Bourbon
Mint
Granulated Sugar
Water
Down south, in the land where the Colonel and his chicken is king, the mint julep serves as a Saturday drink before southerners return to their plantations or abandoned mule farms or whatever happens down there. Yes its almost college football time and for once reality and the media might be on the same page. The SEC is king of college football land until somebody, anybody defeats them. Boasting 5 of the top 15 teams in the country the SEC has the hype and the history on its side. That said not the entire SEC is in a position to go to the championship game, so who are the big boys can make the trip to the National Championship Game TM and (possibly use the opportunity to sleep with Nick Saban's daughter)?
1) USC – Any discussion of national championships has to start with USC. The consensus number one team is loaded and ready for a run. Pete Carroll wakes up and finds 5 star recruits on his porch offering all kinds of services to go to his school (recruit me and I'll suck yo….) USC has probably the fastest defense in college football and freshman running back Joe McKnight will have a number of Reggie Bush highlights before he's done with the year. The only question is can a Booty, let alone a Booty with several first names (John David Jimmie Jo-Jo), avoid costly mistakes that led to defeats at the hands of UCLA.
2) LSU – As previously reported LSU hates USC. They despise them for stealing the limelight of their national championship year. They hate the sun they get and their clothes. Les Miles has already tried to burn Pete Carroll's house to the ground. LSU has the best defensive tackle in the land and a new QB who already has 38 starts (which I still can't figure out). They also have Florida at home and a big non-conference game with V-Tech coming to Death Valley. The only thing that might trip them up is the brutal SEC schedule.
3) Florida – Speaking of the tough SEC, Irvin Mier, better known as Mephisticles, has a re-loaded Florida squad looking to defend its championship. Tim Tebow, is following in the footsteps of Rex Grossman, looks to unleash his own dragon on the campus' ladies and possibly on the football field. However back to back championships are tough to do, let alone in the SEC (can I get James Earl Jones to read that line?)
4) Texas – Can the Big 12 send a team to get slaughtered in the national championship game? Yes. I'm not sure how many votes for the various rankings come from the big state of Texas but every year somehow the Big 12 manages to at the last second weasel itself into a better bowl game then they should. I mean look at Texas and Oklahoma. Not sure how they're currently ranked #3 and #8 in the nation. Colt McCoy is allowed to legally shoot opposing players in the state of Texas which is a major advantage. All Texas needs to do is defeat Oklahoma and the SEC beat each other up and they'll be lined up to be destroyed by whoever they face.
5) Wisconsin – I have gone back and forth between Wisconsin and Michigan. Who is the better team? Who has the more favorable schedule? Who will the national media pay attention to? The answer the last question is Michigan. Wisconsin got neglected last year, even though they took it to the SEC runner up Arkansas. They can run the ball and stop the run as well as in any year since Ron Dayne, took off on a tiny scooter for the NFL (how'd that work out by the way?). Michigan is coming to Camp Randall (one of the, if not the, hardest places to play). Plus Wisconsin gets to face OSU when OSU is down which might vault it into a higher ranking. That said the wonderful swillers of fermented beverages have to show the nation that last year's Big 10 massacre was a fluke ….
Cheers: That sound you hear, Mr. Vick, is the sound of inevitability. Two more co-defendants flipped. Threat of racketeering charges. Say hello to the pokey and it couldn't happen to a nicer guy
Cheers: To cornbread. Aint nothing wrong with that
Jeers: To NFL preseason. Just get on with it. You taunt me with your 5 nights a week. Hey it's a football game I think. Then I watch it. It's kind of like cheap Chinese. Sure it looks tasty but after only a few moments you realize you made a big mistake.
Jeers: To NASCAR. Its growing popularity and ESPN's desire to have fewer sports stories told more often means that Sportscenter is getting less and less watchable.
And now our C&J gal of the week Gemma Atinkson…..
No comments:
Post a Comment