Thursday, May 19, 2005

Dear Federal Government: Please Go 'F' Yourselves

I can't believe the United States government is taking an active interest in the steroids issue. I also can't believe that they're proposing to make a federal law overseeing steroids enforcement in all professional sports leagues in the US. Beyond that, I really can't believe why a first-time offender should get a two-year ban from their sport and a repeat offender should get a lifetime ban. How on earth does this make sense? I don't care what Olympics losers do. The Olympics are a big joke anyway since we all know that these athletes dope up.

Who said that American pro sports should follow international amateur doping standards? How is it even the federal government's business? It is up to each sport to regulate its own affairs and to keep its house in good order. If it does not, the fan and corporate backlash will take care of the matter. There is no reason for the government to waste time or money on something that is simply not important enough to the operation of the country.

For that reason, I invite all 538 members of the legislative branch to collectively 'F' themselves. If they're not willing to get off C-Span with their goddamn grandstanding, we should all write in Sammy Sosa and Mark McGwire as our next candidates. Juiced or not, they've shown that they're as intelligent as the anus-faces that run this country.

4 comments:

Gutsy Goldberg said...

I couldn't agree more with MJ. There is absolutely no excuse for Congress to waste it's time, and eventually, a lot of money just to regulate ENTERTAINMENT. Yes, I hate to break it to Congress, but sports are just entertainment. By next year, Congress will have a commission set up to regulate roller rinks, which is just as worthy of a federal issue as regulating all sports.

Hitman said...

This future attorney concurs in part and dissents in part. Sports are not "just entertainment" - right or wrong, with apologies to Charles Barkley, pro athletes ARE role models, and their examples are followed by millions of kids every day. I believe that drug and steroid use is a serious public health problem in the aggregate, and therefore that this is an appropriate arena in which Congress can legislate, if it so chooses.

That said, I concur with Mo's hostility toward adoption of the international Olympic standard. While I don't share the same vitriol toward Olympic athletes, I agree that a two-year ban for a first-time offense might be too harsh. There's a middle ground that would strongly discourage athletes in pro sports from using steroids but still would provide an opportunity for true rehabilitation.

Frankly, I think Selig's proposal is pretty solid. 50-100-life for steroid offenses may well be a balance along the lines of what I have in mind. But if Selig and that slimy S.O.B. Fehr can't come to an agreement, I have no trouble with Congress doing it for them.

Mighty Mike said...

I'll go with the other end. Sports is entertainment. On the other hand has anyone seen what the Republicans have done when they handle real issues (Food stamps, the environment, constitution, etc)? Frankly I would rather they spend their time screwing up steriod policy rather than destroying whatever else is on the agenda. Present example of the Senate being prime example.

MJ said...

As much as this former Republican is disgusted with the actions of his former party, the Democrats are just as responsible for this moronic stand on the steroids issue. The very reason WHY both sides of the aisle are working this issue is because each side believes that it can go home to voters and say that they did something during their term.

If the government wants to make the distribution and use of steroids illegal on the same level as cocaine and heroin, they can go right ahead. If they want to enact a get-tough policy on those people that sell steroids to minors or to punish coaches/educators that bring steroids or endorse their use on campus, they can feel free. But to regulate private business and to infringe upon the right of management and labor unions to collectively bargain their own settlements is positively un-American and goddamn offensive to my morals.