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One aspect of sports we have been assuredly ignoring is college football. Ah college the place where boozing and sex produces jokes which are only funny at 3 in the morning (much like citron on my face). For those that have experienced Division I football, college also brings about the chance to hate a rival; whose identity was possibly selected before you grandparents were born. All schools that play football have at least one death rival. Miami has Florida State, The Buckeyes have the Wolverines, Army has Navy, Notre Dame has Not Notre Dame, Jack in the Box has Burger King, Samuel Jackson has snakes on a plane, etc. Even teams that historically aren't football powerhouses have rivals. Minnesota plays for Wisconsin for the rights to an oversized lumber axe and UCLA plays USC for the rights to sleep with Paris Hilton. Anyway as college football is only a handful of weeks away I'm introducing my top 4 tops for winning it all. I have three rules of thumb for picking a college football champion: 1) What's your schedule like (do you play your rival/tough games at home. In college home field, whether we're talking in basketball, football or the poker tables, matters a great deal) ; 2) Do you have an experienced QB (only a handful of first year QBs win it all) ; 3) Do you have a defense (defense wins championships). In no particular order:
1) Notre Dame - Heisman trophy, number one pick front runner Brady Quinn returns for another full season under Charlie "Fat Finges" Weiss. If Weiss can bring in his old pal Belichek to run some defensive drills Notre Dame is in good shape. Plus it is Notre Dame, so the hype gives them an edge for voting. Downside they play at USC last game of the regular season.
2) OSU - The Sweatervest has an offense stocked. Troy Smith ranked up over 800 yards the FINAL TWO GAMES. That’s not too shabby. Michigan and PSU had to the horseshoe also. On the downside OSU plays at night on the road in Longhorn country and have to replace 9 defensive starters.
3) W. Virginia - Playing in the Big East is like me playing a bunch of third…err first graders. Who is going to beat W. Virginia? W. Virginia is a tough team that returns most of the starters that beat SEC champion UGA last year. The downside…will voter's respect a victory over Rutgers?
4) Oklahoma - Experienced QB. Check. Possible Heisman Trophy Winner (Adrian Peterson), check. Quality coach that makes sure the defense is solid. Check. Home game against rival (Texas). Double Check. Question of the day: will their offensive line improve over last year?
Anyway without further ado some cheering and jeering......
Mega Jeers: To the season ending injury to Browns newly signed Pro Bowl center, LeCharles Bentley. The pain parade never stops in
Northern Ohio. Abe Lincoln once said "If there is a place worse than hell, I am there". Mr. Lincoln, that place is Cleveland Sportsdom and I am there.
Cheers: To Stephen Colbert putting Matt Lauer in his place. Lauer couldn't find a sense of humor with a flashlight, a map and several helper monkeys.
Jeers: To Floyd Landis for failing the drug test. Floyd brought shame to his country (turns out it was America) by testing positive for "unusual levels of testosterone". The fact that he was seen shaving four times a day while cycling might have been the tip-off. One can only hope Landis does the honorable thing and commit sepku for dishonoring his nation. I suppose we could wait and see if Landis is truly guilty of doping but isn't it just easier to jump to conclusions?
Cheers: To Charles Barkley floating the idea of running for Governor of Alabama. The sound bytes that would come out of Sir Charles in a political race would be well worth whatever policy stances he takes. The only thing better would be having Sir Charles run against Greg Anthony and have the debate moderated by Steven A. Smith. Why oh why can't political campaigns be more like the NBA on TNT?
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