Meet Your 2006 NFL Rookie Coaching Class

I feel like it’s been a long time since 7 NFL head coaches with no prior NFL head coaching experience have taken over at the same time. With all of these new coaches, I feel like it would only be educational to provide some information about each, and propose a nickname for each of the rookie head coaches.

1. New York Jets
Coach Eric Mangini
Proposed Nickname: Coach Mangina

I know I shouldn’t make fun of people’s names, but this one was too easy to pass up. Plus, all season long we can have the running plot-line of Coach Mangina dealing with his inner struggle between acting “Man”-like and acting ‘gina-like.
Mangini is a Belichick disciple, and also was a “23-year old ballboy and a public relations intern for the Cleveland Browns.” http://www.usatoday.com/sports/football/nfl/jets/2006-07-06-mangini-cover_x.htm

2. Houston Texans
Coach Gary Kubiak
Proposed Nickname: The Understudy

I couldn’t really think of a good nickname for Gary Kubiak. Whenever I hear his name though, I don’t think “offensive genius,” I think “goofy backup to John Elway.” Kubiak backed up John Elway from 1983-1991.

3. Detroit Lions
Coach Rod Marinelli
Proposed Nickname: Sensei

A great quote here: "There's one voice for discipline. Mine," the Vietnam veteran said during his introductory news conference. "There's one voice for leadership. Mine." Wow. I'm guessing this guy is like another Vietnam veteran, the leader of the Cobra Kai in Karate Kid. I picture him running the Lions practices in a whole new way.
Sensei: Fear does not exist in Ford Field, does it?
Detroit Lions: NO, SENSEI!
Sensei: Pain does not exist in Ford Field, does it?
Detroit Lions: NO, SENSEI!
Sensei: Defeat does not exist in Ford Field, does it?
Detroit Lions: NO, SENSEI!

4. Green Bay Packers
Coach Mike McCarthy
Proposed Nickname: Packer Person
McCarthy has one of the worst resumes of any rookie coach. He was the Packers QB in 1999, when the Packers went 8-8. He was the 49ers offensive coordinator then from 2000-2004. Last year, the 49ers were 30th in scoring. I have no idea how he got a head coaching job now, as opposed to earlier in his career. However, I did find his mission statement, at http://www.packers.com/news/stories/2006/01/12/1/ , His mission statement for the Packers focuses on 3 components: “Packer People,” “Stable Structure” and “Character and Chemistry.” I don’t know what “Packer People” are. Are they fans? Are they draft picks? I guess we’ll find out.

5. Minnesota Vikings
Coach: Brad Childress
Proposed Nickname: B-Rad
Brad’s credentials are fairly solid, having been the offensive coordinator at Philly. More importantly, it looks like Brad takes the cake for “Best Moustache in the 2006 NFL Rookie Coaching Class.” Congratulations.




6. New Orleans Saints
Coach: Sean Payton
Proposed Nickname: The Apprentice
Credentials include serving under Bill Parcells and being an assistant on the Giants 2000 NFC Championship team. I also liked this added bit of random knowledge provided on NFL.com : “In addition to coaching quarterbacks, Payton had a very brief pro playing career at that position in the CFL and as a Chicago Bears replacement player in the 1987 strike season.”
Also turns out that he made a pit-stop at Miami University, my alma mater. As said on the Sporting News: “By 1994 he was an assistant at Miami University of Ohio, the school that has earned the nickname "Cradle of Coaches" by virtue of having served as a training ground for legends, among them Paul Brown, Woody Hayes, Bo Schembechler, Ara Parseghian and Weeb Ewbank. By 1997, he was coaching quarterbacks in Philadelphia for Ray Rhodes.” Other than the Ray Rhodes comment, it’s a damn good resume!

7. St. Louis Rams
Coach: Scott Linehan
Proposed Nickname: Hanny
He was the offensive coordinator on the Vikings in 2002-2004 when the Vikings ranked in the top 5 every year in yards gained. He then went to the Dolphins last year and got production out of Gus Frerotte! Now, he’s the head coach of the Rams. Should be an interesting experiment, as Linehan has been proven to devise some creative schemes. They posted this real goofy picture of him on the Rams website that needed to be shared with everyone.