Everyone's a critic, none more than myself. But I don't pretend to know anything outside of the realm of sports, business and sports business. Sure I may babble on about politics or film or music but I only know what everyone else knows and I offer no real insight on these subjects. Which leads me to why snooty architecture columnists for the New York Times shouldn't be allowed to talk about sports facility design.
Poofy Architecture Column
In reading this, I became enraged that a girlyman like Nicolai Ouroussoff (doesn't that name reek of Franco-pretentiousness?) should be allowed to make a living commenting on architechture. If it were up to him, the new Yankee Stadium would be an artist's paradise and would look something like the monstrosity that Daniel Libeskind is trying to push onto Ground Zero. Look, we get it, sports fans are slovenly and uncouth. We drink beer instead of wine, we eat hot dogs instead of boudin noir and we like to wear t-shirts instead of frilly silk blouses.
What I don't understand is how a supposed intellectual like this Ouroussoff character doesn't understand that the new Yankee Stadium design is EXACTLY what Yankee fans want. We want a ballpark that looks like the old Yankee Stadium of 1923-1974, before it was renovated into its current form. We don't want something that is arty or avant garde or overly conceptual. All we want is a ballpark that looks like other ballparks with cool features, good sightlines, wider seats and concourses and all the other stuff that folks in San Fran, Baltimore, Philly, Denver and Cleveland have.
I'll be happy to talk over the finer points of why this stadium deal is great for New York, great for the Yankees and great for Yankee fans. I'll be happy to talk about how much financial sense this makes for all parties involved and I'll even talk about how the facility design is flawless with respect to revenue maximization, revenue management and fan experience enhancement. I'll be happy to but I don't think Euro-boy would understand any of it. He's too busy buffing his fingernails and telling his purse-dog Coco to get off the Rocaille antique furniture.
Why do intellectuals have to poo-poo everything, even stuff they know nothing about. I'll bet Nicolai hasn't been to a ballgame before. You know why? Because paté and caviar aren't served at ballparks.
Hey Nicolai, I'll make you a deal. You quit writing about stuff you know nothing about and I promise you'll never see me at the ballet or at the other half-dozen snooty places you go to drink your demitasse and eat your petit fours. Piss off, Nicolai.
(PS -- If it seems that I know a lot about this frenchy Euro crap, it's because my folks are European and I was exposed, against my will, to the less manly things in life. Damn those parents!)
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1 comment:
Freud would be very proud.
Ballparks really haven't and shouldn't change from the concept of the Roman Colissuem. There were 3 things that made the Roman Colissuem great and its the same 3 things that I look for in a stadium today. 1)I want to get in. 2) I want to see grown men fighting with tridents or baseball bats without having to crane my neck around a pole. And 3) I want to get out of the stadium without my face pushed into some fat dude's arm pit. The only advance we have made since the days of Rome is the creation of super jumbo pretzel and the kosher hot dog.
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