Friday, June 02, 2006

Cheers and Jeers: Rainy Night

3 shots Vodka
4 shots Whiskey
Peach juice to taste
dash Vermouth
1 Lemon

Well its the start of summer but here in the heart of Ohio it doesn't seem that way. The heavens have opened up and its been raining more or less continuously for three straight days. I knew it was bad when I saw my neighboring building an ark for his various plants, animals and favorite board games. However for me nothing is better than a bit of rain (well assuming I don't get flooded away). Curling up watching a little sports while its raining outside is probably one of the great national pastimes. Now the catch is which sport do you watch and how do you avoid getting up during the game? I propose the True Lazy Chair 4000 that has a conveyer belt from the fridge for beer delivery as well as built in toilet. Now sure that might not be ascetically pleasing but its utilitarian and on rainy days with sports thats what you want.

Cheers: To the Pirates. Its not often I'll cheer just about anything going on in Pittsburgh (maybe if the Plague happened there) but the lowly Pirates have won four in a row, sweeping the once promising Brewers. So everyone give the Pirates a rousing sarcastic clap.

Jeers: To Homeland Security. I know I know its sports blog and I know I'm giving some support to New Yorkers but the following things are classified landmarks/icons according to the Freedom Budget (or whatever Homeland security calls its funding review): The World's Largest Ball of Paint (Alexanderia, Indiana), The Museum of Bad Art (Dedham, Ma), Publius' Porn Collection (DC), and The Giant Lava Lamp (it actually covers three states) while not a single thing in all of New York City (even the corn beef sandwhich at the Carnegie Deli) is considered an icon/landmark by DHS.

Jeers: To CNNSI's constant top 5 , top 15, etc, lists. Its silly and insulting to have some chimp with a suit randomly selecting a player or event and pasting it on the internet. Unless its one of those super intelligent apes from the space program. I really can't compete against those apes.

Cheers: To David Hasselhoff. I just find it funny that he's a Dirk Nowitzki groupie. Or that Ernie Johnson is a Hasselhoff groupie. Or that Charles Barkley rips Ernie Johnson for that. Or that Charles Barkley doesn't realize he's on tv. Actually it all amuses me.

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