Cheers and Jeers: Norwegian Iceberg Edition

Norwegian Iceberg
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Ingredients:
• Fill with Ice
• 3 shots Vodka
• 4 shots Sprite
• 1 shot blue Maui

Due to polar bear conditions here in the nation’s capitol, the drink of the week is the Iceberg. The District of Columbia deployed three plows along one road, salted, and hoped for that fiery ball in the sky known as the sun to get to work on time. Unfortunately, the sun failed to reach work and sub-zero temperatures locked the city into ice. This week’s sport should be called “Falling and Flailing.” I ate my MJ Flakes made with 100 % RAGE so let’s get onto it.

Before going onto the important business of cheering and jeering before the long weekend, I need to rant on Valentine’s Day. The connection with sport is easy. Follow my logic. I adore women. I also want naked time with my woman so the sport is attempting to maximize the fun part while minimizing annoying talks, and minimizing damage to your relationship and wallet (inverse relationship).

Woman (on the phone): “What are we doing on V-day?” --- Translation --- “you’d better think of something” (My brain—what do you mean we??? Is this the royal we from the big Lebowski? We do not do anything. It usually takes individual effort. Damn… I would really love some naked time on Wednesday. Time to play along)

Woman: “I really do not care what we do” --- Translation--- “if you make me look bad in front of my friends I will kill you” (Making girl look bad yields zero sexy time)
Woman: “I want to feel special” --- translation --- “make me feel special” (Special means she will be frisky)
Woman: “I’m up for anything” --- translation --- “JACKPOT—music to my ears”


I f#cking hate Valentine’s because it’s the most miserable holiday of the year. I pay more for what I normally get and I get my balls busted just for sport. Onto cheering and jeering…

Cheers: To Duke’s 4 game losing streak. I don’t care for Duke. No defense offered except that Bobby Hurley was annoying and Christian Laettner stinks. Too bad they got back to their winning ways last night. I hope the committee sends them to the NIT or better yet to the 8-9 game!!

Jeers: To annoying parents of annoying children. The apple does not fall far from the tree. Special jeers to parents who think any of the following:
a) My child is special (maybe… but Special Ed doesn’t count)
b) My child is going to make money playing sports or earn a college scholarship (nope— get used to it)
c) My child is going to do great things!! (Who knows… but your child’s coping skills won’t be improved by forcing your child to help fix your broken dreams).

Check out this video of classic parenting skills. I wasn’t aware that wrestling was supposed to be comfortable.

Cheers: To Samuel L. Jackson as a hockey coach. I love this idea. The very best actors should coach children (Mighty Ducks doesn’t count…) and teach them the life skills of ball busting, the upper cut, and Ezekiel 25-17. Other suggestions for coaching moves?

Cheers and Jeers: The Celtics won a game breaking their losing streak at 18!! See kids? Good things can happen to bad teams.

Happy long weekend to the BSD.