- 1/2 oz Whiskey
- 2 oz Orange juice
- 1 oz Rum
- 1 oz Vodka
Well it was a week of records and milestones. Bonds* broke the home-run record. A-Rod set the record for youngest to hit 500 and Tom Glavine finally was able to finish 300 chicken soft tacos in one sitting. They were impressive feats all the way around. However they are obviously not the be all, end all of records. Other records await some young man, woman or cyborg to come along and break. So what are my top 5 records that I'm hoping will be broken….
5. Dan Marino's Passing Yards Record – There is one simple reason for this….it will end Brett Favre's career or so I hope. I'm holding out hope that Favre is really a crazy egomaniac. I know the media refuses to believe it and why would they? Its not like Favre demands attention by continuously flirting with retirement and holding press conferences about his agonizing indecision. Now its possible Favre just is an addict and can't quit the sport but hey I'm holding out hope.
4. Kareem's Career Points – It really is a pretty amazing record. I mean the length of time you have to be in the NBA to achieve those points is pretty remarkable. Not to mention Kareem was a pilot in the off-season and overcame severe food poisoning which had to hurt the point total at some point. Thankfully white trash Karl Malone didn't break it so a next generation gunner (Lebron maybe?) is the hope for unseating Sweet Sweet Lou's perch at the top.
3. Reaching 300 Wins – After Glavine ate his soft tacos he went out and won his 300th game (baseball players are strange people). Glavine might well be the last 300 game winner ever….EVER. Ever is a long time. However with limited pitch counts, specialized relievers and many teams now being managed by seeing eye dogs it seems that it might not happen. However hopefully with advances in medicine, nanotechnology and cold fusion it COULD happen. It'll be awhile which means the celebration will be huge…assuming our robot overlords allow it.
2. Number of Death Threats Received by Drunken College Students in a Season- Lee Corso set the bar high. Way Way high. His performance in Columbus alone got him well over 500,000 (some of those coming for Kirk Herbstreet's kids when he stole their toys and discussed why the SEC had superior ones). I suppose its possible Corso could out do himself this year but a new name on the leader board? I don't know… seems almost impossible.
1. Hot Dog Eating Record – When Joey Chestnut set the new world's record and forced Kobayashi to have a sudden reversal it was the greatest American achievement since Neil Armstrong hit a hole in one on the moon. Will any person or bear be able to break that record? I don't know but I will be there to see it if it's tried….
Cheers: To the toilets working again in Cleveland Browns' Stadium. A broken pipe sent huge amounts of water and raw sewage into the stadium (as opposed to it typically being contained on the field). However its up and running now and if there's a better sign than not having human waste come out of the toilet I don't want to know what it is.
Jeers- In all the Bonds* coverage by in large there's been little coverage of some fun pennant and playoff races out there. Out West in the Little League there's a nasty dog fight brewing among nearly all the teams. I'm pretty sure everyone is clueless as to whom to put the Colonel's money on….
Cheers: To 3 weeks until college football starts up. First week presents two interesting games: Washington State v. Wisconsin and Georgia Tech v. Charlie Weis' stomach
Cheers: To the return of Rick Ankiel to the majors. Once a rising pitcher, Ricky somehow broke his brain in one of the worse melt downs seen in sports. Somehow he's clawed his way back to the big leads as an outfielder. Here's hoping he'll stick around
Cheers: To Chris Cooley aka Captain Chaos. For so so many reasons....
And now the C&J girl of the week Christy (soon to Mrs. Chris Cooley)….
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