Could even Ivan's rule handle this helter skelter that is the NFL? Short answer: No
Indy v. Denver:
Ivan's rule: It’s tough to beat a team you already beat. Denver should lose and boy did they ever. Peyton and his majestic offense put up 35 points in the first half. Manning ended up throwing for more yards than any other quarterback in a playoff game....except for Bernie Kosar (we still love you Bernie!) On the brightside for Denver...no blame can be leveled at Jake Plummer.
Ivan 1 NFL 0
Rams v. Seahawks:
Ivan's rule: 8-8 Teams don’t win playoff games (0-8 going into this year i.e. Rams should lose). On the other hand Rams swept Seahawks during the season. So Ivan's rules appear to contradict one another. Nonetheless there had to be a winner and it was the Rams. I've given a lot of heat to Mad Martz this year but damn give that man some dap. His offense and playcalling were Superb. He used the Marshall Plan and the Jackson Plan (i.e. running the ball). Third and Two, fake into the line and throw to the tight end. Somewhere Bill Walsh is smiling. On the other hand if anyone in all of Seattle could catch a ball the Rams would have lost. Got to feel a little for Matt Hasselback...last year he threw the winning pass (albeit for the opposing team) . This year short of covering the ball with glue, his receivers couldn't hang onto the ball.
Split decision: Ivan 2 NFL 1
Jets v. Chargers
See Rule #1. Jets won the first game. They stumbled into the playoffs losing to the Rams and possibly the Washington Generals. They looked sorry. But old Marty ball returned. You know ultra-conservative (possibly symbolized when he punted on second down or at least thats how it felt). Also Herm Edwards knows a great New Orleans woman that does this fancy voodoo curse. In other news Drew Brees' arm fell off.
Ivan 2 NFL 2
The rubber match: Vikings v. Packers
Packers had swept the Vikings. The Vikings were 8-8. Vikings couldn't win outside. Favre hadn't lost outside (besides to Michael Vick) since the Neanderthals hit a field goal in OT. None of that mattered. The Vikings beat Green Bay like a rented mule. Let's be honest Green Bay has been an above average team for the past three years. Coach/GM/Wisconsin Governor Mike Sherman suited up only 4 receivers (one of whom was just signed off the practice field). That doesn't cut it in this league. Once again Mike Sherman shows why coaches shouldn't be GMs.
2 Laws get broken and in a romp the NFL beats Ivan 4-2
Michael Wilbon, in the Washington Post, discusses today an issue that I am sure will hang over pundits and the State of Wisconsin: Is this the end of Brett Favre? Favre is such a beloved figure that he often gets a free pass. The past few years have been good but not great. Yesterday Favre threw 4 INTs. Sure the receivers ran some bad routes and Favre got some unlucky breaks, but he threw into some bad coverage and hung the ball out there a lot. More than that, the old fire was gone. The man that would head butt Warren Sapp or leap for joy following a TD was not on that field yesterday. I suppose we all need to mature but after all that has happened to Favre, both on and off the field, I'm not as sure as I used to be that Brett will be back.
While on the subject of punditry, one of my favorite targets, is the "Moonsota" incident. Yes Randy Moss pretended to moon some fans. Was it classless? Yes. Was it insulting? Yes. Is he now in the league of Terrel Owens for jack-ass moves? Yes. Do I sound like Donald Rumsfeld? Yes. However the reaction out of FOX and ESPN was so over the top, it should be laughable. Both networks refused to re-show the incident. Let me repeat that: FOX and ESPN refused to show a Randy Moss PRETENDING to moon the fans. No ass was visible. Any network that shows ArmWrestling (ESPN) or Who's Your Daddy (FOX) should be barred from making any statements on taste, quality or obscenity (whatever the hell that means). To all you networks and pundits I give you the following:
1 comment:
Good breakdown of "Ivan's Playoff Rules." The NFL sure is wacky, but, that's why we love it so much. It's funny how now everyone has quickly jumped onto the "Packers suck AND Favre should retire" bandwagon. I've been saying it for 3 straight years now- this team is completely pathetic defensively. In addition, we all know that Favre is not going to win them any games. Add it all up, and the defense spotted the Vikings 17 quick points, and Favre had to throw a lot, and that just spelled disaster.
Good point though about Sherman proving that coaches should not be GMs. There just isn't enough time in the day to do both jobs, especially during the season.
Finally, I thank you. I heard about the mooning incident, and I've yet to see a replay, and I'm glad you got a picture to show. I hope common Americans can also hate the FCC now. Which leads me to my final point about our stupid FCC: fake-mooning is repulsive, but fake-killing other people (or fake-digging graves) is an accepted form of celebration. Personally, I'm w/ the Europeans, and believe we should show nudity and not violence.
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