Thursday, March 10, 2005

Another Quick Word On Steroids Subpoenas

Really briefly, before I go onto another subject that I'm thinking about...

Doesn't the federal government have anything better to do than waste a whole day holding hearings about baseball's steroid problem? Can you imagine what it's like to be a scheduling secretary right now? I figure it's something like "Well we have the vote to put individual Americans in financial peril by upending the bankruptcy code at 9am today, then we have to make sure that terrorists on federal watchlists are protected by the 2nd Amendment at 11:30. After lunch we have to screw everyone over by flushing Social Security in the toilet. Ah hell, let another committee worry about ruining the country, we have to talk about steroids!" I mean, does anyone else think that the feds are a little out of their jurisdiction here? Let MLB police itself. Selig and Fehr finally figured it out and realized that 'roids is a bad thing. They have changed the league's policy. GREAT. No need to waste taxpayer dollars on flying a bunch of shrunken-nut, back-zitted guys to Washington. Enough already, move on.

6 comments:

Mighty Mike said...

Useless pandering on steriods always happens in the afternoon. I mean the morning is packed with undermining the middle class and the evening is destabilizing the Middle East, attacking Howard Stern and complaining about the budget deficit. I wonder if Sammy will sprint out onto the Senate floor like he runs out to the outfield.

B. Hutchens said...

And of course the late night activity includes debating over martinis of completely tearing up the ethics rules because the ruling party's leader is involved in it. However I am sure there is no longer a bug problem in either chambers.

MJ said...

Mikey, that's a great image. I'd love to see Sammy sprint into chambers holding that mini American flag like he did after 9/11. That would be great.

B. Hutchens said...

Or John Rocker running out while Lynrd Skynrd is playing in the background as Strom Thurmond's ghost looks over smiling.

About as good as eating drunken noodles.

Hitman said...

I'll side with Congress here. I'm glad they're conducting hearings. The more exposure of the crap that's been going on in baseball, the better in the long run. Most would agree, I think, that the new enforcement/punishment plan still doesn't go nearly far enough.

I favor blowing the roof off this thing. Reveal the juicers, the cheaters, for who they are. Make them sweat. Let their colleagues, their future colleagues in the minors and college, and the kids who idolize them know that crime doesn't pay, that those who use steroids will be caught, embarrassed, humiliated and disgraced.

Of course, to fully accomplish that, we need to see Mr. Bonds in the Capitol...

MJ said...

Hitman, I want to see cheating out of baseball also but these hearings are simply not the way to do it.

You are bringing people in to testify, presuming their guilt. Do I personally believe that McGwire and Sosa used steroids? You're goddamn right I do. Everyone believes it. But since we can't prove that they did, you can't drag these people in and make them answer questions as if they've done something wrong. There were no steroids laws in place in the major leagues before last year. I am not sure what a witch-hunt will accomplish. To me, this reeks of McCarthy-era tactics. The government really as a lot more important things to do. Now that the MLB has a tougher policy in place, we should move on and get back to the business of baseball. It doesn't matter how many days a first-offense suspension will last, the point is, you're not going to see much cheating going on because the cheater will be exposed to the public. That is a very strong deterrent and one that I think you discount.

Finally, all this heavy-handed moralistic bullshit about teaching the children, etc. That's best saved for Rev. Lovejoy's wife on The Simpsons. The US Congress doesn't care about the children, they only care about grandstanding for the cameras.