What better way to kick off another great weekend in college football than to have your local fast-food establishments joining the party?Here’s to hoping for the following outcomes:
1. Arkansas over LSU. Why? Because that would drop LSU out of the top 5 and put The Ohio State Sweatervests back into the national title game picture.
2. Texas A&M over Texas. Why? Because it’s fun to root against anyone or anything from Austin, TX (especially governors and football teams).
3. Missouri over Kansas. Why? Because I’ve paid state taxes in Missouri. Kansas is the dullest state in the union. Plus, it would be fun to see Coach Mangino explode and for his remains to be used to end world hunger.
4. Kentucky over Tennessee. Why? Because is there anyone more insufferable than Coach Fullmer?
5. Oklahoma State over Oklahoma. Why? To prove once and for all that Oklahoma’s been overrated for this entire decade. It’s time for Bob Stoops to disappear.
6. Auburn over Alabama. Why? Nick Saban is Alabama’s coach. There’s never a bad reason to root against him.
This holiday weekend, while you’re settling in for a nice afternoon on the couch with a sandwich made from the leftover turkey or with a nice hunk of pie, just remember to root for the good guys. No one likes Texas, Alabama, Oklahoma, or Tennessee. If you do, you have no soul.
No comments:
Post a Comment