Thursday, May 05, 2005

Early Bird Catches the Worm

As you regular readers well know I typically post my column on Sundays or Mondays. Partly because thats in my contract, partly because much like a 6 pack of High Life it must be aged to perfection and partly because I easily draw on the likes of Norman Chad, Peter King, and host of other sports reporters for inspiration/ entertainment/ criticisms. However I decided this week to post early? Why? Well partly because its Cinco de Mayo and like the title states : The early bird catches the worm (albeit tequilla). Now I know what all of you are saying: doesn't tequilla make you pass out, be carried out of a concert by paramedics and keep you from reporting? And the answer is yes. Luckily today sports writers don't use what we like to call "facts". They can just make stuff up (Mitch Alboum) or re-hash what everyone already knows (Peter King) or just repeat made up stuff (Peter Gammons). The shame of it, is that at least Peter Gammons is unaware when he makes stuff up (David Brooks on the other hand is a liar liar pants on fire...Oh how I loathe David Brooks). Anyway see if you can pick out the date, player or person.

1) Young, immature player quits on team during playoffs. Sure he could've played but he had a tummy ache. So the coach sent him to home to sit in his room think about what he had done.

Answer: Khame Brown
Kwame is the archtype of why high schoolers shouldn't be drafted directly into the NBA. The hype/potential never matched reality. Bad attitude, not enough guidance/teaching and maybe not as good as advertised. Kwame and most of that class of high schoolers (see Desagna Diop) are why high schoolers playing everyday in the NBA is bad for the league and bad for the kids. Maybe if they had a little college tutoring they would have longer and more productive careers and we wouldn't have to watch their painful growth.

2) Baseball dynasty falling flat on its face. Multiple hall of famers rendered as mere mortal. New Yorkers up in arms threatening to destroy frankstein monster.

Answer: You could actually pick either this year or 1965. 1965 the Yankee dynasty free fell out of playoff contention. Then a number of the superstars seemed to fall apart all at once leaving New Yorkers to focus on defeating the Frankstein Monster that was ransacking Midtown (later the monster was rehabbed, took on the name Peter Boyle, and starred in his autobiography Young Frankstein.

Today Yankees fans don't have that kind of distraction. Also in many cases its more than just a few aging superstars but crappy personnel decisions. Wright over Lieber? Signing "Flash" Gordon? Usually in the MLB when a team goes into a tailspin it can sell its veteran talent and get younger. Who are the Yanks going to sell their talent to and who would take it? Nope Georgie boy is going to have eat the Giambi contracts of the world and either push that ridiculous budget even higher or wait awhile for re-tooling.

3) Cleveland sports player injured. Hopes destroyed for any sembalance of winning.

Answer. If you had answered any year between 1970 and today you would be correct.

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