Wrestler DRAFT Rounds 3, 4

With the 12th pick in the draft, Gutsy Goldberg selects... Jake "The Snake" Roberts

Sending a box of snakes to your archrival (Macho Man Randy Savage) on his wedding day is just classic. Plus, he had one of the most memorable finishing moves, that thousand of fans would just chant for: "DDT, DDT!, DDT!..." Wikipedia describes it best ("driving an opponent's head into the mat"), and even has the origins for the DDT, which I had never heard of:

"Once during a match in his NWA days, Roberts had his opponent, the Grappler, in a front facelock, but was tripped. Roberts' opponent fell on his head, legitimately knocking him out. From that match, Roberts incorporated the move as his finisher, naming it the DDT, though instead of falling back, he stepped back before falling (which, as he explained on his DVD Pick Your Poison, was the quickest way to drive his opponent's head into the mat, and also gave the move a "snap" effect)."

I also learned the following:

"In early to mid-1991, Roberts engaged in a bitter feud with Earthquake after his 450-pound body "squashed" Damien (in actuality, it was hamburger stuffed in pantyhose with a small motor to make it look like a live snake was in the bag), and then used Damien's "carcass" to make "Quakeburgers", which he fed to on-air commentator Lord Alfred Hayes."

Ultimately, Jake "The Snake" Roberts was a bad-ass who carried around a snake to every match. Even though we all knew that wrestling was fake, Jake still would allow the snake to slither all over the opponent, which was definitely a real experience that each wrestler had to go through.
With the 13th pick in the draft, Gutsy Goldberg selects... Bill Goldberg

How could I not choose a wrestler who shares my name? In addition, he truly may be the most successful Jewish wrestler (or at least the only Jewish wrestler that we know of.) Plus, Bill Goldberg had an incredible 173 match undefeated streak to start his career!

Amazingly, Goldberg actually teamed with Bret Hart to win the Tag Team Championship (for one week)! Goldberg had some sweet "football" type moves including the "spearing" and the "jackhammer". This guy was an absolute beast who was strong as hell, take a look at this video, including catching a guy jumping at him from the top rope and just choosing to body slam him:

As for the next pick, all I have to say is... "Who's Next?!?!?"

With the next selection of the BSD Mock Wrestler Draft... Publius selections.

The Body, The Mind, and the Governing Body of Minnesota... Jesse Ventura

My first two draft picks were clear bad @asses. Stone Cold and The Undertaker flank the Governor as body guards. In the middle of the entourage, is the BODY!!

Navy Vet? Check. He served on the underwater demolition team. I have no idea what that means but it sounds bad@ss and must get you pussy. Movie star? Check. Predator!! With ARNOLD!! What??? Are all Predator stars required to serve as Governor? Wrestler? Check. Body breaker is the finishing move.

GOVERNOR!?!?! Of Minnesota? Check.

With the next selection, the Colonel chooses Nature Boy Ric Flair. Woooooo!!!!

Nature Boy has been wrestling since the dawn on the century and continues to wrestle to this day. Not any other wrestlers have that kind of longevity. He started out as one of the Four Horsemen with Arn Anderson and company and has gone up in the realms of the wrestling. Nobody could get out of his figure four leg lock (I know it really hurts from my brother trying it out on me) and nobody had man boobs than him. His entrance music of 2001 was classic and his fake blond hair was even classier.

Plus he got arrested for assaulting another person in North Carolina, so his gut slaps go outside the ring of wrestling entertainment. Mug shot attached. Here is a little montage of Slick Rick, the Living Legend, Nature Boy Ric Flair. Woooooo!!!!
With the next pick, MJ selects a real american hero, Sgt. Slaughter.

Not only was this the man that defended America's honor against the Iron Sheik, not only was he a member of the great fighting force of GI Joe (fighting Cobra/Baltimore Raves) at every turn, but he even found time to coach the Pittsburgh Steelers!

A true patriot, I salute my Sarge!

Peeps, Laz's next pick is gonna be Koko B. Ware.

Not only did he have a parrot, but he had the ghost buster, the most devastating move in all of wrestling (the razor's edge is 2nd). its a move where you pick the guy up in a suplex,
but instead of dropping back, you bring the guys head straight down into the mat. AMAZING. i remember that in wrestlemania VI he beat rick the model martel, which was awesome. but he did get his butt kicked by the big bossman, that was bad.

Mighty......Sting

So I have a confession to make. Growing up I wasn't really a fan of the WWF (now the WWE). Sure I watched it Sunday mornings but my true wrestling love was staying up Saturday Nights and watching NWA (National Wrestling Alliance). Sure it was a little Southern but the promos were a little more emotional, the characters more charismatic and the wrestling a little crisper. Later the NWA became WCW and it still was more enjoyable to me. I suppose we all have our naughty pleasures and outside of the heroine and hooveryacht flying enjoyment of NWA/WCW wrestling is it. Unfortunately all good things come to an end when Vince McMahon bought WCW. There were two wrestlers that stood out as legends of WCW: 1) Ric Flair and 2) Sting. Which is how WCW ended Flair v. Sting.

Sting started as kind of a knock off the Ultimate Warrior but the key difference was The Stinger could actually wrestle. Which allowed him from becoming a cheap icon and instead a legend. The Stinger Splash, The Stinger Death Drop and of course number two on the submission moves list...The Stinger Deathlock. Later Sting would evolve into more of a Crow/Phantom of the Opera type character which elevated Sting to one of the best wrestlers ever for his opposition to the then most popular wrestling alliance ever...The NWO. As such my next selection if for my youth and for the NWA/WCW....Sting


Mighty... Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat.

Probably not the best well known wrestler but one of best technical wrestlers of all time. He was involved in of the top two best matches/feuds of all time: Flair v. Steamboat and Macho Man v. Steamboat.

Honestly if you like wrestling at all the Macho Man v. Steamboat is considered the best WWF wrestling match ever. Steamboat was the Face's Face. In other words he is probably the only famous wrestler ever to only be a good guy. He was just too likeable. Anyway as someone that enjoys wrestling at its finest and with a head nod to history I'm going with Ricky The Dragon Steamboat
So, with MJ's 4th selection, I'm going for the blinding glare of the bling - the Million Dollar Man Ted DiBiase.

The Million Dollar Man taught guys like Barry Bonds, Donald Trump, and Mark Cuban everything they know about how to behave like a multi-millionaire douchebag and it was his nasty and arrogant streak that made him one of the greatest characters in wrestling history. Don't believe me? Read this:

"DiBiase would invite fans into the ring or to the interview platform to perform humiliating acts (such as kissing his feet) for money. One of the more infamous of these skits was when he invited a young boy onto a stage and told him if he bounced a ball 15 times in succession,
DiBiase would pay him $500. After the 14th bounce, DiBiase kicked the ball away, sending the boy home without pay."

The Million Dollar Man, together with his bodyguard Zeus, were the best bad-guy duo in wrestling and they give my four-man team the nasty edge it needs.

With my next selection, The Colonel is going to have to go with the wrestler that most looks like Bald Bull, King Kong Bundy. Not only is King Kong named after a great video game but he has got his name from a serial killer too, or as his promotion people say after Al Bundy from Married With Children. Many people feared this 6'4 444 lbs beast and only the Immortal Hulk Hogan survived his Bundy Splash, which involved running real fast into the turnbuckle and sitting on people.

This is a great video of Bundy teamed up with Big John Studd taking on then good guy, Andre the Giant and the Immortal Hulk Hogan.

Laz's last pick is Tito Santana, the "matador" of WWF.

he had the flying forearm, known as either the flying burrito, or the flying jalepeno. also, he most resembles the futurama cartoon when bender was a wrestler "a.k.a. bender the offender a.k.a. the gender bender" and in that episode, bender fought "the foreigner" who was a robot dressed as a matador and looked exactly like tito santana. Then to taunt the crowd, the robot said "i'm not from here, i have strange customs" which just pissed off the audience.

Publius... Trish Stratus
* World Wrestling Federation / Entertainment

* WWE Women's Championship (7 times)
* WWE Hardcore Championship (1 time )
* WWE Babe of the Year (2001, 2002, 2003)

Professional Wrestler and fitness model!!! Damn. That's how you round out a posse (Stone Cold, The Governing Body, and the Undertaker). dont mess with my posse.

And with the last pick in the draft... Gutsy Goldberg selects...

Hacksaw Jim Duggan - Hoooo!!!! A true patriot who often carries an American flag and has 2 X 4 with him just to prove that he can throw it high up in the air and catch it. Now, my team is complete with 2 amazing champions (Hulk Hogan and Goldberg) and I have 2 weapons to fend off competitors (Jake "The Snake" Roberts and his snake and a piece of lumber from Hacksaw Jim Huggan.)