In honor of the summer movies that are starting to open, or already have opened, I thought it would be fun to go through some of the top movies that I would like to film and/or create, based on some amount of reality, and a whole lot of fiction.
1) Onterrio Smith in “The Whiz”– The end scene of this movie would have that same piano music from The Firm. NFL agents would finally discover what was in Onterrio Smith’s briefcase, as Onterrio runs, jukes, and dekes his way through the airport. Unlike The Firm though, Onterrio is eventually tackled by one of the NFL agents (I think it would be funny if Warren Sapp played the agent), and Onterrio ends up turning over his Whizzinator, the creator of the Whizzinator, all of his powdered urine, and ends up getting suspended for 1 year. In real news, Onterrio just signed a contract with the CFL. I'm not sure whether that's a happy ending for the movie or not.
2) Ultimate Warrior in “Facepaint” - he’s not really in sports, but he had a great theme song. I’d write up a fictional piece about how he confuses his real self with his Warrior self, similar to the inner struggle in the movie Spider-Man and how the Green Goblin eventually takes over a mild-mannered scientist. In this movie, the Ultimate Warrior originally was a mild-mannered churchgoer. By the end, he listens to the voices in his head, he’s doing blow off of hookers, all WHILE his theme music is playing. I found this link to his website, where he dispells the rumors that his heart exploded, that he died, that he had a cousin do his role, and where he often talks about himself in the third person. http://www.ultimatewarrior.com/concept.htm
3) Albert Belle in “Don’t Call Me Joey” - So many action moments in this movie– throwing a ball at a fan, chasing down kids in your SUV who egg your house. The SUV scene would be amazing to film, though I’m still not sure how he didn’t run over the kids or crash his car. Every time someone calls him Joey, he loses his cool, kind of like Michael J. Fox in Back to the Future when people would call him “chicken” or “yellow.” Just like in Back to the Future, you’d have some dramatic music each time someone calls him Joey. Unlike Marty McFly though, Albert Belle literally beats the crap out of people when they call him Joey. Somehow by the end of the movie you’d feel sorry for him because of a debilitating back/hip injury (I can’t remember) that forces him to never play baseball again. The movie would end with him playing Mortal Kombat and ripping someone’s spine out.
4) Shawn Kemp in “Reign Man” - Add in some fiction and pretend that each of Shawn Kemp’s 9 mothers did not know about each other… until one fateful day! It’s polygamy to the greatest level! If that show on HBO, “Big Love” can succeed, I don’t see why this movie involving an NBA superstar polygamist wouldn’t work. Then you show him eating his way out of the league, starting with a fateful day where he eats 5 double Quarter Pounders to win a bet with Gary Payton.
5) Maurice Clarrett in “Run” - Real meaty, dramatic stuff in this movie – you could show Maurice getting caught w/ thousands of dollars in his SUV provided by the OSU boosters. You can also show legal arguments to allow him to get drafted, donations from boosters, getting drafted in the 3rd round, failing in training camp, and stealing from other people and then running away. During the scene where he steals, I would play the ‘80s song, “I wanna be rich.” This movie would have a really sad ending, as even Lebron James won’t return his phone calls by the end of the movie (they used to be friends, back when both were ready to take over the sports world).
6) Jose Canseco in “Juiced” – This movie would certainly have guest appearances by his brother, being king of the world (girls used to run on the field to give him a kiss), introducing everyone to steroids, writing a book, testifying before Congress, appearing on VH1’s the Simple Life. Wow. Now that’s what I call a movie!
I’m sure there are other good possibile movie ideas out there, so feel free to make some other suggestions.
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