Sunday, May 29, 2005

Shut Your Piehole! #5

Amazingly, this feature spot on Back Seat Drivers has had four installations before turning its attention to one of the better-known idiots in sports today: Joe Morgan.

In the pre-game chat before tonight's Red Sox-Yankees game, Morgan and Jon Miller discussed David Wells, who's starting tonight's game and who's had a pretty terrible season thus far (2-4, 6.81 ERA, 1.51 WHIP). Morgan noted that tonight's effort could be "a turning point for his season, a turning point for his career."

Ok, Joe, I'll give you the "season" comment. Boston needs Wells to turn things around for the last four months, and needless to say, how he pitches against the team's biggest rival could have massive and long-term repercussions for the rest of the year. If he does well tonight, perhaps that will provide some spark for the Boomer to return to form; if not, he may find himself buried too far in the hole.

But "a turning point for his career"? David Wells is 42 years old! He came up in 1987, finished third in the Cy Young Award voting in 1998 and 2000, pitched a perfect game in 1998, has won 214 games and three World Series, and will perhaps tonight record his 2000th career strikeout. So, Joe, if he pitches well tonight, what can we expect from the rest of his career? Maybe he'll turn things around and get another 100 wins? Perhaps another two or three rings? A chance at six more no-nos, to tie Nolan Ryan? The sky's the limit for the Boomer - if only he pitches well tonight!

Joe Morgan, quit running your blabber mouth, and just SHUT YOUR PIEHOLE!

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