Turkey Time

Since thanksgiving is only 10 days away, I think it's time I share with all of you the fact that I will be in horrible fear and pissed off for the next 10 days. I love thanksgiving, good food, and i get to spend time with family and friends, but there is one part of thanksgiving that causes me utterly gut-wrenching fear and annoyance. That impetus of that fear and anger is John Madden. I can't make it through a thanksgiving without being haunted by John Madden and his Turducken. As you all probably know, it's a turkey stuffed with a duck stuffed with a chicken, and every thanksgiving you hear about this concoction like its the greatest thing ever. Now, first of all, its annoys the crap out of me because its an abomination of taste and happens to ruin 3 foods all at once. I mean, if you want any of these foods, eat them seperate, don't ruin the taste of all 3 by making them one giant glob of meat. Secondly, it scares me because I feel like 1000 years from now, the Turducken will be known as the "missing link" for all modern genetic engineering. Some idiot scientist is going to rely on the 3 animal food to start actually breeding animals that have duck, chicken, and turkey DNA, it will actually be a living breathing animal that has like 14 wings and 8 legs. And you know some idiot is gonna have one as a pet and there will be a weird Charlotte's Web moment in that family where they have to kill the family pet to eat it. Not looking forward to that news story at all.

But the other reason I am petrified is, honestly, John Madden scares me.

Look at that picture. It's from the original Madden game and it scares the crap out of me, and that was like 20 years ago. But look at him, if that ginormous blob was coming at me on the street, i would go the fetal position and soil myself faster than you can say "turducken".

Seriously, he reminds me of that one giant muppet from the muppet show that would barge in and scare everyone else on the show. by the way, that muppet's name is "sweetums" and it took me a good 25 minutes to find that out on google.

Come on, see the resemblance!

Well, i hope you can all enjoy your thanksgiving, you know i will try as well, even though i will probably invest in a bombshelter and spend the whole weekend there to avoid the scariness that lies inside John Madden and his creations.