How did Peyton “you’ll be seeing me on TV ALL DAY” Manning win MVP? I’m so tired of hearing his skank arse speak on TV I’m going to vomit. Fine. You won the Super Bowl (congratulations) and now please taunt Eli and keep him locked in the basement picking his zits until he can win a big game. Do you think the Manning Family taunts each other?
Manning Family over the Holidays:
Peyton (after watching his awful commercial): “I made 88 million on that advertisement.”
Archie: “Shut up. You haven’t won a Super Bowl. I still own you. Look at me? I didn’t win s#%t in my career but people still love and remember me. Whatcha you got?”
Eli: “Daddy!!! Pay attention to me!!! I need Clearasil, braces, a new set of training wheels and Bobby Sue said she wouldn’t goto the dance with me. Make people love me!!”
Peyton (whispering to Archie): “Should we stuff Eli into the dog house or the basement?”
Archie: “The basement. The dog earns his keep around this house by barking at Houston Oiler Fans.”
Peyton (after stuffing Eli into the basement): “Now that I won the Super Bowl, I’m cooler than you.”
1) Dominic Rhodes for MVP: I’ll settle for a split MVP (with Addai). The Colts churned out 190 yards on the ground on a sloppy field.
Rhodes: 21 carries for 113 and 1 TD
Addai: 19 carries for 77, 10 catches for 66 yards
2) Cheers to the sloppy weather!! The dome Team proved they could play in nasty conditions. While Rexy dropped to snaps and forgot how to hand the ball off, Manning and company turned the ball over only three times (I know this sentence sounds odd but it’s true) compared to the Bears 5. I love outdoor games, bad weather, bone crunching hits, and I would have preferred this game to have been played in Fort Wayne Indiana in negative 10 degree weather. Dan Marino can wear his Isotoners. How can a team who plays at Soldier Field look so bad in a warm weather shower?
3) The Colts defense was plain nasty. They knocked Cedric Benson into the next time zone and you could hear the hits even in the rain. Now BSD provides insights into the mind of Bob Sanders and the Indy Secondary: “Who is this guy who keeps chucking the ball up into the Florida rain?? I have nightmares of Brady taking me out to a nice seafood dinner, and never calling me again but this guy is borderline retarded. I loved it. Keep throwing us the ball.”
4) Prince did not have a wardrobe malfunction. Janet Jackson sparked nipplegate and I was worried Prince might show us his true love of Ace and Gary. It was great to see him working in the rain but seriously… all I could think about was the “Charlie Murphy’s True Hollywood Stories” <
“Assemble your crew, I’ll be outside.”
5) As easy (and fun) as it is to blame Sexy Rexy, the vaunted Bears Defense looked stagnant. Rexy made several poor choices but he didn’t pound out 191 yards on the ground (See #1). Until he joins the defense, the Bears have nobody to blame but the D. The Bears are not a good come from behind team.
For next season, Rexy's training and preparation will involve a steady diet of no boobs, lots of film, and fearing Bob Sanders.
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