Cheers and Jeers: Mad Mark's Love Potion Edition

Ingredients
Coke
Rum 151 (add as needed)

It’s often hard to write to an audience I have never met while sober so I have to imagine you. I imagine you, the reader, are probably at home or in an office, or maybe even a high speed bullet train. You are reading this one on your computer while sipping your coffee, maybe even a macchiato out a cup or if its night your drinking your mead out of a ram’s horn. While you sip your beverage you’re demanding to be entertained. I imagine it’s because you’re still recovering from the crossbow competition mishap and need the cheering up. So my adoring audience I have a special treat, no not that opium you’re addicted to, but a point and counter point between myself and my son, Mad Mark. Mad Mark was raised in Big 12 country or by wolves I forget which…anyway so he and I will debate the Big 12. Currently it has 3 teams in the top 6 of the BCS. How good is the Big 12?

Sam Bradford: Heisman candidate or autistic monkey?

Point: The Big 12 is for real. Deal with it Bitches by Mad Mark

(updated: links now work)
Is the Big 12 for real? Yes they are. 3 teams in the top 6 and 4 in the top 15 of the BCS standings? If it were a fluke in one poll, Mighty Mike may have something legitimate to bitch about. But, since the BCS rankings combine both of the human polls and lots of the computer polls, there’s no logical argument to dispute the fact that The Big 12 stands to be reckoned with.

Most east-coast biased sports-writers & “fans” (who never see the games on TV anyway) downgrade the Big 12. Note how 9 of them (along with 7 of the ‘contenders’) have 2 or less wins. How does a team with 4 wins become ranked in the bottom 10? Yes, Nebraska is bad this year. Partly due to the fact that the incompetent Bill Callahan is now recruiting players that look like this and this one who he lost to a better program (and even despite this handicap Nebraska still has 4 times as many wins as Notre Dame who gets all their games televised). Regardless, you can’t deny the fact there are 4 teams from the Big 12 in the top 15.

Big 12 gets a bad wrap in bowl games, because it’s traditionally the #2 team from another conference against the #5 team or #6 team in the Big 12. Due to strict publishing timelines, (and the fact that I have to work for a living) I don’t have time to research all the details on each of the Bowl Games, but I’m sure Mighty Mike wouldn’t publish it anyway.

The true test of Conference versus conference would be to match up the #3, #4, and #5 (and maybe #6 in bigger conferences) teams from each conference. There will be elite and awful teams each year. This comparison will truly show what each conference is made of, by eliminating the outliers. We’ll match up the Big 12 with the Big 10, just for argument’s sake: #3 would be Mizzou and Penn State. #4 would be Texas and Illinois. #5 would be Oklahoma State versus Wisconsin, and #6 would be Kansas State versus Purdue. I’ll bet my lunch money that says the Big 12 wins 3 (if not 4) of those matchups.

One final part(y)ing shot - How many other conferences will a coach go party at an opposing campus? Gotta love the Big 12!!!

Counterpoint: The Big 12 Blows Big Floppy Donkey Dick by Mighty Mike
Mark, you ignorant slut. Typically I wouldn’t exchange pleasantries with a man that changes team loyalty with the frequency of Brittney Spears after a coke binge but I have not written this piece to discuss your affiliation with NAMBLA but instead the Big 12. Contrary to public opinion I have not come to bury the Big 12 but to praise it. After all while the Big 10 was being slaughtered last year the Big 12’s best team put up a valiant, albeit losing, effort against the juggernaut of Boise St. Sure Boise State needs blue turf so that anyone will notice them but Oklahoma was saddled with Adrian Peterson, a running back that obviously was drafted too high and has since struggled in the Pros. Yes with Peterson somehow Oklahoma found a way to barely lose. These heroics by Oklahoma have somehow overshadowed other Big 12 beasts in action. Like Nebraska’s 01-02 loss to Miami 37-14. Or Oklahoma’s loss to USC 55-19 in 04-05. In fact the Big 12 continues to get high accolades even though it’s only of two major conferences to have a losing record in BCS bowl games (5-7). Yet unlike the ACC, the Big 12 slides through like its skating on greased pancakes in a Teflon rink as a great conference. Yes you fighting men of the Big 12 congrats. What you lack in play making ability, depth, or coaching you make up for in marketing. I can only give you the bird in salutation.

Thanks Mark for this edition in Point-Counterpoint. Others will be coming. And now for some Cheering and Jeering…

Cheers: To Your Games of the Week. In college I have Georgia v. Auburn, Michigan v. Wisconsin and Cal v. USC. In the Pros I have Jacksonville v. Tennessee, Browns v. Steelers and Giants v. Cowbitches

Cheers: To Rivalries. This week is ripe with NFL Rivalries. New York v. Dallas. Cleveland v. The Hated Yinzers . Green Bay and Minnesota , Chicago versus the World over the flood of misspellings. You can almost taste the hate. There’s something different about rivalry games. No matter how your team is doing, you’re a little bit more anxious, a little bit more edgy and a little quicker to call from the opponent’s scrotum to be caught in a bizarre Zamboni mishap. Here’s to you hate, you make sports great.

Cheers: The Illibuck. For those that are unaware the Illibuck is the trophy given to the winner of the OSU v. Illinois games. Why is it a wooden turtle? Well originally a turtle was selected since it would live a long time but a bathtub mishap resulted in the turtle’s death and it being replaced by the wooden one today (true story). The smoking of a peace pipe at halftime tradition was also discontinued for reasons that I can’t fathom.

Actual size of trophy

Jeers: To Belichek’s fake handshake to Tony Dungy. Not because it was classless, immature move but because Belichek just didn’t go far enough. If you are really going to stick to your opponent go all out. Yell in his face, slip him the old do you like chocolate pretzels (oh mallrats) or go for the old fashioned stare down. Come on. Build this rivalry up even more.

Jeers: To Neil Patrick Harris. I don’t ask for much in life. My family being healthy, my friends happy, a Browns’ player rupturing Hines Ward’s spleen and for Hollywood not to dress up as homicidal clowns. Is that too much to ask Neil? Come on. Now I’m going to have nightmares for weeks…

Your Ironic Quote of the Week: "You can't be President and head of the military at the same time" said Commander in Chief Bush

Your Youtube Clip of the Week: LSU Fans can dance. (warning provocative dancing and rap music for those with stuffy shirts)

Your C&J gal of the Week: Megan Fox star of Transformers and grease monkey….