For the first time since 1994, we are going to be treated to a game 7 in the NBA finals. I can’t wait. Just as a preview of things that could happen, let’s take a look at some of the likely possibilities:
1. The Darko Debacle
The Pistons realize that Duncan has mental problems with the free throw line. Coach Larry Brown decides to institute his own version of “Hack-A-Shaq” on Tim Duncan. The Pistons cruise out to a huge lead of 15 points, as Duncan shoots 2-18 from the free throw line. Larry Brown is smiling most of the time but fails to call off the fouling of Duncan early enough, as Ben Wallace, Rasheed, Tayshaun, and McDyess all foul out. In the 4th quarter, Brown is forced to bring in Darko after Darvin “Honey” Ham fouls out. The lead completely evaporates and the Spurs are up by 2 and the Pistons have one last possession. Darko gets the ball after Parker deflects a Billups pass, and Darko launches a desperation 3-pointer, it’s on-target, but ends up going 10 feet over the hoop and into the 3rd row of the stands. Spurs win.
2. The Eva Longoria Conspiracy
As we all know, Tony Parker’s girlfriend is at the game as usual (Eva Longoria, his super-hottie girlfriend who just happens to be working on an ABC TV show. Coincidence? I think not. I’ve already heard rumors that Alias’s Jennifer Garner is going out with Steve Nash). Parker, unsure of the Spurs’ chances, tells Eva to “do whatever it takes to ensure a victory.” Eva gets a court-side seat and on the crucial last possession of the game, almost walks on to the court and takes her shirt off revealing a bikini. Billups is completely distracted, allowing Parker to reach in and steal the ball. Spurs win.
3. The Horry Hiring
Robert Horry saves the day again by hitting 6 3s in the 4th quarter. He then immediately accepts the position of Cavaliers’ GM. Cavs owner Dan Gilbert says “Horry’s hiring shows that we are committed to winning.” Gilbert’s focus on assembling a front office capable of winning a pickup basketball game doesn’t translate to on-court success though. Gilbert does concede during the press conference that if Horry had only hit 3 3s, he would have hired Danny Ferry. Spurs win, Cavs lose.
4. The Billups Blunder
Chauncy Billups does his best Jon Starks impression of the 1994 NBA Finals Game 7, and finishes at 1-12 from 3-point land, as the Pistons get edged out. Spurs win.
5. Championship Coach Larry Brown
The Pistons win, and Larry Brown is lauded as the greatest nomadic coach of all time. Granted, I don’t know who else is in his category, but Brown is a great coach either way, despite his nomadic tendencies. Pistons win.
Despite all of the endless possibilities, I’m sticking with my original prediction when it all started, and the Spurs will find a way to win this Game 7.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
All very interesting and possible scenarios.
I can't tell yet who the NBA league office is rooting for. I'll make my predictions on who wins the game based on who the refs are and how they call the 1st quarter.
Finally, fortunately for both teams, they have coaches who don't wear hair gel and secretly smoke 3 packs a day. Yes, I'm referring to Pat Riley. While he may be considered a basketball genius, he coached the Knicks out of the title in Game 7 back in 1994. He should've had Starks firmly planted on the bench once he saw how ice cold Starks was. We had Rolando Blackman, a career 48.9% shooter on the bench. He could've saved the Knicks that night.
For the record I think Duncan is one of THE best players in the league. If I could have any big man, it would probably be Duncan. However late in the game Duncan just hasn't been dominating. He has looked nervous, tentative and willing to let the whirling dervish that is Manu. The key though is Tony Parker, if Parker is the human turnover machine that he was yesterday, Spurs are going down. Eva better get her man straightened out
Just to be clear, I still think Duncan is the best power forward in the game. I just had to poke fun at his recent free throw shooting.
Tony Parker's turnovers are key. He's not the most consistent player, but if he can play an efficient game, the Spurs should win.
Post a Comment