Monday, April 19, 2010

Mock Draft 2010: It's Mocktacular!

I have paid less attention to this draft than I have in a long time. I hate to admit it, but Coach Mangina wrecked my love for the NFL this past year. I am trying my best to recover from the reign of terror where Magnina was GM and coach. Don't worry - this year he's just the coach so he can only screw up the Browns in so many ways.

1. St. Louis - QB Sam Bradford, Oklahoma - I guess his shoulder is okay after all. I always thought that injured shoulder cost him the #1 overall pick (because he should have come out last year). Obviously, we were all wrong, as he was able to rehabilitate the shoulder back to full strength.

2. Detroit - WR Dez Bryant, Oklahoma State - The Lions review all of their needs and realize that in homage to the great and almighty GM Matt Millen, the only wise choice is to choose a WR.

No, I'm just kidding. The Lions will take DT Ndamukong Suh, Nebraska.

3. Tampa - DT Gerald McCoy, Oklahoma - Apparently, everyone believes this guy has to be #3. Sounds good to me, but Tampa has a thousand holes to fill, so if anyone decides to do something weird it would be them. Actually, it will be funny if they choose this player, only because some fans will mistakenly believe they got Colt McCoy instead.

4. Washington - OT Russell Okung, Ok State - Apparently, everyone is expecting the Redskins to take the top left tackle... and there's no reason this wouldn't happen, so long as Dan Snyder doesn't go nuts. In a way, Dan Snyder's insanity can be analogous to the 96 ounce steak that John Candy eats in "The Great Outdoors." Dan Snyder is the kind of guy who would order the 96 ounce steak, but he would hire someone else to eat the steak who supposedly has great statistics indicating he could finish the 96 ounce steak. Dan Snyder would then pay this person much more than the benefit of having the free meals that finishing the steak provides... then Dan Snyder would discover that the person he hired can't even finish the steak. And that in a nutshell is the Washington Redskins for the last 10 years - overpaying players to perform certain tasks that they never even finish!

5. Kansas City - OT, Bryan Bulaga, Iowa - KC wants to protect their QB so they end up choosing Bryan Bulaga. That's a funny name. Makes me think of Baloo from Tale Spin.

6. Seattle - S, Eric Berry, Tennessee - Because this guy is supposed to be Ronnie Lott... and because he would be perfect for Cleveland at #7... he probably will be taken at #6.

7. Cleveland - WR Dez Bryant, Ok State - The Browns have a need at every position... and nothing would be better in my mind than drafting a talented wide receiver even if he is troubled. This would give the Browns at least one playmaker (outside of RB Jerome Harrison, if he qualifies, I'm not sure if there are any others). Also, this would be a nice way to say "thank you" to former GM Mangina and current Coach Mangina for dumping Braylon Edwards and only getting Chansi Stuckey and a special teams player who makes Coach Mangina his coffee each morning. Honestly though, the only way they screw this pick up is if they draft someone too high who is not supposed to be drafted until later.

8. Oakland - OT Bruce Campbell, Maryland - Supposedly, this guy is fast and has great numbers, and that tends to be all the Raiders draft on.

9. Buffalo - QB Jimmy Clausen, Notre Dame - I think the Bills are going to draft another QB to give their fans hope yet again. I realize they've already struck out on JP Losman (1st round) and Trent Edwards (3rd round)... but you still have the best odds of getting a successful QB in the 1st round in comparison to later rounds.

10. Jacksonville - DE Jason Pierre-Paul, So. Florida - It would be good to add another player with three names so Maurice Jones Drew doesn't feel lonely in the locker room.

11. Denver - LB Rolando McClain - The Broncos defense has been awful for a while, and last year they gave up 4.5 yards per carry. Ouch. A LB would help.

***Later picks
14. Seattle - RB CJ Spiller, Clemson - The Seahawks finally get a RB to replace all the absurd older guys they used last year (Orange Julius Jones, Edgerrin James, Jim Brown, etc).

20. Houston - RB Ryan Mathews, Fresno St - The Texans decide to end the short Steve Slaton fumbling era and draft a new RB that they can trust with the ball.

26. Arizona - WR Demaryius Thomas, Georgia Tech - They have to replace Boldin, right?

2nd round - New England - RB Jahvid Best, Cal - This guy is supposed to be lightning quick and would be a big change of pace from the other RBs currently on the Patriots roster.

3rd round - Cincinnati - QB Colt McCoy, Texas - The Bengals should take a low-risk QB... as Carson Palmer has had lots of injuries and it would be nice to groom a QB in the meantime.

3rd round - San Diego - RB Jonathon Dwyer, Georgia Tech - They have to replace LT, right? This guy sounds like a bigger back and the scouting report says he could be a featured back , though he played in a triple option offense, so all bets may be off.

4th round - Cleveland - RB Toby "Touchdown" Gerhart, Stanford - I just think it would be funny if the Browns drafted this prolific Stanford RB, just like the Browns did with Tommy "Touchdown" Vardell. By the way, Vardell didn't score many TDs, but the nickname from college stuck anyway.

***Person I could care less about
Tim Tebow - He's not a QB. I don't understand where he will end up or even what position he will be playing, so I' not bothering trying to figure who wastes a draft pick on him. There just isn't much upside.


Mighty Mike said...

I don't think there's any way the Browns take White. Just none. If I'm betting I say either Earl Thomas (safety) or they trade down.

I think the Seahawks go o-line or CJ Spiller with the 6th pick. They need to replace Walter Jones.

I'm predicting Colt McCoy get's drafted at the end of round 1 or beginning of round 2 (between 25-40) There's just a paucity of QBs this year.

Why can't Matt Millen do commentary for the draft? Oh would be that be great (bad pick, should've taken the receiver!)

MJ said...

I'm with Mighty here, I don't see the Browns taking White.

Gutsy Goldberg said...

Yeah, the Browns probably aren't taking Dez White. But that would be exciting if they did. I really want the Browns to get S Eric Berry. We shall see. My picks are more for entertainment anyways.

Publius said...

BTW, amazing discussion of Dan Snyder. The rumors today for the Off-Season Champs are McNabb and T. Owens. Hmmmmm

Gutsy Goldberg said...

Glad you enjoyed the discussion of Dan Snyder. He is out of control.