Must-See Thursdays & Crazy 8s

That’s right. I apologize for the unannounced schedule change, but the powers that be (“The Man”) have told me that additional advertising revenues can be made by me switching my column to Thursdays. Back to our regular progamming...

I have to first say a little bit about last week’s Chargers debacle against the Jets.

Did you Know?
John Madden said that Antonio Gates used a “basketball move” on every catch last week. When he failed to catch it though, he would say, those “basketball moves” aren’t going to work in the NFL. Then, when Gates faked out his defender, caught the ball, and rumbled for 50 yards, Madden said, "Basketball moves work great in the NFL." You can’t have it both ways Madden! Either praise his basketball skills or not.

I will say this- after Tony Gonzalez and now Antonio Gates, I’m completely convinced that you can convert any 6’5” athletic forward from college basketball into an All-Pro TE without any college football experience. I’m on the bandwagon, and the next one that I know of will be on my fantasy team.
Meanwhile, Coach Schottenheimer just dropped the ball in OT of the game by settling for a 40-yard field goal. He’s scared out of his mind after all of his playoff collapses. At any moment I was fearful of Marty releasing his bowels on national television. Instead, he went home and cried.

As for Moss’s fake mooning, I really don’t care. How in the world this is worse than "fake-killing," or "fake-digging a grave" as a celebration is beyond me. And by “beyond me” I mean it makes absolutely no sense. Thank you FCC for protecting America's youth from fake-mooning. I mean gosh, nothing could be worse.

The most shocking thing is that after no 8-8 teams ever winning a playoff game, both the Vikings & the Rams won! It’s insanity, and that’s why I love the NFL. The Rams were feasible winners, I mean they had swept the Seahawks. The Vikings was against all odds. Yes, before the season began, I had a Colts-Vikings super bowl. But at this point, after finishing 3-7 (again), being 8-8 (which is worse than last year), and not even trying to lift a finger, I didn’t expect much effort in Green Bay. The fact remains, GB’s defense is terrible, and Favre only loses games for them at this point (seriously, they win when they can run Ahman Green all day). So, the Vikings got a big enough lead that Favre had to throw. Simple. Now, let’s turn our attention to this week’s games, and here’s a reprint of the rules that I go by for picking NFL games:

Rule 1: It’s tough to beat a team you already beat. If you played a team once, the losing team OFTEN wins the rematch.
Rule 2: If you swept a team, you probably WILL beat them a 3rd time (This means Green Bay and St. Louis are in good situations.)
Rule 3: NO ONE wins consecutive weeks against the same team.
Rule 4: 8-8 Teams don’t win playoff games. They just don’t win games. It’s simple.
Rule 5: AT LEAST 1 Home team will win in the final 4. Both road teams almost never win.

I must say one thing about Rule 1, beating a team you already beat during the season. It’s a weak rule, and is probably only right maybe 60% of the time, whereas the other rules are up around 80%-100% successful.
Interestingly enough, EVERY GAME THIS WEEK IS A REMATCH. And EVERY HOME team won the 1st bout, meaning that according to Rule 1, all the ROAD teams are winning! I’m going to rank the games by the chances of Rule 1 working (meaning the Road team winning).

Let me be frank. This has never happened, and I’m not going to predict it.

Colts @ Pats-
This is the one game where I’m going with Rule 1. I’m also creating a special rule just for the Colts for this year. Special Rule: “If the wind is below 10 mph, and the chance of precipitation is below 20%, the Colts will win the game.”
Forecast as of Thursday afternoon for Boston: 9 mph winds, 10% chance of precipitation.
In addition, I’m just hoping that Peyton can take advantage of all the injured Pats’ cornerbacks. Finally, I can’t remember being more excited for an elite 8 NFL game.
Pick: Colts

Rams @ Falcons-
If the Rams were coached by anyone other than Martz, I would probably say they would win. But I don’t trust Martz, and I have no reason to. This game is really interesting. The Falcons have a great front 7, but their secondary is suspect. A lot of teams have passed on them this year (Chiefs, Broncos, Panthers,). Ultimately, it comes down to how often Martz runs the ball to milk the clock, because the Falcons are capable of using their 3 RBs (Vick, Dunn, Duckett) to beat every NFC team. I’m guessing both teams will score 4 touchdowns.
Pick: Falcons

Vikings @ Eagles-
I think we are dangerously close to having (2) 8-8 teams in the NFC championship game (if we even want to call it that). I just don’t have the balls to pick it. The fact is, the Eagles have no run defense. Don’t listen to what anyone tells you, because all season this has been a problem for the Eagles. And if the Vikings have any brains, they will use all of their Pro-bowl caliber backs (w/ each of their trademark items): Bennett and his sore hammy, Onterrio Smith and his dubie, Mewelde Moore and his dreadlocks, and Moe Williams and his moustache. Ultimately, no one knows what Viking team will show up. I will say, Culpepper vs. McNabb is always fun, and I will be cheering for the Vikings, but it seems like too much for them to go into the rudest city in America, Philly, and win. Anyways, it’s the Eagles destiny to host another NFC Championship game and lose. No one messes w/ destiny.
Pick: Eagles

Jets @ Steelers-
The Jets haven’t really been playing great. In addition, the Steelers 2nd & 3rd strings were manhandling the Bills the last week. Short of Pennington hitting Santana Moss on 3 homerun balls, I don’t see the Jets pulling off the revenge factor.
Pick: Steelers

Last week: 1-3 (I only got the Colts right. All those road teams won, and I wasn’t expecting it. Don’t worry, my final 4 is still intact.)