game regular season as a marathon. I contend that it’s really a series of four 10K races:

April: a month unto its own. A fast start in April doesn’t mean anything (1987 Brewers) and a slow start in April means even less (2005 Yankees).

May/June: these two months are less about contenders breaking away than they are about bad teams playing themselves out of meaningful baseball later in the season (2006 Royals).

July/August: the dog days of summer are where the true contenders make their bones. Teams that make it into October begin laying the foundations for their postseason with trades in July and good winning streaks in August (2004 Red Sox).

September: the pennant race is the all-out sprint at the end of the season. Some teams have postseason berths locked up. Some teams carry their August winning streaks into September and play their way in (2005 Astros).

I bring this up because most teams will hit the mathematical mid-point of their season in the latter half of this week. Some teams are already out of it (Royals, Pirates, Cubs, Devil Rays, Orioles) and some teams are teetering on the brink of contender/pretender status (Twins, Indians). For the Twins, Indians, and other teams on the contender/pretender see-saw, the mathematical mid-point becomes decision day regarding trades, minor league promotions, and managerial/front office job security. For this particular issue personified, ESPN wrote up the impending dilemma the Twins face in their decision on Torii Hunter.

3. This past Friday marked the 25th anniversary of the longest professional baseball game ever played, a 33-inning affair between the Rochester Red Wings (AAA Baltimore Orioles) and the Pawtucket Red Sox (AAA Boston Red Sox).

Despite winning the 1983 World Series, the Baltimore Orioles suffered through a generally lousy decade of the 1980’s. On the other hand, the Boston Red Sox enjoyed a mini-renaissance in the late 1980’s, finishing first three times in five years, including winning the 1986 American League pennant. The interesting thing about the box score of this game is how, in hindsight, one could have predicted the futures of the two parent organizations. Cal Ripken and Floyd Rayford were the only everyday players to emerge from the Rochester side while the Pawtucket club featured three future everyday players (Marty Barrett, Wade Boggs, Rich Gedman) as well as two future starting pitchers (Bruce Hurst, Bobby Ojeda). All five of those Pawtucket players played in the 1986 World Series – Barrett, Boggs, Gedman, and Hurst for Boston and Ojeda for the Mets.

4. For anyone that watched the 9th inning of last night’s White Sox-Astros game unfold, it has to be said that Brad Lidge is absolutely one of the most overrated pitchers in baseball. He’s the Caucasian version of Armando Benitez. In short, if I’m an Astros fan, I’m selling my playoff ticket options. It’s going to be very hard for Houston to make the playoffs with a closer that simply can’t keep it together in big spots, and last night was a meaningless game in late June. The Cardinals aren’t a very imposing team this year but it looks to me like they don’t have much to worry about in terms of winning their division...

Man in the Middle: The Ref and Criticism

I was watching Portugal and Netherlands play a World Cup match yesterday and the game clearly got out of hand. The ref handed out a record 16 yellow cards and ejected four players (also a record). To date the World Cup has set overall records of fouls which had existed for 60 odd years and there were three more rounds to go. The talk of the World Cup has really centered on the refereeing. However this international fascination with the job of the officiating certainly isn't some international fad but exists here. The past two championships are as well known for controversy surrounding the how the game was called as how the game was played. Seattle fans (and coaches) still bemoan supposed phantom calls that ruined their destined victory over Pittsburgh. In fact the day after the Super Bowl the only facts I got out of what happened during the game was that there were controversial calls and Jerome Bettis was still from Detroit. Fast forward to the summer and everyone from Bill Simmons to Dan Patrick to Mark Cuban focused attention, ire and in the later case epithets on how the game was called. Is it my imagination or has the center of the sports universe seemingly shifted to focus on how every whistle is blown and every infraction assessed?

I would argue that a few changes have happened that have led to this current juncture
1) Leagues use rule changes to changet game - I think its more common for league officials and rules committees are changing rules to micro-manage league play. In soccer officials are under strong pressure to call type games to try to allow for more offense. Same with the NBA and the NFL. The result is that if a foul looks like it occurred refs will blow the whistle. Also quickly changing rules leads to more ambiguity on the infraction (it takes time for refs to get adjusted).

2) Incentives have changed. Pat Riley and Phil Jackson are legendary for using the media to pressure officiating. The great Celtic dynasties didn't exactly have the ability or desire to utilize national media to help their cause. Given the 24 hour world of media, complaining about the refs gains more air time which in turn can possibly gain more advantage. Incentives influence human behavior and the media world allows for a large megaphone to gain leverage. There has also been a normative change in how officiating. Standards are higher and criticizing them is far more acceptable among players, coaches and media to criticize the officials.

All in all in I find a negative aspect to focusing on the officiating. I'm not stating that all criticism is unjustified. Refs are people and as such do make mistakes. However I would raise two points. The level of enjoyment of the sports world decreases as more focus is on the refs. The other is that most of the ire should be directed not at the refs but at those instituting the rules rather than enforcing them.

The Tao Of Being A Professional Asshole: A White Sox Manager’s Story

Ozzie Guillen just doesn’t know when to shut up. He’s openly playing a game of chicken with Bud Selig and Selig, to no one’s surprise, is blinking yet again.

Selig should have suspended Guillen for his homophobic comments based on the John Rocker principle that hate speech is not tolerated in baseball. As he always does, the commissioner opted for a course of non-action (especially when the party in question is a member of one of Selig’s favorite teams). Now Guillen is openly mocking one of the requirements of his punishment and states that he will not attend sensitivity training. How can Selig not speak up now? How can he not suspend Guillen, if only to assert the authority of the commissioner’s office?

Furthermore, how can White Sox management condone such behavior? How can they have an employee thumbing his nose at a sanction handed down by Bud Selig? The White Sox should’ve dealt with Guillen in order to send a message that their franchise doesn’t condone their manager’s choice of words. Now they’ve got to do something to rein in their loose cannon. If they don’t, the White Sox are as guilty in all of this as their lunatic employee.

In a sick sort of way, Guillen is only pushing the parameters of acceptable behavior as far as Bud Selig will permit, which only serves to highlight how ineffectual the commissioner is, at least when the Red Sox, White Sox, Twins, Marlins or other “favorite son” franchise transgresses. Rest assured that Selig would’ve sprung to action if this was taking place in a city where he collects no bribes.

Whistleblower in Beantown

I just love it when baseball’s deep, dark secrets are exposed and everyone in the game starts running for cover. Whenever a whistleblower writes a book or talks about his experiences with baseball’s seamier underbelly, the first thing everyone does is call the whistleblower a “rat” or “crazy” or a publicity-hound. That’s what everyone said about Jose Canseco when his book came out last winter and that’s what everyone said about Jim Bouton when his tell-all book “Ball Four” came out in the 1970’s.

So it’s really no surprise that a number of Boston Red Sox took their potshots at a former teammate, Paxton Crawford, who spoke on the record about steroid use in the Red Sox clubhouse in 2000 and 2001. The most amusing portion of the accused players’ rebuttal is when Mike Stanley talks about Trot Nixon, Jason Varitek and Nomar Garciaparra, as if merely suspecting the oft-injured outfielder, Neanderthal-jawed catcher, or hyper-chiseled physique of the former shortstop would be an act of national treason. Give me a break.

Why would Paxton Crawford lie? He was an anonymous player during his short-lived career and he was living an anonymous life as a former big leaguer. He doesn’t have anything to gain by speaking openly about his time in Boston.

I understand why these guys have to circle the wagons and live by the Nixonian code of “deny, deny, deny,” especially in this climate of witch-hunting and overzealous prosecution so I can’t fault their reaction. I just think it’s laughable that these guys think us so foolish as to believe anything they say on the subject of steroids.

Cheers and Jeers: Bitter Pill Edition

Ingredients:

• 2 oz Smirnoff Vodka
• 2 oz Jack Daniels
• Lemon
• Coca-Cola

Well despite my public shunning, deep in my heart I was rooting for team USA to pull of the win in La Copa Munda and move on to the next round. It was not to be. The US was done in by several factors: poor play and bad officiating. The US played timid uninspired soccer for two of three games managing only four shots on goal the entire tournament. When you don't play aggressive you need a well officiated game. The US didn't get the benefit of the calls (in fact the officiating reminded me of Game 6 where looking funny at the other team resulted in fouls) and as a result they are going home without a chance to redeem themselves until 2010.

On the plus side the team that took the U.S.'s spot was Ghana. Now for those that didn't watch the Czech v. Ghana game during the celebration of the first goal scoring one of the Ghanaian players (John Pentsil) unveiled an Israeli flag. Now at first I thought I had taken one too many roundhouse kicks in an under ground martial arts tournament. However, it turns out that Pentsil just wanted to give a shout out to his club team (which happens to be in the Israeli league).

On the really good side my Socceroos of Australia pulled off yet another comeback, this time against Croatia. The Aussies late game heroics are becoming legendary at this point and nobody should be taking them lightly. Well maybe those man crush inspiring Brazillians but the Australians don't have to play them until the championship game.

Cheers: To Bud Selig. I tried really hard to come up with something nice to say after his handling of Ozzie Guillen this week (the only relevant questions reporters should have for Ozzie anymore is: "How long have you been posing as a human being and why are you so bad at it?". It finally dawned on me….old Bud is evidence that evolution is indeed true. I'm sorry there's no way something intelligently designed Bud Selig. Obviously he arose out of some primitive life form that existed before the backbone came about. I'm guessing he evolved from a steaming pile of poop but I never paid any attention in biology.

Jeers: To baseball over this story on MLB.tv blackouts. I'm really trying how this policy would be good to grow baseball as a whole and I'm just drawing a blank. Of course I didn't evolve out of pile of poop so that too would make sense.

Jeers: To curses. This week we officially got the newest member to the Sports Curse club. Some big curses currently afflicting sports today includes: Curse of Rocky Calavito, Billy Goat Curse and the Madden Curse (Note Sports Illustrated is a Jinx not a curse. See Hecatate's 8th edition Spells, Curses and Jinxes for differences between the two). Anyway the new curse is: The Dolan Curse. The Dolan's as a family seem to have the reverse Midas' touch. The Dolan brand sports teams put on a display this week, between Indians quickly turning into the KC Royals and the Knicks firing of Larry Brown, that just reinforced how dysfunctional those organizations are.

Cheers: To the NFL. Mini-Camps started up. June is nearing its end and so the great football prognosticating can begin. My top 3 most competitive divisions (note I define competitive divisions as divisions in which the greatest number of teams that have the highest chance of making the playoffs) are: NFC East, AFC North, NFC South. Sure why not?

Unequal Justice

I’m sorry but I’m going to have to cry foul. Randy Johnson was suspended for five games after buzzing Eduardo Perez. RJ came high and tight on Perez but didn’t actually hit him. David Riske hit Chris Duncan and was only suspended for three games. One pitcher comes inside without making contact and gets five games. The other pitcher actually drills a batter and gets three games.

I’m not one to normally go hog-wild for conspiracy theories but I do know that Bud Selig owes his job as commissioner to White Sox owner Jerry Reinsdorf. And I do know that MLB’s dean of discipline, Bob Watson, was the Yanks’ former GM before being unceremoniously dumped by Boss Steinbrenner in favor of Brian Cashman. Watson had very bad things to say about his former employers at the time of his termination and has continued to speak poorly of them in the eight years since his dismissal.

When two identical incidents take place within seven days of eachother and the punishment for one incident exceeds the punishment for the other, well, I begin to wonder about the integrity of baseball’s judicial process. I hate the White Sox and I hate how they’re getting away with things left and right. Guillen should’ve been suspended last week for the Tracey/Blalock incident. Now their newly-acquired setup man gets off light. Amazing.

As an aside, I’d like to point out that 24 hours have passed since the story broke that Ozzie Guillen used a derogatory epithet and the Commissioner’s office has been silent on the matter. It is beyond unbelievable to me how passive Bud Selig is on all topics large and small. At the very least he could have publicly distanced himself and the league from Guillen’s statement and said that MLB doesn’t condone such language or behavior from one of its own. Not Selig, no sir. He doesn’t believe in, you know, actually upholding his responsibilities.

Thank God He's Gone, Or Why Knicks Offices Will No Longer Smell Like Adult Diapers

All Knicks fans should shout a hearty “good riddance” to the newly-unemployed Larry Brown. For doing the worst coaching job of his career, for doing nothing but spreading his special brand of cancer around the franchise, and for being the most disagreeable sports personality in New York City, he won’t be missed at all.

Knowing Larry, he’ll take his best shots at the franchise and he’ll use his political savvy to spin this his way. No one in New York should be fooled – Larry Brown bailed on his “dream job” and he owes every Knicks fan an apology (and our money back).

The Knicks will still stink in 2006-2007. But at least there won’t be this palpable sense of misery around the team that only Larry and his faulty urinary sphincter bring to the table.

Get the f*ck out of town, “Coach” Brown. Don’t ever come back. Move out of our state and take your snot-nosed kids and your trophy wife with you.

Blasphemous Quote of the Day

Hitman: Check out Sportsline. They have a much better World Cup gamecast than ESPN.

Hitman's Colleague: How dare you besmirch the Worldwide Leader!

What Was Your Favorite Memory...

...of the Larry Brown era?

(Theme again shamelessly stolen from the Chicago Tribune)

Father’s Day Revenge

This past father’s day, after not playing golf for the last year, I somehow beat my dad over the second set of 9 holes. I don’t think he was very happy. The wrath of my dad can be very powerful, as you will soon see.

You see, in addition to the fact that I had picked the Dallas Mavericks to win it all, and I had written an incredibly pro-Maverick Finals preview http://thedawggs.blogspot.com/2006/06/2nd-annual-nba-finals-preview.html , I had absolutely no respect for the Miami Heat. Back in my NBA preview in October I said “I’m not a fan of the additions.” http://thedawggs.blogspot.com/2005/10/2005-nba-preview-its-fannnntastic.html . Back in August, MJ even chimed in and said “Will Shaq and Wade be able to co-exist with Walker and Williams? I honestly don't think so.” Though MJ did concede that “I think the Heat will regret this one, even if their roster is now the envy of fantasy basketball fans everywhere.” Anyways, right after Miami had made all of their free agent acquisitions, I laughed because I thought it was ludicrous to pick up an old Gary Payton, a free-shooting Antoine Walker, a turnover-prone Jason Williams, and James Posey.

After all of the signings took place, my dad told me that he thought that the Miami Heat could “win it all.” I laughed and laughed. Antoine Walker??? I didn’t forget this conversation as the NBA finals began, though my dad actually told me that he “could not believe the Heat were down 2-0 in the Finals.” He asked me my thoughts, and in my naivete, I said “believe it? I always told you the Heat stink! The NBA Finals is about the rise of DeSagna Diop!”

Needless to say, beating my dad on part of the golf course made him very angry, and I fully believe that he alone inspired Wade and the Heat to win the championship. I apologize to all of the Dallas fans out there, because I feel as if it was partially my fault that the Dallas Mavericks absolutely choked. If only I had let him beat me in golf!

Anyways, I do have to field a complaint about coach Avery Johnson. I don’t know what the hell he was thinking in Game 6. Basically, I think it got to the point where he realized there was no way to stop Wade, so he just put the team into a zone for the whole second half (I didn’t see the first half, so I can’t comment on that). The problem was, Riley then told the Heat to just crash the boards whenever a shot went up, and this resulted in NUMEROUS layup put-backs! Avery, you’ve got to at least mix up the man and the zone defenses so you don’t get shredded on the glass! Granted, such a formula may have resulted in more Wade points, but I think it still would have been better than the frequent rebounds and layups which certainly have a 95% chance of falling, whereas when Wade is hot, the shots have only a 70% chance of falling.

Finally, I can at least make one knock on Gary Payton. During the 4TH QUARTER, GP was arguing with the refs the whole way up the court. He then turned to the ref to argue some more, and right as he turned, one of his teammates passed the ball in his direction! It resulted in a turnover, and an easy 2 points for the Mavericks! Ladies and gentlemen, this is the memory I will always have of the 2006 NBA Finals (and of Wade dominating the competition and making the leap to superstardom).

Ozzie Guillen Update

Finally! Finally the rest of the country gets to see the true colors of the man I dubbed the biggest asshole in baseball just last week.

Ozzie Guillen, you’re a pathetic individual. In a span of six months, you’ve ripped the heritage of Alex Rodriguez and Nomar Garciaparra, embarrassed one of your employees on national television, publicly declared that you’d “cut” and “kill” an opponent in a fight, and now called a reporter a “fag” because you don’t like his coverage of you or your team.

I won’t be so morally superior and dishonest as to say that I’ve never used derogatory epithets in the past. But I also don’t have a recurring pattern of emotionally unstable behavior and a God-complex.

I have no faith in Bud Selig but even that worthless, decrepit sack of bones will have to step up to the plate and, gulp, rule against his puppeteers on Chicago’s South Side. When coupled with Guillen’s ejection for the HBP incidents in last night’s White Sox-Cardinals game...here’s to hoping that we don’t see or hear from this foul little animal for the next week.

Jonathan Papelbon ≠ Mariano Rivera

I woke up in a horrible mood today – the Miami Heat had won the NBA title, Joe Torre managed his fourth consecutive game like the mental patient he’s increasingly become, my golf swing is in complete disarray right now – and I was prepared to rant about those subjects, and more.

Instead, I got busy at work, cooled down a bit, and was prepared to go a whole day without an explosion of fury. Until I read the latest from Bill Simmons. Michael Wilbon and Tony Kornheiser (the PTI Guys) broached the subject last night. That’s three separate ESPN personalities suckling at the Papelbon fountain in less than 24 hours.

Now wait just one goddamn minute here. I don’t care what Jonathan Papelbon’s stats are and I don’t care that Mariano Rivera blew a save in spectacular fashion to the Washington Nationals over the weekend. Jonathan Papelbon has 23 saves right now. That’s approximately 380 less than Mariano Rivera. Papelbon has exactly zero postseason saves.

I agree that Papelbon has been every bit as good as his surrogate father Peter Gammons predicted. He’s been every bit as good and then some. But let’s not start comparing the kid to a first-ballot hall of famer and the best closer in the history of baseball. At this point, it wouldn’t even be fair to anoint Papelbon as on par with Eric Gagne, who’s only been a full-time closer for three seasons.

I will not stand for that kind of crap. And I don’t think Bostonians would take kindly to Joe Mauer (currently hitting .378) being compared to Ted Williams, just like they didn’t like it when John Olerud was compared to the Splendid Splinter back in 1993.

Jonathan Papelbon is the front-runner for the 2006 AL Rookie of the Year. That’s all we know right now. Let’s leave it there.