Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Week 10 - Must See TV

Must See TV in the coming week is not in the NFL. It's not in the NBA. It's over in Europe... as the home and home playoffs get under way on Saturday November 14 and Wednesday November 18th. Each matchup will determine a World Cup berth... and each loser will be sent home with nothing! This is must-see TV! Except it's on Setanta sports and some other network... so you'll have to go to a bar most likely to find these games...

Here are the matchups:
France vs. Ireland
Portugal vs. Bosnia-Herzegovina
Greece vs. Ukraine
Russia vs. Slovenia

Now, NFL time... and in honor of Balki from Perfect Strangers... I'm picking all the games Balki-style. Which mascot would win in a fight?

Manwich Matchup of the Week
Patriots @ Colts - A huge game for both teams, as always. I think that Patriots know how to tame Colts. That's my guess anyway.
Pick: Pats

Upset of the Week
Packers @ Cowboys - After the Packers shockingly lost to Tampa Bay, they should get their shit together for this week. I hope. Plus, meat Packers could really beat up Cowboys.
Pick: Packers

Opening Round Playoff Game #10
Teams that have been eliminated: Cincy (against Denver in week 1)!, St. Louis, Washington, Buffalo, Jacksonville, Tampa, Oakland, Detroit, and now San Fran.
Bills @ Titans- The Titans are 2-6 and are probably finished. The Bills are 3-5. A loss for either team should be a final nail in the coffin! But... we all know Titans could just step on a Bill and destroy them.
Pick: Titans

Fantasy Football Game of Interest
Eagles @ Chargers - Most fantasy games will be decided by this game. I don't know who would win between a lightning bolt and an eagle. I think the eagle gets electrocuted, right?
Pick: Chargers

Other Games
Bears @ 49ers - Seriously? Who could beat a bear? Not someone from 1849!
Pick: Bears

Jaguars @ Jets - I think a Jet could either run over the Jaguar or scare it away with its large engines.
Pick: Jets

Broncos @ Redskins - Normally, as w/ the Colts-Patriots, I would say that people trump horses. However, we all know that these Redskins are a bunch of sissies who have no business taming a Bronco.
Pick: Broncos

Bengals @ Steelers - A Bengal would ruthlessly attack a Steeler and chew off an arm.
Pick: Bengals

Lions @ Vikings - Vikings have swords and shields which enable them to survive any Lion attack.
Pick: Vikings

Saints @ Rams - I'm just picking the Saints, because they can handle taming a Ram.
Pick: Saints

Falcons @ Panthers - This is a tough one. I think Falcons can swoop out of the sky and make enough attacks to take down a Panther.
Pick: Falcons

Buccaneers @ Dolphins - Wow. A Buccaneer would totally destroy any Dolphin! Granted, if Aquaman were around, he could probably organize the Dolphins (along w/ other sea creatures) to tip over the ship carrying the Buccaneers. However, under the Balki method, a Buccaneer would certainly take down a Dolphin.
Pick: Buccaneers

Chiefs @ Raiders - Eesh. Even under the Balki method, this is a difficult call. It would be quite the matchup to see the Chiefs take on the Raiders. I'm assuming that the Raiders have advanced weapons (i.e. gunpowder) allowing them to prevail.
Pick: Raiders

Seahawks @ Cardinals - It's an aerial battle! According to the all-knowing wikipedia, a seahawk can refer to an osprey, a fish-eating bird of prey. Cardinals only eat seeds but have strong bills. Obviously, the Seahawk would prevail, even though they don't normally eat birds.
Pick: Seahawks

Ravens @ Browns - I'm assuming the Browns are either a) small elves, or b) an edible brownie. Either way, the Raven will have no trouble.
Pick: Ravens

Last Week: 8-5
Season: 85-44
Manwich: 4-5 (Eagles lost to the Cowboys)
Upset of the Week: 3-6 (Go Chargers go!)

and now... a new feature...
NBA games of the Week-
last week's "Games of the Week" - Miami beat up Denver... and then Denver lost two more games on their road trip.
Cavs beat a depleted Magic team, but Shaq held his own (surprisingly) against Dwight Howard.

This week...

Cavs @ Heat - Thursday 11/12 - LeBron. Wade. Heat are actually 6-1 as of this moment.
Lakers @ Nuggets - Friday 11/13 - Will the Nuggets lose 4 in a row?
Spurs @ Mavs - Wed 11/18 - Both teams are off to slow starts with their new pieces.

NBA's most surpising team (2 weeks in):

Milwaukee Bucks - Almost a unanimous vote for being the worst team in the Eastern Conference.... they are currently 4-2... with a marquee win over Denver tonight! It's still early, but rookie PG Brandon Jennings has been absolutely sensational. Usually, rookie PGs and rookie Centers take more time to adjust, but Jennings seems like a seasoned pro so far.

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