Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Confessions Of A Lapsed Columnist

Forgive me Sandwich, for I have sinned. It has been 11 days since my last rant. Much of what I am about to discuss is technically old news although, in my own self-centered universe, things don’t happen until I’ve commented on them. Here are the things floating around in the margins of my mind. I hope that The Sandwich doesn’t impose too severe a penance upon me for my absence from this Holy Blog.

On Baseball:

1. Although the World Series ended nearly a week ago, most will remember it as being marred by poor play and even poorer weather. Inclement weather is something that happens and, as much as any other factor, is part of the game. So when I saw this, I immediately viewed it as about as bad an idea as I’ve ever read. Are people actually suggesting a neutral site for the World Series? Has everyone gone mad? That’s a total junk nonsense idea and logistically impossible, to boot.

2. I am a diehard Yankee fan so uttering this in public may get me excommunicated from Yankeedom but I have to say that I think Derek Jeter’s doing a terrible job as captain. Frankly, I don’t even see the need for captains in baseball. There is no true leadership required in baseball since, unlike basketball and hockey, it is a completely reactive sport (hitters react to pitchers and fielders react to hitters). What’s a rah-rah speech going to do when a team can’t hit a pitcher with a 95 mph fastball and a nasty slider? How will a “do as I do” guy help other pitchers throw strikes?

But I digress. Although I am now of the opinion that Alex Rodriguez should be traded for a package of pitching and youth, I think Jeter could done far more to get the pressure off his beleaguered teammate. A guy as media-savvy and intelligent as Jeter, with as much capital as he has earned with the local and national press, could’ve easily hissed a few words of support (even if he didn’t mean them) and ended the story. By remaining silent, Jeter seems to have consciously sabotaged ARod’s footing in New York. Not that ARod is blameless by any stretch; but it seems to me as though this year’s winner of the Hank Aaron Award, a guy that might end up winning the AL MVP, could have been a better teammate and captain.

One more thing on the topic – guys like Jeter make for terrible captains anyway. Michael Jordan shared his captaincy with Bill Cartwright specifically because guys like Jeter and Jordan, guys who have the mental toughness to block out anything unrelated to the task at hand, simply can’t relate to the more sensitive guys on their teams. The Yankees went seven seasons without an official captain and probably should’ve considered naming Posada as Jeter’s co-captain. You need a man of the people, not a demi-God who is unapproachable.

3. First, a direct quote from the mouth of Detroit Tigers closer Todd Jones:

“I wouldn’t want a gay guy being around me,” Jones told the paper. “It’s got nothing to do with me being scared. That’s the problem: All these people say he’s got all these rights. Yeah, he’s got rights or whatever, but he shouldn’t walk around proud. It’s like he’s rubbing it in our face. ‘See me, hear me roar.’ We’re not trying to be close-minded, but then again, why be confrontational when you don’t really have to be?”

Next, a side-by-side analysis of two photographs. One is of the man who made the incredibly homophobic remark above; the other is of a man known as “Johnnycakes.” Memo to Todd Jones: don’t rip on homosexuality when you’re sporting a look fresh out of The Village People.

4. As sports fans, we’re trained to detest all sports agents because their job runs directly counter to the best interests of the teams, and in many cases, the players, we all love and root for. But sometimes sports fans have to look at agents and appreciate them for their comedic value and delusional beliefs. Guys like Drew Rosenhaus and Scott Boras are dangerous sharks but every now and then, they give us something to laugh at.

For example, Scott Boras’s recent comments regarding his client Andruw Jones fit into this category. On what planet is Scott Boras operating if he thinks he’ll be able to get a $20M contract for Jones in free agency next winter? Has Boras not noticed that the top contracts for position players over the past few years do not exceed $14M? Jones will be 30 years old next season. Despite averaging 46 HR and 129 RBI the past two seasons, Jones has still only turned in one season with an OPS above .900 and his career OPS+ is 117. I can’t fathom how Boras could possibly justify seeking $20M for a player whose career OPS is .001 lower than Derek Jeter despite having hit 159 more homers.

5. Could Ichiro be positioning himself for a move out of Seattle? I wonder if he’ll explore free agency or if he just wants to go back to Japan? I’d love nothing more than Ichiro ending up in New York as the everyday leftfielder, pushing Matsui to 1B/DH and giving the Yankees an outfield of Ichiro-Damon-Abreu in 2008. Probably wishful thinking...

6. This one is a real head-scratcher. Why would the Red Sox hire former Royals GM Allard Baird as an assistant to Theo Epstein? I can’t think of a single trade Baird made that benefited the Royals during his time as GM and, in two particular cases, got absolutely fleeced. He was a total failure as an executive and, really, never showed a particularly great eye for talent either. Quick, name the last pitching prospect that the Royals developed in Baird’s tenure as GM that won more than eight games. The answer, there haven’t been any. But, hey, if the Red Sox want to add this guy to their front office, who am I to stop them?

On Basketball:

1. I love how David Stern addresses the issue of NBA players having guns as him preferring that they leave their guns at home. He prefers it, the way I prefer mustard to mayonnaise when eating sandwiches or the way I prefer cold weather to heat and humidity. I just think “preference” is a funny way of putting it.

2. The NBA season kicked off last night with the defending champion Miami Heat getting trounced by the Chicago Bulls. Obviously opening night will yield little in the way of viable information on how the season will turn out. But it was great fun watching O’Neal and Riley get humiliated on their home court. Whatever makes them look bad thrills me, verily.

3. I haven’t been this excited for the Knicks since the 2000 season when the Knicks were defending Eastern Conference champions. Sure they’ll probably end up with only 35 wins but, in my mind, that’s progress. What I’m most happy about is the fact that they cut Mo Taylor and Jalen Rose. That tells me that Isiah is committing himself and staking his job to the development of the team’s young players. It’s about damn time the franchise moved in that direction.

On Football:

1. As a Giants fan, I’m sorry that Tiki Barber will be retiring because his production on the field will be sorely missed. But if he’s going to go, I’m glad he’s going out firing his mouth on all cylinders. This is a quote I’ll be storing in my mental rolodex for years to come:

“That includes the ultimate character guy, facetiously speaking of course, Michael Irvin. Please get a clue on how to be a journalist.”

Ouch. I wonder what “Playmaker” thinks about that. I’ve never understood how people continue to laud Irvin and remember him as a great leader while on the Cowboys. How can a guy who spent several off-seasons in court fighting various drug-possession and gun charges ever truly be thought of as a leader? Don’t you need to have at least a baseline level of integrity and character? Maybe I’m wrong...

2. As much as I detest Bill Belichick and the Patriots, I have this gut-wrenching feeling that they’re going back to the Super Bowl. They pissed all over Minnesota’s defense by giving the Vikings a five-wideout look. They play in the worst division in the NFL. They’re tied for the second-best record in their conference. I guess people predicted their demise a bit too early. The NFL sucks for that.

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