MABSD: Of Clocks and Kings

So today's Monday Morning Back Seat Driver is coming to you in the afternoon (MABSD). Mainly this is because Delta airlines blows and it took me 12 hours to get home. Between their policy of maintaining overbooked flights, mechanical problems in Montreal, not enough sandbags on the plane and the fact that the company is run on the slogan "I'll ruin your day like we ruined our company". At least their were no Snakes on the Mother Fucking Plane.

There is an old saying "even broken clocks are right twice a day". I was thinking about that when Ron Jaworski debated Iron Mike on ESPN Sunday Morning Countdown on if the current Bears were as good as the 1985 Bears. Typically Ron is the best analysis in the business. However Ron listed facts and figures to explain why the 2006 Bears were better, the man who coached the 1985 Bears focused his steely eyes onto the camera and said "The only thing better about this year's Bears team is the coach". This is a man that coached the team and his closing argument of putting Ron in the camel clutch seemed convincing. While the 2006 version fell Dolphins same as the 1985 version. The difference is the the MNF classic had Marino passing like craz while this years game had Joey Harrington combing his beard and Rex Grossman doing an impersonation of a Steve Spurrier product. With most of the NFC's elite teams losing this week (Chicago, Dallas, Atlanta, Minnesota and Saint Louis) the NFC seems fairly wide open. Honestly the best way to increasing your creds for Super Bowel contender seems to be not playing (Giants - wait can I get a ruling on if the bye week is different than playing the Texans?).

The King of football now is the turnover. When you look through the loss columns you can point to the turnover battle as the reason for the loss. Grossman's 3 picks, Brady's 4 INTs, Vicks 2 picks and a fumble, etc,etc,etc. Football today is played conservative. Its a short passing routes, with control offenses. This means mistakes cause radical shifts in field position (intercepting a pass intended for 10 yards is very different than intecepting a pass intended 40 yards). Coaches play books are not designed for chewing up yardage quickly and quarterbacks rarely today have the training or freedom to run the no-huddle offense/play calling at the line. Manning truly is a throwback quarterback to the 1980s when QBs were often co-equal offensive coordinators. This is also not exactly the golden age of quarterbacks. How many current starters are in the prime of hall of fame careers? How many are in the prime of Pro Bowl careers? There is Brady and Manning and then a number of borderliners, not quit theres and never will bes. Offenses and quarterbacks that mistakes these days just don't have the ability to rescue themselves. Which is why I think picking games is an attempt in futility most of the time because its really a question of which quarterback or team will make more mistakes. I think this is why the Colts trouncing of the Pats was so surprising. Not because Brady made mistakes but because Belichek coached like Mike Martz or Andy Reid. Throwing the ball repeatedly against a defense that is weakest against the run sounds like a recipe for disaster.


A few college thoughts.....Louisville plays Rutgers on Thursday a victory there could nearly lock up a spot in the BCS Championship Game for this soon to be Big East champion. My sense is that only Florida has the chance for hopping Louisville given the tougher schedule.

Monday Thoughts… Election Week edition

This week will bring the end of TV executive’s favorite season namely election season!! The parties will spend down their last dimes handing the TV stations huge sums of money with the hope that the money will somehow attract voters. Enjoy the electronic machines brought you by the “Help America Vote Act” (it neither helps America nor does it help America vote… discuss).

Week 2 (Mighty on the road in NYC) is over. I hope he is alive. I think so. To see how much energy Mighty has and because election day reminds me of the swarm of lawyers that decended on Florida in 2000, I thought this comic is fitting for election night mob action. Here is to Democracy in action!!

In Washington, DC, we have election night parties. This one will be interesting. I don’t think anyone has a damn clue what will happen.

1) Any Given Sunday: Midseason Edition

The NFL Sunday left one undefeated team. Next week, the top ranked NFC Bears will take their show on the road for a match-up with the Giants. The Giants squeaked by the Texans!?!?!?!!? This begins the Bears East Coast road show (at Giants, at Jets Magana, at New England). We will discuss the Bears after these games. If the Bears sweep, I'll send Hitman a card. If the Bears lose 2, I'll send my bill.

Cobra Commander has a 2 game margin on Cincy. Who would have predicted the Steelers and the Steamers have the same record by mid-season? San Diego (whale’s vagina) and JAX have early claim to the Wild card in the AFC. The NFC isn’t nearly as clear since the Rams and the Seahawks can’t seem to win and NFC east is a disaster. ATL has one spot right now.

Okay, my NFL rant this week is with the Pats. After throwing the ball vs. the Vikings and running them into the ground, they decided on a track meet with the Colts. Well, they don’t have the firepower. That was the most miserable game plan I’ve seen. I remember what a ball control, hard running team did against the Rams in the super bowl. The Pats could have and should have stuck with the running game. Instead, Brady threw 4 INTS. So concludes my rant.

2) I wanted to send pre-emptive Cheers and Get Well Soon for Joe Pa. During Saturday’s game against Bucky Badger, he broke his leg and sprained his knee. Get Well Soon Joe Pa. You’re a college football icon and even with a broken leg, he wouldn’t sit down. He continued to call plays. That’s a tough 80 year old man.

3) Free Agency: this is usually MJ’s zone but it seems that the amount of pitching available on the open market (Zito and Schmitt) is significantly less than other years. The market has a few 2nd tier pitchers (Weaver, Suppan) but not many top starters. Why is this? Note: due to hitman's haloscan's comments, the question is expanded-- why the overall lack of talent in free agency this year?

The Dolphins Are Who We Thought They Were

I mean, they are who we thought they were. We played them in 1985, who the hell takes the 13th game of the season like it's bullshit. Bullshit! We played them the 13th game, everybody played four quarters - the Dolphins are who we thought they were! And that's why we took the damn field!

Now if you want to crown them, then crown their ass!

But they are who we thought they were! And we let 'em off the hook!

Cheers and Jeers: San Diego Silver Bullet Edition

Ingredients:

• 2 oz Vodka (Absolut)
• 2 oz Sambuca

While I do love scotch and my dog Baxter I have to come clean….I'm no saint (at least compared to Dorothy Mantooth). I certainly have done my far shares of mean spirited things from mooning random people, scissor kicking TFF Charlie Weis in the head and taking a girl out for a nice seafood dinner and not calling her back (to be fair I've never committed sex crimes at a bar with a Halloween theme…ahem Publius). However I make up for my moral laxness with experience. I've been to the Great Wall of China, I've looked at the Eiffel Tower, and I've even seen a grown man satisfy a camel. As such I think I have the credentials to decide if something is staying classy or not. So here's my handy dandy guide….

Deliberating Injuring Players: Not classy.

Screw you Sean Salisbury it's never cool to go after a player in an attempt to hurt them. Reggie Bush suffered an ankle injury after an admittedly dirty hit. It's not ok in public, its not ok on the football field and its probably not ok on an IRS agent to try hurt someone. Unless the person in question deserves it like if he did a judo chop to the throat like Reggie Bush did. Or so I hear.

Bashing Tiki's Decision to Retire: Not Classy

I've seen Michael Irvin's wardrobe, he's on thin ice to begin with in staying classy. Going after Tiki Barber for a team distraction on the decision is the brick that breaks the camel's back. Never mind this is a guy that routinely defends TO as a non-factor in team chemistry but let's rewind oh 9 months or so. Anyway else remember the general rooting for Jerome Bettis, who publicly announced his retirement and his Detroit citizenship. Somehow Bettis announcing his retirement was incentive for the team to win the big one but Tiki's retirement choice is a distraction.

ESPN's Food Allowance: Classy. Really Classy.

ESPN , in a huge step forward for labor relations, is giving the whole MNF crew $5 bucks at the espn cafeteria. Nice guys. How about tiny salt packets for open wounds? Or you could have everyone live in little Hoovervilles in Bristol and just deduct it from their paycheck. You stay classy, Bristol.

Meet the new ESPN Boss

Rush Limbaugh commenting on Michael J Fox:This is a toughie. I'll let Stephen Colbert handle this moral quandary.

And now for a little cheering and jeering.....

Cheers: To the start of the NBA season. After Game 1 I'm re-thinking a lot of my claims. I'm already on the Utah winning its division bandwagon.

Jeers: To Maureen Dowd's self-fluffing interview of Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert in Rolling Stones magazine. I find the best way to handle any interview is include in any article I write by saying why I'm better, followed by self-indulgent commentary on why the person(s) should bask in my glory and then finish up with self-indulgent commentary. "I thought Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert might be a little nervous to meet with me. I was the real news commentator, after all, and they were the mock." Maureen Dowd needs a meeting with the octagon or something.

Cheers: Louisville v. West Virginia. I really don't want to see a Big East team in the BCS Championship Game so this game eliminates one of the contenders. That said Louisville looks fairly impressive offensively. Wow.

Jeers: To Maryland for handing down a ruling on what constitutes rape that seems to be based on Man Law's "you poke it you own it" (i.e. once penetration occurs consent can not be revoked). I'm not lawyer but I did see Matlock at a bar and while the sound was turned off I feel qualified in saying that this ruling is fairly depressing.

Judge Eddie Griffin Presiding

Colonel Sanders Finger Lickin' Picks For All Degenerate Gamblers Out There - Week 9

Ok so I suck...I really suck at trying to pick games each week. I might as well just use my 2 year old nephew and have him pick the pretty colored helmets. Since I have seemed to have created a disturbance in the force with the using the imperial forces in my last blog, so now I am going to show how the power of the force overcomes even the dark side.



Now onto my picks or lack of picks:

ATL (-5) at DET: ATL, Don't normally go against the home dog, but the Lions just blow this year and ATL plays well in the dome or whatever shape Ford Field is.

CIN (+3) at BAL: CIN, I remember back in the old days when Bernie Kosar used to run down the field against Ickey Woods and James Brooks. Those were the days before Cobra was terrorizing the Joe.

DAL (-3) at WAS: DAL, Ok if Washington can not beat the Titans at home, then they can't beat the Rib King's team.

GB (-3) at BUF: BUF, another one of those too close to call games but gotta go with the home field advantage.

HOU (-13) at NYG: NYG, who was the QB that lead Texans down the field last week, Sage Rosenfels???? Anybody named after herb, unless it is Mary Jane can't overtake the G-men in Giants Stadium.

KC (+3) at STL: KC, the Battle of Misery. Gotta go with the Claire McCaskill on this one. She has Marty McFly on her side, how could you lose.

MIA (+13.5) at CHI: CHI, can the Bears ever play a somewhat decent team? The NFC North is like the Big 12 of the NFL and the Bears are Texas.

NO (-1) at TB: NO, I am still bitter about TB beating the Bungals down there, I think that NO can pull it out.

TEN (-9.5) at JAC: JAC, this is one of those hard lines that I know that I am going to lose.

MINN (-5) at SF: MINN, wow land of the Whizzinator is not favored by more than a TD in the land of pot and honey

CLE (+12.5) at SD: SD, Sorry Clevelanders but I am happy that I have LDT on my fantasy team this week...I wonder if he will top the 41 points from last week, likely.

DEN (+2) at PITT: DEN, Are the Vegas people telling me that Denver and Pittsburgh are on equal footing? (you normally get 3 points for being homefield advantage). Chaz Batch ain't Roetheslignberugaefdg from last year.

INDY (+3) at NE: NE, the Vegas people are trying to coerce you into thinking that Indy can win this. NE tore up the Bungals with their run and the Colts run d is even worse than the Bungals.

OAK (+9) at SEA: SEA, can you think of a worse MNF game...I guess ARI/CHI but this whoever picked the MNF games this year needs to be fired from ESPN and join Harold Reynolds in a lawsuit against them.

Last Week: 2-11-1
Total: 56-47-11

Week 9 – Mission Objectives

I think its time to organize the blog. I found out that the NFL is having a contest for the “best Super Bowl commercial ever.” http://nfl.com/superad - How people will be judged seems kind of vague as it only says “Contestants will be judged on their idea's originality, how well their pitch is tied to the NFL and on how well the idea translates to television.” So, I’m inviting all the millions of readers of BSD to help contribute any ideas they may have about TV commercials involving the NFL.

There is only one problem with this contest is that it only takes place in three cities – New York, Dallas, and Denver. This means that if anyone on the blog decides to do this, there’s a limited amount of time to do it. Here are the dates and places where you have to be to sell your superad - New York - Giants Stadium on 11/17 & 11/18, Denver - Invesco Field on 12/8 & 12/9 .

The New York dates are on a Friday, and on a Saturday during the Ohio St. – Michigan game. Even if none of us participate in this interesting contest due to the limited available days, I think that BSD may be able to conjure up some great ideas for our own commercial. So, I invite everyone to post ideas as they come up during the next few weeks. Maybe we could tie-in something w/ Cobra Commander and Sgt. Slaughter? Not sure, but I’ll try and brainstorm as well.

On to the games…

Manwich Matchup of the Week -
Indianapolis at New England – As if there was any doubt this week who was getting a Manwich… every person in America will probably talk back and forth about this game during this week. I’m going with the home team because a loss here will 1) motivate the Colts throughout the season, 2) end the silly talk about going undefeated, and 3) one of my superstitions is that when teams play only once during the season, the rematch goes the other way, therefore, Indy should lose just so they can surprise the Pats if they have to play in the playoffs. Pick: New England

Upset of the Week-
Cincinnati at Baltimore – The Ravens are 3.5 point favorites, so this qualifies as an upset, and Cobra Commander should just stop complaining right now. The Bengals are facing near desperation mode, and cannot afford to fall further behind the Ravens. As long as the Bengals don’t give up any defensive touchdowns to the Ravens (like most of the other teams Baltimore has played), the Bengals should be able to squeak this one out. Also, the Benglas have an advantage with a dancing Ocho Cinco. Pick: Cincy

Atlanta at Detroit- This could be a shootout in the dome. Pick: Atlanta

Dallas at Washington – The Redskins had a bye, and I’m guessing that will be very helpful in their preparations for Tony Romo-cop. Pick: Washington

Green Bay at Buffalo – This game could go either way. Pick: Buffalo

Houston at N.Y. Giants – Eeessh… just when I was ready to use David Carr as my backup fantasy QB, he gets benched last week in favor of Sage Rosenfels, throwing my whole fantasy team into disarray. Pick: Giants

Kansas City at St. Louis – Will each coach have to attempt to cry in honor of Dick Vermeil? Pick: St. Louis

Miami at Chicago – Has anyone else out there ever played NES Play Action Football? These were my two favorite teams to use in that game. Granted, the game only had 8 teams. The game was really revolutionary because players fatigued. The problem was, the fatigue formulas in the game weren’t right – if you didn’t alternate QBs on each drive, your QB would get carted off the field from exhaustion by the third quarter. Pick: Chicago

New Orleans at Tampa Bay – This could be a tremendous game. Every NFC South game is a tough one to pick, but I have to believe in America’s team. Pick: New Orleans

Tennessee at Jacksonville – Jacksonville is the most unpredictable team in the NFL. I’m never going to trust them again in a “survivor pool.” Pick: Jacksonville

Minnesota at San Francisco – I don’t condone gambling… however I felt like a degenerate gambler watching New England taking on the Vikings this past Monday. The tiebreaker for this pool I’m in is “total Monday Night points.” I picked 40, my competitor picked 38. With 12 minutes to go, the score was already 31-7, so I was pretty optimistic. Time was ticking away, and with 4 minutes left the Vikings went for it on 4th down from the New England 10 yard line, because they didn't want a measly field goal. Amazingly, that wasn't the end of the drama.... the Vikings then got the ball back again with 2 minutes to go, and Mewelde Moore ran 60 yards to the New England 15!!!! (I’m getting excited) The backup QB, Brooks Bollinger, then threw to a wide-open WR in the endzone (could it be?!?)… but he threw one of those high-lofting balls (a meatball? A floater? A girlie throw?), giving the Patriots enough time to intercept it. (My heart sinks as I’ve now lost)......But wait! The Patriots didn't decide to just take a knee, the cornerback started running it back (I have a chance!)- 30 yards, 40 yards, 50 yards, 60 yards!... until finally QB Brooks Bollinger stopped him at the Viking 30 yard line. What were the odds that Brooks Bollinger would manage to stop me at both ends of the field? Pick: Minnesota

Cleveland at San Diego – No, this is not one of my six designated weeks to pick the Browns. Pick: San Diego

Denver at Pittsburgh – I’m going with the desperate team here, no matter how foolish that may seem. Pick: Pittsburgh

Oakland @ Seattle – The uncertainty of David Carr has forced me to start Seneca Wallace in that one fantasy league. The good news … he’s playing the Raiders! Pick: Seattle

Last Week: 10-4 (back on track)
Season: 70-44
Manwich: 6-3 (thank you Peyton)
Upset of the Week: 2-6 (Go Vick Go!)

Wednesday Video Fun



Dorothy Mantooth is a Saint!

Confessions Of A Lapsed Columnist

Forgive me Sandwich, for I have sinned. It has been 11 days since my last rant. Much of what I am about to discuss is technically old news although, in my own self-centered universe, things don’t happen until I’ve commented on them. Here are the things floating around in the margins of my mind. I hope that The Sandwich doesn’t impose too severe a penance upon me for my absence from this Holy Blog.

On Baseball:

1. Although the World Series ended nearly a week ago, most will remember it as being marred by poor play and even poorer weather. Inclement weather is something that happens and, as much as any other factor, is part of the game. So when I saw this, I immediately viewed it as about as bad an idea as I’ve ever read. Are people actually suggesting a neutral site for the World Series? Has everyone gone mad? That’s a total junk nonsense idea and logistically impossible, to boot.

2. I am a diehard Yankee fan so uttering this in public may get me excommunicated from Yankeedom but I have to say that I think Derek Jeter’s doing a terrible job as captain. Frankly, I don’t even see the need for captains in baseball. There is no true leadership required in baseball since, unlike basketball and hockey, it is a completely reactive sport (hitters react to pitchers and fielders react to hitters). What’s a rah-rah speech going to do when a team can’t hit a pitcher with a 95 mph fastball and a nasty slider? How will a “do as I do” guy help other pitchers throw strikes?

But I digress. Although I am now of the opinion that Alex Rodriguez should be traded for a package of pitching and youth, I think Jeter could done far more to get the pressure off his beleaguered teammate. A guy as media-savvy and intelligent as Jeter, with as much capital as he has earned with the local and national press, could’ve easily hissed a few words of support (even if he didn’t mean them) and ended the story. By remaining silent, Jeter seems to have consciously sabotaged ARod’s footing in New York. Not that ARod is blameless by any stretch; but it seems to me as though this year’s winner of the Hank Aaron Award, a guy that might end up winning the AL MVP, could have been a better teammate and captain.

One more thing on the topic – guys like Jeter make for terrible captains anyway. Michael Jordan shared his captaincy with Bill Cartwright specifically because guys like Jeter and Jordan, guys who have the mental toughness to block out anything unrelated to the task at hand, simply can’t relate to the more sensitive guys on their teams. The Yankees went seven seasons without an official captain and probably should’ve considered naming Posada as Jeter’s co-captain. You need a man of the people, not a demi-God who is unapproachable.

3. First, a direct quote from the mouth of Detroit Tigers closer Todd Jones:

“I wouldn’t want a gay guy being around me,” Jones told the paper. “It’s got nothing to do with me being scared. That’s the problem: All these people say he’s got all these rights. Yeah, he’s got rights or whatever, but he shouldn’t walk around proud. It’s like he’s rubbing it in our face. ‘See me, hear me roar.’ We’re not trying to be close-minded, but then again, why be confrontational when you don’t really have to be?”

Next, a side-by-side analysis of two photographs. One is of the man who made the incredibly homophobic remark above; the other is of a man known as “Johnnycakes.” Memo to Todd Jones: don’t rip on homosexuality when you’re sporting a look fresh out of The Village People.

4. As sports fans, we’re trained to detest all sports agents because their job runs directly counter to the best interests of the teams, and in many cases, the players, we all love and root for. But sometimes sports fans have to look at agents and appreciate them for their comedic value and delusional beliefs. Guys like Drew Rosenhaus and Scott Boras are dangerous sharks but every now and then, they give us something to laugh at.

For example, Scott Boras’s recent comments regarding his client Andruw Jones fit into this category. On what planet is Scott Boras operating if he thinks he’ll be able to get a $20M contract for Jones in free agency next winter? Has Boras not noticed that the top contracts for position players over the past few years do not exceed $14M? Jones will be 30 years old next season. Despite averaging 46 HR and 129 RBI the past two seasons, Jones has still only turned in one season with an OPS above .900 and his career OPS+ is 117. I can’t fathom how Boras could possibly justify seeking $20M for a player whose career OPS is .001 lower than Derek Jeter despite having hit 159 more homers.

5. Could Ichiro be positioning himself for a move out of Seattle? I wonder if he’ll explore free agency or if he just wants to go back to Japan? I’d love nothing more than Ichiro ending up in New York as the everyday leftfielder, pushing Matsui to 1B/DH and giving the Yankees an outfield of Ichiro-Damon-Abreu in 2008. Probably wishful thinking...

6. This one is a real head-scratcher. Why would the Red Sox hire former Royals GM Allard Baird as an assistant to Theo Epstein? I can’t think of a single trade Baird made that benefited the Royals during his time as GM and, in two particular cases, got absolutely fleeced. He was a total failure as an executive and, really, never showed a particularly great eye for talent either. Quick, name the last pitching prospect that the Royals developed in Baird’s tenure as GM that won more than eight games. The answer, there haven’t been any. But, hey, if the Red Sox want to add this guy to their front office, who am I to stop them?

On Basketball:

1. I love how David Stern addresses the issue of NBA players having guns as him preferring that they leave their guns at home. He prefers it, the way I prefer mustard to mayonnaise when eating sandwiches or the way I prefer cold weather to heat and humidity. I just think “preference” is a funny way of putting it.

2. The NBA season kicked off last night with the defending champion Miami Heat getting trounced by the Chicago Bulls. Obviously opening night will yield little in the way of viable information on how the season will turn out. But it was great fun watching O’Neal and Riley get humiliated on their home court. Whatever makes them look bad thrills me, verily.

3. I haven’t been this excited for the Knicks since the 2000 season when the Knicks were defending Eastern Conference champions. Sure they’ll probably end up with only 35 wins but, in my mind, that’s progress. What I’m most happy about is the fact that they cut Mo Taylor and Jalen Rose. That tells me that Isiah is committing himself and staking his job to the development of the team’s young players. It’s about damn time the franchise moved in that direction.

On Football:

1. As a Giants fan, I’m sorry that Tiki Barber will be retiring because his production on the field will be sorely missed. But if he’s going to go, I’m glad he’s going out firing his mouth on all cylinders. This is a quote I’ll be storing in my mental rolodex for years to come:

“That includes the ultimate character guy, facetiously speaking of course, Michael Irvin. Please get a clue on how to be a journalist.”

Ouch. I wonder what “Playmaker” thinks about that. I’ve never understood how people continue to laud Irvin and remember him as a great leader while on the Cowboys. How can a guy who spent several off-seasons in court fighting various drug-possession and gun charges ever truly be thought of as a leader? Don’t you need to have at least a baseline level of integrity and character? Maybe I’m wrong...

2. As much as I detest Bill Belichick and the Patriots, I have this gut-wrenching feeling that they’re going back to the Super Bowl. They pissed all over Minnesota’s defense by giving the Vikings a five-wideout look. They play in the worst division in the NFL. They’re tied for the second-best record in their conference. I guess people predicted their demise a bit too early. The NFL sucks for that.

Moon Over...Kansas City?!?!

The Kansas City Chiefs retired Warren Moon's jersey yesterday. Moon, a 2006 Pro Football Hall of Fame inductee, is without question one of the all-time football greats. He completed 3,988 passes for 49,325 yards (4th best in NFL history) and 291 TDs - and that's not even counting his great CFL days with Edmonton. So what's the problem?

He played only 3 games over 2 seasons for the Chiefs before announcing his retirement. In other words, my Chiefs career lasted nearly as long as Moon's did.

Warren Moon deserves accolades and recognition for his phenomenal on-field accomplishments - but not from Kansas City. For the Chiefs to retire Moon's jersey cheapens the honor for those players who truly made a difference for that team.

MMBSD: Conventional Wisdom

Conventional Wisdom is neither conventional nor wisdom. Discuss among yourselves.

MLB
Conventional wisdom had the Detroit Tigers as the Red Wings…an unstoppable force that had mashed its way through the giants of New York and Oakland. Conventional wisdom had the American League as the bully that kicked sand in the face of the National League (not a single win in the World Series in over two years). Conventional Wisdom had the Cardinals limping into the World Series with 83 wins and a long seven game series. How’d things work out pundits? The one piece of conventional wisdom everyone over looked was experience. The Cardinals players had been in competitive playoff series. The Cardinals had the bright lights of the World Series only two years before. The young Detroit players seemed to shrink in the limelight. Eight errors really were the difference between a Cardinals victory and a competitive series. Whenever the Cards needed a play, it was Detroit that would gift wrap, hand deliver a play in the form a sailing throw to first or third. Sorry if your more accurate throwing the ball throwing to the plate than you are to first base you don’t deserve to win. The only place were conventional wisdoms on the importance of experience fell short was for Adam Wainwright. Wainwright handled the big situations with bigger pitches and his performance frankly defied any conventional wisdom, prediction or guesstimate.

College Football
A USC victory in the PAC-10 is pretty standard wisdom. USC went through West Coast teams like Matt Leinart went through girlfriends (pregnancies not withstanding). However the USC loss at lowest of the OSU teams (Beavers) has opened up the BCS championship game. Short of a collapse on par with lets say Rome circa 400, the winner of Ohio State and the team up North (currently 1 and 2 in the BCS by a huge margin) is going to the Championship game. The Big East has the remaining three undefeated teams (from major conferences) with Rutgers, Louisville and West Virginia slated to play a round robin tournament alongside the original Mustache (Dave Wannstedt’s University of Pittsburgh). If Louisville or West Virginia makes it through untouched (Rutgers is too far back) then they will play in the championship game too. Assuming both fall that leaves a bunch of other teams. Given how USC has played getting through Oregon, Cal, Notre Dame and UCLA without another loss seems like a tough bid which would eliminate Peter Carroll. That Fat Fuck (TFF) known as Charlie Weis can complain all he wants but he’s not leap frogging into the championship game. That leaves the loser of the Big 10 battle and the SEC champion as the other champion contender. Florida has the easiest road to the SEC Championship while Auburn requires an Arkansas loss (with Arkansas at South Carolina, Tennessee and LSU remaining) to even get the SEC Championship. So in conclusion TFF and Boise State (the blue ball bandits on the blue turf) will hold two of the 10 BCS game slots but the rest are very much up in the air and well don’t even try to with BCS championship game.

NBA
Of all the conventional wisdom’s I’ve mentioned the one that probably is true is that the NBA runs on star power. David Stern warms his dark heart with the fires of Lebron, Wade, Dirk Kobes, etc megawattage. The refs give stars special protection and in turn the stars are the ones that win playoff series. A dark thought tickles the back of my mind, though. Basketball players, no matter how in shape, are not built for year round competition and nearly all of the best and brightest stars (or at least most likeable) played in the World Basketball Championships over the summer. What if those stars go down injured or at minimum don’t have the seasons that their respective teams need? Any prediction about the NBA season goes out the window if Dirk and Wade go down injured. I’m pretty sure David Stern is praying to Odin (I’m pretty sure he follows Norse mythology) that that scenario doesn’t come to pass.

NFL
On a random note, I have to tip my sombrero to Chad Johnson. While TO’s antics are tiresome and blatantly selfish, Chad entertains as few NFL players do. Johnson, repeatedly referred to himself as “Ocho-Cinco” during the week in honor of the NFL’s Spainish month (for our non-Spanish speaking readers literally 8-5 or his jersey number). During pre-game Johnson had “Ocho-Cinco” on his jersey before Carson Palmer ripped off the back to reveal his true identity. While I’m sure the NFL will step in to keep the fans from entertained in the meantime, keep up the work, Chad.

Monday Thoughts… (Sunday Night)… Toilet Bowl Addition

I’m reporting live from Columbus watching Mighty live and die (mainly die) watching the Cleveland Steamers. This is a small glimpse into the pain that Cleveland fans feel each weekend (See Hans Moleman in the Morning Simpson’s Radio Show). I find the experience odd… like Bob Evans without pork. For example, he watched the 1st half but now (in the 4th), it’s close and he changes the channel. I’m confused.

The toilet bowl addition is monument to a successful weekend here in Columbus meaning Mighty’s liver underwent punishment including: my fists, the bar, 330pm OSU game, and Sunday football.

Onto my thoughts…

BCS and the Countdown to the November 18th National Championship Game:
The amazing Beavers defeated the USC Trojans (I’m a Durex man myself) knocking them into the Roman forum style orgy that are the one loss teams. Mighty will conclude statistical combinations and permutations but the road to the BCS championship goes into Morgantown, WV. Can they defeat Louisville and Rutgers? Florida gets my shocker for the best of the one-loss teams assuming they survive Auburn. Maybe a Jan game between Michigan/OSU losing team vs. Florida?

For part 10 of why I hate ND and enjoy watching them suffer, the USC loss means ND stays out of the top 8. I still hope USC knocks them into the two-loss club. Each loss by Michigan State means the ND win mean less and less. Is next week the game versus the Coast Guard Academy?

I should have gone to a state school. At the bar this weekend, I saw Pippy Long stockings… the state school legs addition. Enough said. I also witnessed the best stomach since New York City.

The Cardinals:
Congrats. My last thought on the baseball season = parody. The Cardinals World Series victory means a new World Series champion each year since the end of the Yankees dynasty in 2000. A team must spend money, but money is necessary but not sufficient to win the World Series.

NFC teams???
The Chargers are routing the Rams, Cobra Commander put a hurt on New Orleans, and Jax manhandled the Eagles (they look worse each week). Atlanta was the lone bright spot in the NFC vs. AFC winning in Cincy. Tonight the AFC addition continues when New England looks to stay on track nailing the Vikings.

Jon Stewart:
We also hit up Jon Stewart here in Columbus. Next week he will tape live from Ohio with guests such as King James. Enjoy it. We enjoyed his humor even with The Ohio State administration (Government) minder. She “moderated” meaning she attempted to control his humor. She failed. A student yelled, “You suck! Get off the stage.”

NBA Preview 2006-2007– One More Running of the Spurs

After being one of the few people to keep track of the NBA Europe exhibition, I feel like I’m ready to start watching some meaningful basketball games! Quick note: I was originally going to have Phoenix over Miami as my NBA finals pick, but Sports Illustrated came out last week with that exact pick. I don’t want to be completely jinxed before the season begins, so I had to change things a bit. Here are my list of contenders (in a random order): New Jersey, Miami, San Antonio, Dallas, and the entire Central Division. Every team in the Central Division has the horses and the depth to make a title run, the main problem is surviving the regular season.

Editor’s Note: The new playoff seeding allows the 3 division winners and the next best team to be seeded based on record. Example: This means that Dallas and San Antonio can grab the top 2 seeds out West. The “number” next to each team represents their playoff seeding.

Eastern Conference
Atlantic – Another crappy year
4-New Jersey – Another year in the crappy division, only this time, it yields them a 4-seed.
Toronto - Their new GM Colangelo, former GM of the Suns, was the architect of the Suns’ fast-paced style, based on speed, shooting, and excellent point guards who can analyze all of the off-ball movement. Colangelo is intent on bringing the same system to Toronto, and I thought he changed over half the team. I was wrong, he dumped 9 players, and got 9 new ones! The Raptors should be an interesting team to watch, but its obviously a complete unknown how quickly everyone will mesh. They certainly have talent with Bosh, TJ Ford, #1 pick Bargiani, backup PG Calderon, Joey Graham from Oklahoma state, and highly regarded newcomers, Euroleaguer Anthony Parker (played at Bradley, 2-time reigning Euroleague MVP) and fellow Euroleaguer Spaniard Jorge Garbajosa. I haven’t seen the 2 Euro pick-ups or the #1 pick, but I’m certainly intrigued to see how this experiment works. It could be a monumental failure, or they could be a big surprise.
Philly – they still have Allen Iverson, and I really like Andre Iguodala. I just don’t see them pushing through to the playoffs. Also, Kevin Ollie is their starting PG, according to NBA.com. Wow, now that’s bad! For those who don’t know, Kevin Ollie has a porn moustache, and makes 4 turnovers per game.
New York – I don’t expect the Knicks, coached by Isiah Thomas to do particularly well, just slightly better than Boston. I’m expecting this year to be a “farewell” tour for Isiah, who I’m assuming, will never be allowed near a professional basketball team again. Also, I must say, what is the deal with Isiah Thomas actually reading and watching the media and then criticizing the media for criticizing Isiah??? Last year, it was Bill Simmons, this year, it was Greg Anthony. If only Isiah understood that: 1) the media’s job is to criticize ; 2) a GM/coach’s job is to not pay attention to them because you increase the risk having more criticism; 3) Isiah Thomas is the laughing stock of the league.
Boston – I just don’t trust the PGs, Telfair and Rondo (rookie from Kentucky). Danny Ainge has given enough grief to Bill Simmons, though Bill Simmons even admits he’s always optimistic, and even has vowed to kill Geogre Lopez for choosing Rajon Rondo in the NBA Celebrity Fantasy league.

Central – Everyone is capable of making the playoffs
2-Cleveland – I’ve gone back and forth a million times on this. But, I see the Cavs taking the 2-spot based on the ever-improving defense of Lebron, and the fact that the Pistons are not as good as last year. Side note: the Cavs were 13-2 last year when Varejao played more than 20 minutes. Granted, he tends to foul out, so if he can work on that, the Cavs should be able to take the division.
3-Detroit – They lost Ben Wallace, which, as I said during the summer, “I believe this hurts their team a lot more than it helps Chicago. Especially since Flip Saunders was coaching last season, player rotations were key to their 60+ win season last year. Granted, Detroit did just sign Nazr Mohammed, who is certainly a good defensive center, but I’m not sure if he’s quick enough to allow the Pistons to use the same defensive schemes as last season.” http://thedawggs.blogspot.com/2006/07/nba-movers-shakers.html However, it’s been announced that Coach Flip Saunders is changing the offense and defense because Ben Wallace is not there, and suppposedly, is installing something similar to what they had in Minnesota (at least offensively). Should be interesting, but I just don’t see another 60-win season.
5-Chicago – The Hitman might get angry about this lower-than-expected seeding, but the Eastern Conference has a lot more depth this year. Anyways, the 5-spot could be very desirable, with a playoff date against New Jersey.
7-Milwaukee – Another really great team. They ditched TJ Ford in favor of their backup PG Mo Williams (he’s also pretty fast), and acquired Charlie Villaneuva. This is an extremely talented team, but their coach last season wasn’t that smart, and I’m expecting him to once again not get as much out of this team as he should.
Indiana – I can’t believe I don’t have Indiana in the playoffs. They added Al Harrington for essentially nothing, and got promising F Shawne Williams from Memphis in the draft. Their PG position is problematic though, and I’m expecting them to be using Marquis Daniels as the starter at some point. In addition, according to nba.com, the Pacers are switching to a “fast-break offense” which is another good move (as it seems like that’s the trend right now). It’s just really difficult for me to see them make the playoffs over any of the other teams, assuming that this really is the year of Darko’s Revenge.

Southeast – Don’t mess with the Twin Towers of a new generation
1-Miami – yes they are good, yes, I never should have doubted Wade.
6-Washington – Another year, another valuable player lost by the Wizards. This time, Jared Jeffries has left (gone to New York). Jeffries was an impressive defensive force who could play 4 different positions. The Wizards got Deshawn Stevenson and Darius Songalia, but its hard for me to see that pushing them into the elite status.
8-Orlando - I really like Darko’s progress in the 2nd half of last season. I’m expecting Orlando to make the leap to the playoffs because of 1) the relative weakness of the rest of the centers in the league, meaning Darko should excel, 2) given that Orlando also has Dwight Howard, which creates an amazing “Twin Tower” scenario, and 3) they finished last season red-hot once they got Darko, and I don’t see why the momentum can’t carry over to tis year.
Atlanta – this year, they will have Speedy Claxton at the point, and Marvin Williams playing more minutes. At some point they have to improve, right? It’s just always next year.
Charlotte – they added the Moustache, Adam Morrison. I still don’t see them competing for a playoff spot, though they have assembled a nice college all-star roster (Okafor, May, Felton, Morrison).

Western Conference
Northwest – somebody has to win this division
4-Minnesota – Every team in this division is flawed in some way. So, I’m going out on a limb and expecting Minnesota to take the division because 1) No one messes with KG, 2) KG will break your legs if you don’t listen to him, 3) Minnesota picked up PG Mike James and super-rookie Randy ‘Nova Foye (I’m putting the ‘Nova in there because I keep mixing him up with Roy from UWashington).
Denver- They somehow got JR Smith, the troubled shooting guard who was a “throw-in” in the Tyson Chandler trade (the Bulls waited only 6 days to ship JR Smith out for two 2nd-round picks http://sports.yahoo.com/nba/news?slug=nuggetsmoves&prov=st&type=lgns). Now, JR Smith is supposed to start in Denver. Honestly, Denver has a very volatile situation, what with Kenyon Martin being a complete waste of money (and the 1st round picks they gave up to get him). George Karl has had a pretty rough ride with these guys for the last year, and I don’t know if it will get much better.
Utah- This could be a better team, but I didn’t like Deron Williams (Illinois) last year as the PG, and I can’t expect much more from him this year.
Seattle- Another year, another chance for mediocrity.
Portland- Many changes. Just for fun, I looked up their starting 5: PG-Jarrett Jack, SG-Brandon UW Roy, C-Magloire, SF-?, PF-Z. Randolph. I'm not sure what else to say about them, so here’s a Naked Gun quote:
Frank: Well, when I see five weirdos dressed in togas, stabbing a man in the middle of the park in front of a full view of 100 people, I shoot the bastards, that's my policy.
Mayor: That was a Shakesphere In The Park Production of Julius Caesar, you moron! You killed five actors! Good ones!

Southwest – Division of Doom!
2-Dallas- They came so close to pulling it off. I’m curious whether this will make them hungrier than ever. The only problem once again, is that their division is just brutal, where every team could make the playoffs.
3-San Antonio- I’m very tempted to say that the Spurs looked old, the torch has passed, etc., etc., however, they still were the top team in the West last year, and almost took Dallas out in the 2nd round. I find it would only be bittersweet irony for them to have to play in the 2nd round AGAIN this year, despite the rule change on playoff seeding!
6-Houston- If they only stay healthy, they should be able to make the playoffs. Interesting note, the Rockets acquired one of the Greeks that beat the US in the world championships, as well as the combustible Bonzi Wells.
8-NO/Okl. City- Chris Paul, Stojakovic, and D. West should be able to power the Hornets to the playoffs, just 2 years removed from an utter debacle.
Memphis- I feel bad not including the Grizzlies in the playoffs. I still fully support their move to actually gamble a bit, as they picked up Rudy Gay in the draft for the price of Shane Battier. It just won’t pay off this year, especially w/ Pau Gasol missing the first few months.

Pacific – Could be a very competitive division, if it weren’t for Don Nelson
1-Phoenix- Even if Stoudemire only plays half the season, that should be enough to pick up the #1 spot. On a side note, Shawn Marion claims he is “the Matrix” and that Trix are for kids. http://www.nba.com/europelive/marion_060930.html I think if I were in the NBA, I’d call myself “the Gadget” and I’d yell out during the game “Go-go gadget defense!”
5-Sacramento- I fully believe that Ron Artest is going to have an All-star year. It remains to be seen whether anyone else would vote him into the game, but once he got traded to the Kings, he started playing like the ‘baller I used to remember (pre-Brawl).
7-Lakers- Kobe can always take the Lakers to the playoffs, but I don’t believe that adding Radmonivic is enough to take them very far.
Clippers- Cassell tends to have a great first year, and then become suddenly unhappy. In addition, the Clippers are the sucker team that paid for Tim Thomas, who literally played hard for only the playoffs and part of the regular season to get a large contract. Last year, he was so lazy that the Bulls didn’t even play him! Luckily for the Clippers, PG Shaun Livingston can fill in for Cassell when Cassell goes crazy.
Golden State – The return of retired Don Nelson! I still can’t believe he wants to coach again. He’s out of his mind, but you really have to blame the guy who hired him, GM Chris Mullin.

Playoffs – 1st round

1-Miami over 8-Orlando – I was hoping to set up a “Revenge of Darko” contest between the Pistons and the Magic. But the numbers just don’t work.
5-Chicago over 4-New Jersey – Captain Kirk Hinrich finally gets his first playoff series victory. I didn’t come up with that name, I saw it on ESPN.
3-Detroit over 6-Washington – I want to pick Washington, but I think the Pistons can still make the 2nd round, even with the limited depth that they have.
2-Cleveland over 7-Milwaukee – This will be a hard-fought series. Trying to stop the frontcourt of Villaneuva and Bogut, plus the shooting of Redd can be dangerous. I believe in Lebron though.

1 – Phoenix over 8-NO/Ok City – no chance for the Hornets.
5- Sacramento over 4- Minnesota – Ron Artest! Ron Artest!
2-Dallas over 7-Lakers – should be a great series.
3- San Antonio over 6-Houston – another great series.

2nd round
1-Miami over 5-Chicago – Many people forget, but the Bulls actually took Miami to 6 games last year. This year should be another hard fought Miami victory, so long as Wade stays healthy.
2-Cleveland over 3-Detroit – Yes, this could be considered the passing of the torch, the coming of Lebron, etc. More likely, it will be considered the end of the Pistons.

1-Phoenix over 5-Sacramento – The Ron Artest show comes to a screeching halt.
3-San Antonio over 2-Dallas – Tim Duncan rested most of the summer, and if Duncan’s back on top of his game, there’s no reason why Ginobilli, Parker, and Duncan can’t find a way to make one more run.

Conf. Finals
1-Miami over 2-Cleveland – I can’t stop going back and forth about this. It’s tough for me to envision my own Cavs making the Finals, especially considering the team isn’t that much improved over last year. I still don’t exactly trust the Miami supporting cast, and this would mean that they still are hungry and contributing. ESPN will be touting this series all day every day (Wade vs. Lebron).
3-San Antonio over 1-Phoenix – If Amare Stoudemire actually is healthy all season, this outcome may not happen. Like I said though, I think the Spurs can muster one more run (I hope).

NBA Finals
3-San Antonio over 1-Miami – As long as Duncan is healthy and Ginobilli somewhat stays on Wade, San Antonio is going to take home another championship! I'm also expecting Antoine Walker to put on a performance like John Starks in Game 7 of the 1994 NBA Finals.

All-Gutsy Team
PF- D. Howard, Orlando
SF- James, Cleveland
C- Yao, Houston
SG- Wade, Miami
PG- C. Paul, NO/Ok. City Hornets

Congrats Cards!

Saint Louis has a World Champion again. While one of the more improbable of evantual winners (83 wins in regular season) , it counts just the same. Congrats Cards on bringing home #10......

Update from the Periphery

As Co-editor, I just wanted to update on a few happenings here at BSD

1. Gutsy will shortly be releasing his super action packed NBA Preview. A few updates are needed as Sports Illustrated broke in and stole a number of his ideas.

2. Stay tuned for MJ's angry rant of the day and Colonel's Tips on Crushing the Rebellion.

3. Finally and most importantly a super happy congratulations to our international reporter....Mark A. (pictured below). For those that don't remember, Mark helped bring us World Cup Coverage. Right now he is in India trying to uncover exactly what is cricket as well as which spicy foods one should not eat in India. While there Mark got engaged to a very wonderful woman. Congrats Mark! Although marriage does not get you out of your contract of covering international sports.

Colonel Sanders Finger Lickin' Picks For All Degenerate Gamblers Out There - Week 8

A special snow day edition of the finger lickin picks. When it snows outside (we got about 7 inches in the Denver metro area, with about a foot and a half in the mountains), all good gamblers just stay at home and mull over the stats and lines. All I wish is that I could have an AT-AT at my disposal with Snowtroopers making lanes in the roads. I guess I could just put a turret on the top of my truck instead of a ski rack.



Ok onto the picks:

ARI (+3.5) at GB: GB, If a team can not even beat the Raiders they deserve to be replaced by the Buckeyes of THE Ohio State University or the Wolverines of Michigan

ATL (+4.5) at CIN: CIN, ARGH...Boo No!! Gotta go with hometown love for CJ and the boys. I am sure they will disappoint but always go with the home team in case of a tie.

BAL (+2) at NO: NO, I hate the Ravens and because of the fact that those in the DC metro area don't have the ticket I will bet against them throughout the year

HOU (+3) at TENN: HOU, I have gone with Houston the past couple of weeks. They pulled out an upset last week, gotta do it again. David Carr isn't as bad as people make him out to be

JAC (+6) at PHI: PHI If you can beat the Texans, you can't beat the Jake and the Fat Man (if McNabb's name was Jake)

SEA (+7) at KC: KC, yeah there is no such thing as the Madden Curse or the loser of the Super Bowl Curse...you latte drinking, grunge rock loving liberals keep telling yourself that

SF (+16) at CHI: CHI, can the Bears ever play anybody good...have them come up the field of mile high and see how they do.

TB (+9.5) at NYG: TB, Something tell me this will be below a TD win for the G-men. They blew out Drew Bledsoe, they wont be able to blow out a man from the MAC.

STL (+8.5) at SD: STL, Although this goes against my notion that SD covers every week, I see this as being a somewhat close game

INDY (+3) at DEN: DEN, Denver hasn't lost at Invesco since it has been Mile High (or at least it feels like that). Unfortunately the snow storm of today didn't come a couple of days from now. I would have liked to see Peyton Manning turn into Craig Krenzel with a drop of snow hits his helmet.

NYJ (+1) at CLE: NYJ, Sorry Clevelanders, the Browns still blow...when do the Cavs start to play?

PITT (-9) at OAK: PITT, yeah the Raiders scored on Cardinals, not going to happen against the Steelers

DAL (+5) at CAR: CAR, Tony Romo is not the answer to the problem in Dallas...getting rid of Jerry Jones, Bill Parcells and all of the stupid star players is

NE (-2.5) at MINN: MINN, I think Minnesota is alot better than some people


Last Week: 7-5-1
Total: 54-36-10

Cheers and Jeers: Scarlet Fever

Ingredients:

• 12-14 oz Absolut Vodka
• 12-14 oz White rum
• 6-8 oz dry Gin (London's)
• 6 oz Cranberry juice

For those that are unaware the Great Publius, master of rhetoric, debater, thespian, albeit probably not of his domain is visiting Cheers and Jeers in Scarlet and Grey territory. This can only result in one thing, permanent and irrecoverable damage to my liver. Actually at the pace Ben Roethlisberger is on for injuries I fully expect him to be listed next week with a case of hemorrhagic fever and liver failure due to dengue. Anyway it should be good fun having him around so a big cheer for his arrival and a big jeer for the problems he will cause here.

Cheers: To the Cowbitches current infighting. Perhaps it’s a bit of schadenfreude but did anyone bring on more internal problem on their organization than Jerry Jones? When you are repeatedly undermining a coach publicly, whether it's excusing away Owens behavior or second guessing a coach's decision on a quarterback controversy, you are just asking for problems. Many in the pundacracy (is there a better word for the class of pundits that shower us with there conventional wisdoms?) are already jumping ship (well maybe not Pete King but after Danny Wuerfuel does the man have creditability on QBs?) and you know what they have good reason.

Jeers: To rain. Game 4 was rained out as baseball takes a mulligan. There is a huge difference between the Cards being up 3-1 and the series tied at 2-2 so Game 4 is big. As I am not a professional pitcher or belly-itcher I really can't comment on how a delay affects the game but given the quality of arms out there I will be shocked if there are a lot of earned runs to be had.

Jeers: To the end of "The World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party" Georgia and Florida have put on their no fun suits and joined together to end the term that has been used to describe one of the best college football rivalries around. Between the schools heavy hand and the media's acquiescence (wow do tv networks jump at the wishes of organized sports these days) you probably won't hear the term used on tv to describe Georgia v. Florida. Which is a shame because while the schools might put on a Potemkin Village for TV viewers, I assure you they won't be white washing the actual partying.

Jeers: To bad political campaigning. As a student of politics, history and Kabuki theater I expect things to get ugly the final 2 weeks before an election however I really am torn as to which I find more offensive the Tennessee ads that are subtly and not so subtly racist (Congo drums playing whenever Tennessee Senate hopeful Harold Ford's name is mentioned. I mean that tops Macaca any day) or Rush Limbaughs attack on Parkinson sufferer and stem cell advocate Michael J Fox . Hmm it’s a toughie.

Jeers: To blogger. I was hoping to get Cheers and Jeers posted but blogger is being well bloggy. Google better get its act together and fast because the increased traffic come Election Day is going to shut everything down. Wait its back up. Yeah!

Cheers: The Sandwich has just received a video from Berea (Cleveland Browns headquarters) and has given the approval for its publishing. As you can tell from the video Romeo Crennel explains that matters are well in hand and for fans to remain calm. (Note the video has a brief moment at the 28th second that is not suitable for Work (NSW))

Week 8 - The Week of Scarlett

Manwich Matchup of the Week
Indianapolis at Denver- Easy choice for Manwich this week. Undefeated team against a team that’s given up 3 touchdowns all season. Granted, Denver hasn’t played anything even close to the Indy offense (they played St. Louis, KC, New England, Balt, Oak, Clev). I’m guessing the floodgates will open this weekend, and Denver will face turmoil for the first time in a while. Pick: Indy

Upset of the Week
Atlanta at Cincinnati – I’m so baffled as to both these teams. I still don’t know how Cincy’s makeshift o-line survived last week. The line for this game is 3.5 points, and I’m going to just roll with that as an “upset.” Pick: Atlanta

Arizona at Green Bay – Do you think they would just play Aaron Rodgers against Matt Leinart for the more interesting matchup? Pick: Green Bay

Baltimore at New Orleans – America’s team had a week off to prepare for the Cobras. The Cobras also took a bye week to prepare, and instead of working on the gameplan, Cobra Commander cleaned and waxed his visor every single day. Pick: New Orleans

Houston at Tennessee- These teams are both red-hot! Houston stomped all over Jacksonville, and Tennessee beat down Washington in their last game. I’ll go w/ the home team. Pick: Tennessee

Jacksonville at Philadelphia- I don’t know why the Jags have hit the wall, and can’t stop anyone or anything anymore. All I know is, Philly better be motivated after yet another improbable loss. Pick: Philly

Seattle at Kansas City- wow. I almost feel partially responsible for the Seahawks most recent twist of fate. After claiming they wouldn’t make the playoffs because of the 1) Madden curse (Alexander), 2) the Super Bowl curse, the 3) Chunky soup curse (Hasselbeck), I realized last week they still have a really easy schedule, so I conceded they would make the playoffs. However, I obviously underestimated the power of all the curses, when COMBINED. Together, the curses are stronger than Voltron. Pick: Kansas City

San Francisco at Chicago- I’m guessing Rex Grossman will be okay now, because enough time has passed from the 6-turnover game. Pick: Chicago

Tampa Bay at N.Y. Giants- Don’t ever doubt a MAC QB. This decade, any MAC QB that takes the reigns ends up going to the playoffs. I’m hoping to jinx the Browns into the playoffs by this statement. Pick: Giants

St. Louis at San Diego- Not sure what to expect from this game. Pick: San Diego

N.Y. Jets at Cleveland –Mangina’s due for a period. Pick: Cleveland

Pittsburgh at Oakland- Now that Oakland got a victory, they will certainly be satisfied, tired, groggy, and drunk from celebration. Pick: Pittsburgh

Dallas at Carolina- Tony Romo-cop finally takes over. Too bad the Cowboys are a bit behind and have to deal with the carniverous CAR D-line. Pick: CAR

NE @ Minnesota- Another intriguing game… and on Monday night no less. I think New England should be able to take care of business. Pick: NE

Last Week: 4-9 (yowsers! Not a misprint)
Season: 60-40
Manwich: 5-3 (CAR could not stop the Bengals)
Upset of the Week: 1-6 (I picked the Brownies, and I knew it wasn’t too smart)

We Did It!

Thanks to your efforts and in no small part...mine.....The Browns fired Maurice Carthon late last night.

Waking up to that news frankly can only be topped by waking up next to Scarlett Johansson. Hmm thats a good idea. If I can help get Mo Carthon fired, my next campaign should obviously be targetted at waking up to next to Scarlett. She would love my dark persona and would warm up to my hard luck story of being raised on the mean streets of Buenos Aires. At least thats what the pink elephant told me.....

Monday Thoughts...

Did Kenny Rodgers cheat? I don’t think so. First, it’s amazing the scrutiny players face today and the power of the camera. We all remember Major League!!!

Eddie Harris: Of course if the umps are watching me real close I'll rub a little jalapeño up my nose, get it runnin', and if I need to load the ball up I just... wipe my nose.
Rick Vaughn: You put snot on the ball?
Eddie Harris: I haven't got an arm like you, kid. I have to put anything on it I can find. Someday you will too.

In all seriousness, Kenny Rodgers pitched a gem with or without that stuff on his hand. The Cards looked baffled (except Rolen) all night.

The Series goes back to STL 1-1. Quite an accomplishment for the Cardinals… since they now send their 2 best pitchers against the Tigers. The Cards pitching staff is clearly inferior to the Tigers so they need their 2-5 hitters to produce runs. Let’s face it, Weaver pitched a fine game but the bats need to support him. The pitching staff has pitched good enough to give the bats a chance to make this a real series.

What’s going in the NFL?

The Eagles lost on a 62 yard FG!?!?!?! A 62 yarder? He might as well have toe kicked ala Jack Dempsey. The Chargers lost on a 53 yard FG, the Raiders won a game, the Texans totally bagged the Jaguars, and the Seahawks took a major blow losing their QB. What does this all mean?

The Vikings have solidified the 2nd spot behind Da Bears and could sneak into a wild card spot. The Rams have a tough upcoming schedule but could leapfrog the Seahawks. The Eagles are still in charge of the NFC East. Their 3 loses (collapse vs. the GMen, 62 yard FG, and last second FG in New Orleans) are all tough luck loses. They will recover.

The BCS vaulted Michigan above USC.
FINALLY!!

The National Championship game is on November 18th.

Unfortunately, UCLA forgot how to cover receivers and forgot how to tackle allowing ND an escape on Saturday. I’m reduced to cheering for USC to eliminate ND from the BCS. This is very sad. I also am cheering for Cal to knock USC out of the unbeaten ranks so the BCS championship game = rematch of Nov 18th.

MMBSD: Airing of Grievances

According to Gutsy this is the week of Festivus so what better way to celebrate than my airing of Grievances. Maybe it's because I watched the Cleveland Browns offense sink to level of existence below Dante's inferno. Maybe it's because my television experience here in the state of Ohio is currently filled with enough political ads to make you bleed from the ears (For the record re: that new Chevy ad with John Cougar Mellencamp; I can't decide if it's racist, jingoistic or racist and jingoistic. For those that haven't seen it, suffice to say I would be offended if it was just Katrina photos helping sell cars but then I heard that the final version of the ad didn't feature a picture of the atomic bomb over Nagasaki as originally planned - after that bit of information I realized the person that created the ad and the team of people who green lighted it must just be completely insane). Anyway I have lots of problems with the sports world so here are some of them:

NFL OT: After tuning in to the waning moments of the Falcons OT victory over Pittsburgh I was struck by a few thoughts: 1) When does Roethlisberger not seem like he's suffering from a concussion? 2) Wait, Michael Vick is a quarterback you say? 3) The NFL OT rules just seem anti-climatic. 40% of the time the team with the ball scores every time. Wait, that doesn't make sense....The point, is that a winner of a coin flip is vastly more likely to win in OT. The NFL needs to adopt some sort of rule that necessitates both teams possessing the ball on offense. That or instead of a coin flip have a rock, paper, scissors contest.

Paging Offensive Lines: It has recently been documented that there has been a rash of offensive lines in fluctuation. The toll of injuries and free agency has left a position that needs good teamwork at the mercy of defenses that are instituting exotic packages. Quarterbacks this season have been on their back more than Lyndsey Lohan (albeit in the QB case this means lower amounts of scoring). Something needs to be done. Without scoring I get bored and then I write these airing of grievances. Maybe make it easier for teams to retain their offensive linemen in free agency thereby increasing the likelihood of continuity. Maybe allow for exceptions in terms of number of offensive lineman a team can have on their roster. Or at minimum give them all air bags to protect themselves from collisions.

Note Dame Escapes (Again): Another improbable comeback for Notre Dame. They marched 80 yards in 4.6 seconds (which rounded up is 30 seconds) to defeat UCLA. Yes, I'm a registered Notre Dame basher but yet another escape by Charlie Weis' squad frankly reminds me of a David Blaine routine. It's pretty impressive but no human should be in that position in the first place (also I find it extremely annoying). Coming from behind against UCLA (and earlier Michigan State) isn't the calling card of a quality team. Luckily voters or computers weren't fooled as Notre Dame dropped a spot in the AP and BCS polls.

Kenny Rogers - I'm watching Kenny Rogers toss another gem tonight and it bothers me. This is Kenny "Anger Management" Rogers. Am I the only one that remembered that this guy attacked a reporter, a camera, possibly a puppy and may have taken campaign contribution from Jack Abramoff? How is it possible he is doing well now? Are the forces of Karma suspended for this guy? Is Karma saving it all up and Rogers will accidentally end up stranded on a deserted island with the only thing to do is watch episodes of Lost? In the mean time as Wubya would say "this is unacceptable." Of course Wubya's full quote was:

For every fatal shooting, there were roughly three non-fatal shootings. And, folks, this is unacceptable in America. It's just unacceptable. And we're going to do something about it."

Maybe that's what Karma has in store for Rogers...

Random Thoughts from behind the soon to be flaming barricades in Columbus
Apparently the NFL has a steroid policy that works. Why do players think that it doesn't? It's a little perplexing. Dennis Green, if you weren't a part of the Cardinals organization, you would have officially entered the Dead Men Walking Club (aka Coaches to be fired at the end of the season) with an implosion followed by a loss to Oakland. However a few more losses and you'll be in the club. This is the first week that Indianapolis seemed to be a possible Super Bowl team. The acquisition of Anthony Mcfarland or infusion of radioactive Spider bites helped with the run defense…so did a 20 point 3rd quarter. After viewing Denver's offense up close it stinks even more than I thought it did. When did Denver morph into Baltimore (outstanding defense, awful awful offense)?