Monday, March 21, 2005

Know when to hold, Know when to Fold

If a woman had to decide between catching a fly ball and saving and infant's life, she would save the infant's life without even considering if there was a man on base.
-Dave Barry


Well folks the Madness that is the tournament has taken over. Top seeds are falling faster than the dollar. UConn, Kansas, Syracuse, Georgia Tech all went down like a Pi Phi on a Saturday night. Those of you who called it all, obviously need to quite their day jobs, move out to Vegas, and start gambling while drinking rum drinks with tiny umbrellas in them. Those that handled their picks like Dusty Baker handles starting pitching (read horrifically) I have a diagnosis for you: its called malaise. I am a sufferer from malaise. Teams I pick turn to crap. I was born in 1979. No Cleveland team has a won a championship since 1979. Coincedence? I think not. I pick Syracuse, a team that had played relatively well all year, and they lose to a bunch of ski bunnies (read Vermont). Wake lost to West Virginia team led by a Clevelander (Mike Gansey). Gansey who obviously has ice in his veins, couldn't miss and Wake's coach apparently came down with the stupids (gee man to man defense didn't work for 15 minutes..i know I'll keep trying it)

The next round seems to holds the possibility of intriguing matchups: rematch of Duke v. Kentucky.( damn you Christian Laettner). Bobby Knight v. refs, chairs, human decency. UNC v. Villanova (Big East v. ACC redux), Washington (of the non-Saint Louis variety) v. somebody else I don't care about.

Nonetheless as the madness continues here are few things to keep in mind: 1) Never have all Number 1 seeds made the final 4; 2) Politicians like the spotlight so expect John McCain to continue to sell out and yell at baseball 3) Sammy Sosa actually doesn't speak Spainish or English, he is only fluent in Yoruba 4) The NBA is getting close to the playoffs (but I'm uncertain if anyone cares at the moment)

2 comments:

Gutsy Goldberg said...

"top seeds going down faster than a Pi Phi on a Saturday night"-

This might be the greatest comedic contribution to society in the year 2005. You may even be on "The Tonight Show" by the end of the year.

MJ said...

Mikey, that was fantastic.

One thing: I don't think Sammy speaks Yoruba, I think it's Papiamento. Sidney Ponson is fluent (Aruba's local language) and the two of them have been seen holding hands in spring training.