Friday, September 12, 2008

Cheers and Jeers: Black Watch Edition

Well here at Cheers and Jeers we have built up a nice following. As such Erin Andrews decided to stop by to ask a few questions.

Mighty Mike, as the OSU alum at BSD, how are you feeling about the upcoming USC v. tOSU?A lot of people are predicting a beatdown for your beloved Buckeyes.

In the words of Tom Cruise, to all the haters why don't you take a big step back and go fuck yourself. Now that I got out of my system look you have a college team traveling across times zones with their star player hurt, a coaching staff that has contracted Lloyd Carr disease (predictable play calling and inability to make adjustments) and a QB that couldn't find an opening with a road map, flashlight and his girlfriend lying naked in front of him (oops, sorry honey wrong hole again). On the other side you have a team 37-1 in last 38 games at home with a coach that sits on top of the most populous state and finds 5 star recruits like Hugh Hefner finds panties. What do you think is going to happen? George Custer Tressel will walk over the hill and get massacred. Mark May will take his head out of the SEC's ass to have a funeral for the Big 10. Herbie will be "shocked" at how awful the Big 10/OSU are as he ups his level of self-loathing to Liebermanesque levels. Somewhere along the line college football pundits and USC/SEC fans adopted the Bill Simmons school of fandom (but the Celtics are the greatest team EVAH. How can you not not only bow down to them but actively root for them?). Sorry not rooting for the University of Spoiled Children or for universities based in states were if your able to poke your eye with a stick you can get a high school diploma. Fuck them. I'd rather root for the Buckeyes. Umm can I say fuck on this network?

Yes. If your team is going to get beat can you at least take some pleasure in the Michigan v. Notre Dame game?

No. I will absolutely take no pleasure in watching the Cripple Fight Bowl. Blind monkeys flinging poo will exhibit more offensive execution.

But both are getting better and in few years will be competitive

Well then I maybe I can enjoy that game in this mythical future from the floating city of New New York. In the meantime this game will blow. The only thing interesting is to see who will win the halftime douchebag off between Rodriguez and Weis (winner gets to face Nick Saban)

Speaking of Nick Saban after Clemson's devastating loss, Coach Bowden called Nick Saban for advice. Any thoughts on this?

What Tommy Bowden didn't turn to his dad for coaching advice? I'm shocked. Asking for Nick Saban for help on football is like asking Lyndsey Lohan on advice on how to get over your Coke Orgy addiction. Sure they're experts but why would you think they'd be willing to help?

You seem to be having some frustration issues. I understand that you know a little something about politics. Any thoughts on the Sarah Palin phenomenon?

I assume its one of those inside great practical jokes. McCain was sitting around thinking, "you know I bet I could put out a person that charged women for rape kits as someone who champions women's issues and have people believe it". Honestly the only way to top this current joke is if he could conduct the next week of the campaign with his dick on Charlie Gibson's head and nobody notice.

What's the number one issue you feel is confronting the country?

Obviously its how this country plans to deal with clown attacks. For too long clowns have hunted our loved ones, hurt our economy, and used up our precious supply of balloon animals. What do the candidates plan to do to take the fight to the Clown homeland? I haven't heard a satisfactory answer yet.

A namely blogger linked you to C&J girl Samantha Harris? Any truth to this rumor?

I try not to talk about my personal life on the blog. Sorry. I will only say she's surprisingly knowledgeable about the importance of the Rain Forest as a potential source of carbon burying

Well thank you taking the time for this interview

My pleasure

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